disneyprincemuke

[disneyprincemuke]

920 words of (not quite) sargebon word vomit that came to me at 7am that I proceeded to write on the train, in an Uber and through breakfast

“Logan got a job.” 

It's a beautiful day on the marina; the waves rock against the side of the boat they've been staying on, and Lily is dressed in a gorgeous red bikini with cute bows tied on the sides. Her skin is draped in a lovely silk robe, a thing with fluffy hems that Alex should definitely be paying more attention to.

And yet he's on his phone, finger stalling over a post with his teammates face on it, a person who would probably hardly recognize him, at this point.

“Logan? Like Sargeant?” Lily asks lightly, crossing the room to the mini bar. It's nine AM; far too early for a cocktail.

“Yeah, what other Logan's do I know?” Alex swallows down a scoff, because he already knows he said the wrong thing.

He can feel Lily's stare bore into the side of his head, a hand on hip warning letting him know that he's on a timer to set himself straight.

“Sorry, sorry. Yeah, that Logan. I don't know why, I'm just…” Alex shuts his phone off and tosses it on to the coffee table with a clatter, scowling down at the source of the noise as if he isn't the one who caused it.

Lily hums and slinks over until she's standing behind Alex, behind the couch and placing her hand on his shoulder.

Alex looks up at her, soft features still dewy with her morning skincare, and sighs, looking away towards the floor and feeling strangely ashamed.

“I don't know. I feel weird,” 

“About?” Lily coaxes without missing a beat, and Alex kind of wants to lean over and bash his head against the table until it shatters.

Because he doesn't know.

Logan always made him feel weird, like Alex was looking at a more filtered version of himself, reflected back with straighter teeth, more yellowed and more American. Logan made Alex question whether he'd fuck his own clone more times than he'd like to admit.

Because it feels like a taunt how similar they are. How similar they turned out to be.

Being placed in a cold, closed off team, treated like a dog taken in out of pity. A team principal who is only so kind for so long. A teammate who outpaced and outclassed you at every left turn.

And Logan was quiet, an introvert; more than Alex is, anyway. And Alex considers himself an introvert.

He thinks the difference is Logan was more anxious, he had more knives crawling up his back. He didn't have as strong of an F2 campaign, he didn't have an academy that was loyal to him for years, he didn't have the trophies and championships and as much public appraisal that Alex did.

He didn't get the opportunity to outperform a lesser team. He was tossed into a team that thought they were capable of more than they really were. It was an ego game, and Logan lost. Was losing.

“Alex?” Lily startles Alex out of his thoughts, now sitting next to him and placing her hand on his bicep, leaning forward into Alex's frame of view with a concerned crease in her brow.

Alex grumbles, and looks over at her with a feeling swirling in his eyes that he hopes Lily can decode, because Alex has begun feeling a little dizzy, caught up in the whirlwind of his own thoughts.

“Do you miss him?” 

Ah. Yeah. That.

It's been a long time since Alex thought he missed Logan; a long while since Franco came about and didn't quite have the same laugh, or the same crease to his smile, and a long while since Carlos has managed to look like either of them.

“Maybe,” Alex rasps towards the floor, not having the stomach to look at Lily as he says it. Not when Lily knows about how Alex felt for a long time, how he bottled it up for so long he nearly lied and confessed that he cheated instead of just coming clean about his not quite platonic, not quite paternal feelings for Logan.

Lily nodded along sagely when Alex finally told her about it, the night after Zandvoort, a choked confession about how badly he wished he did something, how badly he wished he said something, fought harder, talked more, laughed more, told Logan he was good enough, that he's allowed to be here, to take up space in the paddock, and on the grid, and in the hollows of Alex's chest.

If Logan was so similar to Alex in his own right, then why was Alex incapable of doing anything? Of helping? If teams like Williams are where lost talent goes to thrive, then why couldn't Logan?

Why does it hurt so badly that Logan finally has a job again? The thing Alex has been silently praying for for months? Why does it hurt so badly that he isn't there with him, side by side as his weird, forced by proxy mentor that likes his student far more than his student likes him?

Alex's eyes stare into the shallow blue of the coast. They've drifted out from it since they woke up this morning, when Lily stepped out onto the deck and hummed satisfactorily when the vinyl was sun warmed beneath her feet, yelping when Alex slipped his freezing cold hands against her waist.

The sun glints off the ripples, disturbed by a motorboat that has just gone past, and the light stings Alex's dry eyes.

“I miss him.” 

[disneyprincemuke]

Back to my normal propaganda pushing. :)

[disneyprincemuke]

ok now it's everybody else's turn to watch the tiktok. watch the tiktok or i'm climbing into your walls tonight!!! 😐😐😐😐😐

watch this tiktok or i'm sending my therapy bills to you

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSAjuxE9K/

okay yeah I deserved this 😕

[disneyprincemuke]

Losing a Championship for the First Time: 5 Stages of Grief

[disneyprincemuke]

More Loscar? I keep thinking about them and the more sad I get so yall will suffer with me

[disneyprincemuke]

[disneyprincemuke]

Proposal for new fandom etiquette:

If you read a fic because it was linked/recced somewhere, you leave a comment saying "came from XXX" and that comment doesn't need to include anything else.

Because when all of a sudden there's a lot of activity on one particular fic I WANNA KNOW WHY!!!!!

[disneyprincemuke]

I am not immune to best friends who are in love with each other

[disneyprincemuke]

hater

where r u

i'm crying over logan pls let me cry

[disneyprincemuke]

where r u

i'm crying over logan pls let me cry

[disneyprincemuke]

i really admire how hard sargenation rides for logan like i’ve seen 15 posts that are roughly just “HES EMPLOYED” in the past few days and it’s always about logan

[disneyprincemuke]

yes!

is this his new job

[disneyprincemuke]

bitch.

what did you call me?

[disneyprincemuke]

GYM LOGAN AND HES COMING BACK FR FR (unsure where yet)

[disneyprincemuke]

i request not in the same way by 5sos with mick have it blaring and hurry it up please thank you

i said lyrics, lark. these are not lyrics, this is a whole ass song

pairing: frat!mick x fem!reader

notes: i'd shower in frat aus if i could btw

you said you were done with this. the alcohol, the parties, with him – mick.

yet when your friends flashed the party flyers they were handing out, you found yourself here anyway.

you carefully weaved through the growing crowd in the dark, neon lights occasionally hitting familiar faces that you'd greet with a small smile.

lando and max are arguing at the dj booth as they hunch over a laptop. there's a bunch of their frat brothers at the pool, taking turns to push one another inside with a group of girls riling them up with cheers. then there's george leaning against the bar counter, chatting with alex on the other side.

george catches you first, leaning at the bar. “we weren’t expecting you tonight.”

you pressed your lips into a thin line. "neither was i."

"shot?" alex tilts towards you. “it’s not your vodka, but i've got something similar."

you take one more look around the crowd. the crowd around the beer pong is rowdier than when you first glanced over. there's some girl laughing maniacally as the crowd around her went crazy, and charles on the other side with his head hung low in defeat.

what's the worst that could happen?

so you say yes. six shot glasses clink onto the counter.

"so," alex says softly, scratching the back of his neck. "um..."

george blinks. and you feel it: the way they wanna ask you questions you don't have the answer to. instead, george pushes a shotglass towards you and alex.

alcohol is courage, after all. so george finally turns to you and presses his palm against the countertop. "so, you're here."

you glance at him from the corners of your eyes. "so i'm here."

which shouldn't be a surprise. you’ve been gone almost 2 weeks after haunting this house like it was your second skin.

"why, exactly?" alex hums with a small teasing smile. "if i remember correctly, you said you hated us."

"that's not what i said," you huff, holding a finger up to keep george from saying his piece. "i said that i hated mick."

alex waves his hands in the air. "i'm pretty sure you specifically said you hated this entire frat and that," he pauses to clear his throat, "we're all dogs who hate women."

although, when you said that, you were drunk out of your mind. could they really fault you for not remembering what you said exactly?

"you were half right, though," george mutters, nodding. "anyway..."

they start to talk. some gossip about the guys in the younger frat next door — something about their sophomore heart throb spotted out on a cute date with some stem major in a fancy restaurant.

you’re not exactly subtle about your true intentions. still scanning the house for his face. pretending to listen. pretending not to look over your shoulder trying to meet a familiar pair of eyes.

finally, alex sighs. “we don’t know where he is.”

you hum innocently, tilting your head. "who is?"

"mick?" george chuckles, nodding. "we haven't seen him since the party started."

"but," alex sighs, "could be upstairs.”

before you can answer, the crowd erupts. head tilt up and yours follow instinctively.

there he is — coming down the stairs with that signature polite smile. a girl by his side, dress tugged, hair messy, and both of them flowing with what everyone knows they’ve been doing.

cheering breaks out. his flushed cheeks, the way his chest heaves. you know that look too well.

alex nudges a shot towards you. george slides the remaining 2 along.

"you're gonna need it," george mutters, pressing his lips together.

you down all 3, one after the other, without another thought. it doesn’t burn like you’d expected. it feels like home, and it does nothing against the ache of watching him move on.

until he sees you. he always sees you. that scowl, that silhouette — he would recognise that anywhere. and it drags him straight toward you.

he promised you, the last time you spoke, that he’d do his part in staying away. 

until today.

“it’s not what you think.”

you scoff. “right. cause you guys were just talking upstairs?”

he sighs, leaning against the counter. he leans in slightly. “you broke up with me.”

your head snaps toward him. “so?”

you hear the shuffling from george and alex. when you briefly glanced over your shoulder, they’d evacuated to the other end of the bar to serve the partygoers.

“what do you mean ‘so’?” mick mutters. “stop looking like i did something wrong. we’re broken up.”

but that’s how it goes, doesn’t it? you break up with each other and find yourselves in each other’s beds again weeks later. muttering about fixing it and being better for one another. then it’ll get better for 3 months before the same damn thing happens again.

someone always caves.

just so happens this time it was you.

“you didn’t text me,” you snarl, turning fully to look at him. “and now you think pulling some girl upstairs is gonna erase me?”

mick huffs. “is this the part i’m supposed to start explaining?”

your jaw ticks. “i don’t know. are you going to?”

“she doesn’t mean anything,” he lowers his voice as if it would soften the blow. “i don’t even remember her name.”

“sure, you do,” the edge of your lip twitches slightly into a smirk. you angle your body away from him. “you liked her, didn’t you?”

“no.”

“well, enough to bring her upstairs to your bedroom.”

he hesitates, torn between walking away or digging himself deeper. he rakes a hand through his hair. his cheeks are still flushed, though whether it’s from her or from you, you’re not too sure. “you ended it, remember? you told me you were done with me.”

“and you believed me?” the words spill before you can think. too fast, too honest.

for a moment, the noise of the party dulls to nothing but his breathing, your pulse and the heavy silence between you.

he leans closer, enough that you catch the scent of his cologne under the alcohol. “you want me to believe you don’t care, but you’re at my party. you came looking for me, didn’t you?”

you scoff. “don’t flatter yourself, mick.”

he sucks in a breath. “then what are you still doing here listening to me tell you that she didn’t mean anything to me?”

at that point, you should have walked away. pushed him off and let him rot in his skin without you.

but you turn your head again to meet his gaze anyway. “because you’re mine.”

his eyes flicker, searching yours like he’s trying to find the piece of you that still wants him — the piece you swore you buried.

your lips carve into a sinister grin. “you think you’ll find anyone who knows you like i do?” you lean in slightly and you notice how his breath hitches. “you really think anyone else could make you feel the way i do?” you pull back. “dream on.”

somewhere behind you, someone yells about the next round of beer pong. the music blares louder, and still, the 2 of you just stay where you are.

he narrows his eyes. then it seems like clarity washes over him. because he takes a step back and chuckles. “you’re fucking crazy.”

you don’t say anything. not much, anyway. “i love you.”

his grip on the back of your seat tightens. his gaze cuts back to you. you wait, daring him to say it back.

he bites the inside of his cheek. “you staying the night or what?”

you grin. “yeah.”

come join my frat party

[disneyprincemuke]

Logan with his race engineer, Gaetan, during the red flag | 2024 Monaco Grand Prix

[disneyprincemuke]

pls ok? i was the OG "i'll retire if you don't give me attention" crazy girl 😾 never try to erase me from f1blr history ever again @foreveralbon !!!

i will NOT forget the day yall let my 4k celebration flop; i WILL be considering retirement 😾😾😾