dillpicklepanic

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Beauty Sleep - Rachel Parker

American , b. ?

Watercolour on paper , 10 x 12 in.

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These Jezebel commenters are right and they should say it

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Fanfiction writers be like:

"here's the immensely time consuming 100K word novel-length passion project I'm working on between my real life job and family! It eats up hundreds of hours of my one and only life, causes me emotional harm, and I gain basically nothing from it! Also I put it on the internet for free so anyone can read if they want. Hope you love it!" :)

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Yukari Inoue - Distortion - Noda Chiba, 2024 - Oil on Canvas

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hello tumblr dot com

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Front row Marc Jacobs 2001

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drawing people i see in the city (41/?)

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Ooooh Gambit?

(my fave X men fellow but is this something else?)

Gambit was a Reylo fic I wrote for NaNoWriMo. It has good bones but needs soooo much work. I'm planning on starting over for this year's NaNo (and probably switching fandoms).

It's a sci-fi/mystery.

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I can't wait for this one 😭

plllllssss tell us about this one:

Azkaban Hospital (for the criminally insane)

🤤🤤🤤🤤

Tagging @katsitting and @clavasbalas because they asked the same.

Azkaban Hospital is a fic I will eventually write and gift to @auroratellsstories.

It’s a choose your own bangventure inspired by @dillpicklepanic’s choose your own adventure tomione. (She’s also agreed to help me if I need it—I will lmao)

Hermione will become an orderly at a hospital with psych patients who have been convicted of violent crimes. (Got the idea from shutter island)

There will be four pairings: Tomione, Sirimione, Antomione, Bartmione (depends on what path you choose)

•Doctor Riddle got caught doing some shady shit and was committed

•Sirius Black was committed because of brutally killing his best friend and his family

•Antonin Dolohov tortured prisoners of war so he is ex military 😩😩🔥🔥

•Barty’s father send him there because he thought his son was mad and didn’t want him to taint his run for a political campaign

Here’s a graphic I made and a lil outline and some fancast for the first chapters.

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Tell me about Runoff >>

That's the apocalypcest Tomione fic (Uncle/niece). I'm really struggling with it at the moment because I've somehow lost my characterizations. But we'll get there.

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aaaaa, give us Dr. Riddle's Monster!!!

Okay so I had this idea last Halloween and idk if I will ever get to it (I hope I do). Below the bar I’ll show what I have and it’s basically the whole plot. It’s me telling @nofear-x the idea lmao

It’s a retelling of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein but make it Tomione lmao

Frankenstein AU

My idea:

where Dr.Riddle makes a monster using snake parts (Voldemort) and Hermione is like his fiancé and the one that helps him kinda figure out how to do it except she doesn’t know he goes to some kind of witch that takes a piece of his soul to give to the monster and that’s what makes him ALIVE lmao

And the monster is gonna cause Tom and Hermione problems because he’s lonely and he wants Dr Riddle to make him a companion but Tom regrets making him so he tries to ignore him till one day he wakes up and the monster is next to Hermione’s side of the bed (cuz he does have a piece of Tom’s soul and Tom loves Hermione so the monster does as well 😭) so he’s just staring at her sleeping and Tom is like oh shit! so he agrees to make him a companion. the monster says he already has the pieces to make her and it’s literally a bunch of dead girls that resemble Hermione 💀 anyway while Riddle is making her he stops because he doesn’t want to take a piece of Hermione’s soul or anyone’s soul to make another monster, so he dumps the female monster in a lake. the monster is furious and curses Riddle telling him to enjoy his wedding night because it will be the last day he is happy

On the night of his wedding Riddle accepts his fate, makes love to his now wife,Hermione, and waits till she’s asleep to meet the monster. When he never shows Riddle hears screaming and runs upstairs the monster has killed Hermione and takes her away and makes her a monster just like him ….

The End 🧐

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'Cause I'm Hungry for answers, how about you tell me about Lunch Break

<3 Bun

Lunch Break is a fic for pepper!! It features Tom as the manager of a failing office supply store and Hermione as the spunky goth brat who annoys the shit out of him and sticks gum under his chair.

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Cavity searching sounds fun 👀 Also tough_it_out??? i don't know why, but the underscore... 👀 ...please share with the rest of the class, miss pickle 👀

The Cavity Searches fic is for the TV show Severence!! I play into the rule that they're not allowed to pass any messages off the floor they work on. Smut ensues.

tough_it_out is a gift fic I wrote for Zaf that'll be posted after Callout is done. It features Tom as a smarmy daytrader and some revenge dubcon/noncon.

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Chat bot diary 🤔 tell me more 🙏

Hehehe, I changed the plot of Chatbot Tom like 1301293 times. But this is the one I actually wrote and enjoyed, so that’s the version I’m sharing with you guys! (Also, full disclosure: I don’t really understand how AI works, and my law background does not include the UK, also I know next to nothing about criminal law.)

"Take a seat, Miss,” Hester instructed, dropping the pile of papers onto John Bartlett’s cluttered desk. Hermione nodded, frowning at the man’s earlier words.

“We’ve got an interesting one here. Not going to lie to you, it’s a dead end at present. A fifteen-year-old girl, missing. Risk assessment: high. No leads, no motives, no clue, really, save for her web history and a possible fight with her boyfriend. He’s our main suspect, naturally, but I’ll be damned if I can find a motive strong enough to pin this on the lad. He’s a football player—”

Hermione scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t give me that look, Miss,” Bartlett chided. “Everyone we’ve spoken to says the same thing: he wouldn’t have done it. There’s nothing on him except—”

“I’m sorry, sir, but violence against women is often insidious. Just because he isn’t seen as an abuser doesn’t mean he isn’t one. More often than not, victims don’t report it, or don’t even recognize themselves as victims of domestic—”

“I take your point, Miss,” he interrupted, his tone measured. “That’s precisely why Parkinson saw fit to assign this case to your office. Between us, though, I don’t believe this is domestic violence.”

Hester’s fingers skimmed through part of the file.

“The boyfriend hasn’t been uncooperative. In fact, if anything, he’s becoming a bit of a nuisance. Keeps turning up at the station, asking for updates. Ah, where did I put—? Here we are.”

He pulled out a report, his expression sharpening with interest.

“Digital Forensics flagged something curious. Have a look.”

He handed her the report, a stack of pages detailing the missing girl’s computer browsing history. One URL, highlighted in fluorescent marker, appeared repeatedly alongside occasional Google searches.

http://7drlvd3.com/r0lm0

Hester flipped through to the end, where the conclusions were outlined. Also highlighted, the forensic verdict read:

"Network traffic is one-way; no active WebSockets or WebRTC detected; language patterns and response times remain constant. Therefore, the site does not function as an open chat. Instead, it appears to be an unregistered artificial intelligence."

“AI? You’re telling me the secondary suspect is a robot?”

“The primary suspect remains the boyfriend, Miss,” Hester said dryly. “Unless your investigation turns up something different. The case is yours.”

“Have you questioned the boyfriend properly?”

“Yes. But he’s more than willing to go through another round of questioning if needed.”

“When was Ginevra Weasley last seen?”

“I believe she’s been missing for—” Hester checked his wristwatch, “33 hours by now.”

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I wanna ask you about Rainmaker (in the hopes that we get a sneak peek) and the Chatbot fic!

Ok, so i've just answered another Chatbot fic related question (https://www.tumblr.com/clavasbalas/786816208633757696/chat-bot-diary-tell-me-more?source=share)

I am planning to update the Rainmaker tomorrow!

Here's a lil sneakpeek:

"The awareness of unconsciousness is a curious thing.

Hermione has a vague sense of having woken up, of having heard the murmur of a distant vibration, the cold ceramic of some toilet seat pressed against her buttocks. Warm water rinsing her hair. At times, she thinks she can hear her mother playing a melody she never knew the name of. The tapping of piano keys, the restless, living movement of people in the room. She knows she’s being cared for, and maybe she did manage to open her eyes at some point, or maybe her hyperactive mind tried to shape the sounds that come and go —but she thinks she sees giant shadows rising around her body, leaning over her like a test subject.

“What were you doing there?”

“I swear, sir, I didn’t—”

“You know you’re not supposed to leave—!”

“Not here, no! Not in front of the girl, can’t you see she’s listening?”

She hears a groan, unaware that it’s she who’s groaning.

“Come on, let’s go to the other room.”

The door closes. Whoever had been watching over her is gone. 

The cold she felt begins to fade, chased away by the warmth she’s used to. The shadows that had risen around her dissolve, turn into fire, the furious red of a day either beginning or ending. 

Soft skin trails across her abdomen. 

It moves down her legs, gliding through. The touch is cold, yes, but still too warm to be a snake. It slithers across her skin with the skill of a lover. Her breath catches, and she contracts her legs in a spasm of pleasure. Touch me, she thinks, please. The forked tongue brushes lightly over the cotton of her underwear, and she could swear that this skin, this tongue, becomes hands —long, pale fingers tracing her pubic bone, outlining the sides of her lips —not pressing, but lightly caressing— teasing her underwear down…

A thunderclap crashes against the earth.

A pair of hands grabs her by the shoulders.

And the whole town burns."

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What’s Garbage Draft 2 🤔

It's an original work that I tried to write twice and flunked both times. I'll probably cannibalize it for a fanfic someday.

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