dino-egg-oatmeal - Tumblr blog

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Please I want him to be okay

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Neil Josten moodboard

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when 'its time to get out of bed and be the starchild I can be' and then 'I guess it's time to put that to bed. I guess it's time to let the dead be dead' is anybody even LISTENING TO ME???

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Warren, laying in bed between hypersleeps: “it’s always teddy bear’s picnic. what about teddy bear’s break from it all. or teddy bear’s long talk with a qualified therapist. why always ‘teddy bear’s psychological torment’ instead?”

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started listening to red valley today. i loved this man’s wife. and it turns out she was his wife in the same way a racing dog’s owner is his family. goddamnit.

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I just... he had a little sister that he loved more than anything. he followed thea around like a lost little duckling. he was in love with his best friend and it almost destroyed him. he uses pain to both punish himself and stave off panic attacks. he survived five years of brutal torture and abuse by the skin of his teeth. his parents sold him. his little sister is dead. he wants to burn the house down. he cannot cook or shop for himself. he hates his old teammates. he loves his old teammates. he quite possibly loves his new teammates even more. he frets for the safety of people he barely knows. he's terrified of water, of being bitten, of being hurt again. he laughed when his worst abuser was dethroned and beaten and then tried to kill himself in solidarity.

he's finding reasons to live, day by day, one step at a time. a cool evening breeze, rainbows, open roads, friends.

he is jean moreau. he knows his place. he will endure.

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neil’s insistence on hiding his scars for as long as possible bc he knows it’s not normal and the foxes Will stare and ask questions vs jean just stripping in front of the trojans bc he expects his teammates to ignore his abuse since it isn’t their business... neil flinching from wymack's loud voice bc he doesnt trust men old enough to be his father vs jean holding his racquet out for rhemann to hit him after "failing" to do what he said he would do because he expects to be beaten to a pulp by his superiors and because "contrition, coach"... it makes me sick!!! i need to wrap them up in a warm blanket forever

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Jonathan Sims • The Archivist

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tsc sketches, I missed these books ahhh

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I can't wait for Jean to tell Kevin "have a winning day" before smacking the ball out of his net and sending it to Jeremy.

Can you imagine the violence???

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in monkey man when dev patel makes the final confrontation he asks "do you know my mother's name? do you know any of their names?" and that's when it hit me...his character has no name and we've gone the entire movie without him ever identifying himself that way. when you give up a part of yourself for a righteous cause, losing his name so he can fully embody hanuman...yeah this movie is so good

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I really want Jean to have a moment where he truly gets over his complicated feelings for Kevin. To accept that things were fucked because there was no other option. That Kevin still cares deeply for him even if he doesn't see Jean that way.

I also want Jean to text Kevin "Had sex with your crush. Die mad about it" and not elaborate.

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RED VALLEY WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS GOING ON IM LOSING MY SHIT

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I see your "mr bonzo is stalking alice" and I raise you "we've already heard about one person who went exploring the magnus institute ruins and started to feel really paranoid afterwards. it didn't end very well for them."

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I love that Jeremy’s thought process is literally: oh we Trojans don’t suppress our anger it’s healthy to express your feelings! Except me :) I’ll keep all my problems buried so deep only the very edges poke out :) have you met my cardboard dog yet?

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jean, waking up barely alive and unable to move in some stranger's house, haunted by the memories of abuse and torture, having an identity crisis: this is where my parents died, raphael

jeremy, waking up early on a saturday morning, sneaking out of his rich parents' mansion to go to the coffee shop, do charity, and go see his friends: cowabunga!