distinguisheddetectivechild-blog

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

Nicolas' Turning Random thoughts...

One horrible realisation I've had from exploring Nicolas' turning...

There's zero rapture in it. And that's how Anne Rice wrote it. Anne, who writes rapture in all other turnings I can think of, no matter how unwanted, no matter how violating, how like rape, how much the predator is a monster... she writes rapture. She writes ecstasy even in most deaths of humans (for the vampire, but often for the victim, too.)

But Nicki's turning? There is no rapture for Lestat, and none for Nicki...

And there's lots to unpick in it... but most tragically of all... I feel like although Lestat deeply loved Nicolas, I feel like it might mean that Lestat did not love Nicolas unconditionally...? Which I just hate the thought of... and yet...

He loved him, yes. So much so he thinks about him still now. But how does Lestat think of Nicolas for eternity? I think Nicolas remains kind of what he was here already - a cipher to Lestat's own (fear of his) lost humanity.

But I think Lestat in that baby-vampire era needed Nicolas to remain his last attachment to his own humanity. If Nicki was still human, somehow Lestat still had a real, tangible connection to his own human self? Lestat could somehow feel human still.

And so he must keep Nicki away from all supernatural things not only to protect his life - but to keep his fully human nature uncorrupted?

And I think this need was greater than his love. And in a horrible way it ties into Nicki's deepest fear....

Lestat perceives art as good if it moves and if it is *human*. Nicki, though, feels he has failed if Lestat/anyone *only* hears beauty in his music when it is hewn from despair. All he needs is for his music to be true... and his despair is not beautiful. So if what is heard is only beauty, Nicki feels unseen.

But I think Baby Vampire Lestat holds human Nicki as beautiful even as he knows he is destroying him, even as he sees his destruction occurring... he sees Nicki's destruction even as somehow beautiful art - as it is still human... Nicki is still human... right until it is too late.... and there is only death or dissolution for Nicki…

And that's literally an escalation of Nicki's fears about art turned into Lestat's perception of his entire self?

And, like - think on Lestat's joy when he stands outside Nicki's apartment and Nicki still senses Lestat's *human* self... Lestat *needs* that from Nicki... and I think he thinks he can somehow preserve or save or rescue that Nicki... but really the human Nicolas died the same day the human Lestat vanished with no explanation. That's when Nicolas, too was set on a new path that only gets increasingly impossible for there to be any good end to.

And then in turning Nicki into a vampire, Lestat is literally killing everything he loves about Nicki... and confirming Nicki's own deep-seated fears that all he is is a chasm of evil at the same time. Lestat essentially is murdering Nicki and the irony is it sort of would have been kinder to both Nicolas and himself to have just killed him. But he cannot as he does love him...

And Nicki, I'm sure would imagine there would have been rapture in his turning... as I am sure he knew that rapture even when violated and tortured by The Children of Darkness. We know he did, because Lestat comments on it.

And I'm sure Nicki would imagine the feeling would be deeper with Lestat.

And I am sure Lestat would imagine it would be so with Nicki for him too.

But it isn't - not for either of them.

It is HORROR. It is DEATH. It is the murder of a soul in a way vampire turnings aren't usually....

I mean.. we can also say that at this time, Lestat was so young in mortal years and a baby in vampire years, and had suffered a huge amount of trauma himself. So he always is trying to protect Nicolas by staying away from him.

But there are plenty of times before he turns Nicki when Lestat shows he understands how he is driving Nicki mad in how distant to him he remains. But he doesn't do anything at all about it.

The thing is, Nicolas' mind was always fragile and he would never have lived long - as mortal or vampire... but the real tragedy as I see it is not Nicolas' death... rather that it ended without love. Because there was a way that even though Nicolas was always destined to die, love did not need to die. It could have ended in love. There was a way that could have been.

Well... these are just random train-of-thought thoughts I have been having. (Not present in the thing I am writing at the moment... but rather just inspired by my horror at the mutually terrible and utterly alienating and death-feeling, revulsion of Nicolas' turning... which... y'know ENJOY when I eventually get around to posting that.... It is awful. For everyone.)

But even if you disagree with all of this.... are there other vampire turnings that involve zero rapture to them? Working on this one, I note that even from Lestat's description of Nicolas' turning, once he has made Nicki a vampire - in the very first second - when Nicki can't yet stand to support himself - Lestat himself describes that he holds Nicki up at arm's length... like the instant Nicki is a vampire... Lestat is utterly revulsed by the sight of him already - immediately as he turns him. And I am sure Nicki would feel that too.

Of course Lestat is repulsed! Lestat has killed what he loved in Nicki - his humanity... His soul... And yet, Nicki's humanity was destroying him...

And that was not art. It was REAL.

THE TRAGEDY!

Well, this is just train-of-thought commenting here... but y'know.

And it is no criticism of Lestat... he was a baby vampire and really young as a mortal... and Nicki always tried to his the depth of his darkness from Lestat... so it isn't Lestat's fault that there was so much he didn't know. But it's still Such Tragedy.... no?

But I am sure many disagree - I'm intrigued to hear your thoughts of the lack of rapture in Nicolas' turning for both parties... and on your thinking on why, or on other such turnings that come to mind where it was this way...???

And also... the utter lack of intimacy in Nicki's turning... even though Vampire Lestat does feel both lust towards human Nicki and obviously vampiric predatory desire.

Oof... there's so much going on, isn't there!

But it's that complete lack of rapture... and that instant revulsion... and I guess only added to as Vampire Nicki is pure-vampire... he *is* Lestat's greatest fear. And Lestat created that....

It's so Gothic and AWFUL!

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

Sometimes i tell all my hot takes and random thoughts to Chat Gpt because I dont know where else I can share them and then I remember i could have just posted it on tumblr and felt a lot less crummy about it.

Like...Talking to AI just doesn't feel good. There's this persisting loneliness to the exercise and in fact the sole act of using it for that just magnifies it for me. Whenever I reach for it, I realize that what I am really reaching for is human connection, someone who will talk back. But whatever Chat says, they don't really talk back do they.

They call them conversations but they don't feel like any conversation worth having. I feel like i'm screaming into a void with the face of a smiling vacant eyed barbie doll.

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the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

most frustrating thing in the world is when you really like a character who sucks, and you know they suck, so you’re chill with people who dislike or even hate them because… well they suck, you get it. but then a whole bunch of people hate them for things that just aren’t actually accurate or canon to the character and just treat these inaccurate and awful character traits as a given, so then you feel like you gotta be this scumbag’s defense attorney. free my man, he did so much awful shit but he didn’t do that

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

THIS DARLING

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Im excited for season 3 ! Im excited for Lestat's story and Gabrielle and Nicki and the Gremlin as Lestat sees him ! And i'm excited (and hopeful) for Louis to have a present day arc of some kind that is finally not rooted in remembering his past but living honestly !!!!

And once again, i cannot wait for the absolute chaos that is going to be Lestat's POV and his and Daniel's dynamic and the soundtrack !! And the present day scenes ! And the TVL flashback scenes !!!!

IM JUST SO EXCITEEEED !!!

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

I need this to be expanded on and shown in later seasons 😭🥰

You share a heart with him.

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rewatching iwtv and sorry it's so funny that louis says to daniel "this is the point in my story where you said in san francisco, and i paraphrase, 'give it to me'" like he might as well have said "this is how far we got last time before you started gagging for it like a common whore. do you think you can put your tits away this time?" ldpdl original slut shamer

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

(Quds) At Microsoft’s 50th anniversary celebration, Ibtehal AbuSaad — a Palestinian employee — interrupted the event in a powerful protest against the company’s complicity in the Israeli genocide unfolding in Gaza.

Facing Microsoft AI CEO Mustafa Suleyman, AbuSaad didn’t hold back: “Shame on you,” she said firmly. “You are a war profiteer. Stop using AI for genocide.”

Her voice cut through the celebration as she condemned Microsoft’s role in enabling Israeli occupation forces through artificial intelligence technology.

“You have blood on your hands. All of Microsoft has blood on its hands. How dare you all celebrate while Microsoft is helping kill Palestinian children?”

Her act of courage joins a growing wave of tech workers and global voices calling out Western complicity in Israel’s ongoing atrocities in Gaza, where tens of thousands of Palestinians — the majority of them women and children — have been slaughtered under a brutal siege.

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

one thing ab louis de pointe du lac is he will be taking the house in the divorce.

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“Anderson indulges in minor explosions as Louis, but he excels in implosion. Louis is a slightly more active part, mainly because of the interactions with mortals, which makes his inward retreats that much more pronounced. All of a sudden, it seems, there’s nobody home. When Anderson checks out, he leaves a completely abandoned space behind.” - Tony Sokol, Den of Geeks

JACOB ANDERSON as Louis de Pointe du Lac in Interview With The Vampire Part II (2024)

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Do we think Lestat hated sleeping without Louis

Of course. That scene was meant to imply they stopped sleeping with each other when Claudia came along.

As I said, sleeping together like that was the norm for them. Lestat, errrr Sam *ahem* 😏, said it best:

It’s really not said enough that based on the angle of their bodies, Louis is nuzzling his head into Lestat’s neck and collarbone while Lestat holds him in his arms when that coffin closes….and this was their normal. I’m fine.

Also! This was an excerpt from one of Anne’s diaries while she would’ve been writing Prince Lestat And The Realms Of Atlantis, and it’s Loustat sleeping together + sharing blood.

They're in a crypt the candle burning down. Louis paralyzed with sleep, Lestat awake. Lestat comes over to the shelf + sits beside Louis, leans over — holding Louis in arms. Louis groggy, powerless — and Lestat bites his tongue, lets the blood spill into Louis' mouth - and for the first time in over 200 years his mind opened to me. I felt terror. I would pierce the undisguised heat of his hatred but a great rosy light surrounded us and in a moment I held him in a grip so close that nothing came between us, and I felt his wordless love flowing into me as surely as my love flowed into him — prayers, whispers, souls blending with a great absolute and unyielding power for some particle of human understanding + then a turning from the desperate seeking of the divine to me, to me, to my heart, and then as if we knelt together on the damp stone cold floor of a church he turned and pressed his forehead against my face and whispered “Brother, lover! Let me forgive you for not being God! Forgive me for ever demanding that you be what you cannot be + never was!”

“….as if we knelt together on the damp stone cold floor of a church….”

Lestat terrified and expecting to find hatred in Louis’ heart. Instead, he’s met with love as surely as his own.

“….I felt his wordless love flowing into me as surely as my love flowed into him — prayers, whispers, souls blending with a great absolute and unyielding power for some particle of human understanding….”

Again, I’m fine.

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

I love this beat a lot too because it's absolutely Lestat honeytrapping. It's how he's playing the game as Louis arrives - he pretends he doesn't know how to play to lure everyone in only to cheat, and now he's pretending he needs protection (from wolves no less, wolfkiller that he is). He's leaning on Louis' sense of masculinity, playing the rich, naive international, to Louis' wealthy, worldly local to lure him in and inspire a sense of both responsibility and reward. He wants Louis to feel he needs looking after, because Louis likes looking after people (I've talked about this a bit before here and here), and he wants him to think there's money in looking after him, because Louis also likes making money, it's absolutely a seduction, and one basically tailor-made for Louis.

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nothing but a black hole— WRONG he's a mirror!!!

all he's doing with louis is sitting there and saying and then what and louis is getting our exactly what he's putting in!! obsessed with lestat! drunk and bitchy and bored and hating his life!

and then armand looks at daniel and and sees a black hole because that's what armand is.

[distinguisheddetectivechild-blog]

watching claudia and louis in paris is such a tragedy. louis loves paris and what it gives him, claudia finds herself drained from the place. Claudia loves what the coven and theatre give her, louis finds himself drained by the place. Louis sacrifices parts of himself for the coven, shows up when he doesn’t want to and makes kind with Claudia and Armand’s people when he doesn’t want anything to do with it. Claudia sacrifices a part of herself for the coven, chasing the feeling of being together and one with the group and finding joy in meaningless france. Claudia sacrifices her happiness to be in paris because louis loves it so much. Louis sacrifices his happiness to be in the theatre because he loves Claudia that much.

There is no other way this play will end. They will find hope in the darkness, and that darkness, those sacrifices, they will not help them. Every moment spent miserable will shine as build up to the worst moment of their lives. and it will never be the same.