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[dkyoungone]

Counter Strike

I’m really excited for next semester. Not only am I taking almost all online classes, I also get to participate in Counter Strike tournaments as I am apart of the varsity Counter Strike team at the university I attend. I am eager to see what kind of noise our team can make, we have been developing good chemistry and I am fully committed to the team. I want to be the best I can, and having the extra time at home to be able to practice is going to be extremely beneficial to me in that regard. I guess that will just be a good thing in general as I am one that is not fond of going outside of my room, I don’t like to leave my house, I would much rather work on things in my home than outside of it. I have my comfort space here and I don’t have to spend any money on gas just to be here. I don’t have to walk in the cold or in the inversion and I can really focus on the things I need to focus on without worrying about going to class everyday as every class but one is online. The only in person class I am taking is a Piano class, so that would make sense as to why they do not offer the class online. Either way I am going to have a lot more time to practice Counter Strike, I am determined to be the best player I can be to potentially play professionally. That would be the best case scenario as I would be getting paid to play the game I love, and participating in tournaments with the best teams in the world.

[dkyoungone]

Irony

Is it ironic to say I have run out of things to say? If I say I have run out of things to say that instantly becomes a thing to say, a conversation starter, so in reality, you really never run out of things to say. People will sit in silence without speaking not knowing what to say but if one of them say, “welp, i don’t have anything else to say” that turns into a talking point where the other person may ask, “Why do you have nothing to say, is it a lost interest in the conversation, or is it your fear of saying something I may not agree with or like?” There are conversation starters all over the place even if you have run out of a main speaking topic. A lot of people don’t like small talk, so there is a lot of area for deep conversation within those words as well. If you ask me, not having anything to say leads to the best conversations due to the spontaneous and random nature of the topics that emerge from the silence. The things we talk about in the most silent of times can lead to conversations of understanding and peace between different ideals. There are so many words in the english language, and just a lot of words in general, so topics for conversation should not be super difficult to come by if you know where to look. You can talk about the way the wind is moving and how that might be happening. You can talk about the way the stars move across the night sky, or the way the moon seems to visibly shift in position when you focus on it in the night sky. Talking about nothing can also bring about interesting topics you generally wouldn’t think of, which lead to better conversation. Overall the absence of knowing what to say is never a negative thing, you just have to decide how to handle that silence.

[dkyoungone]

Competitive Pokemon

This is something people probably don’t know about unless you are involved in the pokemon community or are involved in esports. Competitive pokemon battling, in the trading card game and the video games, has been a past time for many pokemon fans for a long time, its been a while since I’ve really wanted to play competitively since I play Counter Strike for the university, but when I do play, I get into it, I use shiny pokemon, I come up with unorthodox teams that may beat some of the meta (or really good and most played) teams in the current season. There are over 850 pokemon and everyone is going to be able to find a competitive playstyle they likeif they sit down and play a few matches with a few different teams. Understandably, there are the world class players, which I am not one of, and you have the amateurs. Most of the competitive battling scene is amateur and generally local tournaments don’t have a lot of prize money so it definitely wouldn’t be a good career choice, but it is a very fun past time if you want to train your brain in strategy and quick thinking. There are a set of vgc, or video game competition, rules that Nintendo sends out and updates every few months as a way to get players in the know of what they can and can’t use. There are also timers to make sure the matches flow smoothly and quickly from one to the next without a hitch. It is pretty insane how much pokemon has grown in the past couple years, there have been so many people in the twitch streams and youtube comments looking for strategies and battle teams to battle against other trainers with. Even though it isn’t the most extreme esport or the most lucrative, it is understandable why the game and its competitive scene is so popular.

[dkyoungone]

Shiny Pokemon

Well, if you like hunting for an extremely low chance at getting a differently colored pokemon, then shiny hunting would definitely be for you. The odds specifically are around 1/4096. You can, however, make your odds better through various methods used throughout the different games. It can take a really long time, as the shiny is never guaranteed. It is only a chance that it shows up, so that means there’s a chance you find it on the first encounter and a chance you never find it at all, both are likely and plausible. If you shiny hunt enough you are bound to get one eventually, so it would definitely be a good idea to hunt for the pokemon you like the most or for the shiny pokemon you like the best, as they are all different and a shiny someone else doesn’t like could be your favorite shiny of all time. There is a huge community for shiny hunting and it is a super hot topic once the main player base has beaten the game. Along with competitive team building, shiny hunting is by far the favorite post game past time of many trainers across the world. Shines are coveted commodities and people will hunt from hours, to days, and to weeks, just to get a glimpse at a shiny pokemon. I personally love collecting shiny pokemon and through the two and a half week life of Pokemon Sword and Shield, I have already collected 4 shinies. I found my first shiny, a shiny Dreepy from an egg, which has now evolved into a Dragapult. To my knowledge it was one of the first shiny Dreepy in the world as I received it on the second or third day that the games were out. After that I had about a week and a half where I just couldn’t find any shinies for the life of me. In the middle of my hunt, my fiance wanted to start shiny hunting her favorite pokemon. So I showed her how. She then proceeded to get a shiny within the first 20 minutes of shiny hunting, and I was still working hard looking for my shinies. A few days after that, I was shiny hunting something completely different, and I received an egg that had my second shiny, a shiny Jangmo’o. I was obviously very excited about this and freaked out at 2 am. The next thing I know I am resuming one of my previous hunts and less than 5 minutes into my encounters I get another shiny, the one I was ORIGINALLY looking for, Impidimp. I was ecstatic, and I was awake at that point which meant I wasn’t sleeping that night. I mainly shiny hunt for my competitive teams so the pokemon I get from shiny hunting generally will go towards a competitive battling team that I can use in tournaments or battles with friends. Anyways, shiny hunting is a lot of fun and I recommend any pokemon fan to try it out some day, even if you don’t have a ton of patience, it is extremely worth it, in my opinion.

[dkyoungone]

Thomas Kuhn and the Scientific Paradigm

Before we look into what Thomas Kuhn’s thesis actually is, we must look into the terms that stand behind it and make it up. Kuhn describes “normal science” as, “research firmly based upon one or more past scientific achievements.”(Kuhn, 475) Essentially, this means the day to day tasks within science, or as Kuhn puts it, the “puzzle solving.” Kuhn also uses the word “paradigm” as a term to describe the CURRENTLY accepted set of theories or scientific practice. An example of a paradigm would be what Einstein’s theories of Relativity is to physics today. In addition to normal science, Kuhn also describes “revolutionary science” as a form of scientific anarchy after a scientific crisis, which Kuhn says is the breaking point at which the paradigm starts to see problems (or anomalies) build up to an unmanageable level. This scientific anarchy is as close as we can get to what Kuhn calls pre-paradigmatic science, or the science without widespread communication and agreement on areas of study and disciplines, such as the time of the Greeks, Mayans, Aztecs, and other great civilizations that performed science, but did not share that information outside of their known circle of countries and communities. Kuhn also believed in the principle of incommensurability, or the principle that two theories cannot be objectively compared to one another. Kuhn argues this mainly because he believes that you cannot objectively judge one past theory or future theory through the lens of the current paradigm, that view, he believes, is forever tainted. Knowing the terms, we can now take a look at what Kuhn viewed as the “cycle” of scientific revolutions. First, there is pre-paradigmatic science, which we described before. The cycle then starts when a paradigm is accepted and “normal science” begins. Through the practice of normal science, anomalies (problems that cannot be described under the current paradigm) arise in the various theories under the paradigm. In most cases, these anomalies are resolved and normal science continues. If enough anomalies build up enough or one problematic enough to cause a major breakdown in the theory comes up, the scientific practice may enter a crisis. This crisis is also described as scientific anarchy, however this is a more controlled and informed anarchy that pre-paradigmatic science. After the crisis, comes a paradigm shift, where the paradigm shifts to a newer, more explanatory theory that the scientific community accepts. After the paradigm shift, or the revolution, normal science resumes and the cycle begins again.

One criticism to Kuhn’s view is the absence of absolute truth in regard to the principle of incommensurability. This view argues that under Kuhn’s logic, absolute truth cannot exist since we view the world through the lens of the current paradigm instead on one previous. Another criticism is that the paradigm may be wrong even though it is widely accepted, and can that may be considered truth and has been considered truth in the past. This presses on Kuhn by saying that what we practice and teach may not be correct at all under his view.

[dkyoungone]

Scientific Realism vs Anti-Realism

Scientific realism, according to Okasha is basically explained as, “Realists hold that science aims to provide a true description of the world, and that it often succeeds.” (Okasha, 55) In contrast to scientific realism, the scientific anti-realist view is described by Okasha as, “anti-realists hold that the aim of science is to find theories that are empirically adequate…” (Okasha, 55) One of the main differences between these two philosophies other than what has already been stated is the stance on the “unobservable.” Okasha states that this is prominent in physics a large part of physics deals with the subatomic, “atoms, electrons, quarks, leptons, and other strange entities, none of which can be observed in the normal sense of the world…” (Okasha, 55) This matters because realists argue that theories that have to do with the unobservable are legitimate and are attempts to describe the real world. Anti-realists on the other hand, would say that many of these things, such as certain subatomic particles or theoretical forms of matter, such as dark matter, are placeholders for the actual objects we are trying to explain. However, there is an issue. How do we determine between what is observable and what is not? Okasha states this falls on the scientific realists due to the assumption from anti-realists that there is a clear and distinct line between the observable and unobservable.

In addition to this overarching argument, there are also supporting arguments and problems with each side. One of these arguments is the “No Miracles” argument. Essentially, it says that it would be a phenomenal coincidence if a theory that proposes particles such as atoms and electrons made accurate predictions if they did not exist. (Okasha, 59) According to Okasha, an anti-realist response to the “no miracles” argument would be that many experiments and theories that were empirically successful in their day were proven to be false in ours. Okasha says that this is a very powerful argument against the “no miracles” argument, but it is debatable whether or not it buries it.

Personally, it is extremely hard to pick a side, as there are two extremes that both have good points. I personally wouldn’t subscribe to either if it was an exclusive lock to one or the other. It feels like both sides share my views to an extent, but also make oversights that make me turn away from both. If I were to place myself I would be in the middle of both sides of the issue. To me there are too many good points from both sides to really pin down a solid stance on the issue, given only two choices. 

[dkyoungone]

Deductive Nomological Argumentation

The Deductive Nomological model of argument, designed by Carl Hempel, is a model of argument that first, follows the argument structure of a deductive argument, and second, requires a universal law of nature in order to provide explanation. According to Hempel, this explanation is synonymous with being a prediction. Hempel also introduces what he calls “explanans” and the “explanandum” as components to the explanation. The explanans are the observations and the laws used to ratify the explanation. The explanandum is the entity (as in an event, law, or observation] to be explained.  In addition to these base principles, Hempel came up with a “Criteria of Adequacy”(Hempel) that includes 4 logical conditions that he believes can prove the adequacy of an explanation. These logical conditions are: first, “the explanandum must be the logical consequence of the explanans,”(Hempel) (this must also be deductively valid). Second, “explanans must contain at least one general law of nature.”(Hempel) Third, “the explanans must have empirical context, meaning they must be at the very least theoretically testable by experimentation or observation”, (Hempel) and fourth, “the propositions in the explanans must be true.” (Hempel) 

An event that would fit Hempel’s model would be two vehicles of different mass moving at the same velocity. The first condition is covered because it is logical to think that the heavier of the two objects would hit harder when moving at the same speed. The second condition is met as the law that would be enacted is Newton’s second law of motion, which declares Force is equal to the mass of an object multiplied by its acceleration. The third condition is met as well. There are ways to measure the force of two objects moving at the same speed and also ways to measure the acceleration and mass of each object. The fourth condition is met as Newton’s second law has proven to be true through countless trials and experiments, and we can also verify the weights and speeds of each object through the use of different tools.

Hempel’s model works very well in some cases, but in others, it completely breaks down. Such is the case when it comes to explaining psychology. Psychology is generally considered a science, however, under Hempel’s DN model of scientific explanation, psychology can’t be explained scientifically. The condition that disagrees with psychology the most would be the second condition, the covering law condition. In psychology it is almost impossible to have a universal law that explains everything. When it comes to the human brain, everyone’s brain is different, even if it’s a slight difference. These differences make it impossible to come up with laws that would fit every person that ever lived. One main criticism of Hempel’s model is that it’s too limiting, specifically the second condition. Some sciences just can’t have laws like psychology, so it would be throwing out areas of study most scientists generally consider scientific. That would be extremely unfair to those who study those disciplines for a living and have devoted countless hours to their research.

[dkyoungone]

Colorful Language

In Zitkála-Šá’s American Indian Stories, she uses different language to show her connection, or disconnection to Native culture. This language is more colorful towards the beginning of her life, when she is in tune with her culture and family. As the stories progress, and as she is assimilated more into the eurocentric culture of the United States, the language loses color and becomes more black and white, then gains a fair amount of color again towards the ending. This disconnection is important because Zitkála-Šá seems to resent the eurocentric world for the horrors it put her family and ancestors through for a time during her boarding school days. If she is disconnected from her ancestor’s culture, then the white men won. They accomplished their goal for her. However, she doesn’t heavily identify one way or another, or as Ron Carpenter, in Zitkála-Šá and Bicultural Subjectivity puts it, she is more bicultural, so the color seems to even out towards the end.

First, let’s define what I mean by colorful language, obviously, colors are involved, but color in this sense can also mean a descriptive adjective to give life and visualisation to the story. Speaking of the white man’s goal at the time, to “eradicate the indian,” this usually started at a young age for Native Americans being forcefully taken to a “boarding school” to learn how life in the United States works. In this process, the goal of white men was to “erase” the culture from the Native kids. Before Zitkála-Šá was taken away, her language was very colorful, this represents a strong connection to Native culture. For example, in “My Mother” in American Indian Stories, she uses many colorful adjectives, such as “weather-stained canvas,” in the first sentence, “my mother came to draw water from the muddy stream…” this is just the first page and the picture Zitkála-Šá paints, quite literally, is full of color and life. I really could site the entire story as just a world of color, because it really is.  “...laughing with glee,” “no less spirit than a bounding deer.” The language literally shows you what her life was like, what she was like as a child, how colorful she viewed the world. It shows the innocence of her as a child, it shows that she is connected to the stories of her people, to the culture of her ancestors. It shows survivance, the stories she’s heard as a child stick with her as a child and they make the world around her seem more colorful giving the adjective heavy, color filled reading that is present in the first story, “Impressions of an Indian Childhood.”  In addition to the colorful world, Zitkála-Šá uses the term paleface to mean the white man. This can be interpreted as a face without color, culture or honor. That quite literally shows a disconnect of cultures. The culture of the white man the “paleface,” and the culture of the “bronzed Dakota.” She uses the word “bronzed” on purpose to represent the color in the situation. Color represents Native culture, and the lack thereof, like the paleface, represents the disconnect from Native culture. All of these examples are in the first part of the story. In the second chapter, there are some more examples, “skipping and jumping with delight,” “...and laughed so heartily,” “bright flames,” “they sat around in a great circle.” “the blue star upon his bronzed forehead was a puzzle to me,” “rebuke me for my boldness” These last two are examples of color that is both literal color, and metaphorical color, the second one in particular is extremely elegant to get across the idea of scolding for curiosity. Either way, you get it, there are a lot of colors in this first story, so let’s jump ahead to part VII of this story. “Big Red Apples.” The title is important here, as the very next part is the first chapter of the next story. Notice the wording, Big. Red. Apples. Three words. Two to describe the apples. The first chapter of the next story, “The School Days of an Indian Girl” is titled” The Land Of Red Apples.” Not BIG red apples, just red apples. This is already a loss of colorful language, in a sense, it’s subtle, but it’s there. 

Now that we’re on the topic of the second story, “The School Days of an Indian Girl,” we might as well take a look at the color shown within the story shall we? Towards the beginning of this story, the language shares similarities with the first story, saying things like, “Under a sky of rosy apples…” Soon after this line, starts a steep decline in adjectives and color in the language. It’s much more direct and to the point. For example, when she is on the train she says, “This embarrassed me, and kept me constantly on the verge of tears.”(Page 88 in my book, or first section of “The School Days of an Indian Girl”) This quote is rather straightforward. No flowery or pretty language, just the point being made without an adjective to describe the tears, no adjective to describe the embarrassment, just the words. This is the first time this happens when describing something significant in the stories I am citing. This is the first time that I feel Zitkála-Šá may feel alone, abandoned, or betrayed by her people, and the “palefaces” or white men. The color disappears and I visualize a dark, bleak setting. Later on, she notices the telephone poles and focuses on them, in her words, “In this way I had forgotten my uncomfortable surroundings…” After this point, the color returns, the reading is filled with an unexplainable life that seems to seep from the writing. An example of the color coming back, two paragraphs after the previous quote would be, “Entering the house, I stood close against the wall. The strong glaring in the large whitewashed room dazzled my eyes.” The color is returned, yet it isn’t in a resentment of the white man, it is in amazement of the new surroundings and excitement of a new world they were yet to explore and find out about. Obviously, this doesn’t last… directly after this emotion of amazement and words of color and description, Zitkála-Šá writes of a cultural difference that makes her cry, a white woman tossed her up in the air, higher each time, and Zitkála-Šá writes, “My mother had never made a plaything of her wee daughter. Remembering this I began to cry aloud.” She was not amused, and the excitement, the wonder, the color, disappeared almost instantly. This only description word comes in the form of a self description, and she describes herself as wee. Small. The rest of that chapter of this story describes the stay the first night and the dinner following her incident with the white woman. Very little color is shown. She describes the hallway, the beds, her tears, stairs, and the brown faces sleeping in the beds. She describes the surroundings but not in nearly as much relative detail as she described the act of happily running in the first story. She feels disconnected from her family, she wanted to go home, she didn’t like it at all that first night. The disconnect shows through very little color, and that disconnect is important because like I said before, if the child is completely disconnected from their original culture, the paleface has won. There is still some color in the language, symbolizing that she is thinking of her family, and she has them in her heart. When her and her friends got in trouble for playing in the snow in chapter III, she describes in much detail the situation and events of the disciplining of her friend. This symbolizes the connection to her culture, she is starting to very much dislike the white people from the way they treat the Dakota and other Native tribes’ youth. It shows she has stronger feelings for her Native culture than the euro american culture that is being forced upon her. She sees that the land they wound up in is not the land neither her or her friends imagined it to be. In the next few chapters, she explains how she got revenge on some turnips, and the language gets more colorful and descriptive. She is more proud of her heritage and would like to go back, just like before. However, she also says, “I blamed the hard-working, well-meaning, ignorant woman…” for the death of her friend, “a dear classmate,” this language shows that, she is acknowledging the ignorance of the woman, but recognizes the hard work she supposedly does, and perceives that she means well. This is another example of the biculturalism Ron Carpenter talks about in his essay. The words to me are torn between two worlds, a distaste for the whites for being ignorant enough to let young Native children die due to their broken, strict “iron routine,” and a sort of respect for the hard work and good will, if you can even call it that, of the paleface. The color shows that as well, as it is detailed, yet not as much as the first story, and not as little detail as the moments where Zitkála-Šá felt alone or betrayed. 

In conclusion, Zitkála-Šá’s American Indian Stories, uses colorful language (Defined for our purposes as detailed and descriptive, life-giving language that helps us visualize the world an author or poet paints.) to describe the connection or disconnection to Zitkála-Šá’s Native culture. In the end, I argue that she is more bicultural and the color throughout the rest of the story reflects that as an appreciation for the wondrous things the paleface has built and created, and also a resentment of them for the mindset of  “teach the uncivilized,” death, and destruction they brought to her family and tribe. This balance of cultures in Zitkála-Šá’s life is reflected in the stories she writes in her autobiography. The color in her writing fluctuates with moments of feeling alone, moments of being extremely connected to her Native culture and a mix of the two where she feels connected to both worlds.

[dkyoungone]

Philosophy of Science: What is Science?

Okasha states, “...science is a heterogeneous activity, encompassing a wide range of disciplines and theories. It may be that they share some fixed set of features which define what it is to be a science, but it may not.” (Okasha, 15) He said defining science as the observation and understanding of the universe is really broad and can let in some fields of study that most scientists would  never consider science.(Okasha, 2) Okasha does however explain actions and practices that separate science from other areas of study. He states there must be some kind of theory crafting involved, or there is some kind of drive to figure out what every set of results mean in terms of the theory. He then goes onto explain the role of philosophy of science and how it can help shed light on what science really is. He said, “One of the main tasks of philosophy of science is to understand how techniques such as experimentation, observation, and theory construction have enabled scientists to unravel so many of nature’s secrets.”(Okasha, p.2) This is the way Okasha explains philosophy of science and its goals.

Another goal of philosophy of science is to analyze ways of thinking and figure out whether or not they would be a good way of defining science or not. An example of this would be Karl Popper and his “falsifiability criteria.” In essence, the falsifiability criteria gave a set of rules that Popper believed could prove a discipline as science. First, Popper believed that every theory can be confirmed depending on what you look for. Second, Popper believed that a scientific theory is a prohibition, or a set of rules. Third, he states that any theory that isn’t refutable is non-scientific and should be disregarded. Popper also believed that every experiment is an attempt to falsify. He believes that there must be some sort of corroboration between scientists to confirm results of the theory. Popper saw Freud’s theory as pseudoscience due to the impossibility to falsify it. He argued that Freudians can apply Freudian theory to any behavior and come up with positive results for the theory, and if they don’t they come up with excuses to save the theory. 

In terms of Popper, there was the accidental discovery of Neptune. The discovery method was unorthodox, as it changed fundamental physics they used completely without reason to try and save Newton’s theory. Under Popper’s logic, the discovery of Neptune would be pseudoscience. I think that it is pseudoscience, as it is very much blasphemous to rewrite Newtonian physics without reason. I will say however, that a scientific result did come from the ad hoc actions of Adams and Leverrier. I consider it pseudoscience as the act itself of substituting a planet isn’t always going to work as seen with the planet Vulcan theory. I consider the methods of Adams and Leverrier pseudoscience, even though they generated a scientific explanation for the unexpected orbit of Uranus.

[dkyoungone]

Wedding

This whole prepping for the wedding this is really starting to get on my nerves. Everyone says it is our day, but everyone else wants to plan it for us and make suggestions about things we don’t want suggestions on. We know what we want for our wedding, for the most part, and we want to plan it ourselves. People just don’t really understand what we want to do though so I guess it’s fine. We’ll deal with it for now and then when we finally get married it’ll be very much a burden off of our shoulders. I know its going to be amazing when we do get married, but getting to that point is going to be agonizingly slow for both of us and i just can’t wait to actually get married. I’m really, really excited and I know it’s going to be great, I’m marrying my best friend in the world, what more could I ask for? I know marriage is challenging and that it takes a lot of effort, but it is worth the effort for those we love. I know I am super young to be getting married, but I still feel like it’s the right decision for both of us, we both want to be independent from our parents and from their money, so we both are going to work extra hard to get everything we can done to make sure we can have good jobs and have a good living situation when we finally move in together.

[dkyoungone]

Fatigue

There to be a theme this semester. I see I have a test, I study for said test, I review the night before and stay up all night to not miss the test, I forget things, and I miss stupid points on said test. This is going to happen tonight and tomorrow. I won’t sleep tonight due to the studying I have to do today, either that or I can go into the tutoring center tomorrow before my test, thinking about it, that probably is the best course of action since  my class in at 7 pm. I think I’ll do that. I like to write out my thoughts because instead of just waiting for it to happen, I’m actually going to be proactive and get some sleep tonight. This post isn’t turning out exactly how I imagined it, but its working. I actually like that idea more. I need some sleep, so once I finish everything I need to tonight I will go to bed and wake up tomorrow to go to the tutoring center to get help with my study guide. Easy. That wasn’t so hard to think of, I guess. It may be the fatigue preventing me from thinking straight. That is probably what it is. This has just been one giant tangent that went from one end of my brain to another. Attempting to think of words to write down in a tumblr post while you are extremely tired is not the best experience in the world but I’m glad I can actually get this out of the way. I’m tired and I want to go to bed really bad, but I just need to get out a couple more posts before I hit the sack. 

[dkyoungone]

Interest

I lose interest in things easily. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I lose interest in things I am generally passionate about, when I don’t have time I just lose all interest in anything beyond what I need to be doing and it just becomes a hellish mindscape that I need to get out of to function normally. Otherwise, I won’t sleep, eat, or drink due to the energy I’m putting into said project or group of projects. I know I have ADHD and depression, so that may be a contributor to that, but I know that at some point my interests will have to come back, they always do, and when I think about the interests I’m ignoring it gives me anxiety. I just don’t have the time in the day to do what I want and that honestly scares me. Time as a whole is just weird because if you think about it, 24 hours is not a long time. One day is an extremely short amount of time and it just keeps going. I’m scared that I won’t have the time to do the things I love, I know I can do the things I love given the time in the day, but the deadlines given to me, the expectations from the world sometimes are too much to bear and it gets a little lonely, even though I have my wonderful fiance at my side. She really is the rock that grounds me to my sanity at the moment. Without her, I would have surely failed every one of my classes this semester, she has been the one pushing me and I’m so grateful for her. 

[dkyoungone]

Pokemon

With the new games having been released recently it is the time of the year where I start to yearn for more money to buy more games. I love video games and love to play all different kinds, however, one game series will always stick out to me as one of the best and most calming to me. Pokemon has had a hug impact in my life for as long as I can remember. I remember always wanting a Pokemon game and wished that I would be able to befriend all of my favorite Pokemon in the region of my choice. It was miserable for a while, since so many of my friends had the games and had been playing for years, while I was still messing around with Pokemon cards on the playground. For a long time, Pokemon has been one of my major escapes when I was having a rough time, it just helps me, I don’t know why, but it does. It calms me down and I start to feel really happy because for some reason, Pokemon eases my anxiety, maybe it has something to do with the nostalgia factor or maybe it really is therapeutic. I’m not sure, all I know is that it works for me. That’s all I can ask for. When life was getting really tough, I would just crack open my game and just play for a little bit, whether it was battling, shiny hunting, or just hanging out in the game world, it always has had a calming effect on me and I’m forever thankful to Game Freak and Nintendo for that. I’m not sure if other people feel the same way about Pokemon as I do, all I know is that it is super popular and people tend to love the franchise for its wonderful characters and fun gameplay.

[dkyoungone]

Determination

I am determined to do everything I need to do to finish this semester with my sanity intact. I am determined to finish every project, writing piece, and study guide to do my best in my classes and attempt to pass this semester that has not been kind to my mental health in the slightest. I am determined to make sure my fiance has everything she needs in terms of her mental health and emotional support, as she deserves the world and I want to see her happy and healthy. I am determined to find a solution to my negative habits regarding school and other areas of my life. I am determined to do everything in my power to be a force of positive change in the world. I am determined to create something so special that the world will see what I see in the stories I write and bring to life. I am determined to play to the best of my ability in Counter Strike and to improve consistently to help my team grow. I am determined to be a decent human being who accepts other people for themselves and never judges based on appearance or any other factors. I am determined to know the secrets of the universe and to unravel the mysteries we have yet to discover. I am determined to understand things that have little understanding. I am determined to be the best person, husband, father, brother, and son I could possibly be. I am determined to love myself for who I am, and to never put myself down due to a minor inconvenience. I am determined.

[dkyoungone]

Sleep

Honestly, if I never had to sleep to function properly as a human being, I would totally, 100%, do it if it meant that I could be more productive. There isn’t enough time in the day to have a state where I lie unconscious for multiple hours at a time when I have so much I want to do during the day. I frustrates me to no end that animals have this innate ability to pass out whenever their brain feels like it needs to go unconscious for a while. Don’t get me wrong, sleep feels amazing, but it just wastes so much time I could be using to do other things. When I have multiple tests on consecutive days, my anxiety doesn’t let me go to bed, and I end up pulling consecutive all nighters just to make sure my information is good before I go to take the test. Then when I end up taking the test, I forget all of the information I JUST studied. I hate sleep and hate that I have to do it, but at the same time, I love it and literally can’t live without it. Personally, I don’t want to sleep, I think it’s stupid and kills any productivity I have. I just want to pursue my passions and work without having my body give out on me 18 hours into the day. As I’m writing this, in the past 48 hours I have slept a total of about 3 to 4 hours. I have had to do so much for the end of the semester in terms of finals and projects that sleep just was not possible for a majority of the time. Anyways, have a good night.

[dkyoungone]

Portfolio Epilogue Final Draft

To start off, I believe writing is a very good way to release creative energy, to vent, to let off emotion, to express curiosity and so much more. It allows you to write anything down and bring it to life and to come back later and see what exactly you were thinking at the moment you were writing it. I think writing is a beautiful thing that allows complete creative expression through the use of language, regardless of what language you speak, there are always going to be ways to write out your feelings in a descriptive and powerful way. It’s motivating to me to say that I enjoy writing even if it is for school, maybe I just like typing on my computer, maybe I like the sound the keys make when I get into a rhythm with writing. Maybe I like the way the words fall onto the page. Most likely I think it’s the way I can express myself through words I didn’t even know were there, through thoughts and emotions that I find difficult to express through speaking. Writing to me is one of the purest forms of art as it can take so many shapes and forms.

I believe revising is entirely necessary to the creative process, without revising, my paper would have had multiple severe informational flaws that would have destroyed my argument had I not fixed them and made them correct. This happened in my bibliography and my research paper, I had to fix issue that had to do with grammar. They were simple mistakes but still needed to be fixed in order for me to be satisfied with my paper. I type pretty fast and often times my thoughts fly faster than my fingers and they just can’t catch up to what I’m thinking. Revising is the author’s best friend beside their writing device. Revising is the only way I am ever able to get decent grades on my papers because I am a careless writer and mistakes seem to just fit their way into my drafts, even though I look over every sentence before moving on.

I believe writing courses are absolutely necessary to the college experience. They are the best friend of one who is going into a graduate degree and has to write a dissertation. They are the best friend of the struggling student who needs help researching for their other classes, and they have a course to help them with grammar, research, and other aspects of their projects.

Well. It’s done. I’m finished with my project. It actually happened. I’m not going to lie, I honestly didn’t know if I had the concentration to sit down and do all of this. It was really hard for me. I took lots of breaks, I napped, I played Skyrim, Oblivion and Morrowind to get inspiration in my off time and it paid off. I can say I did my best without a shadow of a doubt. I absolutely did my best work and I gave it all I had. I can’t ask more from myself. I feel proud of the work I did and I’m proud to say I did it, even if I end up with a poor grade, I can’t say I didn’t try.

Whatever happens, I feel like I have improved my writing skills by a large amount this semester and I am glad I took the course. Mental health kept me out of the classroom for a large portion of the semester, but I kept with it and turned everything in. I improved in aspects I thought I was already really good at, but that just goes to show there is always room for improvement no matter who you are. I improved at my word choice, though I still feel like I used a lot of the same words. I guess I couldn’t avoid it though, the project I was working on was extremely niche and some of the words from my project you can’t simply make up new terms for. I feel like I got better at processing information at a fast pace as well. I definitely needed that to keep my sanity during the longest portions of the project. It kept me calm, knowing I was going at a constant pace and making constant progress. 

I thought I did better with source choice as well. I felt like for this project I had the liberty to choose the sources that helped me out the most. I have to give a big thank you to Fish Burton, my professor for the freedom to do that. It helped me make what I felt was a creative research project that I was passionate and curious about. I still have a lot of questions now, specifically questions about what else the developers of the Elders Scrolls left in their games that might connect the game world to the real world. I had a few ideas, but for my paper I wanted to stay focused on my topic of philosophy in the game. I think there were a few times I went off topic in my research paper, but I feel like they were well warranted and were generally positive towards the message of my paper.

Overall, I feel like I improved overall and I honestly can say that I feel like a better writer after completing this class. I feel like it was time well spent and even though I didn’t get everything in until the very end I feel like it was an overwhelmingly positive experience. I would definitely recommend the class to people who are considering it and definitely would recommend taking the class with Fish due to the creative freedom he gives you for the project.

I can tell you right now, with 100% certainty that I was writing for the sake of my argument, for the sake of the paper itself. Not once was I writing to get the grade, every word I wanted to put into my papers to prove my point. I am really passionate about a lot of things, and the impact that video games like The Elder Scrolls have had on me is definitely one of them. Anyways, thanks for the great semester, this has been one of the best projects I have been apart of and had the chance to take part in.

Last post regarding this assignment, it’s been a good one.

-Dalton

[dkyoungone]

English 2010 Final Research Paper

Video games are mainly seen as a medium of entertainment and often pushed aside when talking about story or real world connections. Often times people don’t understand the work that goes into making a game and how many working pieces have to be perfect for even one aspect of the game to function properly. A large part of that, in many cases, is the story of said video game. I would like to point out and target individuals who find no value in video games. Those who would like to see video games as a whole destroyed and discontinued. There are thousands of people who play games exclusively for the story and experience of the game. They look for what kind of feelings they experience due to the story or the characters, and oftentimes delve deep into the lore of the games to think about real world connections to explain different phenomena in the game of their choice. The Elder Scrolls is a series of games developed by Bethesda Game Studios and published by Bethesda Softworks. The series has been widely popular among a large portion of the gaming community with unforgettable experiences like Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim. Each game has its own unique story that adds to the lore and collective story of the Elder Scrolls universe. Every one of these games details one event in books found throughout the game and ruins found across the provinces you are free to explore in the fan favorite titles. The disappearance of the dwemer race is one of the most mysterious events in the history of Tamriel, the continent in which every game so far has taken place. The dwemer have real world connections to philosophy seen and written about in our world today.

To preface, the dwemer, also known as the deep elves or dwarves, were a race of elf that were rather unique, even among the elven races of Tamriel and the Elder Scrolls. The dwemer dwelled underground (hence the name “deep elves”), and were far more advanced in regards to technology and magic than any other elven or human race at the time. For example, within the Mundus (or the mortal plane), there is a precious metal that has magical properties that cannot be mined by traditional methods, this metal has been called “aetherium,” named after its likely origin, Aetherius, the realm of the gods. The dwemer first found a way to mine and extract this metal, and also developed the technology to forge and create extremely powerful weapons and armor out of aetherium. This is the topic of the book “The Aetherium Wars” within the game world of Skyrim. It details a researcher’s findings on the Aetherium Forge and its history. They were also masters of technology called tonal and kinetic architecture, which used sound and kinetic energy for locks and other purposes. According to Drew from FudgeMuppet, a YouTube channel largely based around the exploration of the Elder Scrolls lore from in-game sources, tonal architecture was able to control locks, doors, and also had the ability to control the minds of those the dwemer wished to control. Kinetic architecture was mainly used for locks and doors, yet was still an extremely impressive feat of technology, especially considering that the rest of Tamriel has yet to figure out even a small fraction of the workings of dwemer technology and architecture after over 3 millennia. The dwemer were pragmatic and logical thinkers and according to Vivec, one of the Tribunal god-rulers of Morrowind, actively spat in the face of traditional elven worship. They preferred logic and reason and were extremely strict about this. Their majority of their leaders were not kings, or religious figure heads. They were scientists, architects, and philosophers. There was, however, a king of the dwemer before their disappearance. This was King Dumac. He authorized Chief Tonal Architect Kagrenac to experiment on the heart of Lorkhan and attempt to give the dwemer as a collective the power of immortality.. He made many of the decisions that many believe lead to the disappearance of the dwemer.

Now that there is an understanding of their feats and mentality towards the world, the real world connection draws itself out. Using the example of tonal architecture, it is known that the dwemer were able to control the minds of many individuals with this technology. They had no issue enslaving other races if it would speed up their work and research, as was shown in the first era, when the dwemer tricked the snow elves into eating a blinding fungus and enslaving them. They don’t care for morality of what others may perceive to be right or wrong, they want to expand their knowledge no matter what the cost. Their ideology sounds extremely similar to nihilism. Nihilism is defined by the Oxford Learner’s Dictionary as “the belief that nothing has any value, especially that religious and moral principles have no value.” Immediately, two boxes are already checked off. A lack of morals, as well as a lack of religious belief. On the subject of their views on religion, FudgeMuppet, in their summary video on the dwemer said, “When considering the dwemer people’s connection to the Heart of Lorkhan[the heart of a fallen god], as well as various other encounters with entities like Azura [a daedric prince and deity of the dunmer], it’s safe to say that they weren’t necessarily nonbelievers in an atheistic sense, but rather in a heretical sense.” (FudgeMuppet, “The Fall of the Dwemer,” 2018) Real world nihilism can be used to describe the dwemer as a people incredibly well. 

The main theory regarding their disappearance is that they Zero Summed, or self annihilated. This is one of two outcomes of achieving Chim. What is Chim and how does one achieve it? This happens when an individual, or group come to realize that their existence is a lie, that their reality is meaningless. In our terms, they essentially realize that they are in a game, and can either persist through sheer will, or zero sum and remove themselves from the false reality. The literal connection to the real world is Chim. The pragmatic and logical thinking of the dwemer led them to think that there is no purpose existing in a false reality anymore, so they removed themselves due to their nihilism, their rejection of the meaning of their own existence led to their disappearance after the events leading up to the disappearance.

An additional theory with evidence to back it up is the notion that the daedric prince Azura, one of the more powerful beings who did not use their power to create the Mundus, didn’t like the dwemer toying with immortality when they chose to be heretical and mock the aedra (gods and goddesses) and daedra. Azura commanded her worshippers, who were the chimer elves at the time, to go to war with the dwemer and prevent them from A. creating a fabricated “Brass God” called the Numidium, and B. granting themselves immortality and ascendancy. Once the tools were used on the Heart of Lorkhan, this theory states that Azura transferred all of dwemer kind on the Mundus to an undisclosed plane of Oblivion where their souls were trapped.

Both of these theories have extremely solid evidence and are both supported in some aspect in the games. Realistically it is impossible to know what really happened without Bethesda explicitly telling us what happened, which is most likely never going to happen due to the intrigue and mystery it brings to the table for the Elder Scrolls series. It keeps people interested so I personally doubt that we will ever have definitive answers to our questions regarding the deep folk. Bethesda has had the opportunity to address these issues and questions over the years, especially with their expansions to their only MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game), Elder Scrolls Online.

Either way, these are only a portion of the theories presented in the games and out-of-game official reading material and lore from the story writers and producers of the series. Both of these theories hold weight and support my thesis. The first supports my thesis by explicitly stating the dwarves zero summed. They self annihilated and were unable to see themselves find a meaning to a fake world as they believed that it didn’t matter. We can draw this conclusion as the dwemer show characteristics of being politically and ethically nihilistic(religious and moral apathy, respectively). Logically, when they find out that the reality they exist in is false, they shift from political and ethical nihilism to straight up existential nihilism, which means they no longer see meaning in life. The Azura Theory still acknowledges that the dwemer exhibit a real world philosophy through their previous actions and interactions with others, however it is not as prominent as it is not the cause for their downfall. In the Azura Theory, the cause of downfall for the dwemer was the ignorance and arrogance of Kagrenac, who according to Yagram Bagarn, the last known living deep elf in Tamriel, “may have erred, and utterly destroyed our race.” (Yagrum Bagarn, Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind).

Some people may doubt that a game series as based in fantasy as The Elder Scrolls can have real world philosophical parallels and connections. This is a fair statement, as the Elder Scrolls series of games has multiple elements that would not be found in our world, such as: dragons, the undead, magic, and more. However, this argument falls short of realizing that there is more to philosophy than if something is possible or not. In the philosophy of science, it is argued that if we cannot observe something then it is not really there, or does not exist. There are parties on both sides of the argument that make compelling arguments and points. This means, that even though our world of The Elder Scrolls cannot be proven to be true in any aspect at all, as it is a created and fabricated fantasy realm, real world philosophy can still be apparent and aware in the game, and from that game experience and in-game philosophy, we can draw lessons and learn from the characters and their actions. Take our example of a book from before, a book does not need to be factual to have a lesson, or to challenge the norm. Harry Potter is not real, however people can learn from the bravery of the characters and the determination they show throughout the series. In the same way, we can learn from the dwemer that fawning over technology and science to the extreme degree of degrading and dehumanizing others leads to an eventual ruin. That the pursuit of knowledge through disregarding safety and the lives of others can lead one to ruin by their own hand. 

In conclusion, video games can have real world connections that we as real and physical beings, can learn from. Even if that message needs to be dug out, there is some kind of message in every piece of art, video games included. The dwemer are a shining example of nihilistic characters in gaming and represent a philosophical connection to our world through a generally avoided theory of reality and morality. The Elder Scrolls series of games and many other games from different studios, producers and developers are all generally good experiences to see the variety of art style, music, story, and level of detail. It doesn’t need to be said, but all video games are not the same and it is worth to give at least one game a shot to see if you like the story, the characters, the music, or any aspect of the game. There is so much work that goes into making the games that so many people enjoy today, and there are so many different people working in the games industry that pour their hearts into the different aspects of the games they work on. Give games a shot, they may surprise you.