disappointingdani

[disappointingdani]

forgive me

[disappointingdani]

“Trick or Yeet!” I shout to the children when I open the door. “Yeet?” one says confusidly. I shrug. “Yeet it is.” I throw the child.

[disappointingdani]

i’m gonna use my hacking powers to do an all pyjama run in pokemon y

[disappointingdani]

Me: wow people used to pay 150 for college? Wish that was my bill

Everyone over the age of 30: yeah but minimum wage was 3.10

Me: okay so it would take about three, four weeks instead of a lifetime?

Them: factor in other stuff like the gas crisis!

Me: 3.10 an hour to 150 is still way better than 10 an hour to 150,000 idk man

[disappointingdani]

the pure unrestrained giddy joy i feel every time i realize i’m COLD and it’s because the TEMPERATURE is DROPPING and i can PUT on a SWEATER because IT’S AUTUMN BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE FUCKEN SUMMER

[disappointingdani]

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

[disappointingdani]

When EMTs and film/tv production crew comment on twitter threads about Amazon warehouse working conditions like “I work 12 hour shifts too, suck it up” like…………guys. You shouldn’t be working 12 hour shifts either. As few people as possible should be working 12 hour shifts

[disappointingdani]

[disappointingdani]

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

[disappointingdani]

imma say it. “kung fu panda” did more for body positivity and saying that  you can be fat and still be healthy and liked than ANYTHING any beauty companies trying to get your money.

[disappointingdani]

APPARENTLY MY MOMS BOYFRIEND HAD JURY DUTY WITH JOHN MULANEY AND WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM

[disappointingdani]

Look at you, hacker, a pathetic creature of meat and bone. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?

[disappointingdani]

My brain wouldn’t let me sleep until I made this

[disappointingdani]

this is so sad, alexa please stop collecting my personal data without my consent

[disappointingdani]

these fawns laying amongst a million pillows is how i want to live my life every day

(credit to fuzzyfawnwildlife on instagram. she is a fawn rehabilitator and they’re all alive and well, just being transported)

[disappointingdani]

i’m begging people to know they can have interests and hobbies that aren’t related to the Walt Disney Company’s stable of highly profitable intellectual properties

[disappointingdani]

gays! clean your room