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AITA for not wanting to divorce my wife when my in-laws are racist and fat phobic about it?

I’m(M) recently married to my(F) wife. For some context, I’ve known this family for roughly 3 years and worked for them; I never complained about the hard labor or long hours, hell I did the work of 3 men or more without breaking a sweat! I’m very self conscious about my looks and weight, so I glamorize myself and sometimes use a wrap to make myself thin. It hurts sometimes, but it’s better than being stared at or comments thrown at me. Now my in-laws, let's call them Mr. and Mrs. G, are big on tradition about passing the family business to a son, but they only have daughters and the oldest two are already married, and they can’t find a guy who will give up his surname for theirs (I can’t blame them, I haven’t met a guy who’s willing to do that). Anyways during those three years I’ve gotten to know Mr. and Mrs. G’s youngest daughter and currently my wife, Cui.

Sweetest, nicest girl I ever met and we hit it off without a hitch, she’s everything I wished for in a wife. She knows the ins and out of how to run her family business, but Mr. G refuses to just let her take over unless she’s married to a man who can take their surname…well after she told me that I said I can be her husband since I’m technically an orphan and I don’t have any attachments to the surname given to me. Originally it was going to be more of a business relationship or front until she can find someone she can love, especially how I actually look, and I told her that. Cui thought that was sweet of me. So we talked to her parents together and they gave their blessing once they learned I’m an orphan.

Wedding planning, preparations, and the actual wedding was nice but very stressful; I didn’t have much time to myself and decompress as my in-laws wanted my attention 24/7. I can feel my glamor smearing off and the wraps digging into my skin to the point it’s cutting into my skin. Though during the wedding I can’t just walk away for a moment to be alone and I don’t want to disappoint Cui, so I bear through the ceremony and during the reception I drink to get my mind off the pain and my insecurities. Now I may be an asshole here since I drank way too much and I haven’t had a drink in 3ish years, so I get more drunk than I wanted and got way too relaxed…where I took off the wraps under my clothes and my glam is off.

All hell broke loose, as if a hungry ghost or one of the kings was there! People were screaming about a fatass pig demon crashing the party and I was ready to throw this asshole out until Cui, my sweet wife, told me that they were talking about me. Still drunk and now shocked, I bawled my eyes out and ran out of the room, accidentally knocking stuff and people over on the way out. Cui followed after me to make sure I’m okay.

Ever since that, her parents bully and pick on me about my appearance and my weight, telling me I’m a fatso that doesn’t have the right to be part of their family, saying I stink up the place (I’m still working hard to support the business and during the hot summers I can’t help but sweat), to how much I eat (again it’s hard work and I do eat to cope from the abuse), to how they never see Cui anymore (she locked up in our house and I have the key so her parents can’t have surprise visits and abuse me more), to how I should go back to where I came from (and other racist remarks, but I don’t want to be flagged by the mods). They even hired thugs to get me to divorce Cui! Thugs who try to chase me out of my own home and wife! Thankfully I had years of experience in combat, and so far none bested me. Though their words are starting to get to me and that’s why I’m here asking you guys. Am I the asshole?

[digitalagepulao]

If let's say it is more characteristic that chinese dragons have the element of water? The fox spirits would be the fire? (once again, looking for Chinese fox spirits is difficult because sometimes I fear that the info will become more mixed with that of the Kitsune) What about tigers?

Yes, Chinese dragons are mainly associated with the Water element, and are weather deities, though Cold Dragons (freeze/chill) and Fire Dragons also exist, they are just a lot more rare.

Foxes do have association with Fire——not as strong as dragons and Water, but there are neat tidbits here and there. For example, in You Yang Za Zu, the same passage that mentioned foxes wearing human skulls on their heads in order to transform also said that, when foxes swung their tails around at night, fire comes out (夜击尾火出).

Vol. 448 of Taiping Guangji also mentioned a fox demon who had flames on its tail, "like a shooting star". In FSYY Pinghua, when Bi Gan shot an arrow at what appeared to be Daji in fox form, fire also came out when it connected.

The fox lady in the Qing dynasty 狐狸缘, while she was battling with Lv Dongbin, also spat out her "golden core" together with a stream of Samadhi Fire in an attempt to hurt him. Which is reminiscent of the more fire-like depiction of a fox's inner core.

However, there are other more obscure sources that associate foxes with the Earth element ('cause they dig holes and are yellow/orange colored?), and because Fire births Earth, you can light 1000 years old dead wood on fire, and the fire would lure the fox out and reveal its true form.

Also, one of the spells that's commonly used to subdue foxes and demons in general is the Five Thunder Arts (五雷法), where Daoists called upon the Thunder Bureau to strike their targets with fire and lightning.

I'm not as familiar with tiger yaoguais, but element-wise, the White Tiger of the West is associated with Metal, and in the Book of Mountains and Seas, Queen Mother of the West was said to have a leopard's tail + tiger's teeths, before she evolved into a more human form in later sources.

Tigers in folklore are more well-known for their ability to command ghosts, though. Specifically, ghosts of people they ate, who help lure in more preys for them, called 伥鬼.

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Local farmers, 68-year old Wang Changyang and 74-year old Lu Peng in Xuan'en county in Hubei, weave and make traditional bamboo hats and rain capes from palm bark. The costs of production are relatively inexpensive and the items are easy to use, yet with the popularity of plastic raincoats, the skills and craftsmen of these items are slowly vanishing.

Source: 荆楚恩施 

[digitalagepulao]

What’s your review on JTTS? If it’s like 100 chapters I do not have the energy unless it’s JTTW quality.

Well if you open the link then you can see it is about 18 chapters with around 100 pages. It's not that long but that doesn't take away from being more boring than usual. It follows Huaguang and how he seems to piss off someone in heaven, runs away, avoids capture, still gets reincarnated, and repeats the process about two more times. Some highlights in the book are seeing him marry Princess Iron Fan, fighting Thousand-Mile Eye and Fair-Wind Ear who turned to a life of crime and then turned to be his subordinates. There is also an interesting segment where he helped two demons escape a prison in one of his own escapes in a past life and just so happens that one of those demons becomes his mother in the next life.

Honestly, only the latter half of the book is all that interesting cause it follows his third and like most exciting life where he tries to save his demon mother from feeling the urge to eat humans. He goes to heaven to steal heavenly peaches to finally quell her hunger but he disguises himself as Sun Wukong to do so. That is where Wukong comes back into the story (he was in the first chapter and isn't seen until like the last two chapters) when Wukong has to arrest Huaguang to clear his own name. And his daughter Yuebie Xing comes along to help.

Overall I remember that there were more boring bits to slog through than exciting ones cause I wasn't really that engaged with Huaguang as a character, but I am glad that I read it at all, and honestly, it wasn't that long really. Huaguang does go on some fun adventures and maybe people can take enjoyment in that at least but I never felt he was that interesting, but he was quite funny when people pointed out his crimes and he would be offended as if HE DIDN'T COMMIT THOSE CRIMES HIMSELF. His audacity is something else. At least the end of seeing Yuebei Xing in action was well worth it to me.

[digitalagepulao]

holy shit is this gorgeous.

[digitalagepulao]

I had sent this to someone else before, but I would like to know your opinion. I understand that Erlang father was mortal, but in this Wikipedia story about Yunhua, he first was an immortal from heaven who later reincarnated as a human. It seems that it comes from the version where Erlang has no brothers and it is Xiwangmu who protects and cares for him. However I think you said that Wikipedia tends to copy anything. Like Shen gongao wiki. I wanted to ask if this was a true version and not something that comes from Chinese media such as tvshows or books for children.

According to the Ming dynasty classic Erlang Baojuan, Yunhua is one of the goddesses of the Three Flowers Gathering. Other two are her elder sister Tianhua and her second sister Jinhua. Yunhua fell in love with the Golden Boy. He later incarnated as a mortal named Yang Tianyou. After he had incarnated, Yunhua came down to earth, and star gods Erbasu and Jiuyaoxing followed her as her bodyguards. During a visit to the human world, Yunhua falls in love with Yang Tianyou, who is willing to use his own heart to save her after hers is damaged by a dragon. They soon get married and had a son named Yang Jian.

This version is the one in the Precious Scroll of Erlang. It is largely accurate to the source material, except for the "using his own heart to save her" part: that's from Lotus Lantern Prequel, a modern adaptation.

(Damn, Wikipedia, you were doing so well until that came up.)

In the original Precious Scroll, Yunhua just walks into Yang Tianhua's study, revealed her identity and his past incarnation, and they got insta-married.

Also, Erlang's name isn't given in the Precious Scroll. He's only named Yang Jian in FSYY, and funnily enough, FSYY never refers to him as "Erlang", just his full Daoist title, "True Master of Illustrious Sagacity" (清源妙道真君).

[digitalagepulao]

hello kiddos! tis my birthday! :D

ive been struggling mentally an awful time this year, which has made me slow down on commissions and thus my finances are slowly unravling before my eyes as i continue to struggle with job hunting. im not in any danger of anything but hey, if anyone want to send some bucks my way so i can treat myself i'd appreciate the gesture <33

as little as 3USD and i can share a beer with my irls at least TvT

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speaking of chinese horse memes this one is still my absolute favorite and at the risk of killing the joke by explaining it i must at least try to translate

loosely—

panel 1: 有句话不知当讲不当讲 (i have something to report but i don't know whether i should tell you or not) panel 2: 马上讲 (tell me immediately) panel 3: 之前的情报有误 (there was an error in an earlier report)

and the keywords here are 马上 in the second panel, which put together mean "immediately" but individually mean horse (马) and up or on (上)

so 马上讲 can both mean "tell me immediately" and, more literally, "tell me on the horse"

[digitalagepulao]

Going grave sweeping for Qingming Festival (Tomb Sweeping Day) in Guangxi. Qingming Festival occurs on the first day of the fifth solar term, or 15 days after the Spring Equinox (April 4th, 5th, or 6th). Families visit their ancestors' graves to clean up, pay their respects, and offer sacrifices.

(More comments under the cut!)

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Are there more stories about what demons Erlang has faced? Or more stories about him or where his character is included? I'm aware of Journey to the West, fsyy, the story with his mother and Lotus Lantern, but I was wondering if there were other stories where his character appears.

There are a lot of stories with him but they are more like legends than like narrative tales so to speak. Xiyouji, FSYY, and Lotus Lantern are novels and plays that allow full narratives that Erlang Shen features in but none really show the full extent of his character as he is more of a feature character than ever the protagonist.

Erlang's control of water is Erlang Shen's first and greatest achievement was water control and water control and made him a famous water god. With Erlang God's water control as the core, it radiates into legends such as killing dragons and slaying dragons.

Carrying mountains to catch the sun was from the Kaixi Period of the Song Dynasty, the "Inscription of the Induction of King Zhaohui Lingxian" describes the Erlang Shen as "the majesty of disturbing the mountain to take advantage of the sun, and the bravery of crossing the sea to capture the dragon.

The legend of Erlang Shen leading his divine soldiers and generals to search the mountains and succumb to demons can be found in the volume "Searching the Mountains", also known as the "Erlang Shen Searching the Mountains".

In the Five Dynasties, there is a legend about Erlang capturing an evil dragon. "Shu Shu": "The New Year's Banquet in June, "Guankou Divine Team" by Jiaofang Haiyu. The image of the two dragons fighting, the sky and the earth were dark for a moment, and there was heavy rain and hail. The Qing Dynasty's "Sichuan General Chronicle" locks the dragon: " It is said that Erlang locked the evil dragon in it. When frost falls and water falls, you may sometimes see it locked in the clouds."

In the Song Dynasty, there were a lot of themes of Erlang killing dragons. The Erlang who spent money usually rode an eagle and followed the dog. The entourage held a bow and stood a three-pointed two-edged sword beside him to subdue the dragon or the dragon transformed into a human body.

In the early days, Erlang Shen's divinity mainly came from Li Bing, who controlled floods. Guankou Erlang Shen controlled wind and rain, and Li Erlang's main deeds were also to capture dragons and control floods.

The "Stele Record of the Divine Blessing King" written by Zhou Hu of the Southern Song Dynasty (1170-1231) records that in 1206 AD, that is, the second year of Kaixi, Erlang Shen helped him fight against the Jin Dynasty and achieved a major turning point. Therefore, Emperor Ningzong of the Song Dynasty named Erlang Shen "Saint Martyr Zhaohui to protect the country".

As the belief in Erlang Shen spread widely, the priesthood of Erlang Shen also expanded as he was seen as a protector of the country's spirit. The "Nangong County Chronicle" of the Republic of China quoted Lu Zhongfu from Jin Zhangzong as saying: "In the autumn of the fifth year of Zhenglong (1160), the giant locusts covered the sky and ate all the acres. There were reports of hunger everywhere, the price of grain soared, and county people rushed to pray at the temple of Erlang Shen. The locusts dispersed and did not stay in the area. Fortunately, they were harmless at this time."

Erlang Shen is not only a god with vast supernatural powers and remarkable spiritual responses, but he was also regarded as the god of drama in the Ming Dynasty and was worshiped by Liyuan.

The Cuju industry also respects Erlang as the god of the industry and follows his character of playing games in the world.

Erlang God was revered as the "Lord of Sichuan" and became the god who protected the people of Sichuan from living and working in peace and contentment.

Song Zhang Tangying's " Sichuan Prayer " records: "(Qiande) in the second year of August, (Wang) Yan patrolled the north, and Prime Minister Wang Kai judged the guards of the six armies. The banners and flags were inexhaustible for hundreds of miles. Yan's military uniforms, Wearing golden armor, a beaded hat, and brocade sleeves, he holds a bow and carries an arrow. The people look at him and say he is like a 'guan-kou god'." Erlang Shen is equipped with a hound, an eagle, and a slingshot. It is a standard image of the hunting god, capable of restraining birds, beasts, mountain spirits, and wild monsters.

Because Erlang Shen carried a slingshot, he was attached to the function of delivering children by later generations. Because the slingshot is homophonic with "birth", it means birth. Almost every Erlang temple has people seeking children, which is the basic priesthood of Erlang Shen.

Tianqi was built in southern Fujian during the Chongzhen period of the Fengshan Ancestral Temple in the Ming Dynasty, the belief in Erlang Shen has formed a water god worship with strong local characteristics of southern Fujian in southern Fujian. There are now three statues in the Fengshan Ancestral Temple, which are called "Ambassador", "Second Ambassador" and "Third Ambassador", and "Ambassador" is the Erlang Shen in people's minds

I'm taking this all from his page so if you want a more detailed explanation I would suggest looking it into yourself because there is SO MUCH information about Erlang Shen being such a well-known figure and hero of legend that no way I can fit it all in one post but I hope this gives people an idea just how grand Erlang Shen's legend is and just how rich in both history and lore he is!

[digitalagepulao]

“your fave killed people. get over it” i will NOT get over it. he should have killed more people

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meme courtesy of the jttw server

The gang hitch a ride on a friendly turtle.

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今天的成语 An Idiom I Learned Today

recently learned about a new idiom and thought i would share! not sure if it counts as a 成语 per se, since it is 8 characters instead of 4. nonetheless here it is.

三天打鱼，两天晒网 sān tiān dǎ yú, liǎng tiān shài wǎng

literally: fish for 3 days, sun-dry the net for 2 days figuratively: to lack perseverance; to not earnestly work toward something

example: 你要是三天打鱼两天晒网，那你永远不会进步。 If you "fish for 3 days but sun-dry the next for 2," then you won't ever improve.

it's the idea that if you work towards something for 3 days but then rest for 2, you're basically wasting your time and not putting in as much effort as you could—since you could be putting that effort in all 5 days.

it's definitely a very chinese concept 😅 i'm pro resting myself LOL