dnatestdude

[dnatestdude]

Dear cousin

A DNA test poem

Dearest friend and cousin o’ mine,

I wonder could you spare some time?

I need a swab from the inside of your cheeks,

The results will be ready in just a few short weeks,

But wait, what is this, I must be bewitched!

The system has glitched, or my test has been switched!

I called Ancestry, thoughts flying round my head,

They said that they would look in my stead.

They rang back soon and said, you must look no farther,

There is no way your Dad could be your biological father.

I started to cry,

I wanted to die.

How could my family have kept onto this lie?

Cousin said, do not be blue, even if it may be true,

My uncle may not be your blood, but will always be father to you.

And you will always be my cousin too.

dnatestdude

[dnatestdude]

One of my friends got this message from a "cousin" on MyHeritage

[dnatestdude]

I just discovered something I guess...

Okay, so I just tried to sign into Ancestry.com and as per usual, the password for it has fucking slipped my mind. This has happened multiple times with this site specifically (and a lot of other sites, but like, I was really hoping ancestry.com would keep me signed in. But it didn’t. Goddammit). 

Pictured Above: The impenetrable, stupid wall of genealogy.

I got eventually frustrated and started like, idly clicking around on the page? I was also talking to someone else at the time so I wasn’t really paying attention, until I realized the lock fucking moved. 

Okay… whatever. That’s weird. I figured it was a weird animation… thing… that I hadn’t noticed before. But I clicked on it a few more times, just to see what happened? 

And THIS shit happened. The lock fucking fell off. 

And you can bounce the damn thing around. 

IT EVEN HAS A SHADOW. 

And you can bounce it so high it temporarily disappears from the screen?? 

Pictured Above: The fucker is nowhere to be found. 

And only NOW does the lock symbol occasionally wiggle on it’s own. Like it wants you to play with it. 

This… is such a weird easter egg. Like, how the hell does somebody come across this on purpose?? Who decided this should be a thing?? 

Long story short, I have no idea what my fucking ancestry is, but I made friends with a [cool big icon], I guess. 

[dnatestdude]

Looking for people who’ve done DNA tests, especially those who’ve found something unexpected. Hoping to share stories and help people understand their results or give advice as to which dna testing company is best for you personally.