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dntknwwhtmdng · 3 years ago

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Our Final Night Alive | Jake Seresin x virgin Reader (18+)

Synopsis: Reader is having a really hard time the night before a particularly scary mission, Jake shows his true colours and stands by her side.

Warnings: smut, angst, themes of loss / grief and fear

Please DNI if you’re a minor!!

…

��You’re gonna have to write me some kind of manual,” Jake muses as he puts an olive between his teeth and bites down on it. You raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for the explanation that will inevitably accompany this request. “On abstinence, I mean. I have no idea how you do it.”

You roll your eyes and look back down at your drink, stirring it with your straw. You rarely dignify Jake’s allusions to your sex-life (or lack of) with a response.

It’s the night before deployment. He should be with the others, drinking and revelling in their last moments of guaranteed safety. You should be with them too. They’re gathered around the piano, singing melancholy lyrics to an upbeat tune. But, Jake’s here with you, in a booth at the back of the Hard Deck.

You’ve always struggled with the night before deployment. Maybe it’s the distance — deep down you know that it’s the not knowing. Even if you knew that this deployment would be your last, you just would rather know. It’s the fear of not coming home, or of coming home without the people you’re closest to in the world.

This mission isn’t simple. It’s going to be a miracle if everyone makes it back alive. It’s practically a suicide mission. And you’re team leader.

You turn your head to look at them all. Rooster’s cheeks are flushed warm and red, he’s grinning as Javy drums on the top of the piano. They’re all singing, but Fanboy is laughing so hard he can barely get the words out. Something that Bob had whispered to him moments earlier that he just can’t get over.

It feels like you’re watching them in slow motion. Just looking them over, seeing the flush of life — of joy — in their faces.

The thought of having to explain to one of their families why their loved one isn’t here anymore makes you feel sick.

“Come on, you’re not gonna bite?” Jake teases, drawing you back to reality. You turn your head back toward him. “You always bite when I joke about your virtue.”

You pick up one of the olives and throw it at his face, your lips quirking slightly as it bounces off of his cheek and rolls onto the floor.

Jake grins at the small but certain success of finally getting you to smile. Even if it’s at his expense.

The relationship you have with Hangman is complicated. It started off as hatred. You hated his stupid Ken-doll looks, his smug remarks and his reckless abandon when flying. Then it became rivalry. All about being the best. The best at flying, at schmoozing Admirals, about your planes being up to standard.

Somewhere in between, it had almost become a friendship.

You still don’t quite get him. You don’t always get his need to make a joke of things. He doesn’t always get your need to worry. There are days when Maverick would just want to knock your heads together to get you to quit bickering. And then there are days that the two of you were as thick as thieves.

That is, when he isn’t joking about your ‘virtue’, for lack of a better word. Three months ago, thanks to a slip up from your high school best friend when she was in town, Jake had discovered that you hadn’t yet had sex. Since then, he had used every given opportunity to bring it up in some way or another. He was perplexed by it.

You understood the confusion. You were an adult. A pilot. You had a successful career and a pretty face. Jake had been guessing at why exactly you hadn’t had sex — but he had been miles from the truth with each guess he had made.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t had ample opportunity through your life. There had been plenty of men who would have been more than happy to become a notch in your unscathed bedpost. But it just wasn’t that simple.

“Really though, I’m about to spend the next week sleeping in a bunk below Rooster,” Hangman took a sip of his beer and looked past you at the piano, shaking his head disapprovingly, yet smiling. “Don’t exactly want to wake up hard and the first thing I see is that fucking moustache. Y’know?”

You smile slightly as you take a long drink. Jake always has such a way with words. Your thought makes you laugh slightly. Jake’s smile widens, he thinks he’s cheered you up a little.

“So, what do you do? — to stop yourself from thinking about sex?”

“Can’t miss something you haven’t had.” You answer him simply, smiling as he rolls his eyes at you. He looks particularly perfect tonight, annoyingly. The night before deployment, everyone’s in their dress whites. You know Jake secretly loves wearing them. Why wouldn’t he? — He looks like he was born to be in them.

“C’mon, I know you get horny like the rest of us.” Jake squints his eyes at you, gauging your reaction for any hint of agreement.

“Sure, sometimes.” You watch his eyes light up. He’s right. You’ve just admitted he’s right, maybe for the first time ever. It makes you laugh, the excitement on his face.

“I was starting to think you’d never admit it.” He grins. “So, bestow your wisdom upon me, Ace.”

You shake your head at him and take another drink, “No wisdom. Just more self-control than you have, I guess.” Jake chuckles against the rim of his beer bottle.

You turn your head as something smashes across the bar. Just a drunk patron knocking a glass off of a table. But then something else catches your eye. Maverick and Penny standing together outside. They’re staring at the waves, her hand gripping his tightly.

You watch them just standing together.

You don’t even notice Jake following your gaze, once he realises that you aren’t listening to a word he is saying. His brows scrunch slightly as he looks them over, then looks back to you. It’s been years now, and he still doesn’t have you figured out.

Each time he thinks he’s getting close, something else comes up, always keeping him an arms length from really knowing you.

“Ace?” You barely hear him. It’s like you’re dreaming and he’s trying to wake you up. Mav and Penny aren’t even doing anything, they’re just standing together, but you can’t make yourself look away. “Ace? — You okay?”

His fingers curl around yours, startling you. You look back to him and let out a breath. He’s concerned, features hardened as he looks at you, waiting for some kind of answer.

It’s then that you notice the tears that have brimmed in your eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice is soft as he squeezes your hand in his. Your brows furrow slightly as you quickly wipe the tears from your eyes. You know you must look ridiculous if he’s worried for you and not making jokes.

You shake your head quickly and sniffle, “It’s just been a long day. I think I’m gonna go home, get some rest.”

Jake’s lips part, brows knotting even further in confusion as you begin to slide out of the booth.

“Wha — wait, Ace, what the fuck?”

You hear him behind you but the pounding in your chest keeps you moving. You leave out of the side entrance, not wanting to interrupt Mav and Penny on the beach. The door takes a few extra seconds to slam after you’re out of it, confirming that Jake is still following you. You curse under your breath.

“Will you wait up?” He calls to you.

You make it to your car before you realise that your keys are still inside, along with your bag.

“Fuck!” You kick the tyre. Jake reaches you and puts his hand on your shoulder, turning you to look at him, baffled at your behaviour.

“D’you want to tell me what’s going on?” He breathes, shaking his head slightly as he looks you over. You shake him off of you and kick the car door,

“I left my fucking keys inside.”

Jake knows how much you love that car. You once threatened to shave his head for hitting it with his duffel bag on accident when you had picked him up for the airport. Yet, here you are leaving a mark in its pristine white paint job with the bottom of your shoe.

You turn and look back towards the bar. At your friends. You can’t bare to go back in there and be amongst all those smiling faces. Jake looks between your and the Hard Deck, still completely lost.

“Well, alright — stay here, okay? — I’m gonna be right back.” Jake starts towards the door you had both just exited through, “Don’t move.”

You fall back against the car, trying to regulate your breathing as Jake takes off inside. He’s only gone for a few seconds. As he returns, he sees you staring at the stars. There are tears rolling silently down your cheeks.

He stops in the doorway and observes. Jake has seen you take bird strikes, upwards of 7G’s and even a fractured eye socket without so much as a whimper. He’s never seen you cry before.

You hear his shoes on the ground and try to compose yourself. He’s standing beside you by the time you’re wiping the tears from your cheeks, taking in shaking breaths.

“Look, Ace,” He’s not looking at you. He’s staring down at the ground between your shoes. You appreciate that. “Why don’t you let me drive you home? — I’ve had like half a beer, I’m happy to do it.”

Just that afternoon, you had threatened to break Hangman’s hand if he considered touching the wheel of this car. Yet, you nod now. You let him open the passenger side and you let him take the driver’s seat.

In another circumstances, Jake would’ve been grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He has been bugging you to let him take this thing for a spin since you had got it. A pristine condition white 1962 Corvette convertible. Now, he admires it silently as he takes the wheel.

You turn the radio on, just so that he doesn’t have to listen to the sound of you sniffling as he drives you back to your place. You’re pissed that you’re in such a mess in front of Hangman, of all people. Something in his demeanour tells you that he won’t tell anyone about this, though.

As he pulls up outside of your apartment, it’s clear that there’s no doubt in his mind that he’s coming inside. You resent it slightly as the two of you walk up to your front door — the fact that he feels that you shouldn’t be alone.

“Look, I’m just probably gonna,” You pause and sniffle as Jake turns the key in the front door, “Just gonna take a shower and head to bed.”

Jake nods, then opens the door for you, “Alright. Well, I’m gonna hang out in the living room for a bit… if you wanted to talk or anything.”

You don’t argue, leaving him to it as you brush past him and walk straight to the bathroom. Jake’s brows furrow slightly as he watches the enigma that is his co-worker head down the hall.

He shuts the door behind him, locks up. He grabs himself a beer from the fridge, figuring he’s probably going to spend the night on your couch. He settles in, kicking his feet up on the coffee table in your absence, watching Ice Road Truckers.

He listens to the water turn on three minutes into his first episode. Makes sense, you had to get completely out of your dress whites and also out of that slicked back, Navy-Mandated, bun.

He isn’t paying much attention to the television. Jake’s thinking the night over as he nurses his beer. He wonders what it is about seeing Maverick and Penny just holding hands that was enough to make you freak out like that.

He considers for a moment that maybe you’re in love with Maverick, but then rules that out.

It’s not until a few minutes in to the second episode that Jake thinks to check his watch and realises it’s been forty-five minutes since you got in. Having three sisters, Jake knows that girls can take their time in the shower — but he doesn’t feel right about you taking so long. He sets the beer down on the coffee table and pushes himself up, heading towards the bathroom.

“Ace?” He knocks softly at the door and waits twenty seconds for an answer before he knocks and calls your name again. “Ace, you okay?”

He gives you longer to respond that time.

“Ace, you’ve got three seconds to answer me or I’m coming in.”

He waits five seconds, just in case you’re doing this to be difficult. Then, he turns the handle and lets himself in.

“I’m fine.” You sniffle from behind the shower curtain. Jake sighs in relief. He steps into the room and sits on the floor, his back resting against the side of the tub, “Don’t scare me like that.” He chastises.

You’re standing under the stream of borderline too hot water, exactly like you have been since you washed your conditioner out thirty minutes ago. You consider what he’s just said. Then you consider the fact that he’s sitting on your bathroom floor and that the only thing separating him from your naked body is the shower curtain.

It doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Oddly, you do feel a little better with him here.

“Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on? — because you’re freaking me out.” Hangman bends his knees and rests his forearms on them, shaking his head slightly.

You rest your forehead against the tile. He waits for a while in silence. The lump in your throat is back. You’ve been crying for thirty minutes, and questions like that make you just want to start all over again. Jake listens to you take a shaking breath behind the curtain.

“My mom died.”

His features contort, confused to the point that you can almost hear his expression when he asks, “What?”

You swallow a sob, wiping the water and tears from your face as you try to regulate your breath. “When I was a kid. She was a cop, she died on duty.”

Jake closes his eyes as he realises what an asshole he’s been.

“It ruined my dad’s life. Seeing him like that-“ You don’t finish your sentence but he knows what you mean. You swallow hard, trying to ignore the lump in your throat.

Jake thinks of all of the time he has spent over the last three months joking, teasing you and making guesses as to why you had never had sex. He wishes you had just hit him or something.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is gentle. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him be serious for this long before. He is sorry. He’s sorry for all of it all at once.

You aren’t sure what makes you do it, but you turn off the water and pull back the curtain. Jake doesn’t really even have time to respond before you’ve dropped yourself into his lap and thrown yourself against his chest. His arms wrap around you instinctively as you bury your face in the crook of his neck.

“Hey,” He trails his fingertips along the length of your bare spine, bringing his other hand to cup the back of your head, holding you against him. “It’s okay.”

You’re trembling against him as he holds you.

“I’ve never wanted to let anyone close, but—” Your voice is half muffled by his shoulder, but he can still hear you, even through your cracking voice. “Fuck, aren’t you scared of dying alone?”

He wraps his arm around your waist and holds you closer, his features serious. “You’re not going to die, Ace.”

It feels like his arms around you, his heart beating against yours, are the only things keeping you grounded in reality right now. You grab the back of his neck, pulling yourself closer against him, “You don’t know that, no one does.”

Jake brushes your hair back off of your shoulders, not caring that you’re soaking wet, “I know that. You know me, I’m right about everything.” He squeezes you in his arms.

“I’m so scared of never loving anyone like he loved her,” You whisper. “I’m even more scared of loving someone like that and losing them again. Or them losing me. How could I put someone through that?”

He turns his head and kisses your temple, “Letting someone love you is scary stuff.” He agrees softly. His fingers brush softly along the your back.

“But,” He breathes, “You’re the best pilot I know. Besides me. Nothing bad is going to happen if you let someone in.”

You pull back to look him in the eye, your cheeks tear-stained and blotchy. He wipes your cheeks with his thumbs, holding your face in his hands.

“You can’t be sure of that.” Your voice cracks slightly.

He shakes his head, “No one knows when it’s gonna happen. There’s more chance of you getting eaten by a shark than something going wrong on a mission, you’re incredible up there. When have you ever let being scared of something hold you back before?”

You look him over, wondering where Hangman went, and why you hadn’t been looking at Jake all along. Jake with three sisters and a mother who he respected more than he respected the Navy itself. Jake who is here, now, when he should’ve been drinking with his buddies.

It happens quickly. You have no idea what you’re thinking, but you just do it. You lean forward and press your lips to his, his hands still holding your jaw as he lets you move in.

It’s when you pull back from the kiss, both of your eyes equally wide, that it occurs to you that you’re naked. You glance down, then back up, finding that his eyes have dropped to also look you over.

“Ace,” Jake swallows, shaking his head, “I’m sorry. I- We shouldn’t.”

“Please.” You say it without meaning to. You press your palms against his chest and shift, swinging one leg over his hip. He stares at you, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind all at once.

You make the decision for him as you lean forwards again and kiss him. He relaxes against you, sliding his hands down to hold your waist. You’re not surprised that he’s a good kisser, you know he’s had a lot of practice.

It should feel weird. Doing this. With Jake, of all people. But you don’t find yourself minding at all. You push your fingers up into his hair, humming as he slips his tongue into your mouth.

You feel his hands begin to wander. His hands slide down over the curve of your ass as his hips rock forward against yours.

“Take me to bed.” You murmur against his lips.

He hesitates, eyes closed as you lower your head and press your lips softly against the length of his neck — what’s visible of it over his white collar, anyway. You leave a few kisses along his throat, feeling his hands squeeze softly against your ass.

Then, against his better judgement, he stands. Jake guides your legs around his waist as he does so, pressing his lips to yours softly and then carrying you to your room. He’s been here before a few times. You live close to base, so you have your friends over when you can.

He doesn’t let you go as he lowers you onto your mattress and covers your body with his, brushing your hair back gently off of your face. You taste the beer on his tongue, you smell the soft cologne on his neck, you feel his hands on your skin. You’re here with him.

Your fingers find the golden top button of his jacket and pop it open as he kisses your neck. You hum softly, pushing your head back against the mattress as his lips work against you.

He’s settled between your legs. He lets you unbutton his jacket, but it’s as he’s shrugging it off of his shoulders that he pulls back and looks at you with concern.

“Ace — are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Please, Jake.” You whisper.

It’s now, that he’s on his knees between your legs, that he takes a moment to look admire what’s before him. You watch him, your heart thundering out of your chest as he reaches out and trails his fingertips along the centre of your body, from your collarbones to your pelvis.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jake murmurs, stroking softly along your thighs. “Can I touch you?��

You know what he means. His eyes fall shamelessly to look at your core. Part of you wants to press your legs together and kick him out. But, you nod.

If feels almost ridiculous, that he’s completely dressed before you and you’ve been naked in front of him for a while now.

But, as he moves forwards and captures your lips in a soft, borderline romantic, kiss — it’s all forgotten. You tense slightly as you feel his fingers move between your legs, but Jake knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t move too fast. He spends a moment just teasing his fingers along your folds until you subconsciously part your legs a little further for him.

“That’s it, baby.” He coos, and the reaction your body has to that is surprising to both of you. It’s like he can feel when you relax into him. Jake’s middle finger finds your clit as he kisses your shoulder. Then he kisses your chest, your collarbones.

He works his way down, just gently grazing his fingertip in circles over your clit. He’s barely applying any pressure at all, yet you’re whimpering softly.

It’s when his hips roll forward as he’s leaving open-mouthed kisses on your chest that you find that he’s rock hard. You hips push eagerly against his hand.

Jake can’t help it. The girl that he’s been obsessed with for months literally fell into his lap tonight, and naked too. You watch as he adjusts himself over his pants, his cock straining uncomfortably against the white material.

He applies some pressure between your legs finally, groaning softly as he massages your breast with his other hand. You jolt slightly as his tongue dances across your hardened nipple.

“Jake…” You breathe out, lips parting as you’re met with concerned blue eyes. He stops, worried he’s done something wrong. You push yourself up and kiss him, confirming that you’re whispering his name for all of the right reasons.

Spurred on, Jake slides his finger down and presses it into you. You’re half-distracted by his tongue caressing yours, so you’re surprised when you moan against his lips.

“I’ll take care of you, baby, don’t you worry.” He promises, watching your features as he slides a second finger into you. You swallow hard, then whine, pushing your hips against his hand.

He takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he curls his fingers gently inside of you, his eyes focused on yours. Your arousal coats his fingers, you arch yourself up into him slightly.

He works you open for him, eyes on you the entire time. Your eyes are closed. You don’t see the way that he studies you, observes your sensitivities. You don’t see the list in those ice-cold eyes as he brings you to an orgasm with just his fingers, his thumb grazing softly over your clit.

You’re hurrying him out of his clothes next. It’s all so desperate. You’ve seen Jake’s body before, he’s constantly wearing shorts and flexing his muscles. But, as he slides out of his boxers and kneels before you in nothing but his dog tags, you’re reminded that this is one of your closest friends in front of you now.

You swallow hard. His delicate touch makes it hard to believe that him and the guy you had wanted to punch so many times are the same person. He covers your body with his flawlessly tanned and muscled form, kissing your lips sweetly and brushing some hair back from your face.

“You’re sure?” He whispers, rock hard against your thigh. You nod at him feverishly, skimming your fingertips along his sides, pulling him closer to you.

You both take in soft breaths as he pushes into you, your eyes meeting. He catches your jaw, holding you still as he presses his length further in.

You can’t remember the first time you noticed how annoyingly blue Jake’s eyes were. But, as you’re staring at them now, you notice the softness of them for the first time. Usually they’re sharp, twinkling, mischievous. Now, they’re just pools of calm blue water — safety on the horizon.

Jake swallows, glancing down between your bodies. You watch his Adam’s apple bob and push forward, pressing your lips to the side of his throat. His eyes close gently, he presses his lips to your temple.

You notice the stretch as his hips press flush against yours, but you aren’t phased by any kind of pain. Especially not when he groans softly against your temple and presses himself closer to you. All you care about is that he’s here.

“Feels like you’re fucking made for me, baby.” He murmurs, curling his fingers against your roots, letting out a shivering breath as he begins to roll his hips forwards. He’s not quite thrusting, just rocking his hips softly to get you used to the feeling.

You inhale him. He smells like the cologne he picked up in the airport last year — the one he only wears on special occasions. He smells vaguely of jet fuel. He smells like your soap. Each breath you take, you’re trying to push yourself closer to him.

Your indication of comfort creates something deeper. It becomes desperate all of a sudden. You’re both panting against each other’s lips, he’s driving himself deep into you, his cock filling you in the most perfect way. His heart is thundering in his chest, so much so that you feel like you can almost hear his pulse.

You’re dizzied by him, your hands are all over the place. In his hair, along his back, digging into the backs of his biceps.

He ruts himself deeper into you at the feeling. His hands are in your hair, his lips find yours, he’s moaning softly against you. You surprise yourself when you moan for him as his cock brushes a particularly sensitive spot. It’s a confident sound.

“Sound so fucking pretty, Ace.” Jake whispers, nudging the tip of your nose with his until you’re looking at him again. His gaze anchors you, it keeps you here with him. It’s just you and him, the curtains are open and a blue neon light from somewhere outside has tinted his skin.

You curl your fingers around the back of his neck, his curl around your jaw. You observe each other’s vulnerability up close. Jake is the one to close his eyes first, to move forwards and kiss you deeply. He guides your leg up higher around his waist and drives himself deeper into you.

“Fuck…” you whisper, watching his lips quirk up into a soft smile. He never could resist a stroke to his ego.

He rests his elbow beside your head, his other hand still cradling your jaw as he kisses you once more. Reminded of his strength as you catch sight of his flexed bicep at your side, you skim your fingers along each toned ridge of his stomach.

“I-I’m really close.” You admit, your breath shaking as you look down between your bodies. Jake nods softly, curling his fist tightly in your sheets, “That’s it, darling. Go ahead.”

His voice is deep and that southern accent that slips out sometimes — that one that you’ve made fun of him for so many times — inexplicably might be what pushes you over the edge.

Jake’s lips part softly at the sound you make, and you feel his cock twitch inside of you as he makes you cum. He bottoms out erratically, breathing hard against the base of your neck. You grasp at his back, digging your nails lightly into his skin.

“Fuck, Jake.” You whimper, pushing your head back hard against the mattress. He grunts softly, leaving feverish kisses along your collarbones. You curl one leg around his waist, leaning your head back as far as you can against the mattress to give his lips better access to your throat.

“I’m gonna cum.” He pants against your jaw. You’re so enamoured in him that you don’t find yourself caring in the slightest. In fact, whichever part of your brain that’s in control right now, guides your legs tighter around his waist, pulling him closer.

Jake’s knuckles whiten around your sheets, his other hand remains gentle and steadfast on your jaw. You gasp softly, taking your lip between your teeth as he fills you. He seeks out your lips and kisses you hard, desperate.

Your legs, trembling, relax slightly as he rolls off of you and pulls you into his arms. He kisses your forehead and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, then holds you against his chest. You kiss his chest gently, reaching out and taking his dog tags in your palm.

He moves his head back and watches you examine them.

“This isn’t the end, Ace.” He promises, trailing his fingertips delicately along the length of your spine. He kisses the top of your head and rests his chin against you.

You wonder what he means. Whether it’s the end of things between you and him, before they’ve even really begun. Or the end of everything.

“Can you stay here tonight?” You whisper softly, brushing your thumb over the engraving in the metal. Jake nods his head quickly. “I don’t wanna be alone.”

He nods. Jake understands. For once, he feels like he finally gets you.

…

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