dollov - Tumblr blog

[dollov]

tentando desinchar… quando for pro centro pegar o onibus podia comprar um suco verde ou algo assim… hoje apenas líquidos

[dollov]

[dollov]

gotta find a way of losing weight w/o my family and my bf finding out …

[dollov]

im sososo tired

[dollov]

i think the thing that makes me the most emotional in life is the realization that everything i have and everything i see has been touched by other people. someone designed the logo of my favorite tea bags and someone decided which paintings should go in the calendar hanging on my wall. someone built the roof above my head and someone paved the street outside my house. someone made this pair of glasses specific for me, someone picked the pear i ate with my lunch and someone designed my favorite sweater. every book i read, every song i listen to, every film i watch, tens, if not hundreds of people had to be there to make it happen. even if i am alone, i am always surrounded by other human beings - a fact that makes my heart squeeze in on itself everytime i remember it.

[dollov]

gonna make a new log

[dollov]

gotta be 45 until college is back :D

[dollov]

here we go again

[dollov]

— Clarice Lispector, The Complete Stories

[dollov]

Sad that I have the kind of self-obsessiveness that makes me feel defective and strange and embarrassed to pursue connections with others instead of the one that makes me feel like the baddest in the room and worthy of being around. Think I bought the wrong one where is the return counter

[dollov]

coming to the realization that i tend to binge when im anxious, when theres a occasion that gives me anxiety (usually exams like my driving exam, my stats exam, etc) sooo… i need to work on my anxiety and controlling myself. regarding food and regarding any type of response my body might have to anxiety such as shaking, difficulty to breathe, confusing thoughts

[dollov]

gonna read lots of kafka once the semester is over

[dollov]

we’re all kafkinas…

[dollov]

sentindo q elas n gostam de mim :/ meio de lado sendo q eu q fiz com q isso acontecesse eu me odeio muito tomara q eu fique sozinha pra sempre quero me isolar e nunca mais ter q falar com ninguem

[dollov]

log

28/1 yogurt and coffee + salad, quiabo and angu + coffee and a bite of pao de queijo + 3 castanhas de caju, red apple and green tea + apple tea = 518kcal

29/1 toast w cream cheese and coffee (77kcal) + salad, chicken, canapé de abobrinha, tomate e queijo (370kcal) + binge

30/1 coffee + salad and chicken (260kcal, but im literally just making this up) + frozen yogurt (45kcal) = 305kcal

31/1 coffee and yogurt bowl (110kcal) + boiled egg, chicken, angu, couve (322kcal) + monster (26kcal) + coffee and banana (87kcal) = 545kcal

1/2 coffee and half an activia (47kcal) + salad, bolinho de peixe and funghi risotto (356kcal) + binge

2/2 coffee and yogurt bowl (53kcal) + salad and beef (263kcal) + toast and banana (164kcal) + yogurt with granola (133kcal) = 613kcal

3/2 coffee and mango (77kcal) + sausage, salad and batata baroa (276kcal) + cappuccino (95kcal) + veg pizza (270kcal) = 718kcal

4/2 coffee and yogurt bowl (98kcal) + tilápia, salad and fried shrimp (327kcal) + gin tonic and another drink w gin, which was very good actually (270kcal) = 695kcal

5/2 coffee, spoon of honey (for my throat) and banana, cream cheese and jam wrap (270kcal) + salmon, salad and grilled zucchini (249kcal) + biscoito de polvilho (145kcal) + roasted sweet potato (103kcal) = 767kcal

6/2 coffee and yogurt bowl (176kcal) + chicken, salad and farofa (359kcal) + chocolate (80kcal) + popcorn, boiled egg and sweet potatoes (221kcal) + pãozinho de queijo e suco de laranja (110kcal) = 946kcal

7/2 coffee, banana and cereal (214kcal) + arroz com brócoli, pork w honey and salad (382kcal) + binge

8/2 coffee and banana (95kcal) + boiled eggs, batata baroa e vagem grelhada (233kcal) + fruit salad (70kcal) + binge

9/2 coffee + carne cozida de panela, couve, arroz e angu (376kcal) + roasted sweet potatoes (70kcal) + bruschetta (170kcal) = 616 kcal

10/2 coffee and banana (70kcal) + merluza fish and salad (222kcal) + yogurt bowl (75kcal) + pizza (200kcal) = 567kcal

11/2 coffee and yogurt bowl (75kcal) + salad, grilled chicken w creamy sauce, grilled okra (305kcal) + binge

12/2 coffee + roast beef, cabbage and apple salad, roasted potatoes (277kcal) + oatmeal (314kcal) = 591kcal

13/2 coffee + costelinha com canjiquinha e arroz (445kcal) + green tea and a half an apple (42kcal) + granola w milk and berries (221kcal) = 708kcal

14/2 coffee + iced coffee and coze zero + yogurt bowl w granola (121kcal) = 121kcal

15/2 didnt count (i overate lol)

16/2 binge

17/2 binge

18/2 sushi and veggies (200kcal) + duas broas (280kcal) + pear (85kcal) = 565kcal

weight

4/2 48.1kg

5/2 47.6kg

7/2 47.5kg

14/2 48kg in the morning and 47.2kg at night

15/2 46.6kg

[dollov]

my mom is a fucking IDIOT ive been building my relationship w my dad piece by piece while also trying to help them out and no i am NOT taking anyones sides even tho i do agree w a lot of things my dad says abt mom but i also agree that he treats her poorly and is a dick . and now but relationship w him is probably ruined bc of mom shes so fucking stupid why did she have to bring ME to the middle of their whatever is going on between them when she knows ive been trying to get close to him and i love jim so much and mom annoys me so fucking much with all her “habits” and “the way she is” bc shes so disorganized and doesnt try to get better and doesnt understand and she forgets every little thing i tell her its like she cant use any space in her brain for me and she doesnt take care of herself and that annoys me a lot and she never changes ever and my sisters r just like her im so annoyed by them and i cabt stand living here anymore and the only person i wanted to bond now hates me and wont ever trust me again and if i get mad at mom its possible she will use EVERYTHING ive ever told her abt dad and how i felt abt him against me and him and i just want to leave actually i just want to drink poison and die bc i cabt deal with this i dont want to deal with this i really dislike confrontation and i cant stand them fighting every single day

[dollov]

i love people who talk about their thoughts, concepts and ideas