different-yet-complicated - Tumblr blog

[different-yet-complicated]

[different-yet-complicated]

the idea of morning sex where light is peaking through the window and you’re still in that sleepy mode yet drowned by pleasure is everything

[different-yet-complicated]

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[different-yet-complicated]

Once again I’m not OK. Once again I’m between a rock and a hard place. Once again I’ve fucked up.

[different-yet-complicated]

I wish I knew...

I wish I knew what you were thinking.. maybe were thinking the same thing but both are too scared to say because if spoken out loud would make it real and neither of us really want that... or do we? What is it about us that we cant let go?

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It’s really fucking sad how when I’m feeling really suicidal and I don’t feel safe being alone that I literally have to beg my friends to hang out with me…

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"Aren't you worried those medications will affect your brain?" my dude that is literally exactly why i am taking them

[different-yet-complicated]

Brain Fucked

You dont hear me when I say I'm tired I'm not sleepy. I'm exhausted. I dont need sleep I need a break before I break. You dont get it. I'm drowning and cant breath and all your doing is pushing me back under. You dont understand, how could you. I dont wanna get out of bed. I dont want to deal with people I don't want to deal with my self. My brains going a million miles a sec. No specific details other than the constant criticism

Your fat

Your lazy

You just ate so much shit

Be sick

Be dead.

You'll never be skinny

You'll always be fat and ugly

I dont have the confidence I need to make it I might as well give up

Cant give up

Keep fighting

Be strong

Ew

Disgusting

It's fine

Your fine

Life is fine

Deal with it

Get over it

Fucking bitch

Leave

Run

Hide

Fight

Stay

Thrive

Survive

Lies

Ugly

Unwanted

Love

Fuck

Sex

Haha what the fuck is sex what is love wtf

Hateful piece of shit.

Push everyone away so you can sulk in private.

Better off alone.

My mind is at war. My home is a mess. My love is strong but I am weak. I bring down the other. I tear my self apart. I feel numb and hurt all over. It's different then regular pain. It's like my heart cracks and I feel it down my spine. It's harder to breath you cant move. Your stuck. Paralyzed. Dying.

[different-yet-complicated]

Dreams

Ever had a dream about being with your fist puppy love back in elm. School? I would so date him again if I had a chance. He will always have a tiny spot in my heart.

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I like it better when I'm home alone.

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I thought that since you moved id never see you again. Never bump into you. I went to the store to grab my mom so cigs and there you was. I knew was you. From your hair and the way you were standing. My heart still drops when I see you... mom says we wernt ment to be from the beginning but how has it been 4 years and my heart still drops? Is it just in my head?

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I got to let go

I heard you moved away and that your girl is having a baby. It's definitely a wow moment for me. Remeber that time when you said you wanted kids with me? Probably not. So you're trying so sober up? I wish you luck. I pray for you and your baby. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. I'm sorry I ever fell into your trap. Why did you tell me id always pick you over anyone? Why did you curse me like that? Cause now I have to move on with the thoughts of you having a child with another women. I miss you. The old you the you that would let me sit on your lap and snooze. The you I would sneak out to see... but its all over now. Years have passed. And your having a kid.

[different-yet-complicated]

Sins

Lord knows ive sinned over 1000 times

He know I'll do it again over and over.

What exactly are sins?

They are the hate that feels unbearable. The way you decide to talk to act.

Are you doing good in your life? Are your sins harming others or yourself?

God forgives but will you forgive yourself?

[different-yet-complicated]

if you are ASEXUAL, you do not experience SEXUAL ATTRACTION.

if you are AROMANTIC, you do not experience ROMANTIC ATTRACTION.

if you are AROMATIC, you have a PLEASANT AND DISTINCTIVE SMELL.

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What am I doing?

I'm torturing myself by keeping you around. I'm not happy. I dont even think I'm attracted to you anymore. What am I doing? Thinking I can love you... or anyone for that matter. I just don't think i can do this. I know we just go our own place but damn I dont think i can do this with you.

[different-yet-complicated]

Reblog the strawberry kitty for good luck!🍓🐱