dipityblog

[dipityblog]

Sorry mama, I have been really busy since I got back. Today is 4/1/23. I had a dream last week about you. You held a baby who I knew was mine and you were tickling her feet and making little happy noises together. I couldn’t tell if it was a girl or boy but they had brown curls. Maybe you are somewhere taking care of my future child. Your birthday is in a few days.

[dipityblog]

This morning Na came and picked me up right at 11am. She took me to the restaurant and asked me lots of questions that I didn’t feel like answering. I did my best not to cry. She isn’t a mother but she wished you were nicer to me. I know you were hard on me to make me strong.

Zeus took a nap with me from 2-6 and I had a dream that you were still alive. I don’t remember much but you seemed confused but happy I was there. I hope you were really there visiting me in my dreams.

[dipityblog]

Steve and I went to the galley today 2/26/23. When we got there we got parking right out front and as we walked in a seat was being wiped down for us. Steve said you did that for us. Usually you have to wait in line. He said this was a close first for your favorite place to eat. If you could you would eat here every morning you would eat corn beef hash with avocado, egg, and a mimosa. I had that today for you. The ladies there were not happy to see Steve walk in without you. They thought he was cheating on you with me lol. Unfortunately they learned the truth and it was much much worse.

Sometimes I can’t believe you’re gone. It doesn’t feel real. When it does and I feel like crying, I can’t. I have cried so much my body won’t let me keep crying. Everything is numb without you and I think of all the things you would tell me to do and I force myself to do them. I don’t wanna eat or sleep or anything without you here. I love you so much and I miss you always.

I stayed up late writing a paper so I can graduate as soon as possible like you wanted. Doing anything is hard. So this whole post is a day late. Im going to bed now since its 5am. Na wanted to see me today so lets see how that gos.

[dipityblog]

These were some if your favorite flowers. Steve’s mom sent them for you. On 2/22/23 you left us at 9:00pm sharp. What an auspicious day to choose to leave us. Steve said you were always on time too. Now I see 222 everywhere. Im looking for you always 💗