djnusagi

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most american males dont want you unless youre their stepmom and are also princess peach with a huge penis

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is it healthy to hop back into bed with your swag still on?

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in third grade on the swing with my friend i announced “i figured it out” and my friend said “figured what out” and i said “the meaning of life!” and being third graders this was very exciting so she leaned in and i whispered in her ear “it’s to have fun” and i don’t remember her reaction but i remember how i felt and how i knew so clearly that was the answer. how my small mind was beaming and shimmering with this answer that makes me scoff today but i know that they were right. i was right

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listening to my friends play deltarune and not really paying attention so every three minutes i hear a bitcrushed "YABABABDABAWABAWOOBA" followed by them going "woahhh that's crazy"

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stopped at the grocery store by my house after my job interview yesterday with my button up still on and this one person who I see working there a lot shouted “you look really good today!” when they were walking out and I was walking in. maybe I should dress up more often.

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I hate knowing that I will never be happy with my own body

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haha thats so funny [face gets gravely serious] but were you not a staunch and trusted ally i would have you executed for such a joke

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iiim drunk and i need a burger right fucking now!!!!!!!

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gud morning !

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if I get this job I’m interviewing for tomorrow I’m gonna rent a movie from movie madness and get sizzle pie to celebrate. and I REALLY want that pizza (and to not be destitute) so pray for me or some shit

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even if they do not understand it on a deep intellectual level or know it by it’s academic name, most American adults intuitively understand Foucault’s boomerang and live in constant fear of it.

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Hey we used to be mutuals and im pretty sure you hate my guts and we did NOT get along. but all that aside i need you to know how beautiful youve gotten. Ive watched you change so much and regardless of how we feel interpersonally I really want you to know youve grown into something beautiful. You deserve to know that.

thanks I suppose? I probably don’t hate you I was likely just annoyed by some of your posting habits or had petty beef. I unfollow and block very liberally

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All the other bullshit wars we started for no good reason turned out to be huge clusterfucks where countless people died and the troops on the ground got whipped like rented mules and are only considered partial "successes" because Raytheon's shareholders made a little money off it, one after the other like clockwork, but surely *this* one will