diiinky-blog

[diiinky-blog]

i need somewhere to vent right now and seeing as this blog is empty and no one gives a shit about it, i’m gonna do it here. this might turn into a venty/personal blog oops. anyway. i wanna fucking give up so badly. it sounds shit because it is. i want to fucking give up and die and let the worms chew on my bones. i want to feel myself fading. i want to fall asleep and never wake up. and i know that’s fucking sick and i know i shouldn’t but i’ve gotten to a point where the only thing that’s stopping me is the thread of hope of some bullshit promise i made to my best friend that this will be our year; that we’ll all make it through. i knew it was bullshit when i said it. on the 1st of september i’m stopping eating & stopping any and all attempts at recovery. i’m going off my meds. i’m buying more long sleeved tops. i’m getting a debit card and buying more blades. i’m buying lax. a part of my brain fucking screams at me for even wanting to but goddammit my life has been reduced to wanting to be thinner and wanting to die. i can’t even do what i want on my own fucking blogs anymore without feeling guilty & judged & disgusting. i’d give anything to be fucking normal. i know i’m a dumbass piece of shit and i should just die out and get it over with but i’ve decided now that i’m gonna just give up. i want to give up. all these blogs mean nothing anymore. this used to be a safe place & now it’s a source of endless anxiety and downright fear because i’m so fucking conscious of being judged. i can fucking feel everyone hating me. i can feel every word crawl under my skin and burrow into my heart and reside there. i can feel you hating & judging & laughing & talking. i fucking hate it. i want it to stop. i want to give up. i’m gonna give up. fuck recovery once and for all hahahahahahaha.

[diiinky-blog]

okay, so, i think i’m gonna log out of this account. i’ve realised literally 0% of the people following me here actually give a shit about me and ( compared to the 1-2% of people on my other 3 blogs who care ) i need to prioritise as best i can. i have had no notes on this account for over a month, before i left the account. it’s upsetting me quite a bit and i’m realistically too fragile right now to be online here. i’m sorry, but seriously, i don’t know if i’m even ever going to come back so. <3

[diiinky-blog]

okay, so, i think i’m gonna log out of this account. i’ve realised literally 0% of the people following me here actually give a shit about me and ( compared to the 1-2% of people on my other 3 blogs who care ) i need to prioritise as best i can. i have had no notes on this account for over a month, before i left the account. it’s upsetting me quite a bit and i’m realistically too fragile right now to be online here. i’m sorry, but seriously, i don’t know if i’m even ever going to come back so. <3

[diiinky-blog]

bunnyfxfx.

( sms ; cute as heck will break your neck. ) fuck that come over right the f rick now ok we’re going ot watch the h ell out of this.  ( sms ; cute as heck will break your neck. ) no i like mickey. also they never sold pluto tv’s ok. u try again. 

( sms. the one with all the fish. ) i didn’t have a childhood don’t u judge me ( sms. the one with all the fish. ) u want me to bring anything ? ( sms. the one with all the fish. ) popcorn ... nachos ... other movies ... an axe ... ( sms. the one with all the fish. ) they should have. pluto was believably stupid. the rest had the personalities of rocks.

[diiinky-blog]

diipdyed.

                       ❛  ri-i-i-igh’                                       bu’ jus’ ONE  f’ing :  th’ waiters an’ shi’ are students. like                            th’ ones tha’ are twats an’ very bitter about workin’  on  a                            friday nigh’. basically – ya’ couldn’ pay me to risk eatin th’                                                         food they’re carryin’ ‘round y’know ?  ❜

     ‘ oh. fuck.                  this is a fuckin’ joke. this was a mistake. i could be sitting            at home right now, drinking vodka &&  petting  dogs, but i decided           to come to the place where all artists DIE. ‘            that said, eilis’ usual form of ARTWORK doesn’t exactly      use PAINT, in the conventional sense, does it ?

[diiinky-blog]

diipdyed.

     ‘ i’m just here for the free food. the actual subject matter is bullshit. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

adoriia.

     that smile’s fucking SHIT EATING.            ‘ oh, i wish i could fucking kill you. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

bunnyfxfx.

     ‘ i dunno what sort of life you’ve been livin’, but  POPCORN  is  THE  WORST      MOVIE SNACK. gets stuck in your teeth, is loud as FUCK. chocolate though ?      like, nine-hundred percent is much fuckin’ better. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

bunnyfxfx.

( sms ; all contacts ) watching the lion king on my mickey mouse tv is the most punk rock thing to ever happen. 

( sms. the one with all the fish. ) i’ve never seen it.  ( sms. the one with all the fish. ) but mickey ? mickey’s vanilla at best.  ( sms. the one with all the fish. ) try again with pluto.

[diiinky-blog]

bunnyfxfx.

❝  CUTIE-PIE, I got two puppies,       Cocoa & Mercury. Super sweet.  ❞

     ‘ no, i mean, like ... PUPPIES, y’know ? like a puppy party.      where they can all ... climb on you, and shit.         just saying. i’ve got an unlimited supply of cute, fluffy things. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

pissyghost.

    honey-hued eyes shift back and forth from the girl’s bag and her     own feet. pursing her lips to the side, she cants her head and     raises a dirty blonde eyebrow at the mention of chocolate.

          ‘ the m&ms…i’ll take those. i got some sour patch kids if you’re           lookin’ for repayment or something. & i work at the convenience           store at the corner of aubrey and standish, so if ya want you can           stop by & pick somethin’ up. ‘

     ‘ all due respect, but ... this isn’t an exchange. ‘           nails, filed to precision curves, move to scratch at an odd           itch on her nose, before digging dainty  little  fingers            through  everything  in  her bag to find the damn m&ms           && practically chuck them at the girl.      ‘ it’s you, or a dustbin. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

allayton.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so certain of that.”

       Animals, after all, were far more appreciate of kindness                             than humans. A dog considered walkies to be a gift from                   God.

                                 The inspector leant his lean, six-foot-one frame over the counter,                            a film of irritation and impatience veiling a pair of golden eyes that were,                               perhaps under different circumstances, beautiful in their own regard.

“If there’s something that can be done, by all means, do it.”

     ‘ i would. ‘           because it is, to her. it is fucking homicide inducing. everything is.            the  tiniest  fucking  thing  sets  her  off,  makes  her want to drag a           fucking knife through someone’s chest. but she holds her  hands  up            in surrender, turns around, throws open drawers here &&  there just            searching. pathetically. just for splints && bandages.      ‘ fuckin’ hell mate, alright. i’ll fix his wing. d’you want me to give      him a fucking lollipop while i’m at it ? ‘

[diiinky-blog]

                         with every breath you take,                                    you’re DYING.

[diiinky-blog]

bunnyfxfx.

❝  FUCK BLOOD, I wanna think about puppies, alright?  ❞

     ' RIGHT. would it help if you had an actual puppy ? ‘cause that      can be arranged, really quite easily. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

itisacorpsewholovesyou.

“I must admit that being a ‘masked serial killer’ loses some of its aura of mystique when one must wear a mask for medical reasons.”

     ‘ yeah, but ‘least your mask’s physical. i’ve spent  nearly      twenty years pretending to be cute && sweet && fuckin'       ... fuckin’ perfect. you don’t have to pretend. ‘

[diiinky-blog]

bunnyfxfx.

❝  GO AWAY, ‘m meditating on      nice things, not blood for once.  ❞

     ‘ PATTI. blood is a nice thing. are you ill ? ‘

[diiinky-blog]

okay but i’m cute as fuck and u can’t fucking stop me 

Keep reading