dividedbyme-blog - Tumblr blog

[dividedbyme-blog]

"Holy fucking shit. That is a, ... ... I don't know what. Is that even real?"

AND THEN THREE HOURS LATER >>

< MORDECAI DRAGS HIS SORRY ASS BACK TO SANCTUARY. HE COMES OUT OF THE FAST TRAVEL HUB. HE’S DRIPPING WET, COVERED IN CAKED SAND AND BITE MARKS, BUT HE’S GRINNING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT. HE SEEMS TO BE DRAGGING A LARGE ANIMAL CORPSE. >

“GUYS. GUYS LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT DOWN AT JAKOBS’ COVE.”

“ZOMBIE SHARKTOPUS.”

< Except it’s dead, Mordecai’s sword is sticking out of one eye and there’s blood everywhere and oh my God. >

[dividedbyme-blog]

((I love a challenge/ to pun and haiku at once/ I shall punt Punter.))

[THEY DID AND I STILL HAVEN’T RECOVERED FROM THEM]

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((Just picture Zer0 wearing a santa cap on top of his helmet.))

I am Santa now?/ HO HO HO merry Christmas/ Your present is death...

plot twist: the next vault is on a planet that is the spitting image of Hoth

the vault hunters are not prepared to go from the dry wasteland of Pandora to the frozen tundra of this new planet

marcus starts selling mittens and parkas

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:P

Damn Zer0!

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A chest in front of a tower. It was obviously a trap. But, Zer0 loved traps. He loved springing them anyways. As it was generally more of a challenge to defeat his enemies after the fact.

Stealthily making his way around to survey the area, he kept an eye on the top of the tower. There was someone up there who he was certain was going to spring this trap, and he did not want to have the trap sprung when he was not ready. To facilitate this, he stayed easily out of sight.

The number of loaders around was entertaining. Zer0 found these to be less of a challenge than the bandits. Bandits, you had to shoot in the head. These things, it seemed, you could shoot just about anywhere with a decent gun and pieces would fly off. Sometimes he tried to see how many limbs he could knock off the loaders before they exploded. Generally he got to three. Some day he hoped to reach four. But the durability of the loaders made that rather difficult. Or the lack of durability, anyways.

Finally ready with his game plan, he stealthily scaled the reverse of the tower, planting his decoy at the approach. With choreographed synchronicity, he reached the top as his hologram made it's way to the chest. He stood, silent behind Hellquist, wondering if he ought to take the shot. At this range, the shields probably wouldn't be able to compensate for the massive amount of damage done from the cloak generator pumping energy into his shot. But taking chances was more interesting. Instead of going for the jugular. He pulled out his Jakobs revolver leveled it at Hellquist's Head and pulled the trigger.

No More Mr. Nice Guy (OPEN)

It was at that moment when Hunter began rethinking many choices he had made. He was angry at himself for getting emotionally attached to Courtney when he knew such attachments were only a weak point. He was angry at himself for bringing her to Hyperion when he knew she wasn’t loyal enough for the job. It was a good thing she had no vital information about Hyperion to give to the bandits.

Bandits… Perhaps he deserved this. He had been getting far to docile with them and this kind of betrayal was the only thing to be expected. All he wanted to do was help that girl. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her or use her for Hyperion’s benefit. He didn’t really care about her spying abilities. Getting information from Sanctuary was really only a perk as far as he was concerned. All he really cared about was keeping her safe. All he did was help her and guide her and cover for her and this is how she repaid him? By turning her back on him and disrespecting Jack? He should have left her in that snow storm… He shouldn’t have bothered to save that stupid animal of hers… He should have brought it back to the preserve like he was supposed to so it could have slag pumped into it until its veins burst!

He was furious. Those fucking bandits corrupted her. It was their fault more than anyone’s. It was always their fault. All hardship and pain could be traced back to them in some way or another. He wanted someone to pay for the betrayal he felt. He didn’t care who. He wanted to lead an army of loaders to the nearest bandit camp and decimate it. Burn it to the ground. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t have anywhere near that kind of power. But he did have another idea…   

He had a loader put a nice, tempting looking gun chest outside. Something you’d be sure contained something good. It was empty, of course and he took cover on his tower, assault riffle drawn, intent on slaughtering any bandit foolish enough to take the bait. Any bandit. Psycho, Crimson Raider, vault hunter, they were going to meet a crap load of robots and gunfire as soon as they got close.

Normally Hunter avoided combat. He didn’t want to make his chances of getting shot higher than they already were. But not today. And maybe he was going to make himself look like the biggest hypocrite in the world considering how he badgered Lilith about killing bullymongs, but he didn’t care. He was so. Done. With bandits.

[dividedbyme-blog]

Grey

"my armor unstained/ sheet steel; loader skins and bones/ the color within."

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this is nothing big/ have you seen me bicycling/ now that's impressive.

TINY. ROBOTS. RIDING. BICYCLES.

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Get your followers to send you colors, and then post your descriptions.  

ASK ME TO DESCRIBE A COLOR WITHOUT USING THAT COLOR

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This whole ‘Children of the Firehawk’ thing makes me kinda nostalgic… and then when I get nostalgic, I get nauseous.

Ugh.

Fuck the Order of the Impending Storm.

Pricks.

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I don't understand, why fire fascinates you so, but I shall digress.

4 torches have Volunteered for the Firehawk!

hyperionvp

utxii

dividedbyme

courtney-wildfire

Welcome Torches! To the domain of the Firehawk! Come and help show her our devotion!

[dividedbyme-blog]

That sounds fantastic. I always seek a challenge. This is most gracious.

:D

Oh well, never mind. Killing bandits is better, paper doesn’t bleed. :|

[dividedbyme-blog]

Oh well, never mind. Killing bandits is better, paper doesn't bleed. :|

How disappointing, I sincerely wanted to… It can’t that bad…

:(

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Pyromania, not an illness but it spreads, in a like manner...

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Your empathy helps, but it will not fix my tag. Gaige, fix my tag please.

Who just broke my tag?/ Do you know what you’ve just done?/ How will I find work?

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How disappointing, I sincerely wanted to... It can't that bad...

:(

dividedbyme replied to your post: Hey, sugar. I was looking on the ECHO net and are you aware that you have fan girls? Not to mention they started a petition a while back to bring you “justice” and are trying to get you unbanned from the inter-galactic sniping competition? What’s that all about?

A competition? I wish to compete at this, it shall test my skills.

What!? No, fuck that shit. You want no part of that competition, Zer0! The people who run it are assholes.

I fucking won that piece of shit “championship” with a revolver. It’s meant for sniper rifles but I did it easy with a revolver. No one was willing to believe I was that much better than them, though. They accused me of cheating and when I tried to deny it they had me run off for “unsportsmanlike conduct”. You’re better off just having a one on one thing with me.

Seriously, fuck. Those. GUYS. |:< 

[dividedbyme-blog]

Its a convenience/ Completing more tasks at once/ is now difficult.

Who just broke my tag?/ Do you know what you’ve just done?/ How will I find work?

[dividedbyme-blog]

Who just broke my tag?/ Do you know what you've just done?/ How will I find work?