dina17moonlight-blog

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“If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should pursue it.”

— Erada

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Since none of my friends knows about my account ,I would like to post this picture here , so I can come in every time and cheak it out.

It seems a normal picture I know.

But at that moment , with his body stuck into mine I had a beautiful flashback of all the things we've said and shared.

We made a lot of memories in a short period of time.

That's why i would like to call him the pit stop.

I was his pit stop and he was never mine.

I let myself fall for him so bad that it consumed me entirely.

I liked him a lot when I witnessed the way his mind works.

I can tell he used to like me too.

But something suddenly stoped and i watched him losing interest in me every single day.

It was so hard for me to not think about him when he was sitting behind me.

I don't know what I did wrong, but i do understand if he doesn't want me anymore.

I totally understand his will of keeping his distance with someone like me.

If I was him i would do the same.

What hurts the most is that i deserve better I know I do.

But I can't unsee how close we grow and how fun it was. I can't ignore how hard he made me laugh and how attached I got.

Losing him terrified me.

He gave me so many mixed signals and I don't know what came through my mind and kept me up at night looking for gifts and small things to give to him when he never gave me anything.

I settled for less i know.

Got used to him when he was just playing games with me.

Even though he's not the type to be a coward but I guess he is.

He was my first heart "pain" not break.

He didn't broke me. I did it to myself.

And as I said before i totally understand him for not wanting me back .

But the question that kept me up is how dare him?

How can someone be ao cruel all of a sudden? I was being myself when I genuinely gave him everything that I thought he may like to have.

And i guess over giving is the reason behind all this damage.

I wrote a lot about this dude over there and he was worth every word I wrote.

Here'a to the first guy to find a reason to hold my hand.

The first guy to stay up texting me and making me laugh

The first guy to be worried about me.

THe first guy that i ever met who liked Abel as much as i do.

The first guy to make me blush. The first to like my nail polish and the first to play with my hair and touch my face.

I am trying my best to end things very well with him. And I want him to know that I never tried to be his girlfriend or anything.

He just came out of a relationship and I totally understand if he s not ready to go through something else.

And I know I am not the right person for him and he'a not my person.

As much as it hurts to say It, but I should set him free. I have to let him go.

I HAVE TO.

But he always have a special place in my heart , just because I want to.

We leave this town sooner or later and I am glad that a lot of spots here reminds me of you.

Thank you for being the friend of my late night questions.

Thank you for walking with me when It was raining cats and dogs.

Thank you for teaching me that you never receive what you give. Never

Thank you for convincing me that feelings do change and people do grow apart.

Thank you for being my new midnights and peacfull evenings.

My early sunrise and my breathtaking sunset.

You taught me so much without even trying .

You took me to a wonderful storm that i followed you in , without thinking if i 'll ever make out it alive.

You made me believe in the poor soul of mine so many times.

You took me up, made me feel powerful.

I never knew how much I needed you until you opened up for me.

you taught me how dream .

You taught me how to love. When nobody ever could.

I have to stand up for myself and for you and apologize for so many things.

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“When she needed help most, she was abandoned—and only when she offered help to others was she beloved.”

— Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook (via books-n-quotes)

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I had no thoughts at all, just an overwhelming desire not to feel anything ever again

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“Hearts don’t shatter they rot”

— Morgan Rublee, in the absence of the sun

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from weheartit

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there comes a time when you’ll have to stop basing your morals on the laws of society because not all of these laws are meant to protect the vulnerable people but to exploit

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“Silence gives you cosmic power”

S.S.K

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do you ever have a conversation in your head and you actually do a facial expressions that would fit this conversation but then you realize how weird this must look to someone who doesn’t know you’re acting out a whole scenario in your head

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i used to ask for specific signs all the time from the universe but she doesn’t do that. i don’t think she’s going to follow a little person’s rules. you’ve got to listen to her. quiet parts of yourself that are full of friction, irrational fears, negative thinking. sit with nothing. live in this and let things come to you. let her speak the way she’s gonna speak. she’s got a lot to say to you and she’s saying it every day. 

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“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.”

— Maya Angelou (via minuty)

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“You have to really be broken in order to be a poet. It’s a very bad thing to tell a young person, but it’s true. Poetry comes out of all the places where you break.”

— Alice Notley, from an interview conducted c. October 2015 (via violentwavesofemotion)