disordered-diaries - Tumblr blog

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“The day is grey but the clouds carry anticipation in the breaths between raindrops instead of their usual gloom. You taste like coffee and unanswered questions and there’s a prologue on your tongue. I am cloaked in caution and quiet lingering at the edge of eyes the color of shape-shifting silhouettes, wondering if I should leap.”

— Kristen Costello 

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quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.

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body check

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Name workout

Put your name letters together and do some quick exercises. How many calories will you burn?

A: 50 jumping jacks 10 cal

B: 20 crunches 5 cal

C: 30 squats 15 cal

D: 10 pushups 5 cal

E: 30 arm circles 5 cal

F: 20 sit ups 7 cal

G: 10 burpees 8 cal

H: 15 pushups 8 cal

I: 2 minute wall sit 15 cal

J: 20 burpees 15 cal

K: 30 arm circles 5 cal

L: 30 jumping jacks 8 cal

M: 1 minute wall sit 7 cal

N: 20 crunches 5 cal

O: 20 pushups 10 cal

P: 40 sit ups 15 cal

Q: 40 jumping jacks 9 cal

R: 10 burpees 8 cal

S: 2 minute wall sit 15 cal

T: 20 squats 10 cal

U: 40 crunches 15 cal

V: 30 sit ups 10 cal

W: 50 squats 25 cal

X: 40 arm circles 8 cal

Y: 10 crunches 2 cal

Z: 20 pushups 15 cal

Do all of them to burn 300 cal

It’s too hard

I don’t want to get up

It’s a waste of time

Think about that body you’ll have, how it will all pay off when you step on that scale and see the numbers drop. How happy you’ll be to finally feel light, wear whatever and have your body look stunning in it. Do it for the thin thighs and the perfect stomach.

Do it for you.

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Safe Foods Masterpost

Vegetables:

Almost everything, really… (But I’m listing my favourites ayy)

Napa cabbage: 12 calories/100 g

Lettuce: 15 calories/100 g

Celery: 16 calories/100 g

Cucumber: 16 calories/100 g

Zucchini: 17 calories/ 100 g

Tomato: 18 calories/100 g

Bell pepper: 20 calories/100 g

Spinach: 23 calories/100 g

Cabbage: 25 calories/100 g

Eggplant: 25 calories/100 g

Pumpkin: 26 calories/100 g

Green beans: 31 calories/100 g

Broccoli: 34 calories/100 g

Mushrooms: 38 calories/100 g

Onion: 40 calories/100 g

Carrots: 41 calories/100 g

Questionable -

Potato: 77 calories/100 g

Peas: 81 calories/100 g

Sweet potato: 86 calories/100 g

Fruit:

Watermelon: 30 calories/100 g

Strawberries: 33 calories/100 g

Cantaloupe: 34 calories/100 g

Honeydew: 36 calories/100 g

Peach: 39 calories/100 g

Grapefruit: 42 calories/100 g

Blackberries: 43 calories/100 g

Orange: 47 calories/100 g

Cherry: 50 calories/100 g

Pineapple: 50 calories/100 g

Apple: 52 calories/100 g

Raspberries: 53 calories/100 g

Tangerine: 53 calories/100 g

Questionable -

Mango: 60 calories/100 g

Kiwi: 61 calories/100 g

Grapes: 67 calories/100 g

Fish and meat alternatives:

(I’m pescetarian :P)

Also, everything here is Questionable™ (except egg whites since they’re awesome) because stuff with protein is usually packed with calories

Egg whites: 52 calories/100 g

Tofu: 76 calories/100 g

Fish balls: 77 calories/100 g

Cod: 82 calories/100 g

Haddock: 90 calories/100 g

Imitation crab: 95 calories/100 g

Shrimp: 99 calories/100 g

Lentils: 116 calories/100 g

Quinoa: 120 calories/100 g

Carp: 127 calories/100 g

Tilapia: 129 calories/100 g

Salmon: 142 calories/100 g

Eggs: 155 calories/100 g

Dairy products and alternatives:

(Drinks in separate category)

0% plain yogurt: 56 calories/100 g

0% plain Greek yogurt: 59 calories/100 g

Questionable -

Fat free cottage cheese: 123 calories/cup

Grains:

(Snacks not included)

Shirataki noodles: 5 calories/cup

Rice cakes: 35 calories/cake (9 g)

Questionable -

Oatmeal: 68 calories/100 g

Whole wheat bread: 69 calories/slice (28 g)

Whole wheat pita: 75 calories/1 small (28 g)

Cheerios: 100 calories/cup

Corn Flakes: 100 calories/cup

Drinks:

Water: 0 calories

Coffee: 2 calories/cup

Green tea: 2 calories/cup

Peppermint tea: 2 calories/cup

Unsweetened cashew milk: 25 calories/cup

Unsweetened almond milk: 30 calories/cup

Questionable -

Unsweetened soy milk: 80 calories/cup

Other:

(Mostly snacks included here)

Pickles: 4 calories/1 small (37 g)

Rice thins: 7 calories/piece

Vegetable thins: 7 calories/piece

Multigrain wheat thins: 9 calories/piece

Vegetable broth: 12 calories/cup

Saltine crackers: 13 calories/cracker

Knorr’s vegetable bouillon cube: 15 calories/0.5 cube

Plain air popped popcorn: 31 calories/cup

Unsweetened applesauce: 42 calories/100 g

Questionable -

Dried cranberries: 123 calories/serving (40 g)

Quaker Chewy chocolate chip granola bar: 110/bar

Raisins: 129 calories/small box (43 g)

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A note to myself.

Please, don’t quit this time. I know, restricting/fasting for a week and no weightloss in sight. You step on the scale and you only weigh 3 pounds less. Sometimes you didn’t even loose 1 pound. But understand something: you have so much water weight. Your disgusting fat cells are filling up with water, trying to grasp on for life. If you would just hold on for another week, maybe even less, you’ll see that the cells have finally died and water is released. You’ll step on the scale and see a dramatic difference in weight.

So please, do this for us. Don’t binge. Just drink more water and walk away. You won’t regret it.

Don’t give up.

Stay safe,

Kat 🦋

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Meanspo 2.0

Well well well. Look who’s back.

I’ve noticed you’re not skinny yet. Why is that? You know exactly why.

It’s because you haven’t been restricting your calories like you should be.

It’s because you haven’t been getting up at 5am to work out.

It’s because you haven’t been drinking 3 litres of water a day.

It’s because you have been eating out of boredom, not out of hunger.

It’s because you’ve been binging.

It’s because you haven’t just realised that the pain is worth it.

Don’t you want to be skinny?? You’re constantly looking through the thinspo and pro ana tags, sitting on your lazy ass instead of working out. That lard covering the entirety of your body won’t go away by itself. You have to work hard for it. Skinniness is something some people are born with. Others have to work their asses off for it. You’re clearly not naturally skinny, so start fucking working .I love writing you meanspo. You know why? Because it feels like i’m doing charity work for obese people- makes me feel better about myself when i see you choking on your fat. Ah seeing you suffering seems to be such a relief for everyone else. I mean since it’s pretty clear already that people hate fatasses ig it feels amazing to see you sobbing bcs you re a pig. I like how you need someone else to tell you what to do because you’re incapable of realizing what you MUST do. Need motivation? Just look in the mirror overweight slut. Look closely to everything you don’t like about your body *meaning all your body but i just realized it s basically impossible to look at yourself fully- you can’t fit in a mirror and your eyes just can’t take seeing such a massive fat body your eyes might just start bleeding* Why don’t you just give up? I mean you already look like you ate a balloon it’s pretty funny. Did you accidentally blow yourself with an air pump? No?Oh my bad- you are just enormous i couldn’t think of any reason anyone could get this big but i mean i never knew how elastic the cheeks of a human being can be. I guess i just found out *points to all your fat jiggling *. Anyway go take pics of every bit of fat you want to get rid of and start fucking working. Go run a mile,2 or even 20 for fuck s sake you re trying to lose weight here*doesn t look like it but that s what you tell people*. GO DO SIT UPS UNTIL YOU HAVE BRUISES DOWN YOUR SPINE. GO DO SQUATS UNTIL YOU CAN T GET UP OFF THE FLOOR. GO LIFT WEIGHTS UNTIL YOUR ARMS FALL OFF. GO SWIM UNTIL YOU FUCKING DROWN. GO KILL YOURSELF IN EXERCISE. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO DO ALL OF THESE? BECAUSE YOU HAD TO JUST STARVE AND YOU COULDN T. BECAUSE YOU REALIZED TOO LATE THAT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE AND BECAUSE YOU FAILED ON US. YOU EITHER GO WORK OUT UNTIL YOU RE IN TEARS AND STARVE UNTIL YOU RE A WALKING SKELETON OR JUST LEAVE THE SERVER AND MAYBE EVEN KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE WE RE TIRED OF YOU SITTING HERE PRETENDING TO BE MAKING PROGRESS WHEN IT S PRETTY CLEAR YOU RE INCAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING. GO EXERCISE UNTIL YOU FAINT OR DON T YOU DARE COME TO US FOR ADVICE. YOU DON T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. YOU CAN BE FAT WHEN YOU RE OLD NOBODY WILL CARE. YOU HAVE TO BE SKINNY WHILE YOU RE YOUNG.

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You knew I was breaking but you didn't do anything to help.

And that is what hurts more than anything.

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You knew it would break me, but that didn’t stop you from doing it.