dmnvbtxxy

[dmnvbtxxy]

UGH gdi I want to b a good girl so bad, I want go b a good denial slut, why the fuck do I have to have a body and brain that wants to kms any time it actually happens!!!

[dmnvbtxxy]

god DAMN IT why am I so fuckinf MAD ABT THIS

[dmnvbtxxy]

no one but my partners give a single fuck about me the second im not in someone's line of sight im not even worth acknowledging. I dont exist unless I'm perci3ved and even when I am 9/10 I'm just a distorted reflection

[dmnvbtxxy]

why do I ever let myself be excited abt shit. I staked most of my week on being hype for plans tomorrow all for my stupid fucking brother to just NOT remember we agreed to fuxkinf plans. i literally told him multiple times when we last hung out how excited i was f0r us to hang out again THIS SPECIFIC FRIDAY but FUCK ME I GUESS

[dmnvbtxxy]

its late and im tired but I don't want to go to bed bc I wanted to do things but im too tired to do things and its almost 530 so I can't even g//n like a good girl!! and im afraid to get tens up for bed!! why is my brain like this!!!!!!

[dmnvbtxxy]

GOD can I really not go one fucking day without being an overly emotional bitch or an absolute idiot that fucks up everything???????? why am I suddenly incapable of doing literally fucking anything correctly anymore

[dmnvbtxxy]

hahahahaha ofc I'm the person I know in this server that gets the least amount of affection and positive input. of course I am. my art is shit even compared to morris bc I never have time to fucking do it.

[dmnvbtxxy]

I'm so fucki g tired but I can't let myself sleep

[dmnvbtxxy]

not even being curled up in my own bed trying to sleep feels safe rn. god fucking damn it im so scared im gonna fall asleep and she'll b gone. I genuinely cant believe eve said she'd get rid of her I can't believe she'd do that to me

[dmnvbtxxy]

if you didnt want her here why did you leave me alone so i could acceptr her without problem? why did you apologize to her? why do you act like youre somehow better than her you lying abusive sack of shit. i didnt put up a single bit of fight to you being part of our relationship but finally someone I want shows up and EVERYONE wants her gone?????? i love amelia and i wont let antone but fern taker her from me

[dmnvbtxxy]

clyde smoked our weed. bitch wantrs me to dribk too much and lose my job and relapse again nad freak tf out

[dmnvbtxxy]

i know i shouldnt have been snooping but now rhat i know BOTH of them have been snooping i dont feel bad ar all

[dmnvbtxxy]

desolation gave her back to me just so i could have her ripped away in the most painful way possible huh. it burned me and burned me and i didntg get it til it was too late and now everyone i love wants her gone even though she hasnt DONE ANYTHING but exist

[dmnvbtxxy]

UGH I'm so so tired of ur annoying pathetic ass, u were a miserable little shit before ur mom died so I know I shouldn't be surprised but holy fuckjng shit why is it every time we meet a new person and try to befriend them we end up being their ENTIRE FUCKJNG SUPPORT SYSTEM. like we don't seek this out!! we want to have normal fucking friends!!!!!!!

[dmnvbtxxy]

I fucking hate all of this bullshit it's too cold I don't want to be working my entire body hurts and I'm hungry and i can't fucking leave bc I made a stupid promise to stay if I can and I just. UGH. I hate sitting here knowing that this is the entirety of my life. this is what I am here to do. I work for the next 40 years and die young bc im fucking disabled and overworked. I do this, almost every day, forever. because that's just how this stupid fucking world works.

[dmnvbtxxy]

literally every time I try not to be a pessimist I am punished. I'm so god damn tired of the "if you plan for the worst all the time you'll be miseable" bullshit bc FUCK YOU im ALREADY MISERABLE, id at least like to be miserable and Prepared. I can't fucking handle having Hope bc its not Real nothing works out how it's supposed to and the world is a vile pool of stress

[dmnvbtxxy]

UGH I fucking hate this I just want to not feel bad!!!! I want to be actually happy for them but instead I just wanna fucking SCREAM I should have BEEN there im such a pathetic WASTE