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[dommedip]

Discovering your ABDL partner’s true identity and supporting them to not hide from it.

For some ABDLs, this is just a sexual fetish where they’ll wear once or twice a week for sex and that’s it. However, for the majority, it’s much more than that and you’ll know this if your partner wears a diaper outside of sex-oriented times and especially if they talk about how diapers make them feel better/happier and less stressed/anxious.

Realizing that this was more than just a fetish for my boyfriend was a big turning point for me and I made the decision that I wanted to help him accept and embrace who he was rather than him being ashamed. The mental health improvement for him of me doing this was greater than I could have imagined and is the main driver why I produce this content to try to help others.

The vast majority of ABDLs struggle with the feelings of shame and fears of their secret being discovered which often develop from childhood and their early teenage years. This comes from a general lack of acceptance of non-conformist lifestyles and it’s although it’s something we’re seeing change positively for LGBTQ+ people, widespread acceptance of ABDL is still a while away. This shame causes stress, anxiety, binge/purge cycles, and other mental health issues.

The crazy thing is ABDL is in no way “bad” or “wrong”, they have a preference to wear a different type of underwear which makes them feel better and enjoy not having to use dirty toilets all the time. Some might also like acting younger to destress or like the feeling of being forced to wear/use diapers. But crucially none of this has a negative impact on themselves as they aren’t causing harm to their bodies (unlike alcohol, fast food & drugs do) or harm to others around them. Equally wearing diapers isn’t even at all uncommon in the general population, in most western countries more adult diapers are sold than baby diapers now and it’s estimated that up to 10% of adults are wearing some sort of incontinent product on a daily basis.

I believe strongly that you should treat this as being part of their identity and not something that should be restricted, shamed, or avoided. 

A big challenge for partners though is because of this shame and feeling of guilt your partner is likely hiding some or all of their real identity from you. 

Discovering their true identity

Below are the key and common elements to ABDL identity and hopefully the questions under each section should help you identify which applies to your partner. You might be able to ask these to yourself but also don’t be afraid to directly ask your partner as well.

Diapers

Do they enjoy wearing adult diapers?

Does wearing diapers make them feel safer or more comfortable?

Are they less stressed or anxious when wearing diapers?

If nobody would find out, would they always wear a diaper?

If they’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these then it’s clear that wearing diapers is a key part of their identity.

Diaper usage

Are they happy to wet their diaper at home?

Are they happy to wet their diaper in public?

Are they happy to mess their diaper at home?

Are they happy to mess their diaper in public (as long as nobody is inconvenienced)?

Does the idea of being a bedwetter appeal to them?

Does the idea of being incontinent appeal to them?

These are straightforward but look for signs of hesitation. They might be embarrassed to answer these truthfully, especially the ones about messing so push hard to get an answer and tell they you just want the truth.

Middle Behaviors (4- 12 years old) 

Do they like acting like a child?

Do they enjoy childish activities such as coloring, playing with lego, and watching cartoons?

Do they like to dress in childish clothing such as bright colors & printed t-shirts?

Treat these responses as a way to work out how “middle” they are. Think of this like a spectrum from not a middle at all to they would love to live life as a middle.

Baby Behaviors  (1- 3 years old) 

* Do they often wear baby-themed adult diapers?

* Do they like to wear patterned onesies?

* Do they have or would like to wear other adult baby clothing at home?

* Do they feel more relaxed when sucking on a pacifier?

* If they could choose would they like to drink from bottles or sippy cups?

* Are they able to regress and act like a baby or toddler?

* Do they enjoy watching baby and toddler TV shows?

* Would they like to add AB furniture to our home, like a crib or high chair?

Treat these responses as a way to work out how “baby” they are. Think of this like a spectrum from not having baby tendencies, to they would love to like life as a baby if they could. Most people will be in the middle area of these extremes.

I’d divide this up into 5 levels:

No AB tendencies = answered no to all of the questions

Novice AB = Answered yes to the top two questions and maybe one other question

Intermediate AB =  Answered yes to 4 questions but potentially struggles to regress fully

Experienced AB = Answered yes or potentially to most questions

Full AB = Answered yes to everything

Forced Diapers & Regression

* Do they like the idea of being forced to wear diapers?

* Do they like the idea of being forced to use their diapers?

* Do they like the idea of being forced to be a baby?

* Do they like the idea of being treated as / dressed as a different gender? (e.g. man dressed as a baby girl)

* Do they like the idea of being restrained such as through bondage or locking clothing? 

If they answer yes to a question, ask how often they’d want to feel forced. Is it just occasional or all the the time. It would be quite common for someone to answer they’d like to be forced to wear diapers all the time but only occasionally forced to be a baby.

What’s next?

Asking these questions to yourself or them directly should now give you a good idea of their ABDL identity.

Diaper wearing and usage

Let’s start with the first two sections on diapers and usage. Seeing as you’re reading this I’m sure they answered yes to most of the diaper questions. It’s also likely they like using their diapers for at least wetting.

Given you now know that wearing and using diapers makes them happier you should ask yourself what is stopping them from wearing all the time. The answer is likely a combination of:

* They’re worried you won’t approve

* They feel guilty about having these desires generally

* They feel awkward wearing around you or asking if they can wear 

* They’re worried they’ll be discovered

* They’re in a period of low self-worth after an orgasm

The first three you can solve by actively encouraging them to wear as much as possible, you know this makes them happier and have better mental health so for me at least this was a no-brainer.

The fear of discovery is massively overblown, give them assurance their diaper is hidden when leaving the house and in the extremely unlikely event someone does notice you can easily say their having some waterworks issues. People however unless very close friends or family won’t mention anything.

This final one is extremely common in men and the best way to solve is by making sure either they have no choice but to stay diapered after an orgasm or use a chastity cage to prevent them in the first place. The latter I’ve found to be very helpful for my partner if you’re open to it and it has lots of benefits for you too.

So I overall I cannot recommend highly enough that  you encourage or force your partner to be diapered as much as possible. You might want exceptions for work and family initially but your goal (knowing that the time in diapers helps them) is to keep them diapered as much of each day as feasible.

If they didn’t answer with a hard no to any of the first 4 usage questions, then their diapers should be their toilet when wearing. If they do have a hard limit on messing then that can be accommodated but make sure it’s not just them saying what they think you want to hear.

Regression

If they identify as middle then this is easy to accommodate and just make sure you let them know that you want them to explore this side of themselves and they shouldn’t feel embarrassed to do childish activities at home. Buy them coloring books, lego sets and put cartoons on tv for them without them asking are easy ways to show this support.

Most will have identified with baby activities to some degree. If they’re in the novice or intermediate categories then your main role is to be supportive and encourage them with these simple baby elements. Help them pick out baby-themed diapers for the day or buy new ones online together. At night always have them dressed in a baby onesie and encourage a pacifier to be used before bed. Giving them a nighttime drink in a bottle will show your support and is convenient to drink in bed.

If they’re in the experienced or full ab categories you will need to consider more significant involvement. At these levels you should try help them get into a baby headspace lasting several hours at least 3 times a week. When in this headspace you should treat them completely as a baby, helping feed, check and change them and giving them baby toys or shows to watch. This time will massively destress them so it’s worth the effort. Outside of these times baby clothing and diapers should be the norm at home with pacifier usage encouraged at any time they want. If you have a spare room and can afford it, creating a dedicated nursery for them can be life-changing for them and keep everything in one easy place which can be locked when you have guests.

This might feel extreme to you right now but our experience is people become more AB over time so you should prepare the slowly move up the bands.

Forced Diapers & Regression

I don’t think this element gets talked about enough but many ABDLs are driven by the desire for it to be forced upon them.

If they’ve said they want to be forced to wear and use diapers occasionally then make sure that a few times a week you present them with diapers and tell them they’re in them until you say so. Forcing them to use their diapers can be achieved through making sure they drink plenty and using laxatives or suppositories.

If they have said they’d like to be forced all the time then the solution is clear. Read our article on making the decision for them and return them to diapers full time, make it clear you’re forcing this decision for them as you know it what they want and it will be good for them. They will resist at points but stand firm, they’ll thank you later. 

Even if they’re in diapers full time with no toilet privileges, you should still force them to truly lose control twice a week. I recommend doing one suppository a week; before watching tv or a film together, before sending them out of the house to go shopping or randomly in the daytime when their next change is a few hours away. And also using a tablet laxative once a week which can be given in the evening to ensure they lose control overnight.

Depending on their answer to being force to be baby, use this to dictate the frequency. If occasionally, then a few times a week make sure you treat them as a baby at the more extreme end. For example have an evening where you feed them their dinner while they sit in AB clothes and a thick diaper. Or surprise them with a whole day at the weekend where they must act like a baby.

If they’re like that more permanently, use the same guide as above but make sure they’re always in baby attire at home. You should also seriously consider creating a nursery room if possible.

Gender is easy as if that’s something they want just switch the types of diapers and clothing you buy for them and call them your baby girl, etc.

Bondage elements should generally be included if forced diapers is something they need. At a minimum use restrictive clothing to prevent them from accessing their diapers, rear zipping onesies or all-in-ones are ideal. Even adaptive clothing combined with padded mittens works well. When unsupervised access to their diapers should be prevented where possible and they should get used to asking to be changed or released if they’re changing themselves.

A locking diaper cover or belt is a good addition. Finally, they should experience times when they’re completely restrained and using their diapers is forced upon them. For daytime a straightjacket is ideal and it is perfect to watch TV together or prevent them from using their phone. My favorite is using bed restraints combined with an overnight laxative so they experience a true feeling of helplessness.

Summary

Hopefully this has been helpful and helps you understand what your partner identifies as. If this all feels too much I’d recommend starting with the diaper and usage elements first as this is normally the most important step and then layer in the AB and forced elements over the next couple of months.

I’m also conscious that I’ve likely missed off a big section I should have covered so let me know in the comments.

[dommedip]

Mommy came over last night and requested that I wear for the night, the aftermath is clearly evident by the blue stripe on my little king. I hope she changes me soon...

[dommedip]

Well after being logged out of this tumblr for a good minute.... it's time to get her back active again

#diapergirl #ab/dl

[dommedip]

He’s fucking you in missionary but you’re stroking his face and saying “that’s it, baby. That’s my good boy.”

[dommedip]

You wanted to die.

A 3 part story by dommedip

I've written a few stories and wanted to share them. Please let me know how y'all feel about this. This is based on a kinky day with mommy not long ago. Parts 1 & 2 will be the truth to our dynamic while 3 will stray to a partial fantasy.

NSFW 18+ ONLY!

Part 1

It wasn't out of the ordinary to have a kinky little space night with your girlfriend. You were happy she accepted it really. Grateful if anything. Although she wasn't keen to a diaper fetish other than seeing the negative oddball vice article; she accepted you and yours. What started as a curiosity in the bedroom started to get more fun for the both of you. Frequent diaper changes, and everything in between. It started as a weekly thing, then a few times a week and now it's turned to nearly nightly.

She's been enjoying it as much as you.

You'd loved to listen to hypnosis on nights when she wasn't home. Especially when you'd get stoned. It seemed to take it's effect on you more that way. It became a common thing while you were wearing to become wet rather quickly. Overnight wettings were also common.

She thought it was cute seeing the stripe on your little kings turn blue the next morning.

This morning was different. After a long night of snuggles with your mommy, blankie and favorite stuffie; you woke up very wet. As you woke up mommy was checking Instagram and was letting you rest. She saw you stirring and instantly put my pacifier back in your mouth. You loved these mornings.

"Good morning honey, you're soaked! Let's get ready for the day."

Truth be told, you thought it was another lazy Sunday. You started to get up when she told you to sit back down.

You were very, very wet.

Mommy grabbed your crotch and said

"There's enough room to take your morning coffee later"

That meant you were going to Starbucks. She dressed you up in normal adult clothes with the exception of your plain onesie undershirt she had just buttoned on you.

You went and got your coffee and came home. It didn't last long until you were adding to your already full diaper. It was damp on your butt; and you are not a fan of that.

Shortly after it was time to get out of your diaper, sometimes you'd change into another but most days it was time for regular adult chores and big boy undies. Little space was mostly done at night before bed and sometimes the next morning if you weren't going to work. Mommy laid out all your supplies so that meant it was a change.

It was different though. You usually had to beg to continue your little space. It didn't typically take this turn. You were happy that Mommy was taking charge. Mommy had everything out, a new little king, powder, wipes and lotion.

Your paci made it back into your mouth as you clenched your blankie.

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

*POP*

Your onesie was unsnapped revealing a long blue line from your sodden diaper.

Expertly, mommy made you straddle her legs and the tapes were being peeled off your belly revealing your nether regions. It felt chilly even though the house was filled with warm June air. The AC was on but not quite enough. Yet just enough to make everything cold down there.

Being wet didn't help.

The diaper change was pretty routine, you couldn't help but get horned up during a change but such is life with a diaper fetish. That's when the different part of this change hit.

"Sit still and give me a minute"

You got scared. You haven't had mommy surprise you like this yet.

It felt like forever

Then you saw it. She had a box. A box with a vibrating plug. There were times your little space was kinky and times it was relaxing. Your morning was relaxing until now. She opened the box with the new plug and proceeded to present it to you.

It was Bluetooth…

You seethed at the thought of her controlling you.

Without much protest and some gentle baby talk (and some lube) she slid it inside your tush.

You loved your plug, the humiliation, rush and the way it made you blow your load.

It felt great, you knew it was there. It was easily at least half an inch larger in every way from your normal one. It made you feel full. She then powdered you and taped up your fresh little kings. Followed up with a few light taps filling the air with a boatload of powder making your room smell like a nursery. Lastly was the buttons on your onesie.

*SNAP*

*SNAP*

*SNAP*

*SNAP*

You were reminded of your diapered and plugged state. You are Mommy's baby and she knows it.

End part 1...

[dommedip]

Making out with a diapered partner and they're sitting in your lap, making little whimpering noises and grinding down against your crotch.

You grab their hair and pull them away from you. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes, yes, please-"

"ah- ah. Do you need to go potty first? We can't have you making a mess once I take this off", you say squeezing them through the padding.

"I can hold it! I promise!"

"I don't believe that, honey. You said that last time, and what happened?"

His whole face turns pink. "I...couldn't hold it."

"Right. Now be a good boy and go for me, and then you'll get your wish."

He sits up a little, shifting so he's positioned over your crotch again, and he bites his lip. His face is even redder now, embarrassed. You run your hands up and down his arms and across his torso before grabbing onto his waist. "Come on, the sooner you fill that diaper the sooner I can get inside you."

With a quiet moan, the telltale hiss starts up and you can feel the warmth flooding between his legs against you. You smile, seeing the rapidly yellowing material. "There you go honey, good boy." He keeps panting as he wets, hips jerking in your grasp. The sound dies down and you ask "all done?". He just nods. "That was a lot, you really did have to go. I don't think you could've held that, that's why I have to keep you padded."

"I could have!"

"Sure you could have," you reply sarcastically. "Now let's get this thing off of you so I can properly fuck you."

[dommedip]

The Perfect AB/DL Diaper Check: A step-by-step guide

So you’re a caregiver, and it’s been a few hours since you’ve last changed your little’s diaper, so you know it’s time for a check! But how do you perform the most humiliating, blushy, little wrigging diaper check to make sure you skyrocket your little into littlespace with a helpful acronym.

D - Distraction: If you’re going to perform this expert-level caregiver maneuver, you need to begin with a distraction. Littles are easily occupied, so this could just be introducing a new toy, giving them their bottle or paci, or even telling them to look in the direction you want them to while you get your hands up close and personal with their diaper.

I - Initiate: This is where many caregivers would normally stop, but this is just the beginning for us! This is where you perform your normal diaper check procedure, by patting the front to feel for the warmth of little pee-pees, checking the leg cuffs with your fingers for saturation, and peeling back the rear side of the diaper to look for stinkies. You’re going to know if they need a change or not by this point, but if they’ve had an accident in their diapees, you’ll process through the next steps.

A - Apply Force: Now we’re getting to the fun part. Applying force is all about mushing that tush and squishing that padding! By applying force to their diaper, it’s assuring them that you know you’ve found something stinky in their pants, and they have no choice but to feel it themselves.

P - Pander: Its not enough to let them feel their messy diaper, now they need to hear all about it! Dawdle over them with phrases such as “gosh baby, I can’t believe you soaked your diaper and didn’t even know it!” Or “oh yeah, I knew from the second I walked over here that’s where that smell was coming from, it’s so stinky!” We’re really trying to up the blush factor here, so don’t skimp on the details.

E - Embelish: Now that they know that you know their diaper is saturated, it’s time that you know that they know that you know how to push all the right buttons (you know?). To embelish the diaper check, you need overexagerate what you’re doing. You can do this by saying “you must have fit an ocean’s worth of pee-pee in your diaper!” Or “I think I’m going to run out of wipes cleaning this dirty bum” to make this dirty diaper seem more daunting than any other they’ve had before.

R - Restrain: We’re not done poking and prodding this diaper just yet, but in order to move onto the next part, we need to hold this little one down. Either push them over a couch, lean them over your lap, or if you really want to go all out, tie them face-down to a bed or couch, so that you have unrestricted access to their diaper area.

C - Chastise: You know what’s better than a humiliating diaper check? Blush-inducing spankies! Now, we’re not trying to punish, but by chastise, we just want to drive home an element of dominance by applying some heavy force to the dirty diaper. A couple slaps with the hand or an implement will do just fine to bring our little stinker over the edge of helplessness.

H - Hugging: Okay, we’ve hit them with a little fire, now we want to go full-on sweet for the next step. After they have been chastised, bring them into your lap and hold them tight, but make sure you’re still touching their diaper, either by patting it or by bouncing the little on your knee to continue to make them really feel the dirty diaper. Lay a little love on them, because they’re about to get really vulnerable, really fast.

E - Expose: Time to let them know that they’re in for a diaper change right now! At this point, they’re probably ready for it, but by exposing this fact to them, you’re letting them know you decide that it’s time for a fresh diaper, not them. Not only that, but you’ve also exposed their need for you to change them, and nothing will make a little feel subby sooner than guiding them by hand to the changing table as they waddle to their designated spot for their diapers.

C - Clean: We’ve had a lot of fun here today, but now it’s time to get to business. Now they they are on the changing table, go through you’re regular diaper changing routine with them, but don’t forget to emphasize how saturated their diaper is, since we are going the extra mile here. Once they’re all clean, put their clean diaper on them and give it a good rub, letting them know how much better feeling (and smelling) their fresh diaper is now that you’ve changed them.

K - Kissies: Remember, as caregivers we do these things out of love for our littles, and as littles we let our caregivers do these things to us because we know they love us. End it all with a big kiss on their pacifier and a raspberry on their belly, and bring them back to where they were playing so that they can get back to important little business until the next time they need their diaper changes, which probably won’t be too much later based on how many accidents they have!

What is the most important part of a diaper check to you? What do you like to do to your little? What do you want your caregiver to do to you?

[dommedip]

Mommy required a diaper check picture this morning. Needless to say the little kings take a beating almost nightly.

[dommedip]

Teases to Put Your ABDL Partner Into Littlespace

Just a few ideas of teases, jokes, taunts, and exciting promises to your little one to make them as blushy, little, and regressive as possible.

"I love you, too... but I still think you need to stay little a bit longer. Don't worry, I'll take care of you, little one!"

"Aww, you LOVE being mine, don't you? Come on, you can tell me."

"Who's my good little baby, huh? Is it you? Who's my blushing baby, hmm?" (Extra points if you peel their hands back when they cover their face)

"Well, I think my little angel might need a diaper bag, hmm? Are you big enough to hold it, or should i?"

"That's ok baby, I know you can't handle all those big adult things. That's why I made you my little baby again, isn't it, huh?"

"I love you, but I don't think you're ready to be big quite yet.. maybe if you're very, very good I can give you a shot at pullups... but not quite yet!"

"Does somebody need a trip over my lap? Somebody just needs a spanking to know how to be good for me?"

"Awww, you don't like being babied? But you seem VERY excited down here..."

"Hey hey hey, hands off unless you need mittens! Maybe you need those hands protected..."

"What, do you get EMBARRASSED thinking people can see you be my cute baby? Huh? Well... good. I love when my sweetie is nice and blushy!"

"I just love how cute you look when you're feeling nice and snuggly"

"We should get dinner somewhere nice. Do you need extra layers, or do you think you can hold your potty like a big girl/ big boy?"

"Now honey: I know you want to be big, but I'm just not sure yet. Don't you just love your stuffies, and being a good little one? Hmm? Exactly! No more of that silly 'big boy/girl' talk"

"Awww, i just love seeing you so cute and baby brained!"

"Well SOMEBODY needs an early bedtime... and I don't think it's the (big girl/big boy), or the (mommy/daddy), do you?"

"I just love how SWEET you are when you're all little and needy for me. I might have to keep you this way..."

"I just love it when you get all cute and blushy for me baby. Come on... show me those cute blushy cheeks! There they are!!"

"Awww, you LOVE it when I talk all cute and condescending, don't you little cutie?"

"Please, now, come along or do I need to show all these nice people what it looks like when you get a spanking, huh?"

"Good baby: I love finding you already nice and little for me!"

"Awww, is somebody blushing? Come on, you don't need to hide from me!"

"Oh silly, nobody cares that you're a crinkle pants, and I'm sure nobody will notice anyhow!"

"Don't you want to be my good baby? Hmm? Or do you need a STRICTER caregiver, huh?"

"Are you wet again already? Really? Did somebody go potty in their diapee, huh?"

"Well who could have known: a Wet diapee? I guess I was right to keep you nicely padded, wasn't I sweetheart?"

"Nobody will care, baby: you just let me worry about that, no reason for babies to worry!"

"Seems like SOMEONE really enjoys being my helpless little crinklebutt, huh?"

"Aww, don't hide that face! I need to see you being all flustered and cute!"

"Nope nope nope! We can't possibly leave until you've used the potty, and shown me your nicely wanted hands, little one!"

I'll add more as they jump to mind, but feel free to add your own and your favorites!

And as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay kinky!!

[dommedip]

Top Ten Little Things a Spouse Can Do for Their ABDL...

Been meaning to write this for awhile… my wife is not into diapers, but is very understanding of my interest in them. While she does not enjoy wearing them, she has no problem if I feel the need to put one on. Still, she finds little ways to be a part of my fetish without having to make herself uncomfortable.

Here is a quick list of the top ten ways she adds to the diaper experience without wearing one herself. If you have a spouse that does not want to play an active role in your diaper play, maybe they might still be willing to do some of these things:

10. Makes me diaper myself in front of her.

I can get shy when I decide to put on a diaper. I usually will retreat to a private area to get suited up, but she will often put her foot down and tell me to just diaper up in front of her. She’s never really looking since she isn’t really interested, but the idea that she might be watching is very appealing.

9. Draws attention to the fact that I am wearing.

She doesn’t ever do it unless we are alone (she knows I don’t want anyone else to know). During those times she will mention that I am crinkling, or give a playful slap on my butt. Sometimes she will just grab me and nod her approval.

8. Demands I strip down to check me out.

If I am wearing a pair of sweatpants or loose pajama pants and walk by she occasionally will stop me and tell me to drop my pants. She’ll then have me turn around a few times, and revel in my shyness. Sometimes she’ll drop a remark if I am wet, saying I need to go change.

7. Makes me wet in front of her.

This is pretty huge for me, since I am a bit shy when it comes to peeing. It doesn’t happen often, but there have been times where she’ll tell me to wet myself and wait until I obey.

6. Makes me wear in public.

Another huge one, since she knows I feel awkward going out in public with a diaper. Almost any trip to the movies she will check to see that I am wearing a diaper before we go. There is no feeling as awesome as when she pulls back the back of my pants to make sure I am all diapered up for a movie with her. However sometimes it is also for regular outings. We’ll be going out and she will tell me to go put on a diaper before we go. Or I have an errand to run and she’ll ask if I’m wearing a diaper.

She doesn’t do it for herself, it’s only because she knows I love it when she does it. I had to sit down and ask her to do it in the beginning, but now it’s just second nature for her.

5. Mentions diapers during sex.

She won’t wear a diaper, but she doesn’t mind talking about it. She’ll often mention what she’d look like if she put one on, using at as a form of “dirty talk” that appeals to me.

4. Never asks… commands.

She knows that it is more of a thrill for me if I don’t have a choice, so she will make it a point of forcing me to put on a diaper. She notices when I am in the mood, or just need a pick me up, and will suddenly get an evil look in hereyes and say, “Go put on a diaper. NOW.“ 

3. Surprises me with a prolonged diapering.

This can happen out of the blue, where she will suddenly tell me to wear diapers around the clock. Usually she will allow me to use the toilet when I need to poop, but the best times are when she doesn’t even allow that. The times that I would ask permission to use the toilet to poop, and she would say no, are probably some of my best diapered moments.

2. Interrupts me in the bathroom and gives me a diaper.

To be fair, when I need to poop I can be in the bathroom for thirty minutes or more and my wife hates to wait. On occasion she will come in and give me a diaper, telling me to get off the toilet. I don’t get any say in this and have to vacate the bathroom for her immediately.

There have also been instances where I need to be doing something (like cleaning or packing to go out for a weekend) when my stomach starts cramping up. This usually means that I am out of commission for twenty minutes while she continues on her own. Sometimes she gets fed up and makes me put on a diaper instead so I can keep helping. 

1. She is accepting, even though it is not her thing.

Bottom line, she accepts me for who I am and doesn’t let my love of diapers bother her in the least. She finds little ways to add to my experience without allowing it to affect her. She recognizes that this is something I need, and has always helped to make me feel better about myself. She makes sure I don’t look at diapers as a negative aspect of my life.

BEST. WIFE. EVER.

[dommedip]

Mommy has been keeping me nice and dry lately ❤️

[dommedip]

I didn't believe how wet my diaper was until mommy grabbed a picture for me

[dommedip]

Sleeping fetish probz

I put my little one to bed with his pacifier and stuffie early tonight so I could get some mommy stuff done.

As he slept peacefully I folded laundry and cleaned up. Watching over him sleeping puts me into mommy-space and turns me on so much.

Seeing his little mouth sucking so gently on his pacifier and his adorable little sleeping face - just UGH😍

I can’t help myself so I start playing with him in his sleep, then I’m grinding on top of him. He slowly wakes up and realizes what’s happening but he’s too far into little space.

His fussing and whining “mommy” only turns me on more. It’s so adorable. He pouts and tries to push me off of him but I can’t stop. (I know, such a bad mommy.)

Turns out he was really far in little space and getting more and more upset so as difficult as it was I stop riding him lol. (It took all of my strength to stop.)

Realizing he’s actually fussing & super little I suddenly switch tones. I start to shush him lovingly, rub his tummy, and clean him up with a baby wipe. Within seconds he’s back to sleep peacefully.

And here I am super horny again.

Sheesh I can’t even help myself. Just wanna jump his bones whenever he’s sleeping because he’s just so stinking cute!

Does anyone else get turned on by seeing their little sleepy and helpless?

[dommedip]

Mommy's view tonight ❤️

[dommedip]

Releasing ABDL Shame

I recently got a private message on Fetlife from a new guy-friend who, like me and so many others have, is struggling with the guilt and shame of having ABDL interests, particularly in light of his outward masculinity.  I thought I would repost my advice here in case it can be of any help to our Tumblr friends… while we aren’t by any means experts on shame or self-care, I thought perhaps my thoughts could help others.

—

For me, there have been a couple of core concepts that have helped me release that shame and guilt. I’ll share them here in full knowledge that these aren’t the kinds of things that seep in overnight: it took me a couple of years to deeply internalize them, and even today I have to remind myself at times that I lose self-compassion or feel threatened. So, be kind to yourself… this kind of self-integration is a process, and by reaching out to others you have started it brilliantly. Kudos for your bravery!

Everyone is masculine and feminine.

Seriously, we all contain both of these energies and their requisite traits in spades. Our culture tells us a lot about how we should feel, how each gender should act, etc., but most of it is polarized nonsense for the sake of quick characterization. (One researcher refers to it as a “social role heuristic,” basically a shortcut to understand where we fit in the pecking order). For a couple hundred millennia, males have been depended upon to be bigger, physically stronger, hunt, etc., and females have been depended upon to bear and nurse children, gather provisions, nurture community support, etc., and our cultural standards have developed around these necessities. Unfortunately, we have also lumped a whole lot of psychological concepts into these functional realities as our societies have gotten more complex and our ability to abstract has improved. So big/strong/independent has turned into a role and bear/gather/nurture has turned into a role which eventually turned into a set of beliefs which eventually turned into our concept of gender.

All that to say, you are both. You are strong and independent and tough and assertive. You are also soft, open, in need of love, tender, small, and weak. Both are true, and neither requires the other to go away in order for itself to exist. As Walt Whitman famously wrote, “I am large. I contain multitudes.” I go to work, I make command decisions, sometimes I guide millions of dollars and hundreds of jobs with my choices… and when I come sometimes I want to get diapered and taken care of, and both are equally awesome. Neither requires the other one to go away in order to be true. You need to be taken care of, just like everybody else, and don’t let the business suit or power play trick you into thinking you need to polarize. You don’t. Go kick ass during the day, come home and Little-out at night. Or vice versa. You are contain multitudes.

You are not broken.

Man, this is the crux of it. Sexuality is impossibly complex, and it exists at such a fundamental level in our brain development and evolution… it pre-dates conscious thought, and our conceptualizations of our sexuality are merely best-guesses at trying to characterize something wholly abstract and base-functioning.

To think of sexualities, regardless of how culturally deviant, as being character flaws or mistakes is to miss how sexuality works. If you don’t believe me, look at the NIH-funded studies that demonstrated how easy it is to create a lemon fetish in rats. Are these rats morally corrupt? Are they broken? Are they perverts? Are they broken? Nope… their sexual development happened to overlap with a sensory stimulus and they ended up with a fetish. Awesome. Anybody got any guesses on why men are attracted breasts? Yup. Because that’s how that works.

There is nothing wrong with you. There never was. Your sexuality may be different than most people you know, but it’s not broken.  There is no normal sexuality, and I guarantee that you are surrounded by dozens of men and women at work who have sexual fetishes, bizarre interests, turn-ons and practices that they work hard to hide from the world.

You deserve to try to be happy.

The pursuit of happiness is, as the US Declaration of Independence so eloquently puts it, an inalienable right. I think it’s an inherent trait; a motivational force built into each of us in some degree that drives behavior. So goddamnit, if something makes you happy and you can do it without violating others’ right to their pursuit of happiness, go after it. Few things make me as happy as diapering my wife, and few things make me feel as loved as being diapered. So I’m going to do it a lot; it’s fantastic. If I’m not doing it enough, I’m going to create time, and if I find I’m doing it too much, I’ll back it off, as it isn’t actually making me happy. Your pursuit of something that makes you happy isn’t just nice, it’s essential to embracing your own beautiful humanity. So fucking run after it; find your thing, and do it a lot. If your partner isn’t game, that’s OK… he/she doesn’t have to be, and he/she has a right to pursue happiness too, and you guys can work out how that will work for you. Pursuing happiness is part of valuing your own humanity; if you would want it for a friend, you can want it for yourself.

Let shame teach you, then let it go.

Shame and fear researcher Brenè Brown says it better than I ever could in her TED talk on shame:

“In surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule — not a research rule, but a moral imperative from my upbringing — “you’ve got to dance with the one who brung ya”. And I did not learn about vulnerability and courage and creativity and innovation from studying vulnerability. I learned about these things from studying shame. And so I want to walk you in to shame. Jungian analysts call shame the swampland of the soul. And we’re going to walk in. And the purpose is not to walk in and construct a home and live there. It is to put on some galoshes — and walk through and find our way around.”

It’s OK to feel it.  It’s OK really dislike that feeling, too.  But let it teach you; let it tell you about your beliefs and your contradictions without judging yourself for feeling those things.  Then, when you’re ready, choose to begin to step out of it.  Avoiding shame (like avoiding any feeling) just compresses it into a more potent version of itself, and it comes out in dark and unpredictable ways.  Don’t try *not* to be shameful, but rather ask what it teaches you about yourself, then choose to replace shame with compassion as you walk out of the swamp.

I hope this is helpful, and I’m really glad you reached out; that moment of vulnerability is a moment of profound creative and renewing energy.

My Best,

RY

[dommedip]

She lay there in bed on her back staring at the ceiling in the dark. Her husband had his back to her, breathing steadily. She guessed he was asleep, or at least close to it. He shifted a slightly, causing the adult sized diaper he was wearing to crinkle under the coveres.

Her husband had recently confessed that he had a fetish for wearing diapers, and had enjoyed it for most of his life. They made him relaxed and comfortable and used to help him sleep more soundly, until he made himself stop. Now that they had been married for almost a year, he wanted to come clean and potentially make it a part of their life.

She had gone with it, but now, two weeks later she was still trying to wrap her head around the appeal of wearing a diaper and wanting to be like a helpless little child. They had been doing research together, but it was still a little mind-boggling. She learned about AB's and Mommies and everything in between, but wondered if that was meant for her. It was all so unusual.

And yet...

"I think you would actually make a fantastic mommy. But you gotta have an open mind about it. Don't worry though, babe. Take all the time you need."

She would think about it and think about it, and resist, and repeat. Maybe what she had to do was stop thinking so much.

She rolled over and touched her husband's shoulder. He started slightly and mumbled "Hey, babe."

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Can't sleep?"

"Not really. Can you?"

"Me neither. Come closer."

She scooted in and molded her body around her husband's back like a big spoon, wrapping her arm over him and kissing him on the back of his neck. His diaper pressed thickly into her lower abdomen.

"I keep thinking about this..." she trailed off.

"You mean me wearing a diaper in bed?"

"Yeah. It..."

"I can take a break if you want, babe. I know its a little weird for you..."

"No it's not that, actually it's..."

How could she explain how much it warmed her heart to see her husband sleep so peacefully for the first time, all traces of worry gone from his handsome face, not having to worry about wetting the bed at night, or disturb his sleep to go to the bathroom? How she loved seeing him give up all control of his body so he can have someone else take care of him for a change? How honored she felt that he trusted her with one of the deepest secrets of his heart?

"It's so white and puffy...it kinda makes your butt look like...like a marshmallow."

A pause, then he chuckled. "I guess you're right, it does look like a marshmallow! I never thought of that."

He was quiet for a moment before he said "I love marshmallows..."

He said it in such an innocent yet mischievous way, she was expected him to finish the sentence with "Mommy" and found herself disappointed that he did not. Strange.

She tentatively took her hand and caressed it down his side to the waist band of the diaper. She had never allowed herself to touch it before. She even asked him to wear under clothes until she got used to it, but he got hot in pajama pants, so he was just wearing a t shirt with the diaper.

Her hand continued down the side and around his bottom until her hand rested right in the middle of the thickest of the padding. "Are you comfy cozy, baby?"

A pause, before he answered. "Yes," he breathed into the darkness.

Instinctively, she gently patted his bottom like an adult would pat a precocious little child on the head. She heard him gasp.

"Is this okay?" She asked tentatively.

"That's great!" He gasped.

"Is it a...turn on?"

"Oh, yes..."

She was strangely turned on too, noticing the sudden surge of moisture gathering between her legs accompanied by horniness. She had an urge to repeatedly press her pubis against the padding in front of her.

"Have you wet your diaper tonight?"

"I think so..."

"I think so what?"

"I think so...Mommy?"

She was suddenly so proud that he gave her the right answer, she squeezed him tight and repeated kissed his cheek.

"That's right, baby! Good answer! Can Mommy check you?"

Loving how she was opening up to the dynamic her husband said "yes, please, Mommy."

Still spooning him, her hand traveled from the back of his diaper to his front and grasped a handful of the swollen padding, and something else swollen and stiff inside it.

"Oh, baby," she whispered in his ear, "you've got a big boy penis in that diaper!"

"That's cuz my Mommy is pretty."

"Aww, she is?" Her clit started tingling, and her pussy was getting wetter and wetter. She kept gently grinding into him.

"Yes, she's pretty and sexy and she has nice boobies..." his voice was getting higher and higher, and he started inching the blanket over his face in embarrassment.

"Aw, baby you're so sweet! Give me a big hug!"

She pushed his shoulder down so he was lying face up and she straddled on top of him, wrapping her arms around him, and he hugged her back. Her pussy was pressed right over the diaper now, leaving a slick on the material.

She sat up on top of him. They could just barely see each other in the dimness of the room. Her husband started tugging at the top of her nightgown.

"What's wrong, baby?" She asked.

"Can I have some milk, Mommy?"

"Sure, baby, you hungry? Here..." she pulled the straps of her nightgown down, revealing her breasts and allowing her husband to take one nipple in his mouth, feigning nursing, and kneaded the other gently in his hand. She held his head up against her chest, hovering over him and kissing his hair.

She didn't understand how, but the neediness and the innocence were making her feel so good, and she could feel warmth and sensation building in her core. "Does this make you happy, baby?"

"Yes, Mommy," he said, lips still wrapped around her nipple.

"Do you like it when I pat you on the butt?" She asked as she reached between her legs. Her finger found her clit and started working it in circles, enhancing the pleasure building steadily.

"I do, Mommy," he wined, very needy and eager to please.

"Good, baby" she gasped, the orgasm steadily approaching now. "You're such a sweet little boy. And so helpless."

"I am, Mommy. I need you."

"You're just a little baby who needs Mommy's help with everything. And you can't even use the potty like a grown up, can you" she continued in a sing-songy voice while her finger worked faster and faster, her hips thrusting against the diaper. Her Littles lips were still sucking hungrily on her nipple, enhancing the sensations growing and building between her legs and she felt his hardness in his diaper.

"No, Mommy, I can't. I want my Mommy all the time..." he whimpered and sucked and whimpered and sucked.

Finally, the orgasm exploded from inside her, filling her body with warmth and light and love, and she cried out with joy before she fell onto her husband's chest. She panted as his arms wrapped around her and he stroked her hair. She never felt anything like this before.

They lay together in silence for a few minutes, savoring the aftermath of the orgasm.

Finally, he asked "I take it you're used to it now?"

She laughed and said "I guess you could say that!"

[dommedip]

Hold my diaper when you hug or cuddle me.

By doing so you are letting me know that… - I have someone there who loves me for who I am and doesn’t mind changing a wet little. - I am too little to use the potty and I will be safe at night from accidents since you will be keeping me in diapers. - If I am already wet you know about it and will change me when the time comes. - Accidents are OK and are to be expected. - You love me just as much even if I’m not quite ready for the whole “potty training” thing!