discratch

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                                          — i’m running out of time.

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THE ADVENTURE ZONE SENTENCE STARTERS.

❝ Hail and well met, my dude. ❞

❝ Abraca fuck you. ❞ 

❝ God lied to me! ❞

❝ Kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard. ❞

❝ You are going to be amazing. ❞

❝ Liches get stitches. ❞

❝ Are you my friend? ❞

❝ Go out and do good. ❞

❝ Yo thug, what’s your name? I’m about to tentacle your dick! ❞

❝ No dogs on the moon, they just run off the goddamn thing. ❞

❝ I’m afraid no one else will have me. ❞

❝ Everything I drink tastes like keylime gogurt to me. ❞

❝ Don’t let them erase me. ❞

❝ What brings you happiness? ❞

❝ Bad news, comprades, this place is magic as hell. ❞

❝ I find that not killing people is very easy. ❞

❝ Everything is for keepsies if you’re sneaky about it. ❞

❝ You’re a coward and I hate you. ❞

❝ Boy you’re not intimidated by me at all, are you? ❞

❝I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry! ❞

❝ These potions get you reeeeeal fucked up. ❞

❝ Once you pop, the time control don’t stop. ❞

❝ Hot diggity shit. That is a baller cookie.❞

❝ We don’t have to talk. Let’s just…let’s just watch this together. ❞

❝ So here’s my solution, and I think you’re gonna find it very equitable: I’m not gonna shoot you with this giant crossbow. ❞

❝ I’m about to smooch your fucking brains out, babe. ❞

❝ You’re going to have to fight and you’re gonna win. ❞

❝ I’ll be having my body back, you undead fuck! ❞

❝ You fucking took everything from me! ❞

❝ How would you like to live forever? ❞

❝ I am but a simple, idiot wizard. ❞

❝ Yeah! It’s our first kill! …So why am I so horny? I’m broken inside… ❞

❝ You know…do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore. ❞

❝ Existence, (name), life? Is horrible. To exist, to live, is horrible. ❞

❝ Sometimes there aren’t good decisions. Sometimes…there’s just decisions.❞

❝ I appreciate what you’re trying to do. And I’m on board for whatever the plan is. But understand this: I have nothing, and I don’t give a shit. The world is ending and I. Don’t. Care.  ❞

❝ I will say that if you wanted to lure me in there you should’ve stayed handsome, my fella.❞ 

❝ Who stops serving pancakes at 9am?! I missed the whole thing! I had to get Cheetos! ❞

❝ I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this. ❞

❝ I’m not gonna be the one to pull the trigger on an entire civilization. I won’t do it.  ❞

❝ What brings me joy is…life.  I think you can find joy anywhere in life. ❞

❝ I don’t always do things right. And I don’t always do things smart. But whatever I do, I find joy in it. ‘Cause at the end of the day, that’s all you’ve got. ❞

❝ Tell ya what, if we ever meet each other somewhere in infinity, you can apologize to me and tell me you were wrong. ❞ 

❝ I have an update from [ Name ] Central. Uh, I have updated my list of people I trust and things I believe to no one and nothing! ❞

❝ I’m good, amigo. The bleeding’s all internal. That’s where the blood is supposed to be.❞

❝ I think there was probably a time where I had joy, where I experienced fleeting happiness or anger or fear, but God, it’s just been so long. ❞

❝ I am a man, (name), who knows the answer to the question of why we’re all here. I didn’t like it. ❞

❝ To have friendship, (name), it requires you to…love someone and be invested in your shared happiness and these things, (name): friendship, love, happiness? They’re all so…small. In the grand scheme of things, they last a second. ❞

❝ Look it got – WE got dark back there. I know this journey’s been tough, and it’s only going to get harder. But we can’t allow ourselves to get to that place again. ❞

❝We’ve lost a lot. And there’s a lot more we might lose. But one thing we do have is the thing people in love rarely ever have enough of – and it’s time. ❞

❝When someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying. Others are abrupt and unfair. But most are just unremarkable, unintentional, clumsy. ❞

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                                          --- i’m running out of time.

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i should make a bnha verse but i’m lazy

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heirsbreath:

what  a  deal,  3  plays  for  one  dollar!  this  is  gonna  be  GREAT.  he  counted  the  money  in  his  hand  then  looked  to  dave,  ❛ i ’ ve  got  $ 3 . 50,  you? ❜

     he pulls a wad of cash and coins out of his pocket,  all crumpled up in a godawful mess,  just as you’d expect from the disaster that is dave strider.   “  i got like---  7 . 75.  let’s do this.  “

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heirsbreath:

❛ hey  dave—  check  out  that  jukebox.  you  thinking  what  i  am? ❜  he  lightly  elbowed  dave  and  looked  to  him  then  to  the  jukebox  then  back  to  him.  / @discratch

          one glance is taken at the jukebox.  oh hell yes.   “  you fucking know i am.  how much cash you got on you right now?  we can combo our cash.  “

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horndanger:

@discratch

              “ k. “

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a john blog in twenty eighteen the year of our lord promo me plz

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❝ Giving him a name makes him human. ❞

               “  that shit ain’t how it works.  “   you pick up the snail off his leaf,  the little dude pops back in his shell at the movement.  there’s no name for him yet,  and the way things are going,  he probably won’t have a name anytime soon because damn if you aren’t going to argue against the idea that giving a name to something makes it human,   “  like,  that’s so stupid.  that’d be like---   i give a name to my turntables and suddenly they’re human,  check it the fuck out!  dirk gives a name to his weird ass pony dolls---  bam!  human!  they’re now one hundred percent,  living,  breathing homosapien creatures,  all ‘cause we gave ‘em a name.  that’s dumb,  never say that shit to me again.  “

BROOKLYN 99   /   ACCEPTING   /   @wuvlite

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wuvlite:

@discratch WANTED A STARTER.

*you shoot him and he does not dodge and he dies* m’lady…………. *tips ballcap and kicks corpse into clown hell*

*dave strider is dead*

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✧   BROOKLYN�� NINE  -  NINE  SENTENCE  PROMPTS   !  

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF THE SHOW, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

❝ The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie. ❞

❝ Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now. ❞

❝ I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.. ❞

❝ Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me. ❞

❝ God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. ❞

❝ Giving him a name makes him human. ❞

❝ I’m fairly certain you would be caught. ❞

❝ What’s the most valuable thing in your office? ❞

❝ You mean my job as an amazing detective/genius? ❞

❝ Did you tell her we slept together twice? ❞

❝ I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit. ❞

❝ I’d wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. ❞

❝ You’re going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. ❞

❝ Come on, who wants to take this seriously? ❞

❝ I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.  ❞

❝ Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!  ❞

❝ Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he’s gotten out of jail? ❞

❝ Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate? ❞

❝ A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That’s highly unusual. ❞

❝ It’s a personal matter, involving a personal friend and his personal uncle. ❞

❝ So you remembered to turn off your signature, right? ❞

❝ I promise you, as soon as they tell me, you’ll be the first to know. ❞

❝ You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad. ❞

❝ Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, alright? My lips are sealed! ❞

❝ This is a secret. Do you understand me? ❞

❝ You do know what they do to witches up there, don’t you? ❞ 

❝ Well, I think we handled that with dignity. ❞

❝ Are you making fun of my stutter? ❞

❝ Oh. Uh… Sorry. I think I’m feeling a little awkward. ❞

❝ How do we make it not weird? ❞

❝ I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face. ❞

❝ You know I’ve made a lot of improvements since you left? ❞

❝ I know we just met, and I don’t wanna be too forward… ❞

❝ I’ve got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we- ❞

❝ They just gave me ten years in prison.. ❞

❝ You can’t do anything except disobey orders and screw up! ❞

❝ Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot. ❞

❝ What’s up? How can I help? ❞

❝ Well, we’ll just break you down to nothin’ and see what time it is. ❞

❝ Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. What’s for dinner? ❞

❝ Why do people like these things? They’re just shiny rocks. ❞

❝ We’re gonna talk to a lawyer and get a professional opinion. ❞

❝ Looks good! Can barely tell you hulked out in here. ❞

❝ I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard. ❞

❝ All I did was be the only person who believes in you. ❞

❝ Somebody’s tryin’ to kill me, and I need protection. ❞

❝ I can smoke as much weed as I want. ❞

❝ It’s this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple. ❞

❝ I saw an opening and I had to take it. ❞

❝ But this isn’t over! I will hunt you to the ends of the earth! ❞

❝ What?! But we saw him throw them in the garbage! ❞

❝ Nobody’s ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry. ❞

❝ It’s not like I’m dying to tell anyone I saw your- ❞

❝ I’m dating my son-of-a-bitch ex-husband; who am I to judge? ❞

❝ I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes. ❞

❝ I’ll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want! ❞

❝ Massage! I’ll give you a massage! ❞

❝ I’ll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe. ❞

❝ That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now. ❞

❝ The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth. And in my hands! ❞

❝ Come on, you can be honest. ❞

❝ I want old, expensive books. I’ll send you a list. ❞

❝ The tow truck just got here, so that’ll buy us at least an hour. ❞

❝ Tow truck?! What the hell’d you do to my car?! ❞

❝ What we need in here is an armored personnel carrier. A tank! ❞

❝ Well, I’m gonna go follow up on a lead right now. ❞

❝ Woah, no! What’re those morons doing in there?!  ❞

❝ Why is everyone just standing around? Get back to work! ❞

❝ What’d you do? What’d you say? ❞

❝ I hear you can smuggle in crap from outside. ❞

❝ What’re you lookin’ at? You got a problem? ❞

❝ I like you. You got balls.. ❞

❝ I hate to rub it in, detectives, but I told you they’d find me. ❞

❝ Well, he keeps yelling, “Disability for life!” so I think he’s fine. ❞

❝ Who hired you? Who do you work for, pizza man?! ❞

❝ You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. ❞

❝ What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it? ❞

❝ All because we shut down a foot massage place. ❞    

❝ Oh, my God. The City has no mayor now. ❞    

❝ Put your magical hands where I can see them! ❞    

❝ Did they make their bust? Did they save the precinct? ❞  

❝ I was behind the bar the whole time. ❞    

❝ I bet they have some awesome name for it. ❞    

❝ Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute? ❞    

❝ I think you guys might be our best option at finding this guy again. ❞    

❝ You know, a bunch of us are going out drinking tonight. ❞    

❝ How did you get over there? Who are they? ❞    

❝ I’ve been calling you. Why won’t you answer your phone? ❞    

❝ We’ve been onto you for weeks, and we finally got you. ❞    

❝ I’ve never seen them before! What is going on? ❞    

❝ We’re on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.  ❞    

❝ Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.  ❞    

❝ Wait… What? Did you say “eat people”? Are you a cannibal, [ Name ]? ❞    

❝ I’m always gonna be one step ahead of you. ❞  

❝ I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s happening right now. ❞

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wow you all really followed

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this is so sad

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❝ DAVE, BITE MY ENTIRE ASS. GO LEGALLY BRAIN DEAD, FROM LACK OF OXYGEN, DUE TO CHOKING ON MY ENTIRE ASS. ❞

nitw sentence starters.

               “ while that sounds fucking incredible there’s one major obstacle standing in the way of me and choking on your flat ass.  i don’t eat ass, my guy. “

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                  night in the woods 🍂 sentence starters.

fill in names and change pronouns as you need to!

❝ No like when your body is like ‘uh whoa I almost died,’ and you get all hyper because you’re filled with dolphins. ❞

❝ [NAME] BITE MY ENTIRE ASS. GO LEGALLY BRAIN DEAD, FROM LACK OF OXYGEN, DUE TO CHOKING ON MY ENTIRE ASS. ❞

❝ And it’s not my fault I’m a total trashfire! ❞

❝ I’m a total trash mammal! ❞

❝ Obviously the world is seriously screwed up, but we’re all gonna die if we don’t keep living. ❞

❝ If you ever hurt him I will kick your ass into the ground. He was mine first. ❞

❝ Crimes? Crimes. ❞

❝ Like, I dunno, we’re good at drawing lines through the space between stars. Like we’re pattern finders, and we’ll find patterns, and we like really put our hearts and minds into it even if we don’t mean to. ❞

❝ I believe in a universe that doesn’t care and people that do. ❞

❝ The stars! They make one think! ❞

❝ Yeah logs almost killed me. Normal stuff. ❞

❝ Okay really [Name], don’t poke dead body parts with sticks. ❞

❝ I walked until I got arrested. ❞

❝ Hey dude, don’t wear pants on my account. ❞

❝ Before the internet, they would hide porn in a hollow log in the woods. Be awkward if you were hiking out to the porn and some dude was already there and you’re like ‘sup dude, I guess we’re both here for the porn’. ❞

❝ PornLogBros4Ever. ❞

❝ I hope [Name] gets shivved at work. Just to scare him, scare him good. Scare him right in the kidney. ❞

❝ [Name], I declare thee danged. You’re in good company. Lots of folks been danged. ❞

❝ You know how you want to just go and stand in a corner sometimes? [Name]’s my corner. ❞

❝ Pizza party next time I die and come back. ❞

❝ Friendships are like trees. You have to water them so they grow. ❞

❝ —anyway I puked and then we dropped a robot in the woods. ❞

[discratch]

acarcino:

          ❝          THAT’S A LOAD OF SHIT. i have more fun than you will ever be &&           you know that.          ❞

words are spouted with a jump of offense, a huff following out afterwards.           ❝          yeah, you guys are second to only equius who is truly the weirdest FREAK           that’s ever entered my life. okay, i know the bunny one has to be bullshit. that           doesn’t make any sense !! i swear, it’s like humans just get high off of their own waste           && prod themselves in their leaky nooks knowing that someone might give           them an OUNCE of attention. or, at least from what you tell me, anyway.          ❞

           " hah, if you say so.  you're still hangin' around me though, so obviously you're seeing some reason to stay. "

              his shoulders come up in a lazy shrug.  now that he thinks about it, the easter bunny does actually sound like a load of bullshit no matter how he describes it.

              " can agree on the equius thing and i take back my willingness to learn how to be out there.  i'm pretty content to never talk to that dude--- ever.  anyways, for once i'm not pullin' on your dick. "   he stops and scrunches his face up in mild disgust,   " don't--- don't tell me what you guys have.  i don't know and i'm not out here to get schooled on what may or may not be in a troll's pants on any given day.  moving on, the furry rabbit shit is for real.  i mean like as real as any other thing like that gets, so basically a dude in a fursuit, pretending to be the easter bunny so parents could hold off on shattering little jimmy's dreams for another year.  but like it was definitely a thing.  not gonna say if it was a good or bad thing, but it was there and it was fucking weird. "

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acarcino:

          ❝          THAT’S DEBATABLE. i’m certainly not having a delightful time.          ❞

he rests his cheek to his hand, eyebrows darting down in a furrow when pointed ears pick up a soft laugh. red rises to his cheeks, ghosting over just in the slightest.           ❝          humans are the second weirdest thing in the entirety of this DEEP &&           ALMIGHTY, RIGHTEOUS probechute of a fucking universe. seriously. you           guys have the shittiest traditions i’ve ever heard of, whether you ripped them           out of your ass on the spot or if it’s actually been practiced on the shitstain you           known as earth… who the fuck DOES that ?? why is that a tradition ?           it goes alongside the old hag, magical sparklelady that takes the teeth from           young children’s squawk gaper in exchange for currency. do you know how           stupid that is ?          ❞           

              " that's just because you don't know how to have fun. "

              he's not out of content yet, at least not enough to take a jab at the red faintly coloring karkat's cheeks.  instead he gets right back on the 'human tradition' train, ready to pump out more classic tales in as ridiculous a fashion as he can manage.

              " only the second weirdest?  shoot then, we sure as hell aren't trying hard enough.  the fuck's the first weirdest thing in this universe, i gotta know.  if i wanna be the best i gotta learn from the best.  i'll hand it to ya though, the tooth fairy shit wasn't the best idea, pretty low on the list of stylin' and profilin' human traditions.  listen to this one though: a giant anthropomorphic bunny who brings eggs magically filled with tooth rotting sugar.  it's like a kid's mandatory introduction to being a furry, where you find out if you're gonna be into fucked up shit later in life or not. "