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now this may sound weird to say but i literally cannot fathom being straight or gay. like what the fuck do you mean gender is a factor in your attraction? i'm way too bisexual to understand whatever the hell you're talking about

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Fullmetal Alchemist?

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imagine hating me and i'm just at my house wearing a big t shirt with a skull on it

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After many years of selective breeding, they've finally developed a breed of phoenix that, rather than self-immolating itself into ash, instead roasts itself to a perfect internal 165° F while burning off all the feathers, resulting in an instant, ready-to-eat poultry dinner.

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This gotta be the funniest Enterprise-Klingon exchange ever:

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Released my army of evil homestuck geese

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I'm only seven episodes in this is what I'm picking up

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I need to give Zuko credit where credit is due here:

Being able to successfully redirect Ozai's lightning, which is definitely much more powerful than Azula's, is insane. Especially since this was his first attempt at doing it.

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Excuse me she was WHAT

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Hello, science fiction writer. Before you is a word processor and your vice of choice. You have 3 days to write a 10,000 word story with a racism allegory. However, if you write a justification into the story where the marginalized group was historically dangerous, i will light all your hair on fire with this cigarette lighter. Clock is ticking.

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Children please stop calling the slightest hint of sexual desire “gooning” I’m going to strangle all of you