dilfsimulator

[dilfsimulator]

@gildead @emptyzone

Pinches Gold and Boyfriends cheeks.

❝ Thanks for wearing the shirt I got you two ~ ❞

[dilfsimulator]

❝ Haha, nah. Can't fight now. I'm waiting for my nails to dry. ❞ She wiggled all of her digits to drive the point home. It's true - they did narrowly escape! It took a lot of her strength to fight off the other's abilities. Her expression doesn't change, but she does take a hop back while examining her nails. Hm.

❝ LOOK, ❞ She snapped her head towards him again. ❝ There's a LOT of humans out there. Some good, some bad. Some in between ... ❞

❝ I know I can't stop you from your little feast. ❞ She began tapping her foot. ❝ MAYBE not even at all! But at least learn the difference between good and bad, 'kay? Boyfriend and Gold are good people. ❞

She whipped out her phone and began typing ... something. After a few more moments of scrolling, she presented a small list for Hypno. ❝ And I've got a list of bad people for you to do whatev's to. Mostly a buncha guys that bugged me but I'm too lazy to do anything 'bout. Is that a fair trade? ❞ She wiggled her phone one more time, before putting it away. ❝ A whole list of dinners to leave those two alone? ❞

He just… watches as she skips a circle around him, irritably. It’s incredible how she just. Ignored his insult. It really just irritated him even more.

Which is why he was surprised at her implied threat. She barely escaped him last time, why was she being so brave now? All for Gold? All for any human?

‘ Is that all you came to do? To waste your breath? ’ He raised an eyebrow, ‘ Why waste your time on something so pointless? They just turn on you if they decide that you aren’t worth their time. ’

He thought it was funny that she was threatening him, to be honest. Especially after what happened before! It was like she wanted round two!

‘ I went easy on you last time. Are you wanting another fight, or is something else up? ’

[dilfsimulator]

@tetramulti || continued.

❝ Haha, yeah. The BIGGEST baby. Glad you're seeing the picture, here. ❞ It's hard to tell if she knew that was supposed to be an insult or not - gazing up at Hypno like the world's weirdest creature. Girlfriend was always amused by how convincing her human disguise seemed to be. To the point where other entities like her couldn't figure it out.

When questioned about her method of entry. She just shrugged. Oh, you know.

❝ I like lots of soft things. ❞ Girlfriend's heels would click upon the ground as skipped a circle around Hypno. ❝ Cookies. Marshmallows. Pillows. Pajamas. ❞ She took her last, loudest step and pivoted towards the Pokemon again. ❝ ... Mortals. ❞

Yes, yes. Gold was dead. Couldn't get through a conversation without him mentioning that. The point is, he was alive. A human being.

And if Hypno was dead-set on hating humanity ...

❝ Leeeeeet's just say I may become a problem if you don't stop. ❞

[dilfsimulator]

❝ Welp. Sorry, daddy. I tried my best! But I guess other demons aren't interested. Can I go hang out with Boyfriend now? ❞

SMASHES HIS FACE THROUGH THE WALL.

[dilfsimulator]

mdm ! girlfriend.

independent portrayal of Monday Dusk Monolith Girlfriend. | dark themes ,

18 yr old writer , semi-literature , sensitive content like: gore & murder shit or idk.

account ran by dusk ✦ .

warning: fnf corruption mod spoilers , WRITER TALKS ABOUT IT ALOT , IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM . DO NOT INTERACT WITH THE POSTS!

RULES

OOC

DNIs.

ABOUT.

[dilfsimulator]

@thebananwithaplan || no brainer ...

...Cue the loudest frown on planet earth. She squinted at the cherry duo.

❝ Actually - no, you know what? Pause on this. No. Hang on a sec, 'kay? ❞ Girlfriend pushed herself off the podium, walked towards the center of the stage. She was DEFINITELY not allowed to get away with it, but her pride was at stake here. How dare anyone but her boyfriend imply she was stupid.

And - sorry, Banana - she swiped the microphone from the game host's hands.

❝ Would you care to repeat that. Directly to my face. ❞ Girlfriend stared up at the pair that were quietly snickering as the show went on. ❝ Because I got a mansion and a limo that says you two don't know how to appreciate what a cute, SMART and #### girl looks like. ❞

[dilfsimulator]

❝ Heehee, you can't if you're poor ! ❞ Wow. Way to put it bluntly, Girlfriend. Her head turned entirely towards Gold, almost as if she were driving out of ... instinct? We'll just. Call it that so it sounds less dangerous. ❝ Daddy's not really okay with it but ... Mama distracts him long enough for me to get away with it. ❞

As for what that distraction entailed? Well. The kid didn't need to know.

Another swerve caused her to focus back on the road. She could have sworn she heard someone shouting this time, but eh. What's there to worry about. They're off to PASTA NIGHT!

❝ Just, uh. Don't try without a license, okay? I don't want you getting in trouble. ❞ She reached a hand over to pinch of his cheeks. ❝ You're too cute for that. Plus I think, like, your dad might kill me if he knew. ❞

Not that she could die, but. You know. She doesn't want her pretty face ruined.

Finally, some real music. Gold wasn't exactly sure what was with these Pokémon trainers these days, with their Toby Fox Homestuck mpreg rock opera remixes and their Hoenn trumpets blasting all over the place. Sometimes, the classics were all that mattered. Even if said classics somehow made little kids ill.

He's got to thank GF for being so generous with the aux chord, especially considering what happened the last time he asked his driver about the radio. Gold turns to do so-

HOOOOOOOONK.

Gold's slammed against the back of his seat as GF steps on the gas, breaking over 80 miles per hour. If it weren't for his seatbelt, he could have easily been flung right into the backseat like a sack of potatoes. Maybe Hypno had a point about using that booster seat, considering how small he was...

Eh, whatever, it was fine. He's thirteen anyway, and it's not like he can die again.

...Wait, what did she say about-?

"I thought... you couldn't drive without-?" He looks over, sleeves clinging to his seatbelt. "And your dad's okay with that-?!"

"I can't even drive legally-!"

[dilfsimulator]

the FNF devs were so fucking funny by confirming basically every character is a fucking dumbass. especially boyfriend and girlfriend.

[dilfsimulator]

❝ …'Course we can, kiddo! Blast it as loud as you want, we're off to a party! ❞ After clicking her own seat belt, she struggled with a few buttons on the car radio to put on the only thing that two abominations that roam the Earth could POSSIBLY jam out to.

Ah. Yes. Are you down with the Lavender-induced sickness yet.

...Man, screw all the other sitters who couldn’t handle this kid. Was it because he was a little spooky? She forgot that mortals could have a weak stomach at times. Thank Lucifer her TOTALLY cool, buff, handsome, hot and sexy boyfriend ... Boyfriend wasn’t like that! She scored.

Her attention was snapped back to the road as a loud car horn honked next to them. Right. Babysitting. She gazed at the speedometer. Nice! She's going twenty-five miles over the speed limit while harshly swerving in-between cars. Come to think of it, isn't this a new car from last time? AND the time before?

❝ Y’know, I should really get my license. Daddy's getting tired of replacing his car. He said I'd get my own once I do. ❞

Ah.

@dilfsimulator asked:

" You got everything you need for Pasta Night? " Girlfriend asked, carefully buckling the ghost boy into her passenger seat. Good boys get to ride in the front! " Didn't forget anything? "

Bowtie? Check. 'HI' balloons? Check. Pack of UNO cards stashed away in his hoodie? Check!

Then it's about time to get over to the spookiest monthly get-together there is.

Gold gives his babysitter the biggest nod he can manage, followed by a wide grin. He's not planning on putting down the illusion keeping him relatively intact until after they get there, so for now his sleeves flop on either side of the shotgun seat.

He waits for Girlfriend to climb in before turning to her with one question in mind.

"Can we turn on the radio...?"

[dilfsimulator]

HOOOOOOOOOLY SMOKES THIS BLOG STILL HAS THE LEGACY EDITOR!? ITS BEEN FIFTY FUCKING YEARS

[dilfsimulator]

so i'm just sitting in the void one day, minding my own business. and my day's already been really crappy, so i'm not looking so hot. then all of a sudden this annoying dude with blue hair shows up. he's really noisy and obnoxious, and he keeps making noise everywhere.

so i hit him with my trademark greeting.

and what does he do? he starts BEATBOXING at me.

now i'm starting to get kinda irritated with this guy. so i say 'hey. get out of my house.' but he keeps on beep boop bopping.

'HEY, STUPIDHEAD.' now i'm yelling. 'GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.' does he stop? nope. just keeps on going.

'IDIOT. I'M TALKING TO YOU. GET. OUT. OF MY HOUSE.' i don't think i've ever shouted at someone this much in my life. but this guy. he just. won't. stop.

so finally, i decide i want no more of this guy. time to go full throttle. i rip off my head. 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.' now i'm really screaming. if my voice wasn't shot before, it definitely is now. 'I HAVE TOLD YOU THREE TIMES NOW TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. AND YET YOU ARE STILL IN MY HOUSE, WITH YOUR BLUE HAIR AND PRONOUNS AND GLOWING POKEBALLS AND UGLY T-SHIRT YOU GOT FROM HOT TOPIC. LEAVE ME ALONE, HOLY CRAP.'

it was then he finally apologized and realized the error of his way and left hAHAHA NO I'M KIDDING OF COURSE HE JUST KEPT ON GOING.

so i just kinda shrieked incoherently in his face until he got the message and bounced.

❝ Yeah, nah, the brat's extremely mentally deficient... I've been trying to kill him for a while, but the fucker ain't dying. I'll get better at it. ❞

❝ Daddy. ❞

Pushes Girlfriend out of frame. ❝ 'nyway, if you kill the fucker before me you'll get a nice handsome paycheck. Good luck out there, soldier. ❞

[dilfsimulator]

the creepypasta fuckers better not make me come back here. i have an egg shaped man to write ...

[dilfsimulator]

this is the wrong rhythm game.

[dilfsimulator]

oddcollection​:

  “Heights?” He casually replied, trying not to let out a stupid squeak as her grip on him is held tighter. Haha. His girlfriend is so silly. She’s probably gonna… Well. He didn’t know, she was unpredictable. That’s a reason why she liked her– For better or worse, at this point.

 “Pshh. It’s just gravity and all, I’m not scared of em.” I mean, there’s always like. A railing to keep you safe and stuff, as long as you’re not stupid, you should be fine around ‘dangerous areas’.

“ Gotcha, hot stuff! ” How brave! She had the strongest human partner in the entire world. Even with all his squeaks, beeps, and how she cradled him in her arms he was still like her knight in shining armor. “ Then you’re about to see something reeeeeeeally cool. ” And pretty, even if its about to absolutely terrify Boyfriend at first.

Her speed had become unnatural at this point and a small familiar glint of her could be spotted. i sure hope you trust her with your life, Boyfriend, because she has shot into the air with sprouted wings and the most smug phase on her phase. Surprise! She can fly, and she wants to show you the world.

“ Isn’t this, like, the coolest. ” She said as normal as the morning sun.

[dilfsimulator]

[dilfsimulator]

Daddy dearest woke up today and chose violence

[dilfsimulator]

Given that GF has horns and will apparently be getting wings, it is safe to assume her parents also share these features! Obviously, they’re just holding them back.