dirtybtslover-blog - Tumblr blog

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honestly they still look beautiful 😂

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Im bringing sexy back

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oxygen, pls 💀

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Y!Jin - Okay so the shirts and fridges didn’t work?? How about this new development. I have successfully flushed your charger down the toilet, all of your laced up shoes now have no laces, and oopsie daisy, you only now have one sock from each pair. You will suffer with mismatched socks unless you free me.

All you’re succeeding to do is piss me off, Y/n. I’m warning you now to stop before you get the punishment you deserve for all of this. Trust me, it’ll only get worse. If you’re going to run around acting like a brat, I’m going to treat you like one.

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A/N: Joker x reader ft. Andy Dwyer

“J, can we go? These people are lame. This place is lame and I want to set it and myself on fire.”

J sighed from where he was doing his business deal, the confused looking men glancing between him and his girlfriend.

“Baby, I’m busy. And that’s not nice to say in front of people.” He chastised, wagging a finger at her but otherwise not telling her to apologize.

“Seriously. I want to leave.”

“Well, pumpkin you’re gonna have to wait.”

“…I’m breaking up with you if we don’t leave.” J chuckled. “You said you’d give me anything I want, and I want to leave.”

“It looks like we’re going to have to break up then.” He shook his head at the men. “Women, am I right boys?” They nervously chuckled with him while Y/N shrugged and left.

“‘Break up with me’ Ha! Crazy girl.”

…

Y/N sat at the bar, drinking shot after shot. She was bummed about her breakup, but in all honesty she thought dating a crime lord would be less boring. So far it’s just been business meetings where J pays no attention to her, treating her like a trophy wife.

A girl slides into the stool next to her, unabashedly raking her eyes over her figure.

“I love your dress. Where’d you get it?”

“I was buried in it.” Y/N brought the shot to her lips, looking the girl dead in the eyes. Her smile faded and she muttered something as she left.

“Y/N?” Her head turned towards the sound of her ex boyfriend/best friend, Andy Dwyer. He was not the brightest bulb in the box, but he had enough heart to make up for his lack of brains. “It’s so good to see you!” He engulfed her in a bear hug.

“You too. Tell me something, do you think I was a good girlfriend?” The question seemed to confuse him until his face lit up in recognition.

“That’s right! We totally dated.”

“Yep, lived together for 5 years too.”

“That’s crazy!” An idea popped in her head, clouded by the alcohol.

“Andy, look at me, look at me.” She smushed Andy’s face between her hands. “We should get married.”

“Uh, are you sure? That’s like a big step-”

“Andy, Andy we get tax breaks! And we can like, share a house and a car and oh my god! We can rekindle the romance! Like, the really awesome sex and stuff!”

“Y-yeah, Okay, I’m down.”

The next morning she woke up with a ring pop around her finger and her naked best friend in her bed.

“Huh.” She winced when she heard the front door being kicked open. “Ugh, fuck off!”

J barging in her bedroom was not what she expected to see. He was furious, snarling as he took in Andy’s form. When he approached him, probably to choke the life out of him, Y/N jumped in front of him.

“Hey! Hey! Leave my husband alone!”

“Y/N, sweetie, what do you think you’re doing cheating on me?”

“Andy’s my husband and we got married last night and- wait why aren’t you surprised I’m married? And we broke up!”

J shoved his phone in her face. Her eyes crossed for a minute before she focused on the video that started playing. It was filmed in her bedroom, and opened with her and Andy flipping off the camera.

“Heeeey, loser! Guess what! Guess what, you have to guess. I got married!” Andy gave the camera two thumbs up as she placed a loud, smacking kiss on his cheek. “I married my wonderful best friend, and I’m gonna go down on him so hard tonight, and we are gonna have sex-better sex than we ever did! See what you’re missing, loser.”

“Yeah!” Andy chimed in. “And we’re gonna get tax breaks!”

She watched her and Andy make out before the camera fell over.

“The hell did you think you were doing?” J looked hurt, his gun now pointed at Andy, who was still snoring.

“Wait! I- really wished I remembered what happened last night.” J snarled at her confession. “But this is your fault! Unlike someone, Andy actually paid attention to me.”

“He dies. And you’re coming back with me.”

“No! You don’t love me, you woulda came when I sent the video.”

“You stole my phone, Y/N and recorded it yourself. You threw it in my yard 2 hours ago after you TPed my house.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“Look, I just, felt like you weren’t paying attention to me. I thought you didn’t care what I wanted and, I guess I overreacted. Do you forgive me?”

“No. You’re coming to my house.”

“No. I’m not.” J sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Please.” He ground out through clenched teeth. “Please, take me back. I promise to be a better boyfriend than I have been.” J still glared at Andy’s body.

“Yeah, okay. Can we have a threesome sometime though?” His glare turning on her made her grumble. “Andy! Wake up, I’m divorcing you.” She threw the ring pop in the trash.

“Wha? Do I still get tax breaks?”

Y/N pulled J out of the house. She sighed when she felt his tense muscles.

“We didn’t sleep together. I remember that. We fell asleep after we made out.”

“Good for you.” J grumbled, staring out the window.

“I’m sorry, but I fully believed that we broke up last night.” He finally looked at her, offended.

“You think I’d let you go that easily?”

“Well you certainly didn’t seem to care.” She gasped as he pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply.

“Marry me.”

“Hmm. I’ll have to think about it. Yes.” Y/N smiled as he purred into their kiss, before pulling away. “Can we invite Andy over sometime for a threesome?”

“…Maybe.”

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The Mighty Chocolate Bar

(So I tried something new. I tried a writing prompt because I didn’t know what I wanted to write. The prompt link is:  https://pin.it/dezxanvoapw5jx I hope you enjoy my shitty writing.) Running around the house is something you and your daughter do on a daily basis. That’s at least the situation until her father gets home. Whenever he gets home he takes over. He’ll be the one playing hide and seek with her while you get get to soak in a bathtub filled with warm water. But until then, you have to keep her entertained. “Blythe! Give me back my chocolate bar!” You yell out to your daughter. She giggles, “No! I’m hungry!” Blythe yells back, now hiding somewhere in her room. “You just ate lunch though.” You reply as you enter her room panting. Man she’s fast. “I’m still hungry.” You hear her say from inside the closet. “Well I’m sorry about that pumpkin but,” you open the the closet door, “mommy’s hungry too.” You say holding out your hand, signaling for her to give you back the chocolate bar. Blythe hands back the chocolate bar with a pout. “How about I get you some cookies instead?”  Blythe eagerly nods, the corner of her lips twitching up, threatening to break out into a smile. Walking back to the kitchen the front door unlocks. Crouching down you tell Blythe to go in the pantry and get the cookies from the bottom shelf. Nodding Blythe walks to the pantry. After telling Blythe where to find the golden brown pastry you place the chocolate bar on the ledge of one of the shelves in the bookshelf. Nothing will knock it down, surely, nothing will knock it down. Right? Yeah, nothing will happen to it. You were wrong. You open the door to let your boyfriend, Hoseok, in. He kisses you while entering. But he dropped something on his way. Closing the door and locking it again you look down to see what he had dropped. “Can you get those for me princess? I have to say hi to my little ray of sunshine.” He asks as he makes his way to the dining room, which is where Blythe was trying to get into one of the chairs. “Sure.” You crouch down to pick up the dropped keys. The keys aren’t the only things that dropped though. After retrieving the keys you practically hop up, ready to relax. The hop had seemed to hit something though, making said item fall with a crack. Looking down to see what had dropped you see the familiar brown wrapper. Your chocolate bar had dropped and your heart had dropped with it.You let out a shriek of horror and dropped to your knees. Hearing the shriek Hoseok puts down Blythe and rushes over to you. “What? What’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself-” “𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙣!” You cut him off still looking at the chocolate bar. He follows you eyes to the fallen chocolate bar. He lets out a breath of relief. “𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙧. 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙘.” “Dramatic?! Dramatic?! I’m not being dramatic! My one way ticket to relaxation just snapped in half right in front of me!” You exclaim. “I can be your one way ticket to relaxation tonight.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Hoseok says suggestively. “Our daughter is literally right behind you.” “Oh shi-” You cover Blythe’s ears and start leading her back to her room before he can finish his sentence. “Lalalalala. We can’t hear you.” You chant on your way to Blythe’s room. “Sorry!” He yells out. “Uh-huh!”

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MY BULLY-JIMIN ONESHOT

Name: Jeon Jungkook

age:21

Hobbies:dancing, singing.

Siblings:Seokjin

Crush:Jimin

So yeah jimin is my bully, yet I still love him. I should hate him, but I can't i've liked him since the seventh grade.

JUNGKOOK POV

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

"UGHH SHUT UP!!" Gosh I really don't want to face him today. I got up and did my morning routine.I decided to wear this

I look at my phone and I'm late, I'm not hungry so I run out the house dashing for school. "Feww I have a few minutes before class starts." I run into school only to run into someone, I don't look up, "I'm s-sorry! " Then I was fixing to run past the person when the person grabbed my wrist and forced me to look up at him. "J-jimin I'm terribly s-sorry please don't hurt m-me." "Awwee how cute." I was so shocked, "Real-" "NO HAHAH YOUR FACE." Then he punched me hard. By the end of the session I was on the floor coughing up blood. The bell rang and I was late. I ran to class and opened the door ready to hear a lecture. "JEON JUNGKOOK WHY ARE YOU LATE!?!? "

"I'm sorry ma'am I just was in the restroom when the bell rang." "Go sit down now!" When the class was over I headed to the cafeteria when my only best friend came up to me. "Hey are you going to the party. "

" oh hey Jisoo and noooo"

"yes you are I'll meet you at your house at 6:30 bye! " she ran off before I could reject.

AT 6:30

*DING DONG*

Before I could open the door Jisoo came running in with lots of shopping bags. "How many dresses will you be trying on today😂. "

" noo these are not mines, these are yours. " "noo i can't! "

"yes you will, now time for preparations." After a lot this is what we came up with

Jisoos

Mine

When we arrived at the party everyones eyes were on me. "Oh look the nerd, I think i should make that ugly face more ugly" I closed my eyes waiting for the slap, but nothing. I look up and see jimin holding the mans wrist. I was so confused. Both left but I ran after jimin. "JIMIN, JIMIN WAIT! " he turn around slowly. I bow "thankyou" He then has a smile on him face. "Why a-are you smi-smiling"

" you've never said thank you to me. " "oh-oh ok bye" I was fixing to walk away when he grabbed my wrist and told me "the only reason I did that was because only I can hit you." That's all it took for me to cry and scream at him. "Wow i thought you were being nice I mean you've never done that so why all of the sudden the change-"

" BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!! " I was so shocked. "I don't believe that. " He grabbed me by my wrist and lead me to a room. He grabbed me by my neck and kissed me passionately. "That's how much I love you. "

"i don't believe you I need more." This time he kissed me roughly and we started walking till I hit the bed a fell. He started to take off my shirt and his. After all was off he said, " Jeon Jungkook may I make you mine? "

" I'm all yours. "

" I dont think I can control myself. "

" don't " I said. He then kissed my face down to my jawline, to my neck. He made marks. He aligned him self at my entrance. He pushed in with no mercy kissing me instantly so I don't scream. Tears were threatening to fall, until the pain turned to pleasure. Sinful moans came out of our mouths. My head shot back when he hit a spot. When I shot my head back he sucked my neck given the access. "Fuckkkkkk ji-min I-Im close."

" ugh me too baby boy. " He then crashed next to me. "Do you believe me now. "

" Y-yes. "

"jungkook will you be my boyfriend. "

"I mean you just fucked meeee soo. "

He look sad. "I'm joking of course I'll be yours. "

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WHY JUST WHY😭😭🍆🍑💦👼

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WHAT DOES THIS MEAN 😏

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THIS IS TO MUCH

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reblog or like if you save/use • don’t repost ♡

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Baby culture

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OMFG IF THIS IS NOT JIN