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CAR-AOKE

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Israel has killed more children in Gaza since October than in four years of worldwide conflict

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some of my favorite post-game death screens from Hades

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Fire Emblem gets given a dirty hand in Tiger and Bunny. She doesn't seem to mind being misgendered so I suspect her pronouns are she/he, however she gets that typical homophobic anime treatment where her being queer (or a flamboyant gay man, as depicted in the series) has her sexually harassing other characters and it feels so frustrating to see.

My response to this isn't to shun Nathan, instead I decided pretty early on that she was my favourite Hero, and I think the movie that features her accepting her past is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT and beautiful. I will love even bad depictions of us, because sometimes that's all we have.

I remember what was done to Grell in the anime of Kuroshitsuji, and I still adore Grell to this day.

note: I love both of these anime dearly AND feel comfortable voicing my criticisms of them without needing to throw the whole thing out, because I have a functioning brain.

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The only relationship I've watched in anime that has absolutely convinced me that big age gaps can work out romantically is the one between Barnaby Brooks Jr and Kotetsu T Kaburagi in Tiger and Bunny.

12 years age gap. Barnaby is 23 and Kotetsu is 35. They're literally the newest rookie and the oldest veteran in the hero scene. And you can say "they are not canon" as if the creators hadn't gone out of their way to state that they pretty much don't care how you interpret it, a romantic reading of their relationship is as valid as anything else.

Their respect for each other? Their partnership? They're both treated as grown ass men on the same level.

Somehow Kotetsu can call Barnaby a "cute little bunny" and still he never reduces Barnaby to a naive child who doesn't know a thing about life. Kotetsu treats Barnaby like a man, a professional. He never infantilizes Barnaby for his trauma or his past. He helped Bunny as much as he can, goes beyond his limits to help him reaffirm himself and recover his independence. Kotetsu wants Barnaby to be respected, to not feel powerless, helpless, he wants his partner to stop being manipulated. Bunny's whole arc is that he wants to stop having decisions made for him!!!! Kotetsu knows it!!

On the other hand, Barnaby jokes all the time that Kotetsu is old, calls him grampa, that he should retire, the complete dance. Yet, Barnaby has never seen Kotetsu as a father figure. Kotetsu is Bunny's hero partner, not his superior. Thanks to Kotetsu's respectful treatment, they're friends. Hell, Bunny treats Kotetsu like a man. He doesn't pity Kotetsu for having lost his wife. He doesn't treat Kotetsu any differently when he meets Kaede, Kotetsu's daughter. There are moments when you forget the age gap because the story focuses on them being equals!!! They can take care of each other, they can share their burdens, they talk it out if they are frustrated, they communicate with full responsibility, etc etc etc.

Normally I don't like big age gaps at all. It's more of a personal preference, since those dynamics make me uncomfortable.

Kotetsu and Barnaby are the exception and the standard. God bless the Tiger and Bunny creators.

* also it has some of the best treatments of a teen girl having a crush on an older man I've ever seen. It's nothing predatory 'cause Kotetsu completely respects Karina and never takes advantage of her, also completely healthy because Karina uses that to sort out her teenage conflicts and figure out how she wants to be treated, how she deserves to be treated, what he's looking for in a relationship, how older people should approach her, etc.

Kotetsu is a gentleman through and through. An absolute must watch if you want to learn how to write those types of characters and relationships.

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the family portrait at the end of hades makes me laugh

Zagreus please put your bigass spear away your mother and father just got undivorced

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So, in the "Hades" video game (very light spoilers for Elysium) you play as the son of Hades, Zagreus, trying to escape the Underworld. There are different levels and the boss of the Elysium level (the afterlife for heroes) is Theseus PLUS the Minotaur. Apparently, Theseus found the Minotaur in the afterlife and Asterius (the Bull of Minos) now credits Theseus with "saving" him as a person in death. They're best friends forever now and it's kind of cute.

Zagreus receives "boons" from various Olympian gods on his escapes (it is expected that you die MANY times over in this game, it's built into the story) from the Underworld. There is a boon from Aphrodite called "Aphrodite's Aid" which inflicts "Charm" on your enemies, which briefly compels your enemies to fight for you.

I had this boon in the fight against Theseus and Asterius, and the "Charm" heart ended up hitting Theseus. I usually take Asterius down first, so the "Bull of Minos" had really low health. Theseus stabbed Asterius in the back with his spear and this ended up being the DEATH BLOW.

I felt SO BAD. It is the only time so far that I have felt sorry for my actions playing this game, like, "SORRY, BRO, I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU KILL YOUR FRIEND AND PROBABLY REIGNITE OLD TRAUMA FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. IT'S IRONIC, REALLY, BUT MY BAD, MAN. MY BAD."

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Last night I found my doc detailing various parallels between Achilles/Patroclus and Theseus/Asterius! I thought I would post the information from it here cuz it’s fun to talk about. Even though it’s been awhile since it came out, I guess there’s a general warning for spoilers if you’ve not finished the game yet!

The Obvious Similarities:

The distinct combination of emotional self-loathing blonde and their far more calm and rational brunette partner… Achilles and Theseus both fall into the category of “impulsive risk taker” as well, though Achilles has become somewhat calmer in his death (at least when around Zagreus).

Matching outfits. Pat and Achilles have a tragic reason for their clothing and armor to be mostly the same. Theseus and Asterius are just gay, on the other hand.

The rational calm dark haired ones both died in fairly tragic ways, though Pat’s death was at least honorable. Asterius down in the labyrinth absolutely miserable.

(A fun fact: Theseus tends to refer to him and Asterius’ past fight as if the two of them had always been on equal terms and had always been friends. The only time he doesn’t do this as far as I know is when presented with the yarn of Ariadne.)

Keep reading

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who are thseterius and bareleifdrjas?

anon you have zero idea what youve just unleashed. (this little parenthetical was writtten after everything else in this post but this is focusing on thesterius bc it just got SO LONG. barreleifdrias will have to wait </3)

ok so. hades video game 2018. you play as a dude named zagreus fighting to escape the ancient greek underworld but the point is that when you get to elysium, the two guys blocking your exit are theseus, the theseus of minotaur and ship and labors fame, only hes an annoying pro wrestling vibes egotistical blond (/derogatory /JOKE) dude, and the minotaur, the cannibalistic half man half bull monster in the labyrinth, only hes a chill honorable (hot) dude named asterius. and theyre best bros!!!! despite their meeting and the myth theyre most famous for being theseus killing the minotaur, asterius and theseus are now super best friends. theyre so unlikely but the respect for each other is clearly so deep. reason one why theyre compelling.

here they are btw. (via hades wiki)

and its like, theseus is so annoying that general fandom opinion is that hes the worst character in hades, in a “you love to hate him” playful way sometimes, or real hatred depending on which circles of the hades fandom you trawl, but hes Written to be disliked. even tho hes the hero of the original story, a hero among the ranks of like, heracles and that ilk. and meanwhile, everyone loves asterius bc hes such a bro, hes so chill and respectful and honorable, so many people think hes hot, people are like “dump theseus you could do so much better”, hes such a fan fave. even tho hes the monster of the original story, the villain!!! that role reversal is so so compelling!!!!!! hades didnt even change anything abt their backstories on paper but their personalities are what makes it a sort of roleswap. like theseus’ only redeeming quality is that he loves asterius so much, and asterius’ only real flaw is that hes so dedicated to theseus lmao

(all these dialogue images via @/hadesgamedialogue here on tumblr)

and its especially cool in hades bc its like, asterius, the minotaur, the one that everyone in the hades fandom loves way more, is an actual person. the minotaur is half man of course. theres so much thats added to the story of theseus and the minotaur overall by making asterius a person. but so very few stories take advantage of it. hades game first opened my eyes to the potential of asterius being an awesome character and i love it so much for it.

and THEN through menu stuff you eventually find out how the minotaur got such a high standing in elysium despite being a monster, fighting side by side w his killer-turned-bestie, adored by a crowd of cheering fans that watches your every fight, and especially constantly talked up by theseus himself. and as it turns out!!!!! after asterius died, he actually ended up in erebus. no surprise there, why shouldnt a half-animal monster end up in tartarus 2 electric boogaloo. but then when theseus died, he thought of asterius, and decided that since "their fame and glory were intertwined" (according to the in-game codex), if theseus deserved elysium for being part of the legendary theseus and the minotaur myth, surely asterius did too.

can you fucking imagine??? youre famous for killing a monster, you had an epic one-on-one fight to the death, but then when you get eternal paradise for it can you imagine thinking "hey what happened to the monster. hey what if he was a person. hey what if he was a person i could have join me in literal ancient greek heaven." and the codex says theseus almost certainly risked his own spot in elysium for it — the guy writing the codex would know, he tried to get his own boyfriend into elysium but ended up having to stay in hell in his boyfriend's place. but no theseus literally just got asterius into elysium, kept his own place there, and now theyre basically gladiator celebrities living(ish) their best lives(ish). THE SHEER ROMANTICISM OF IT.

like i was saying before asterius has always been a monster, but now the man who killed him is also the man who first saw him as a person...... a person worthy of paradise, a person worth saving, a person who gave him a glorious fight for the ages, a person. circling back around the roleswap thing, like a comment on one thesterius fic i read puts it, the player hates theseus bc of his in-game annoyingness, but learns to see him as a person through asterius' eyes, through asterius' high esteem of theseus and theseus' decent treatment of asterius. and at the same time, asterius has always been seen as a beast, but it was only through theseus' eyes and esteem and asterius was able to see himself as anything more.

AND THATS NOT EVEN ALL. this is all the backstory stuff, everything that takes place off-screen before the player even shows up. but zagreus (the player character) shows up and hes a polite guy so hes very nice to asterius bc asterius has been nothing but nice to him, even if they do have to fight often (bc asterius is both a miniboss on his own and the regional boss alongside theseus), its more like friendly and respectful sport than anything by the time they get to know each other. but theseus is constantly insulting zagreus bc of his own skewed sense of honor and dedication to the gods bc of theseus' own willful misunderstanding abt who zagreus is. that isnt super important but the point is, when theseus sees asterius, his bestie, being friends w zagreus, the guy he despises, guess what happens.

thats right. the "asterius is cheating on me 😭😭😭😭" arc. bc theseus is so sad and pathetic that he cant conceive of his bestie having any other friends. asterius Must be abandoning him to marry some other guy who is just so much nicer and cooler than him. and so theseus has a temper tantrum abt it. im bullying theseus rn bc hes a loser but also i dont like how relatable his feelings are during this arc.

if theseus sees asterius as a person worthy of love, then its also the same vice versa: asterius is the first person to see theseus as a real person Also Worth Love. hes not a monster, in fact hes a hero. he should be adored by all. and he does have his supporters in the arena! but do they like the real him? hes deeply annoying. he talks too much. hes desperately clingy to what friends he does have bc he just has so few of them. all of his relationships have ended Awfully, and it was his own fault for reacting so strongly and passionately to the things around him.

he and zagreus are actually kinda similar: theyre endlessly kind to people they deem worthy of it but also scathing to people they hate, theyre both accomplished warriors, theyre extremely stubborn (zag keeps trying to escape the underworld no matter how many times it takes, and theseus keeps meeting him and trying to stop him every time no matter how many times he loses), etc etc. but unlike theseus, zagreus is so charming and friendly. theseus tries so hard to be charismatic, but everyone flocks to be friends w zagreus after like a single conversation, and theseus only has asterius. so its very easy for this deeply insecure guy — no matter how he tries to cover it up by a massive ego and a constant barrage of insults toward zagreus — to believe that asterius might see zagreus as a way better version of him, and break up w theseus and go date zagreus instead. and zagreus does nothing to discourage this notion lmao. (honestly most hades players wouldnt have done anything to discourage this lmao. ive seen so many memes, such as this post, abt wanting asterius to just divorce theseus and "get himself a better man" and date zagreus already.)

and honestly its like, as zagreus himself says in a different dialogue, theseus took asterius up to elysium yes, but like, theseus also killed asterius in the first place, so they should be even. but its not just abt that for asterius. its abt how during their fight in the labyrinth, asterius got to at least experience once during his life what it meant to meet someone as an equal. its abt how theseus was the first person who saw him as a real person, not a mindless bloodthirsty beast. its abt how theseus took asterius to elysium, yes, giving asterius the chance to spread his wings and figure himself out and truly live, in a way he never would have been able to in erebus. its how theseus gave asterius the chance to experience friendship and love. so asterius, of course, doesnt gay divorce. he says this.

“he doesnt even understand it” and its literally so true. zag doesnt understand any of the things abt theseus and asterius being the only people to really understand each other and stay, despite everything repulsive abt the other, and be friends. i would bet the average player doesnt understand it either (see all the common hades fandom opinion “asterius dump theseus already”). but asterius understands it. he reminds theseus of this shared understanding. no matter what, no matter everything that should have come between them long ago, no matter anything that theseus fears might come between them now, asterius and theseus are a pair. its always theseus and the minotaur, their names together have gone down in legend. their theme song in hades is even called the king and the bull!!! bc theyre a matched set, theyre hero and villain, theyre inseparable, theyre gay.

also since theyre really just the regional bosses of zone 3 of hades (almost all of the contents of this essay are entirely missable), they get a cool new best friend battle move called the “counterstrike”, where asterius charges into theseus’ shield to create a shockwave, after they reconcile. to go along with their previously established bestie attack “bullhorn”, in which asterius picks theseus up and literally throws him at zagreus. theseus is such a dork he literally shouts “counterstrike!” and “bullhorn!” when they perform those moves like this is some kind of anime. gay wrath moments <3

tl;dr: thesterius is the ultimate ship of all time. thankyou

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A normal Hades run (but as soon as Zag gets to Elysium it turns into Mean Girls)

aka; art warmups for Regina Theseus Rights 👑✨

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How it feels to take down asterius first

Would like this guy better if he didnt get help from the gods i hate this bitch

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having a blorbo in greek mythology and epics is like the ancient world version of realizing the tv show had a different writer for the one episode your critter was wildly out of character and everyone is like "oh that's so them!" ??? did we watch the same show? helen of troy/sparta is a slut no wait she is a perfect woman no no she is a flawed human being no hold on she's a woman making her way in a man's world wait no she is the archetypal victim no wait-

not coincidentally i am reading madeline miller's the song of achilles for the first time and odysseus just showed up halfway through and odysseus'ed across the page so hard he made me fall in love with him all over again. achilles/patroclus is some foundational tragic queer romance, yeah i respect that, but odysseus. the laughing snake that tricks you into forgetting he is always ready to bite. my man

i bet he is a tricky character to write well but as long as he falls somewhere on the wile e. coyote <--> bugs bunny spectrum he is probably in character. because his character is to be tricksily varied. is he just a dude trying to get home? is he a larger than life hero? a rat bastard nobody can trust? the one male in hellas with a working brain who doesn't listen only to his dick or his overinflated ego? a wifeguy (positive)? a wifeguy (negative)? athena's special boy in this generation (telemachus and orestes wiping their noses on their blankets still)? or her latest mortal hackeysack, legs blurring in a looney tunes run between zany schemes, just a bit faster than the other doomed shmucks? all are intensely valid interpretations and go all the way back to homer 2800 years ago. incredible.

someone in the book is making fun of odysseus for bragging about how much he likes the ship, fresh from ithaca!! penelope modeled for the figurehead!!! he gets to see her while they're apart!!!! and that's why i set the book down for a minute. hgn. hdmahflshsk. odysseus sweetie pie i hope you still like it twenty years from now. the ghosts of my middle school english notes defining "dramatic irony" scream in ecstasy from the great beyond

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Ok, also with the Theseus slander.

How? Is it possible? To boil down a Greek hero so much that it’s actually possible to just flat out detest them.

I find it impossible to take the characters personally. Like people seem personally offended characters and I don’t get it. The characters are all so complicated that it’s impossible to just broad stroke psychoanalyse, and THEN proceed to act like the character has personally wronged you due to this diagnosis you have them based on your version preference when reading. Damn.

Yeah fun fact the villain in the story is Minos. The victims are the Athenian youths, the Minotaur. Theseus is the Hero, Ariadne is the Heroine. But Ariadne represents the suffering of the Athenians when she gets on the ship with them, even though she saved them, and Theseus’s dealing with that represents his tendency to make some very bad decisions, something that will haunt his character for the rest of his stories.

Maybe it’s the fact that I base my enjoyment of a character on how interesting they are. But Greek mythology is set up with these extremely complex characterisations alongside this tendency toward a deeply flawed hero. Not necessarily glorifying the fallenness, but using it to explore what happens to exceptional men when they are deeply flawed. That’s Theseus. He’s not a psychopath, not a narcissist. The texts paint him as a youth who began his ventures to find his place, who stepped up to save his kin, but whose chief and detrimental weakness was not thinking, and making bad decisions with big consequences based on just not fucking thinking anything through. He is a gut reaction person, he makes big moves based on where he finds himself in the moment. His character is glorifying the strength of the hero and, as so many men in mythology ARE WRITTEN, a cautionary tale against the flaws that lay a hero low.

Achilles is also one of these. Agamemnon is one of these. Hector, a great guy, but he has some flaws that get him in trouble. Jason too. Odysseus! And Theseus, a monumental figure, is one of these characters that implore men to be strong but to be wise, to think before they act.

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At the end of Disco Elysium if you try to recruit Kim to come work with you at the 41st he initially misunderstands the question and blows you off. Did you know that if you back down at that point Jean will cut in and explain your intent for you?

However much Harry has changed since destroying his memory Jean still understands him. And however angry Jean is with him he still immediately steps in to make sure Harry isn't misunderstood.

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Happy new yuri

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i only come up with holiday art ideas after the fact