direfang

[direfang]

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

[direfang]

Can’t ever join the “they’re mean to me :(“ crowd, a character calls me a cunt and becomes a permanent party member

[direfang]

can you paypal me one ancient rusting coin

[direfang]

she took the pey wet in the divorce

[direfang]

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

[direfang]

add yours!

[direfang]

[direfang]

[direfang]

i need kissie i need hug. i need hundred thousand bug

[direfang]

Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food at all!

[direfang]

time to bring the Truman housing caps back:

[direfang]

I had a very young kid with a hereditary heart condition come in today to be seen. My colleague excitedly told him that I play “that ‘dungeons and dragons’ game just like you do!”

The kid deadpans me with “I DM for 8 people who keep splitting the party, I think that’s why I’m really here.”

Relatable, kid, relatable.

[direfang]

*first time using gay slang* you look like you're wearing a wig!! and you look like a cunt!!!

[direfang]

[direfang]

really enjoying all the videos Muslims have been posting of their cats looking like this

when the humans are up at 4 am for suhoor

[direfang]

hey did you know how big an albatross was because I

VERY

fucking

did not

[direfang]

my mother was a drunk, and my father was a brute, and on my 18th birthday, I will inherit her drinking gourd and his spiked greatclub, and become a drunken brute. I hope I can make them proud