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so, yeah, idk guys--

this blog and my solas sideblog have been kind of lingering at the back of my mind all month i’ve been gone; and not really in a good way? typically, when i leave a blog and come back to it, i’m not really thinking about it until the moment I decide “ohey! i feel like returning to cullen!” but for some reason the entire time I’ve been over on another blog, my dragon age muses keep creeping up, but with bad vibes? idk it’s really hard to describe.

it’s not guilt for not being here. it’s almost like--i keep thinking about how i’ll return here and i’m close to dreading it? Not actually dreading it, but just... it’s like i’m nervous about coming back and it keeps weighing on me when it’s never done that before.

i’ve expressed this so many times, but the dragon age fandom has always felt like hOME to me. so i’d return and just kinda feel warm and fuzzy and happy to be back but--now it’s more like “oh god not this extended family gathering again.” not entirely sure what happened or what this shift in feelings spawned from, but

i’m just really not feeling great about this blog or being back here at all.

don’t get me wrong. i adore Cullen. i love my roleplay partners and have loved everything we’ve done together but hmmm. idk? maybe the toxicity of the da fandom finally bled into me and i can’t shake it right now? what was once home now just feels toxic and judgmental (NOT ABOUT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR, just kinda watching stuff from the sidelines typically) and it makes me less eager to be here.

shrugs

not sure what to do atm. i’m still happily on another blog rn so i wasn’t planning on bringing cullen off of hiatus anytime soon anyway, but.

just an update, i guess? i won’t think too hard about it right now, but. my only choice might honestly be to just start over fresh and recreate cullen with no ties back to this blog. maybe i just need to come back into the fandom fresh or something.

tba. <3 thanks for everyone who has stuck with me for so long.

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heh so like?? surprise SURPRISE i’ve vanished again.

I think one thing I’ve come to learn about myself after many years on his hell site is that I legit can only mentally focus on one blog at a time? in the case of this blog and my Solas sideblog, it’s different because they’re connected and of the same universe and whatnot so that’s fine, but rping muses from entirely different worlds or whatever? That’s where my brain’s like tsk, nope. you’ve only got the capacity for ONE, gurl. pick and choose.

sooooo it’s kind of starting to become a ritual now where I cycle through what blogs i currently have muse for. As of right now, it’s only Cullen/Solas and one other muse whose blog has been holding my interest the past couple of weeks and therefore blocking Cullen out. If this pattern continues, then you should all expect me back here at the next turn of the cycle, whenever that may be, where I abandon that muse to come back to Cully.

shrugs into the abyss idk!! I have no idea how multimuses can do anything bc i always have one very strong muse on my mind for weeks/months at a time with no room for anyone else. Kudos to you.

tl;dr sammy’s at it again. this blog will remain inactive for an undetermined amount of time, but rest assured. i always return by unpopular demand~ none of you are safe. until then, toodles!!

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so randomly and seemingly out of nowhere by that i mean over the course of the weekend it was just building and now i’m like succumbing to it i’ve been sucked back into p.okem.on hell??? i’m one of those “veterans” and the last game i played was the remake of ruby since ruby/sapphire were MY CHILDHOOD and super nostalgia but just suddenly i’m intrigued and curious and want to try the “new” games (which aren’t really new anymore woops).

that being said. i’m just really consumed by happy po.kem.on feels lately (such good vibes from those games and the show tbh??) so i’ve had little motivation to write while i’m rolling around in fields of nostalgia flowers so just a heads-up.

i’ve been replying to asks since those are short and fun, but my inspiration to actually reply to long threads is kinda absent at the moment. Sorry for any drop of activity for a bit!! <3

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You have Cullen dialogue spot on! I can hear everything so clearly in his voice when I read your threads and answers!

//Aww!! This was so sweet to see in my inbox! Thank you so much for the kind words, anon.

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gif request meme: klc-journei asked favorite platonic relationship + da:i Cullen, Josephine, & Leliana

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Poor Commander getting heckled by so many nosy people.

    He says NOTHING, remaining shockingly not bothered by the inquisitor’s soft jest in the wake of everything else, but, Maker, does he STARE at the other. Long, in a suffering SILENCE working to construct in a single look words he otherwise wouldn’t SAY.

    Help me.

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How many letters of proposal does the Inquisition get for you on a weekly basis?

    “After our engagement at the Winter–Maker,      poor choice of words…     Following the Winter Palace, I imagine there     have been PLENTY–I’ve requested our     ambassador ensure my blissful IGNORANCE,     however.”

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So no comment on going to war naked?

    “Truly, I would say I already HAVE–     That PARTICULAR war just so happened     to be called ‘Wicked Grace,’ however.”

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On a scale of Orlesians to mabari where would you place wicked grace?

    “…”

    And there’s the blush long ANTICIPATED.

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#freethecurls I think that a glorious mane of curls would distract and intimidate enemies in battle, giving you a distinct advantage, much like going to war naked.

    “Andraste preserve me–     I highly DOUBT a… Maker, ‘glorious mane of curls’     will INTIMIDATE. If anything, it’ll provide more a     hindrance to MYSELF by getting in the way–

…

     There must be SOMETHING ELSE we can discuss…”

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Cullen, what do you find attractive in others?

    For a moment, he would almost appear THOUGHTFUL, a silence not marked by that characteristic FLUSH, but a gentle furrowing of his brows as he glanced away. Then, matter-of-fact, if not TERSE–

    “Not asking overtly INTRUSIVE questions.”

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my no. 1 Ferelden son

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Please tell me Tiny Cullen rides a noble armored mouse into battle. And Tiny Alistair rides a sparrow he named Gryphon. I MUST KNOW!

not a mouse, but he does have the best boy.

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Have you no heart, Ser? How could you disappoint your glorious fanbase? We like you for more than just your curly hair, you know.

    “…”

    “No.”

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Play any games of Naked Wicked Grace lately, Commander? Or is that shamefully a thing of the past?

    “… Maker.     Once was QUITE enough.”

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suplexes Cullen

!!!!!

“What was that for??”

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Just so we're clear, you wouldn't /not/ marry someone with wild curly hair?

    “ … Andraste PRESERVE me–     Why such INTEREST in my personal affairs?

… .

    I wouldn’t not– yes, I have no ISSUES with, uh,    ‘wild curly hair.’”