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"Why the- We've been in this thing for five seconds, and there's a thing?" -Dan Howell

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"Shit!- I mean- No, that's exactly what I mean" -Dan Howell

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P: They should make a spinoff [of X-men] of just dogs with superpowers. I'd watch it

D: *with so much fondness in his voice* That sounds like the worst idea ever

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P: I've been spending the week perfecting my meow

D: Go on then

P: *meows*

D: That's pretty good

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"For all the young aspiring evil geniuses out there: Don't Monologue, okay? You can vlog about it afterwards, not during. Someone's just gonna deactivate you" -Dan Howell

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P: I don't drink that much tea, to say I'm a British man

D: You're a traitor. You're a- You're a Coffee Pig

P: *laughs and looks at the camera* Shoutout to all the Coffee Pigs out there

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"I'm not kinkshaming this fish, are you?" -Dan Howell

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P: I felt like we were working so well together

D: Obviously our brain is just combined in a disturbing way that we didn't know was possible

P: It's combined to make a new brain

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"Use code DanAndPhil to tell your therapist who made you gay" -Dan Howell

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"I would not recommend eating glue, in any form" -Phil Lester

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D: Phil, say a sentence in French

P: Croissant

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D: We had a wild idea

P: Yes!- I don't know what the idea is, I've forgotten

D: It was so wild, Phil doesn't remember

P: What is the wild idea?

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"Is that creak upstairs a friendly serial killer, or the mean kind?" -Phil Lester

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D: You can't make a story about a mother and a daughter running a bakery without also having the Babadook throwing knives at them. To represent... the knife trauma

P: Can it not just be a nice story about a bakery?

D: No!

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D: It's more thrilling being Phil, it seems

P: Philling

D: Phthrilling

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D: Dost thou have a fucking problem?

P: *far more Northern than usual* Noo

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"Do you ever wonder how rocks just arrive in places?" -Phil Lester