dismalzelenka

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Cooking With Grabbers

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"I'm just a swirl" -ice cream cone who uses TikTok

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sorry, i thought we all liked that fictional woman because she sucks

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Apocalypse soon, Oleg Vdovenko (soon)

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next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador

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i feel like people forget that sometimes characters in fic are written like that because it's a reflection of real life.

people have sex without setting boundaries. people have unprotected sex without talking about their sexual histories or producing recent sti tests. people play with kink without discussing it ahead of time or establishing a safeword. they have anal without 'enough' prep or lube—they may even prefer it like that.

and none of this is really a fantasy. it's all pretty normal. you can feel that it's inappropriately normalised, and you'd probably be right! but it is normalised: one study found that 58% of female undergraduate students on the campus studied had been choked during sex. 20% of those students said that they'd never been asked if it was ok; another 30% said they'd only sometimes been asked if they consented. fully half! (non-paywalled journal article on choking during sex here, including these numbers.) despite a rise in stis of all sorts, condom use is declining. (pdf link to the full text of this study about declining condom use in the us; aidsmap article about an australian study with similar results.)

even when people do talk about things—sex or anything else—they communicate imperfectly. 'yeah, but don't go too far' is consenting and setting a boundary, and also relying that the person you're talking to has the same metric for 'too far' that you do. for some people, 'the trash needs to go out' is a neutral, factual observation; for others, it's a request that the person they're speaking to take out the trash.

even when people understand each other perfectly, people react unpredictably to things sometimes! we behave irrationally! people laugh uncontrollably at funerals, or get angry at the straw that broke their back rather than the enormous load they were already carrying. they get scared and lash out at people trying to help them. when hurt, most people do not instinctively reach for therapy-approved grounding exercises and 'i feel' statements.

pretty much any bad choice that characters could conceivably make is a choice that people make in real life, on purpose, all the time. people do things that can have catastrophic, life-changing effects because it felt like a good idea at the time, or they're leaning into the vibe, or they just didn't think about it all that much, or an infinite number of other reasons.

fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible ways to live your life, and fanfic isn't any different. it's not a narrative flaw to let characters do things that are messy or harmful or downright stupid—it's a reflection of what people are actually like, and not something that authors should feel they have to apologise for.

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Crying in the chantry (see under cut)

Paris Paloma's Notre Dame

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Quick reminder for my American followers.

Making threats or calls for violence against specific government officials is something that an authoritarian government would LOVE for you to do because it gives them an excuse to detain and question you.

Don't make posts or reblog things saying a specific government official should be shot or beaten or whatever. That shit could get you taken in and questioned under a Democrat president. Our current administration is aching for the chance to do worse.

Use your brain. Don't make foolish calls for violence out of a sense of anger. You're putting yourself in danger and encouraging others to do the same.

This isn't about tone policing. It's about safety.

You gotta be smart or you're going to put yourself and others in danger.

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Most-used word in each US state.

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Frankly some of you should be hornier over weirder shit. The fear of being too genuine is the enemy of art. Be a bit of a pervert. It's good for the health. Doesn't have to be a sexual thing just own up to being a bit obsessed in some cringe shit it's fine.

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she took the pey wet in the divorce

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I know we’re on the gay website but if you disparage people who enjoy a seemingly het ship and paint them as “heterosexuals who scare me” - I fear you have forgotten about bisexuality again!!

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what's a dragon age 2

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Add another one to the list of hilarious examples of why generative AI doesn't produce correct answers, just statistically likely ones.

(Customers asked for how-to videos, which the company doesn't have. The AI chatbot decided that a million internet users linking to this video after similar requests couldn't be wrong.)

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Oh, I'm no innocent. But evil? Well, you tell me. With the Fist and the Watch and the Council itself all licking the Absolute's boots, who's the only one left standing to protect Baldur's Gate? ↳ ASTELE “NINE-FINGERS” KEENE👋🗡️