dkmhqs - Tumblr blog

[dkmhqs]

Ever since her divorce, Candice had promised herself to not go looking for anything new. She had been with her ex since she was 17 — so living the single life was not something she had ever quite done. Not as an adult anyways. She had always been a firm believer in come what may. If someone is the right one, they will show up in your life in one way or another. Which was oddly accurate to all of this. From the very first moment they had met — there had been something there. At least some form of attraction. Something dragging her to him, and the sense of wanting to be in his presence. However, if you had told her that months later, they would be standing in her bedroom, basically open up their hearts to one another — she most likely would not have thought it to be true.

Nevertheless, she wouldn’t change it for the world. In fact, she felt happier and more content now than she had in a long time. She closed her eyes for a moment as his forehead rested against hers, just taking in the moment as she breathed calmly. At ease that she could finally let herself feel all the those things she had been trying to push away and deny. There was no need for denial anymore. Cracking a smile at his comments, Candice huffed. “Guess I’ll have to get used to another stubborn boy at my tail huh?” Tilting her head slightly, she looked at him before stealing another kiss. “Thank you for coming over. And actually speaking up about this. Or maybe you just came over for your sweater huh?”

He never really experienced the dating life until he was about eighteen, then he went out in the dating world, met a few women, two he fell in love with and then those two relationships went to shit, he blamed both his busy schedule and lack of motivation, but at least he knew this time - it would be a lot different, there was something about Candice that was so much different to the other girls. At least the both of them knew what heartbreak was like and had past mistakes - but they both knew they learnt from them for their time together. He opened up to her, more so than he did with anyone else before and it felt somewhat nice. 

A smirk on his lips as she stole another kiss from him, his eyes widened a little as he had a fake look of shock on his face, his hands sliding down to rest on her hips, grasping them so there was not a single gap between them. “Well, maybe I did originally come for my sweater, but the beautiful girl in front of me was kind of a bonus. Kinda glad she’s not going anywhere, anytime soon.”

[dkmhqs]

You know you have foodies for daughters when they jump on top of you with your apron while you’re still sleeping and scream how much they want chocolate chip pancakes. They get the food lover tendencies from me and from their father they get the screaming. Hello I’m Blake and if you want pancakes please come over and grab some. Because I made a lot.

@theglamliststarters

Damn are you going to share, I could use some food right now, but I’m too much fueled on caffiene. 

You know you have foodies for daughters when they jump on top of you with your apron while you're still sleeping and scream how much they want chocolate chip pancakes. They get the food lover tendencies from me and from their father they get the screaming. Hello I'm Blake and if you want pancakes please come over and grab some. Because I made a lot.

@theglamliststarters

[dkmhqs]

It was reassuring to her — knowing that the way her had been acting towards her for the past few days, did not have anything to do with her doing something wrong. Despite the fact that she had gone over recent events over and over again, not being able to find something as dramatically different than previously.. she would be lying if she said it had not kept her up at night. There were a bunch of different scenarios that could have been a result of it all. If one of them had just spoken up about their true feelings, then this past week could’ve been spared. But there was no point in dwelling in what could’ve been. Cause god knows how long it would have taken them to get to this moment now. So no matter what, the worst part of them, had eventually turned out to quite possibly be the best.

There was no way she could keep up the sour taste in her mouth. Not now, when he was literally standing inches away from her — wearing that smile that made her heart beat faster. For a second, their whole journey so far played in her mind. How they had been seeing each other for months, how the way they acted towards one another had changed over the course of time.. only a fool would think it wouldn’t end up like this. Nevertheless, Candice was thrilled it had. For the first time since long before her divorce, she felt that weight over her chest. But not the heavy kind.. More like the weight you felt when you had your first crush as a kid — the giddy kind. “Yeah.. absolutely.” With a gentle smile on her face, she reached up to run her thumb across his eyebrow, before her fingers travelled through his hair. “And if this is going to work — I need you to talk to me. Whenever it is, and whatever it is. Don’t push me away. I never want you to feel like you can’t talk to me — cause that’s where issued start growing. I’m gonna be here for you. I’m going to try and understand and help you through situations when you feel there is nothing left to do. I just need you to talk me okay?”

He was relieved, maybe all that fear and irrational thoughts were just him overreacting, he knew as soon as he saw her - all of that negative energy would go away and he was glad he was right. “I’m sorry for acting like a jerk, you know? You didn’t deserve that, and I apologise for even remotly making you upset and I promise, I won’t do that anymore.” Dacre gave her a sweet smile, his hands dropping down to her waist as he wrapped his arms would it, pulling her closer to him and the smile on his face - stayed. 

He nodded, listening as he agreed at her words, they did need to talk if they wanted to work - he couldn’t hide his emotions or bottle them up - only making things so much worse. “I promise, okay? and the same for you - I just...I’m just glad we came to an understanding huh?” A grin as his slid his hands up to her face, pulling her in to press a soft kiss to her lips, fingers lacing through her hair, his forehead resting on hers gently. “I guess me being stubborn has it’s perks.”

[dkmhqs]

In some way, they felt on the same page now more than ever. Sure the subject of both of their pasts had been brought up before. But it was never something they had dived deeper in — cause they had no real reason to. Despite it not being the easiest subject, she was thankful Dacre opened up about why he felt and acted like he did. Even if she had been in it even deeper with actually getting to the stage of having children and getting marries — their past experiences were fairly similar. It was obvious it had a big impact on them both and their vision of being in love. Which also explained why it had taken so long for them to get to this exact point. They shared their fears.

Closing her her for a moment as his fingers brushed against her cheek. It had only been a little over a week since she had seen him last — but it felt like way longer. Inhaling deeply her eyes locked with his again.  A smirk forming on her lips as she saw the sweet smile on his face. A genuine smile — which made her feel all sorts of things. And before she could properly think through her next words, she spoke; “You. I want you. I want us.” Chuckling slightly, her eyes diverted away from him. “Wow.” Her eyebrows raised in shock. “Did I really just say that?”  Her thumb went up to graze against her lips as she looked back up at him. Oddly enough, she was mostly in shock by how calm she felt when uttering those words. 

He knew he couldn’t argue with her for long, it was only going to end up with him agreeing with her or she’d win either way, he knew it too well. But the fact that it scared her just as much just of gave him the reassurance that he needed, he didn’t feel as bottled up or upset about everything on his mind anymore - of course she knew the way to ease everything. Maybe he should of just talked to her from the beginning, without being irrational because now he was thanking god she didn’t just tell him to fuck off - after pushing her away and ghosting her with everything to avoid the conversation. 

Hearing her say what she wanted, made his heart skip just slightly, he was a little surprised - but at the same time he wasn’t, he knew it was bound to end up like this, or for the worst, but his worries were beside him now and he had to think ahead and stop thinking of the worst. A smile curled on his lips, the first smile that wasn’t somewhat malicious or sarcastic, an actual smile as she spoke and he let out a soft sigh - a content one as he nodded, his hand brushing against her cheek. “Then that’s what I want too. I guess, this time might be a little different around, right? Mistakes help us grow into better people.”

[dkmhqs]

\It was inevitable that they would arrive at this point, somewhere down the line. For a while now, both of them had probably seeked comfort in the fact that they hadn’t had a conversation about what they were. They could just play off the moment and not have think about the root of their relationship. But at least for Candice, it had been quite a long time since she had even looked in another mans direction. That let alone spoke volumes about where her head had been. Nevertheless, she had made sure and promised herself to not let her mind wander too far — to protect herself. Yet, here she was.. telling him it was okay if he wanted to walk away. And it was. But she would be a fool if the said it’s what she wanted.

For the first time since he had stepped inside her walls today, she cracked a small chuckle. “Good to know.” She nodded with a soft smirk lingering on her lips at his comment. Her eyes followed him as he started walking up and down her room. “Hey..” She spoke up, reaching out to grab him when he was in close enough distance to her. Tugging him slightly so he was facing her — her face softened slightly. “The only way you’re gonna loose me now, is if you push me away.” Exhaling a deep breath, she let her chest ease and shoulders relax from the tension she had not even realized she had been holding. “I don’t want to loose you either. But like I said, I’m not going to force you to do anything, if you don’t want it. That’s not who I am. I get why you promised yourself to never get in to that situation again. Cause you only need to have your heart broken once, to loose faith in love. Liv was your first love. And nothing hurts more than loosing the person you thought you would spend forever with. You know — I’ve never regretted my previous relationship.. how could I? But that relationship is still and will forever be the biggest loss and heartbreak in my life. So I don’t blame you for being scared or reluctant Dacre. I really don’t.”

He felt the tug of her hand as he alerted his attention to her, turning around to face her and swallowed a huge lump in his throat, everything he wanted to say - now spilling out and apart of it? it felt good to say, like he lifted all these weights off his shoulders. A sigh as he grabbed at her hands, holding them tightly as he laced his fingers with hers, he knew it was difficult - he went through nasty break ups, all of them practically giving up all together, the fact that he felt this way about someone even after saying he wasn’t going to? it was surreal. 

He knew she had been through a lot too, at least he hadn’t gone far enough to get married, or have kids if anything - that was one step ahead she had on him. “Then what do you want, tell me what you want because honestly, whatever you want right now then I guess we have to be on the same page, right?” His thumbs brushed sweetly against her hands, of course he was terrified but as he looked at her with a sweet smile, Dacre moved his hand to motion to her cheek, brushing her blonde hair backwards behind her ear. “Maybe this is a risk. One I’m willing to take.”

[dkmhqs]

The look on his face was enough to tell her that this was something that had been on his mind for more than just the past week. That she probably hadn’t been wrong in what she felt and thought. The reason why neither of them had even brought up the subject of an actual relationship, was all rooted in that exactly — that both of them had a history where everything had gone to tell. The nights she had realized she laid awake, thinking about him, had terrified her. She hadn’t planned on catching the type of feelings she had. But only a fool would think it wasn’t bound to happen.

“Yeah and my last relationship, marriage even — went so great. Getting a divorce five months after having our second baby and all..” The tone in her voice echoed sarcasm. “I just..” She struggled to find the right words. “I don’t know what this is Dacre. It’s whatever we want it to be. But the question is just that.. what do we want?” Not even Candice was sure of that. She had an idea, but the she didn’t even want to plant that seed in her mind, in case she was about to loose him. “I get that you’re Dacre. Trust me, I do. You don’t know true heart break unless you’ve experienced. Going through it once, is more than enough. Getting involved with someone means the risk is there once again. And as long as you stay single, the risk isn’t even there — and it’s a safety zone. I get that. I’ve been there myself.” Even after her divorce, Candice had been so sure that you only have one true love in your life — she had already had hers so the likeliness of her falling for someone else, was non existent.  “There was a point after my divorce, where i sat down to truly understand my feelings and my fears. And at some point, I realized that I wasn’t afraid falling in love again. I was afraid of falling out of love again.” Candice leaned back against the wall as she looked at him. “We didn’t go in to this, thinking it would become more. I know neither of us planned for this. And it’s fucking terrifying catching feelings for someone. We should’ve had this conversation weeks ago. Not you all of the sudden growing cold towards me.” She said tilting her head slightly. “I’m not going to force you to do anything Dacre. We just need to be on the same page. If this is it or not.”

When they first started talking it wasn’t that bad, he knew what he was getting himself into but the fact it became something more and more? The more he spent time with her, the more their connection grew - he even brought her home to meet his family, what else was this? was she supposed to just be his “friend” it mixed with his mind and he just couldn’t think straight. 

His hands were in his head as he listened to her - it frustrated him, this whole situation but at the same time it broke his heart to know she felt like this, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they could risk it, after all every relationship was a risk, no one ever goes into one knowing the end result, whether it would end well or a complete disaster. “I am me...that’s the thing, I walked into this thinking it was fun but - look at you! you’re literally, the sweetest person ever and I hate you for that.” He chuckled a little, standing up to pace the room again. “I just...okay maybe I’ve been pushing you away not because I’ve suddenly stopped liking you or shit - I just...I’m terrified, that I’ll lose you eventually down the track so I just thought...it was easier to push you away.”

[dkmhqs]

She was frustrated at herself in a way, for reacting the way she did. Or rather that she was reacting at all. Candice had always thought she was fairly good at reading people. Knowing their intentions and whatnot. However, there were of course times where she was wrong as well — maybe this was one of those times. Sure, what they had was all fun and games. Yet, for the last couple of weeks it had proceeded in to what felt like there was something more than just fooling around. The last week had her more convinced that maybe that was all one sided. Which was why in one way, she could understand if he wanted to back off. Nevertheless, the last week had pissed her off more than she wanted to admit. Maybe their time was up. But if it was — at least she wanted to know that it was.

Not in the mood for jokes, Candice just sighed. Part of her didn’t want to look at his face, cause she knew herself well enough that she wasn’t able to resist that smirk — and as of now, she was dead set on keeping her the corners of her lips anywhere but turned up. At least the way he acted was some sort of indication that things had not passed him by like nothing either. And his next choice of words were another confirmation to that. Crossing her arms, her eyes followed the sweater as she thew it on the bed, before traveling to look at him. Taking another deep breath, she raised her eyebrow slightly before biting down on her bottom lip slightly and nodded. “Yeah.. I think that might be a good idea.”

He didn’t know where to start, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he didn’t want to hurt his own either, he didn’t know what to say or do - but he knew his true feelings for her, he was just the asshole who was pushing them aside to keep his own pride. Dacre ran a hand through his hair as he nervously sighed, he could either just push everything aside, all his feelings and everything and just tell her he couldn’t do it, that he couldn’t keep going before he was in too deep and that was it, but then apart of him didn’t want to ruin it - because what if this was it? His mind racing a million miles a minute that it drove him insane that the silence was deafening. 

He sat on the end of her bed with his hands covering his face, rubbing it. “I just...what is this? I’ not...I’m not supposed to like, do this we said this would just be a casual thing but, you both know damn well that it’s more than that. I don’t do this, Candice - my last relationships went to shit and I said I wasn’t going to do this again.” He was just saying word vomit at this point, more so what was on his chest more so than what was on his mind. 

[dkmhqs]

Her face let alone as a response to his sarcastic comments, gave away exactly the mood she was having. She didn’t care about what Hermann thought. Had it bee different, she would have had no issue with them meeting each other. But now? Couldn’t be a worse timing. Even if her and her ex husband weren’t on the best terms, they always took it easy when the children were around. They didn’t deserve too be upset just because their mother and father couldn’t see eye to eye. And Dacre hadn’t even met the boys. It had never gotten to that point — mostly due to the fact it was no something she would ever want to push on Dacre. Also the fact that they hadn’t even had a conversation what they were. She had not known if it would ever get to that point, where he would meet them. And by the way he had acted for the past week, she had become fairly convinced it probably wouldn’t.

“Shut up..” She mumbled as her hands waved him off upstairs. Resting her hands on her hips, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Anaca! Ariel! C’mon — dad is here.” Within seconds she heard their tiny feet run across the house, backpacks in their hands. “So who’s car is in the driveway?” She heard Hermann ask once he appeared at the door. “A friend.” Candice responded and thankfully the look she gave him, had him understanding there was no use in questioning it further. Crouching down to give the boys their hugs and kissing them. “Okay, now remember — Mama loves you to the moon and back. Call me whenever and I’ll see you next time. Love you boys.” She waved them off as they sprinted down to the car, before she closed the door. Leaning back against it, she exhaled deeply before making her way up the stairs. Walking past him, she made her way in to the bedroom and walked over the cabinet where she had folded his sweater. “I gave it a wash.. Because.. Yeah, why not..” She said holding out the sweater for him.

He was trying to think of what to say as he paced up and down in her room, rolling his eyes at the thought and starting an argument in his own head that he knew damn well he was going to lose, it wasn’t until he heard her make her way back up to the stairs, bracing himself for the conversation that he knew they had to have, or avoid having. “Ah, so you’re done playing happy families now? I’m so glad I can hide out in your room - it’s funny how it’s on these terms though huh?” He smirked and said in a cocky, pissed off tone, reaching out to take the sweater from her. When it was over the phone, he could be cold with her - push her away easily because he didn’t have to see her face, but now? it was different, she was in front of him and well, it wasn’t as easy when she was right there. “You know I haven’t done that in a while, hide out in a girls room or pushed into a wardrobe - guess it makes me feel at home huh?” He joked again, the fact he was using his sarcastic humour to pass off the fact that it sucked, everything sucked - the fact that it wasn’t even her fault that he was acting like this, it was his, trying to push her away was one thing but a part of him hoped that it didn’t work. 

“Okay, fine. Thanks...I guess but I’m not here for the damn sweater.” He threw the sweater down on her bed. “I’m here to talk to you, actually. About, stuff. Stuff that I think you probably know what we need to talk about.”

[dkmhqs]

Candice was no sure what she had expected from whatever it was that her and Dacre had had. It had been playful in a way, right from the get go. There had never really been a discussion at all about what they were or where it may possibly lead to. But it had been clear that they didn’t need to put a label on it. They had just been having fun and enjoying each others company. Candice was aware that Dacre wasn’t looking for a relationship, and neither was she. Being divorced and juggling single mother life, the last thing on her mind had been to get in to a relationship again. Which was why everything had been so good with Dacre. It had been many aspects of a relationship, without the actual commitment part of it. Something she had been fine with.. Until recently, where she had started realizing that maybe she was in it deeper than she thought. However, before she had even gotten the chance to start pushing those type of thoughts away — he had grown cold towards her. No real text conversations, no getting together, and only short replies. She didn’t want to care. Candice wish that it didn’t bother her. But it had. At the same time as she was in no way going to push him. Maybe she had fucked it up. Maybe he had led her on to other thoughts and scared him away.

In the middle of her normal spring cleaning, she had found his sweater that he left here a couple of weeks ago. By the vibe of his text messages, he was reluctant to even wanting to see her — which was why she had offered to just put it outside so he could pick it up whenever he wanted without having to see her. “Ariel no!” She half yelled, as she saw him running around with one of the toys she had just packed down in to his bag. “I’ve literally just put that in to your bag so you’ll have it with you to daddy.” Kissing the top of his head, she took it placed it back in his bag. “Mommy’s sorry okay? She didn’t mean to yell at you.” Hugging him, a wave of guilt washed over her as she saw the look on his face. The last thing she wanted was to take out her stress over the boys. When there was a knock on the door, she threw a quick glance over at the clock. “Dad is early today boys. C’mon collect your things now.” She wasn’t expecting Hermann for another 15 minutes. Opening the door as she picked up the boys shoes from the floor, “Hi I..” She stopped mid track as she came face to face with Dacre. “Oh..” Was all she could let out. “Sorry, I thought you were..” Before she could finish her sentence, Hermanns car pulled up on the driveway. Exhaling deeply, she could feel her headache rising. “Just.. come..” She said pulling Dacre inside. Pushing him towards the stairs that were just next to the door, before the boys could see him. “Just go up there whilst I do this exchange and I’ll get your sweater as soon as they’re gone.”

He didn’t know what he was going to be like when she answered, was he going to just take his shit and go, have his final say and head back home? He didn’t know, his impulse control was unpredictable at this point in time and he knew when it came to her, it was even more so unpredictable. Before he could even say anything, he noted the surprise on her face - raising his brow as he let out a soft chuckle, more so a malicious, sarcastic one if anything. “What? you’re not happy to see me?” He scoffed as he joked (slightly) his dark blue eyes rolling as he felt her literally push him as if he was playing a serious game of hide and seek or something - yeah, he knew it wasn’t exactly the right moment to meet her sons, but he knew exactly the fact her ex husband was at the door. 

“Oh what? you don’t want me to meet the husband? I always love a good family reunion.” He smirked, trying to get a rise out of her but he knew it wasn’t going to work - he put up his hands in defence, his eyes widened as he muttered “Okay okay.” To her the second his feet hit the stairs, walking up - feeling as if he was being caught having an affair, something wild like that. He was muttering to himself, he should of just played that game of ding dong ditch. 

[dkmhqs]

DACRE MONTGOMERY for Stranger Things x H&M Collection (2019), ph. Matt Jones

[dkmhqs]

Dacre knew it wasn’t her fault, the fact he was hit hard with feelings for her was something that practically was on his mind constantly, so constant that he was going to use every power he had to destroy it before he got hurt, he enjoyed being single, happy but now - he was even more happier, but the thought of a relationship or even asking someone out? it was too much, so of course in true fashion, he was short with her, tried to push her away and he hoped it worked, all though apart of him was kicking himself inside. He went to her place, letting her know he was going to pick up his sweater - he wouldn’t of even worried about it but it was like apart of him was dragging him to see her. Shoving his phone in his pocket as he cleared his throat, walking up to the front door and he saw the sweater on the doorstep, placing it in his fingers and he could of just ran back to his car and drove off - that was it, he didn’t have to see or talk to her but instead - he did the thing he swore he wouldn’t do. He knocked on her door. 

Maybe she was mad, he could just dip and go back to his car and play a game of ding dong dash, but inside his mind he didn’t think about it, practically gluing himself to her front step and not moving away until she answered. @swanepoel-c

[dkmhqs]

𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 — candice

candice: right.

candice: you good yeah?

dacre: [read]

[dkmhqs]

You two are all kinds of messed up. It’s no wonder fans still ship you two, you practically serve them content on a silver platter. And I thought part of our vows were no more naked pillow fights with Dacre? That boys been breaking that promise since day one hasn’t he? 

You love us, it was just me and him until you came along and got between us. Ha, my friend was trying to show me fan fiction the other day I had to stop, I might send some to Joe to freak him out. Sorry he broke your vows, looks like he’s up for grabs again, thank god. 

[dkmhqs]

𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 — candice

candice: alright 👍

dacre: alright cool talk

[dkmhqs]

𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 — candice

candice: right ok.

candice: i can drop it off if you want?

candice: or i'll just put it outside my door so you can pick it up whenever you want/need

dacre: i'll just pick it up it's fine.

[dkmhqs]

𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 — candice

candice: hey

candice: you left your blue sweater here the other day.

candice: just so you know where it is in case you go looking for it.

dacre: k, thanks.

[dkmhqs]

scarsons·:

choke. @dkmhqs·

make me.