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[dog99a9]

Dog vs human

It's been almost 10 days since I started fostering this dog. I'm entirely new to the whole owning a dog thing -- any dog, let alone a rescue dog. So, every single thing that happened, good or bad, felt like a teaching lesson. The last 10 days have really taught me a lot more than all these years dealing with people. No, seriously. Spending time with this little doggy dog made me more human than ever. Let me tell you why.

The first time I saw the fostering program ad for this dog was two months ago. I didn't put too much thought into it other than, huh, what a poor little dog. He did look happy in the pictures, though. But I can't adopt or foster him. I didn't even know how, didn't have the skills. I don't own the place that I currently live in, so any damages caused by the dog would've been incurred by me. And I live alone -- who's gonna help me to take care of the dog if I am not available?

Then days passed and I kept seeing the ad on my social feed. This same dog. Same happy face. No one decided to keep him yet. Days turned to weeks and the ad was still there. A little bit of a background, but this dog is a Shiba and it has a reputation for being an impossible breed to train and to behave nicely. Added to the fact that this is a rescue dog, which means they might have an underlying issue as to why they're abandoned and rescued in the first place.

It really did remind me of myself. The feeling of being unwanted. People would look at you and say "pass" based on their judgment or the lack thereof, though it's perfectly fair to do so. Those days when I just wished that someone would just give me a chance.

So I decided, fuck it, I'm going to be a foster for him. And it's not like it'll last forever. It's just a month -- I can feed him, give him love for a month. Even if they're going to misbehave, I can handle one month of misbehavior. At least I'm proving my point: If I can make someone, anyone, feel less unwanted, I'd consider that a win.

And there I was, signing up and got accepted.

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The first day with him was really fun. He seemed relaxed, obedient... barely resembling a rescue dog. It's like someone else's dog who has been with them for a long time. Of course he had the occasional zoomies tendency but I figured it's normal for this kind of dog.

Over the days, he was slowly getting... aggressive. Frequent barks at the smallest noises from outside of my door, unwillingness to listen to any commands, furniture bites, aggressiveness towards any other dogs... One time he went on to bite a smaller dog like it's a rabbit. Luckily the smaller dog was okay.

I felt betrayed. This isn't the dog that was advertised. He'd look all happy in the ad but turned into this house-wrecking tiny goblin that is out of control. And the worst part is I didn't know how to handle it. At all. I'd be sitting on a couch frustrated after yelling "no!" a million times to the very thing I told him not to do. There was one time when I tried to put a harness on him for 2 hours... I tried treats, toys, calming him down, but instead he'd run around, bit the harness, bit my hand, simply escaped the harness.

I'd then lashing it out to the rescue shelter contact person. About how untrainable and uncontrollable this dog is. The person was unfortunately not the best one to deal with this situation as well, as she's suggesting all these generic instructions on how to deal with it, which I've already tried anyway. I was practically begging her to take the dog back because I really couldn't handle it. But the issue is still the same: no one wanted to take the dog. Apparently I was the only one.

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As time went by, I started to realize that perhaps I wasn't even looking at this from the right perspective. Let's just pretend that this dog is a human. Lived in a big mansion with a bunch of like-minded people, running around freely. And then having to adapt to a small 8mx8m apartment with just one guy. I guess on the first day he'd feel great, everything is new and all that. But he's got to feel something was off anyway. Everyone around him looked different, the street is loud, so many things he suddenly can't do. He'd be anxious, feeling trapped, frightened. And the boredom... He needed time to adapt, both to me and the environment around him.

So that explains it all. His newly found fear of harness, his barking at the outside noises, his aggressiveness towards other dogs. I mean I remember the first time I arrived here, alone, not knowing anyone and not understanding anything people said. For sure I didn't immediately turn into a model citizen at the time -- it took me some time to adapt, too.

When I look at it from that perspective, I can empathize more with him. I understand his struggles now and that does not even include hist past struggles. It's definitely not easy for him and I should be easier on him, too.

At first I didn't even want him to be on the couch and my bed, but to be fair, one third of my room is my couch and bed, so ruling them out is going to be impossible. I expected him not to be too attached with me, because I hate having to bring him out every time, but how is he supposed to understand that? So I bought a dog fence to really emphasize on that boundary. To add to that, I'm the only he knows around here: I feed him, take him for a walk and play with him, so it makes sense for him to feel a little attached.

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Not gonna lie, when I was at my lowest dealing with the problems this dog has caused, I really wished the rescue shelter would've taken him the next day. I'd feel much better without him, or so I thought. I could go back to my usual routine, which isn't 180 degrees better but at least it's my comfort zone.

But as I spend time with him, walking him out, training him, giving him the love he deserves, I think I will be a little sad when the time comes for the rescue shelter to take him back. It's like what everyone said: "We don't deserve dogs". The love that they give back is so pure, so unselfish. Sure they have their impulses, but everyone has that too. It's a matter of how we handle it. That's how some people have peaceful, obedient dogs and some have, well, you know.

Besides, there are worse dogs out there. There are dogs who barks all day long, growl and bites their owner, wrecks all their furnitures to the smallest bits -- this tiny dude isn't even close to that. But if I were expecting a perfect dog, then yes he's always going to be far from my standard. That's not what I should've been expecting, anyway. He's a rescue dog from a specific breed in which many references would say not suitable for a first-time owner, who's only been with me for a week and a change. I mean...

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So, I've stepped my foot into the pond, I might as well swim in it. I told the shelter it's going to be a month (actually I boasted and telling them 1.5 month but they seem to forget after I complained and all), so I'll stick to it. Good or bad, I'm going to continue my adventure with this little fella. I'm sure I'll learn many more things to come.