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[dmwrites]

This takes place between session 5 and 6 of Secret Life- based vaguely off of this post

——

The secret keepers met once a week at a diner somewhere deep in the void within the end. The faceless, yet watchful beings met to discuss all things secret life, from task ideas to personal favorite players.

The front door jingled as it opened, and the secret keepers went quiet as the man with the red sweater walked in. They threw him looks of curiosity and deep contempt. Grian was well aware that the secret keepers only tolerated him because he’d organized these games for them to enjoy in the first place. He walked over to the smattering of tables, holding a notebook tight to his chest. The secret keepers all took their seats, wandering back over from the pinball machines and music boxes they had been occupying their time with.

“Fellas, nice to see you all. How’s everyone feeling, what with reds already on the server, huh?” Grian asked, throwing out some finger guns. There was some general murmurs and nods of celestial heads. “Jimmy and Martyn, who would have thought, huh? The dragon really went yeet on Tim’s ass,” that statement was met with silence, so Grian cleared his throat and moved on. “So I had an idea, for both some tasks and server bonding activites.”

The tasks were usually left up to the secret keepers, as they loved to participate in the pain of the players they watched, so this statement raised a couple of eyebrows (metaphorically, anyway- Grian didn’t really know what they looked like under their hoods). Grian knew he didn’t have long before the secret keepers got annoyed with him, so he took out a notebook, and flipped to a page pretty far in the back.

“So, picture this, a warden and a wither fight, right in front of the secret keeper. Think of the drama, the carnage, the potential sacrifice, the teamwork to keep the two beasts in check. I’m thinking Etho for the warden part of this, as he’s pretty adept at wrangling them. And I wasn’t quite sure who could be the other person for the task, so let’s just call them… y/n, for now.”

“What does y slash n mean?” one of the secret keepers asked.

“It’s… um, well, it’s just kind of a placeholder for m- someone to put their name in post… publishing. The tasks are randomized, right?”

There were some confused murmurs from the group, but waves to .

“Right,” Grian continued, “so y/n would have to be super brave and go collect wither skulls in the nether to make a wither. And then y/n could work with Etho to make the fight happen. And they couldn’t tell anyone, so it would just be a secret between them, and they’d have to get super close and personal…”

“This seems more detailed and personal then our usual task dedications,” a secret keeper said. “Did you have a particular person in mind to be this… y slash n?”

“Umm…” Grian coughed. “Imaybehadmyselfinmind?”

“What was that?”

“I mean, I could go to the nether…”

There was a collective groan from the secret keepers.

“You just want to be best friends with Etho.”

“Him and the whole server.”

“Who elected you king of the secret keepers, deciding your own task?”

“Fellas, fellas…” Grian said, holding out his hands apologetically. “It’s only a suggestion. y/n could be whoever you want. But whoever it is, maybe we could also have a task that makes Mumbo y/n’s… butler?”

Grian cringed as several secret keepers threw their hands up in exasperation.

“You want Mumbo to be your butler?” one of them asked. “What kind of fantasy world do you live in?”

“No, no, it’s just for whoever this… y/n person ends up being!” Grian knew they were seeing right through his lies. “Maybe he can, like, help y/n and Etho pull off this fight! Mumbo is very competent.”

There was an uproar of noise at that, and Grian stared furiously down at his notes. They just don’t understand the vision, he thought. The secret keepers eventually settled down again, throwing him annoyed looks assumedly. “Anything else, Grian?” one of them asked exasperatedly.

Grian looked down at his notebook, reading the final idea he’d had last night, mentally facepalmed over the little hearts he’d put over the dot of the I’s. “No…”

“Don’t lie, you’ve already made a fool of yourself today.”

“Well, maybe the warden and the wither could fall in love,” Grian said, clinging as he said the words. “Enemies to lovers style… i wrote a little story about it last night if you want to read it sometime…”

If the secret keepers knew how to do more then just stare and mutter to one another, they would have booed him out of the diner. They didn’t, but Grian knew that their patience with him had run out.

“And that’s all I had, fellas. I hope you guys have tons of fun coming up with new tasks, they’re always so much fun and super awesome. Love you,” he left the diner as quickly as he could, and before he knew it, he was back in his bed on the Secret Life server.

The next day, each player recieved their newest task, a book popping into each of their inventories. Grian opened his and read it once, twice, and a giddy grin spread over his face. He clutched the book to his chest in a hug, then put it away in his inventory. He put his hair up into a messy bun, and raced to go find Etho. They had a lot to do today, after all.

[dmwrites]

Writing this was what inspired that post, btw

Thinking about xB’s security cam footage from the rift stuff in s9. He’s like FNAF

[dmwrites]

Writing is so powerful you can literally make your blorbos do the stanky leg and no one can stop you. Hell, people would probably encourage it.

[dmwrites]

Cleo was tired. The first few weeks on a new server always were. They were back at their starter base after a long walk to find some mangrove trees. Their starter base wasn’t much yet, but they could appreciate its simplicity as they collapsed on the only chair they owned. As soon as their butt hit the chair, though, there was a knocking sound on her front door.

“Hey, Cleo? Sorry to bother you so late.” Joe could be heard over his knocks.

Cleo stumped over to the door and opened it. “Joe, I- oh no, what happened?”

Joe looked up at them sadly, holding stuffing in his hands. He had a few arrows sticking out of his blue skin, and a slash in his stomach, where the stuffing was leaking from.

“I was caving, and I may have run into a skeleton spawner… and a stalagmite.” Joe replied sadly. “But with this new puppet body, I don’t know how to heal myself.”

“Oh Joe.” Cleo chuckled in sympathy. “I think you and I need to stop hanging out- we’re too alike.”

“What do you mean?” Joe asked, still clearly upset.

“You need stitches like I do to my own skin. Come in, I’ll show you how to do it.”

Cleo had the puppet of a man sit on the only chair, still cradling his stuffing, and went to get her scissors and industrial-grade string.

“Right, arrows out first.” Cleo told him, setting down her equipment. “You just hold onto that stuffing… wait, would those be your organs, technically?”

Joe looked down at the white fluff. “I guess so, yeah.”

“That’s so gross, I love it.” Cleo said, and reached for an arrow lodged in Joe’s shoulder. “Okay, ready? I’m gonna pull it out in three, two, one.” they tugged the arrow out, and looked for any signs of distress on Joe’s face.

“Oh, that didn’t hurt at all!” Joe said, a little more cheerfully. “Now that I’m thinking about it, none of my wounds hurt, it’s just the emotional part that got me.”

“You make being a puppet sound more and more appealing.” Cleo grumbled, pulling the other arrows out in rapid succession. “Alright, let’s deal with this stomach wound- did you bellyflop onto a spike? How on earth did you do this, Joe?”

“Yeah, that’s it, really.” Joe said sheepishly. “Wait, don’t you need gloves or other sanitation methods to do major surgery?” He continued as Cleo reached for his stuffing.

“You’re a fucking puppet, Joe, if an arrow does nothing to you, germs shouldn't either.” Cleo replied, giving him a withering look.

“You’re right! Okay, let’s stuff away!”

Joe and Cleo stuffed the stuffing (or guts, depended on how you looked at it) back into Joe. Cleo carefully sewed him back up, showing him how it was done as she did. In no time at all, Joe was all put together again.

“Okay, here’s your own scissors and string, so you should be set to go now.” Cleo said, handing her extra supplies over to the puppet.

“Oh, thank you for stuffing me full of the good stuff, Cleo!” Joe beamed.

“Good lord, don’t tell people I’ve been stuffing you full of the good stuff, Joe, or we won’t hear the end of it.” Cleo sighed, but waved Joe off nonetheless.

[dmwrites]

This is so in-character for them honestly

[dmwrites]

Keralison the written character is my new worst enemy

[dmwrites]

[dmwrites]

Keralison the written character is my new worst enemy

[dmwrites]

I’ve made the executive decision that in this fic Cleo can swear as much as they’d like, but xB won’t swear once. This has already created some funny instances

[dmwrites]

Posted a Cleo and Martyn double life doohickey to ao3, check it out👍

Want to see the original fic? Find it here.

[dmwrites]

I call this “the author doesn’t actually remember what grian said”

[dmwrites]

If anyone remembers me being excited about this just know I’m still chipping away at it 👍

I need 2 share that I’m chipping away at a zombiecleo and xB fic rn and I love it I love them I’m reallly excited

[dmwrites]

Need some help from trafficblr

[dmwrites]

Emojis strike again

[dmwrites]

One day, Joe Hills set out with a shovel in his hands. He slung it over one shoulder, whistling as he walked.

“Hey Joe, whatcha got there?” TangoTek asked, carrying blocks of ice.

“Oh, just a shovel.” Joe replied. “But it’s ice to see you, TangoTek.”

TangoTek laughed. Joe laughed. They both walked down the path in opposite directions.

It was a good day for a walk. The birds were singing and the sun was shining. But birds were not the only things singing! Joe walked over a hill to find BdoubleO singing loud and clear as he cut down a tree.

“Sir Joe! How wonderful to see you!” BdoubleO said, wiping away sweat on his face.

“Howdy, BdoubleO, why are you chopping down a tree?” Joe asked. He moved his shovel to his other shoulder so it would not hurt him.

“Why, I am using the wood to build a beautiful house!” BdoubleO said. He had big, twinkling eyes and an even bigger smile. “Why do you have a shovel, Joe?”

“I have a hole I need to dig.” Joe said. “And I must not be late for it. Goodbye!”

“Goodbye Joe!” BdoubleO said, waving.

The day was getting warm, and Joe Hills stopped by a river to get a drink of water. He saw his friend Cubfan at the river too!

“Howdy, Cubfan!” Joe called, waving.

“Hey Joe, whats up?” Cubfan asked. He was holding a raw cod fish and a fist full of glittery red redstone dust.

“I was just taking a break, I’ve been walking for a while today. What are you doing here, Cubfan?” Joe asked.

Cubfan looked all around at the grass and the trees, like he was looking for something in particular. Then he took out five diamonds and gave them to Joe!

“Nothing at all. Got it? If anyone asks, I was drinking from the river, same as you. Alright, man?”

Joe thought the diamonds were a very nice gift, and put them in his pocket. “Thanks, Cubfan! Indeed, I saw nothing!”

Cubfan smiled at Joe- he was always so fun to hang out with. Joe wondered why Cubfan looked like he was sweating.

“So what’s with the shovel, Joe?”

“I have an appointment. Very important stuff.” Joe said. “And I should probably get going before the sun sets! Goodbye, Cubfan! Enjoy your nothing!”

The day was beginning to turn into night. The sky was oranges and reds and pinks. Joe walked a little faster- he didn’t want to be late!

Then he came to a fork in the road, and Joe realized he didn’t know which way to go! He felt sad- was he not going to be able to get where he needed to be on time?

“Hi Joe!” Geminitay said, waving to him. She was walking down one of the paths towards him, carrying a basket full of bright flowers.

“Say, which way is the graveyard?” Joe asked. “I appear to be lost.”

“It’s that way, of course, right through the spooky forest!” Geminitay said, pointing down a dirt path. “But why do you want to go to the graveyard, Joe? It’s so scary there!”

“I have something urgent I must do.” Joe said, shifting the shovel over his shoulder.

Geminitay looked at the shovel, then and Joe, but didn’t ask any questions.

“Well, good luck. Watch out for big scary wolves!”

Joe hurried along the path in the spooky forest. The sun was about to fully set, and he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get to the graveyard in time.

All of a sudden, a huge creature ran into his path. Joe was not scared, though, because it was his friend Rendog!

“Joeth of the Hills, my dude, how the heck are you?” Rendog said.

“I am good, Rendog, but I am afraid I can not stop to chat! I have urgent business to attend to.” Joe said.

“Me as well, good sir, as I saw a rabbit just beyond those bushes and must give chase. Goodbye!” Rendog said, and dove back into the forest.

The moon was beginning to rise as Joe Hills stepped into the cemetery. He creeped along the gravestones, careful not to make a peep. He could hear skeletons rattling in the distance, but he was brave. He stopped at a gravestone with a torch above it, and began to dig. He dug straight down, until his shovel scraped against a coffin. He pried it open, using all his strength.

“Hi Joe!”

“Howdy, Cleo. Did you have a nice nap?”

It was Joe’s best friend, ZombieCleo! She had been sleeping in the grave! Cleo yawned and stretched, bones moving strangely under dead and rotting skin.

“It was wonderful, exactly what I needed! Thanks for digging me up! Let’s get out of here and go get some pumpkin spice lattes!”

“How spooky!” Joe said, and he and Cleo held hands as they went to get a yummy treat together.

——

This is my attempt at a “children’s story”-esque fic, and was supposed to be completed for Halloween. Better late then never lolll

[dmwrites]

I turned two today wahoo

[dmwrites]

As I look to the new year, I’m excited to keep writing! Man I love writing. Here are the first paragraphs (or so) of most of my WIPs and some half-assembled ideas :D