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they’ve been forcing us to write “customized notes” on every drink at work and now they’re having store meetings + coaching us on what we can and can’t write bc someone drew a pig on a cop’s coffee and tbh that’s on starbucks for not foreseeing this outcome.

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little kids make me laugh. i was at a party yesterday and a kid was there and she noticed that i have a long straight cut along the length of my thumb and asked about it, so i told her it was a cat scratch, almost healed, didn't hurt. and then she was sorta staring and touching it for a bit and went "you had bone surgery. because there were termites in your bones."

so i played along and went "oh man, i hope they got em all!" and she went "no. they put in more." lmao

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"Why don't people recognize Link in TOTK" bc everyone imagines the legendary swordsman to be built like Ganondorf and Link doesn't bother correcting anyone bc being hailed as a hero is like on the bottom of his priorities, which are topped by things like "Bake one of every pie"

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Loved one got top surgery yesterday so I made this for him but I think y’all would appreciate it too

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My fancy electric tea kettle that has different settings for different kinds of tea

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

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bonk

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let’s kill this asshole with mama

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let’s sit on mama

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let's go for a swim with mama

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let's march with mama

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i love this "with mama" meme. mm yes give me more baby animals with mmama.

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let's scale the mountain with mama

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lets kissy mama

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lets be muddy with mama

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Lets be silly with mama

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Lets sneef with mama

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At this point in think that D&D has more ardent support than lutheranism. And it's adherents are somehow even more annoying.