djoqueery

[djoqueery]

love a fictional character who will scowl and tell people “I’m not sick” “I’m not hungry” “I didn’t get injured”

meanwhile he has an extremely high fever, he ate some soup last week, and the blood is soaking through his jacket

[djoqueery]

finished toadbert's halloween costume

little wizard

[djoqueery]

"what did students do before chatgpt?" well one time i forgot i had a history essay due at my 10am class the morning of so over the course of my 30 minute bus ride to school i awkwardly used by backpack as a desk, sped wrote the essay, and got an A on it.

six months later i re-read the essay prior to the final exam, went 'ohhhh yeah i remember this', got a question on that topic, and aced it.

point being that actually doing the work is how you learn the material and internalize it. ChatGPT can give you a short cut but you won't build you the the muscles.

[djoqueery]

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

[djoqueery]

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

[djoqueery]

having long distance friends is so fucked. do you wanna come over to my house and play (it will cost us 1 william dollars)

[djoqueery]

"this thing is rare and only affects 1% of the population" dude that's 80 million people can you shut up

[djoqueery]

i ❤️ my 3 mutuals that like my posts no matter what it is you guys are going on my will

[djoqueery]

I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

[djoqueery]

[djoqueery]

Old

But still kicking it

Ragnar unexpectedly lost his sight overnight so we’re trying to figure out what is going on and if there is a way to help him

So far we know it’s not due to his eyes, they’re working as they should, he just can’t see 😭😭😭

[djoqueery]

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

[djoqueery]

I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

[djoqueery]

The only “crypto“ I care about is cryptozoology

[djoqueery]

good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter

[djoqueery]

the problem with water is like. it's the cleaning fluid right. that's the obvious part. you stop drinking and you stop peeing and your kidneys are like ough. ough. ough. ough. but you don't die. unless you're not drinking anything At All and not eating watery food either. so all it is is you pee less but you're okay. kind of.

BUT THEN when it gets too hot it starts being the coolant! and suddenly there are so many ways it can get out! you have so many sweat glands and so much skin and they all need to be cooled down before you DIE.

but then. you realize the least obvious one. it's the transmission fluid. it's the fucking transmission fluid. you can't transmit SHIT without your fliud. which is still fucking water somehow.

so now you're LEAKING your transmission fluid out of every goddamn pore and your kidneys are like hey. gimme that cleaning fluid cmon dude. while your pores are like ITS COOLANT. NEED COOLANT. FOR THE FIRE. NEED MORE COOLANT. SO MUCH FIRE. KILL IT. KILL IT MORE. MORE COOLANT. and then. the rest of you. that uses all that fluid to transmit things. it's like hey. hey. hey what the fuck.. i need that. hello? can anyone hear me? hello? it's so dark in here..

and then you drink more water or you die.