donkeyow

[donkeyow]

Do autistic kids "grow out" of their autism? Why does it sometimes seem like there are so few autistic adults?

For Autism Acceptance Month, I covered this topic in this comic to help explain this disconnect! YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Twitter

[donkeyow]

[donkeyow]

How many people’s most beloved childhood stuffed animals are actually teddy bears, like I feel like that’s a thing someone made up. Reblog this and put what your longest owned and/or favorite stuffed animal as a child was in the tags, inquiring minds want to know

[donkeyow]

“Don’t assume that It’s too late to get involved” 

-Morrie 

Tuesdays with Morrie -Mitch Albom

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A.) The kind of family you would want to have when you grow old (how many kids you want, what age you would think you’ll get married, etc.)

I couldn't imagine building a happy family, I'm fine having my own company but I wanted to have a child (dog is okay). When the time comes when I have my own house and stable job I wanted to have a child, it’s not that I'm man hater but I can't imagine crying because he left us or crying because he is about to die. I know my self too well; I became more dependent if I have someone who always beside me. That's why I'm scared committing in a relationship. I also witnessed that if you have a partner in life he/she will enter in your life 50% of it and I can't imagine that.

B.) The job you wish to land in the future, a job that even if you weren’t paid, you would still be willing to do;

The job that I wanted to land in the future is to be Pediatrician, I love helping people especially children. In the future where I have enough money to go places where children needed my help. I wanted to form a group where we can help children with their health matter especially children who doesn't have enough money to medicate. I wanted to see their eyes full of joy and happiness.

C.) And give vivid imagery on what you are going to do on your retirement.

I imagine driving a sports car while playing a song "Top of the World" by Carpenters, on my way to the beach with my friends. We would were our bikini because why not? and I probabaly carrying the bag that I'm dreaming of. I would travel the world again but this time with my friends. Maybe this time I would give them a special gift that they wont forget. We would probably try new things since we love to try living like there is no tomorrow, shopping non stop and living a healthy and happy life. But I would still continue to help children maybe that time I will have my own orphanage to help children who needs home and care.

[donkeyow]

"buhata ang gusto nimo buhaton"

-madersu

Dear Mama,

First of all, I wanted to say thank you for everything that you’ve done to us. Thank you for not leaving us behind, thank you for loving us unconditionally, thank you for giving your best for us, the lessons that you thought us and for the understanding. Thank you, for cooking the best food that we ever tasted, I really love your beef stake! I love the way hold my hands when you need my comfort, I love the super hug when you miss me so much! You always told me to be a good person and that I should understand every thing especially people. That I should love what I do and do something that I love. You always encourage me to be contented in what I have in life, but I will always go against that. You keep reminding me that you where there, you will always support me in anything. I'm sorry for being a hard headed child, I'm sorry for doing something irrelevant, I'm sorry for being irresponsible sometimes, Sorry for being a crying baby sometimes. I'm sorry for being so ambitious, I just wanted to have a better life for us. I'm sorry for all the things that I did. I'm sorry that sometimes I won't listen to your advice. I'm sorry for everything, mang you know how much I Loved you. There are sometimes that I a temp to die because I was thinking that your life will be better if I'm gone, I'm sorry for thinking that. There was also a time when I was imagining what would be my life if you were not my mom but I can't imagine it because your were the best mom that God gave me and I was so thankful for that. There are times that I hated you like the way you discipline us I mean It's so unfair to me, your way of disciplining to me was by hurting me (but you explain it anyway and asked for forgiveness). But I was thankful for that, Its just before I can't understand It. Thank you for your "ni sakung sa langit" na patience because that thought me everything. I forgive you mang and I was hoping that you would forgive me too. I will strive hard to achieve my dream because I'm not dream for my self but also for you. I wanted to buy you things that you want, to repay everything that you've done to us. I love you mang! Please stay with us until we are all successful so that we can travel the world together and achieve your dream. I really want to see you achieving your dreams and going to places that you wanted.

“The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.” ― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

[donkeyow]

“You just work through it. You just hang in there.” ―If I Stay by Gayle Forman,

When I enter high school I still use my diary not until 8th grade, It was so weird that a high school student like me is still using a diary.I always wrote everything that happened to me for the whole day, my diary was my best friend I'll write everything I felt and everything that happens to me. All of my classmates first impression to me was “friendly” and that make me feel like unusual. Usually I will just sit in the corner with my earphone and imagining things that will happened in my high school journey. I don’t bother if no one likes me and I don’t care, but unusual things happened and lately I just found out that I was a friendly person. What makes me unique in my high school journey was I always present the best project, fort folio, and etc. to the class. Mostly my teacher will keep my projects because they said that they will pass it to the principal. I remember there was one girl who hated me so much she always said

“hay dili nata mag effort satung project kay si owie man gihapon ang pansinon”

so I made a move. The next time our teacher gave us a project I told my classmates that we would work together so that I can help them and they can help me too and they agreed. But even how much I thought them and helped them, their project was still different from mine. What makes me different for all my junior high journey was being weird, there are times that my classmates or even friends can’t understand me because of my different views and stand. I like things that other people cannot understand, eating foods that for them it was a weird one. Sometimes they misunderstood the things I’m telling them and it was a horrible feeling. They misunderstood my actions, But later on they will talk to me asking forgiveness because they realize after all it was for them.

I wrote a fable before, I remember my teacher was laughing when he heard it.

“to the other animals we are just a pet and in the other planet humans was a pets and pets was a human they treat human as what we treat pets. That planet called PoTiFe they have the smartest Dog Scientist and his name was Brati, he loves nature so much he often talked to them that’s thy their planet was composed only with the 2 colors. Blue and Green just water and Tress, they never experience flood and etc. because they value nature so mush just like their selves. One day one of the astronaut went in that planet he was lost and he thought it was our planet earth. So Brati welcomed him and gave him food and cloths to change. But the astronaut was afraid because he was thinking that pets invaded human beings. So what he did was he went down deep in the heart of the planet and killed the PoTiFe mother nature, PoTiFe became sick and all tress was starting to die. Brati made a decision they will conquer the planet Earth so that humans will pay the price. And the battle begins, there was a lot of people died and there are also a lot of Pets died but in the end everyone was fair. The mother nature of planet Earth gave birth and she gave it to planet PotiFe and everyone live happily ever after.”

Adulthood was like a stage of your life when you have to decide for your self, it is overwhelming, exciting but scary. You cant relax all the time because the world is revolving so you must. Every decision’s that you made has a consequence and you have to be ready for that. What makes Adulthood extra challenging is you have to balance everything in life just like time. Time for work because you have to earn to pay for your tuition. Time for studies to have a good grade’s, learnings for future purposes and to earn a degree. Time for family because you have to take good care of them, to make sure that everything is fine no one is sick or what and so that you wont lose them. And It was indeed challenging. I was hoping that after I graduation I can passed the Bored Exam and can have a stable job. I was hoping and if God will let me, I wanted to proceed in med to fulfil my dream and travel the world with my family.

[donkeyow]

"He be coming home late, and he's coming home late And he's bringing me a surprise”

-The Foster People- Pumped up kicks

The Big Five Personality Traits

The Big Five model resulted from the commitments of numerous autonomous researchers. Gordon Allport and Henry Odbert to begin with shaped a list of 4,500 terms relating to identity characteristics in 1936 (Vinney, 2018). Their work given the establishment for other clinicians to start deciding the essential measurements of identity.

Openness

This trait features characteristics such as imagination and insight.

Moderate, As I can recall I really love making arts with my projects, designing my doll clothes and even solving math problems. Every time I passed by in the art section of our school I always feel amaze even though I can see it every day. They always play my mind like every picture has something to say but I have to figure it out. But there are times that I hate changes and I can’t even understand other people why they like changing so much.

Conscientiousness

Standard features of this dimension include high levels of thoughtfulness, good impulse control, and goal-directed behaviors.

time preparing for my projects and I will be always the first one to submit. I always put so much effort in doing my projects especially when it comes to designing it. I’m always mad at my teacher that time because she cant follow the schedule that she set, I will always tell her that “ma’am science time naman” then she would reply “sige lang humanon na lang nato ning math” I sometimes mimic her because I already know what she would reply. There are one time that she asked to see my mother but my mother never came because of her work.

Extraversion

Characterized by excitability, sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness, and high amounts of emotional expressiveness.

Moderate, Sometimes I really enjoy being a center of attention but sometimes I preferred to be alone, enjoying the fact that nobody notice me like an alien. I love meeting new people having a new circle of friends and I sometime enjoy finding new friends but there is also time that I don’t want to talk, not even a respond to my teacher. If I wanted to be quite the I will stay quite for the whole day. I remember one of my favorite teacher shouted at me because I won’t talk and I started to cry because I didn’t expect that he would shout at me. Then they called my mother but I end up going home alone.

Agreeableness

This personality dimension includes attributes such as trust, altruism, kindness, affection, and other prosocial behaviors.

Moderate, I love caring other people since when I was a kid I really dreamed to become a nurse who cares to people. I often the one who will accompany my classmates if they feel sick and always advise them to drink water and wash hands always. I remember I always have this liquid hand soap in my pocket and has a first aid kit in my bag. There are times that I will manipulate my classmates so that they will give me some of their cookies and chocolates but later on my teacher found out and she warned me and I never do it again.

Neuroticism

Neuroticism is a trait characterized by sadness, moodiness, and emotional instability.

Low, I always felt relax and I don’t worry too much since I will plan ahead of time. I always enjoy my own company I don’t want to fight with others since I don’t care about their businesses. My teacher in grade 4 told me that I have my own world and always happy to be with my self. And she was happy with it because I’m not like other girls who always has a fight and end up principal office.

One of the best favorite memory during my elementary years was when I was in grade 2. It was a recess time and my teacher is playing a song “smack that” because he likes Black Americans songs. He went out for a while that time so if our teacher is out me and my classmates play time is stabbing pencils. We have to sharpen it before playing I remember I always use Mongol 2, after we sharpened our pencil. We would run around trying to stab each other and if some has a blood we would stop because we have a loser already.

[donkeyow]

Chikading, Chikading naglupad-lupad 🎤

Tong Tong Tong Pakitong-Kitong 🎤

One of my Playmates when I was a child was my brother, I also have a Girl's Friends but I don't usually talk to them I’m more comfortable with my brother that’s why I set a side my doll toys and learn to play guns and truckswe, ware just a year gap that’s why we are very close to each other. My brother was very fond in animals especially fish, spiders and dinosaur.

Every time we got home we should put our lunch box in the kitchen because my mother will check it if we eat our food before washing it. As far as I can remember my brother has a tarantula inside his lunch box and when my mother open the lunch box my brother’s tarantula went out and my mother screamed. One of our neighbor ran into our house to check us and there she found out that its just the tarantula. My mother was very mad at my brother because the tarantula stayed in our house for a week, but my brother was so happy about it and when the tarantula leaves he cried for the whole day he doesn’t even talking to me that time because he was mad at me for not taking he’s side and that was he’s first pet. He even named his tarantula “carlo” but after that my father brought us a bunch of dinosaur toys and eventually he move on. Unlike my other playmates my brother was a slow to warm up child he was very resistant at first but eventually he can manage to adapt new changes, but he can’t forget things.

I remember he is the one who thought me to be friendly and that the time I start talking with my playmates he even encourages me not to cry all time since I was the ate (eldest). He even told me to play with the girls because I might become a boy if I play with him all the time, my problem with the girls is they wanted to barrow my things and I really don’t like that idea.

That’s why I choose to be with my brother circle of friends, we usually woke up 6 am in the morning just to buy hot pandesal (salt bread) with the pair of hot chocolate drink. We would sit beside in Tilapya fish pond while eating our morning breakfast. After we eat we usually sing some songs/nursery rhymes, I would usually sing first since I love singing London bridge and Incy wincy spider, But our best and ultimate favorite was a Cebuano nursery rhymes. “Chikading, chikading naglupad-lupad” (bird, bird flying around) while running around the pond I remember we usually act the lines in the song and we also have this song “ Tong, tong, tong, tong, pakitong-kitong, Alimango sa suba gibantog dili makuha” we would sing like there is no tomorrow and after that we would share laughter and went home to take a bath. After that we would play all morning, climbing trees, finding different flowers and hunting spiders.

But my mother has a very stick rule we should be home by 12 noon to have our lunch, sleep at 1 o’clock, wake up at 3 pm, have some snacks before playing again and we have to be home in 5:30 pm to prepare for dinner. Except every Sunday, Every Sunday in the evening after having our supper me, my brother and friends would meet in the playground to watch the stars, we would lay in the ground while sharing our thoughts, dreams and what if’s. And when our parents called us it is the time for us to say a sweet Good night.

[donkeyow]

Parenting Style

There are diffrent models of formulating parenting style for parents, The Authritatrian Type, The Permissive Type, The Authoritative Type and The Uninvolved Type. Parenting style is considred as a knowing the attitude or the parental authority towards the child. Parenting style is a way to furnish the emotional feelings between a parent and children, it has a great impact on the family way of life.

The Authroritative Type

The Authritative parent has a high expectation for achievement and maturity with their child, but they are warm and responsive. They usually set rules and boundaries by providing guidance, and discussion. They usually listen in reasosns of the child in order to guide them well when their child made a mistake parents usually provide a explanations for thier actions. Explaination is very important for children so that they will be aware of their mistake and the reasons why they cannot do it again. Explanation also allowing the kids to know ans understand values, morals and goals. It can also help them to develop self-esteem, to be more independent and happy and contented.

The Authoritarian Type

There are two Characteristics of the authoritarian parents first is the level of parental control and low levels of responsiveness. In this tyoe of parenting has a high demand of blind obedience, they usually use these lines "because I said so". They Usually focus on rules and orders, any attempts to reason with them are seen as backtalk. These parents use stern discipline and often engage in hash punishment such as controlling the child behavior. Their ways of disciplining children are peremptory, concerned with marking status distinctions and coercive. Children who experience with this kind of parenting style usually tend to be in unhappy disposition, insecure, behavioral problems, poor social skills and prone to mental issues.

The Permissive Type

Permissive parents set very few rules and boundaries and they hesitant to execute rules. These parents are very warm and soft but they do not like to say no or disappoint their children. Children who is engage with this parenting style has wost outcomes, the child can't follow rules, has a problem in social interaction, building a relationship and have worse self control.

The Uninvolved Type

Neglectful parents does not set boundaries or high standads, they are usually unconcerned to the needs of the children and uninvolved in their lives. Uninvolved parents may have menatl issues themselves, maybe they were neglect when they were kids or even experience abuse. Children raised by neglectful parents are more self-regylate, impulsive, addiction problems and a social behavior.

My Mama (mother) used a Authritative parenting style

I remember when I was in kinder she always encourages me to do good in school and she expect me to be one of the top 5 thats why I would study hard to meet that expectation that she wanted. I remember when every time I'm part of the top 5 I can have whatever I want or even go to the places that I wanted especially in crocodile park. But if I wont be the part of top 5 she usually talk to me and encourage me to do good the next time. As I can recall In my grade 1 days I'm supposed to be the 2nd Honor but I failed to submmit my requermints that time and I broke some rules and school that why I end up being the 4th I saw my mother's reaction. I saw how dissappointed she was but sill she encourage me to do good next time I remember she said "bata kapa, enjoy lang kung unsay naa ka" (you are still young, just enjoy the things that you have). Whatever I did wrong she will let me explain my side and after that she will explain her side too.

I grow up with her rules and boundaries until now and all I can say is it was really a good parenting style in such a young age I already know how to value things, morals and goals in life. When my father died I also learned to be independent and contend with the guidance of my mother.

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"Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever." ― Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Temperament: Difficult Child

Every time I ask my Mother about my childhood days she often told me “basta lisod kaayo ka na pag-kabata” (very difficult child) she does’t want to share her experience because she said she couldn’t imagine her life without my father by her side that time. 

But Today I ask her again to tell me my story when I was a baby and here it goes, 

“Difficult child very difficult, I remember when it was my first time to gave birth I almost died. But I was thinking about my beautiful daughter, if she’s okay? did she cry? I haven’t heard anything! I wanted to see her. Those are the questions i have in my mind as the doctor placed an oxygen mask as I am about to pass out, but all I think is my daughter, I badly wanted to see her. When I woke up i heard a very unfamiliar cry and I immediately look around, I saw your father carrying a baby girl. I was so happy it’s the best gift that I ever receive in my whole life, I remember I was crying when I held you in to my arms. So warm, so small and a crying baby. 

Every time I put you in your crib you cry. The moment you realized you were left alone, you cry. You always wanted to be carried, I can’t even eat properly or to have some time for my self because of that. Luckily your father was there to take turns with me, to take good care of you while I’m out for a moment. To look for you while I’m processing your papers, and to be your playmate when I’m preparing your food. The funny thing about you is that every time I bath you, you always giggle. And you always preferred cold water over warm water. If I bath you with warm water, you will start crying. You are the only baby that I knew who prefers to be bathed in cold water. You don’t talk whenever we have visitors over; strangers are relatives. You’d rather lock yourself up in your room playing alone. I remember when we force you to talk with someone even just like you age you will start crying even seeing other kids inside our house. Sometimes your playmates will ask me why wouldn’t  you talk and they found it weird. Thats the time I realized that you have your own world, you don’t need anyone to be happy because you can be happy on your own. You love having adventure and was curious with everything but you don’t need a company to make those adventures because you can have adventure with your self. I was scared that you may grow up without friends and end up to be an introvert. 

Your always invited in birthday parties, all the kids was so happy playing and running. But there you are staying in the corner talking to your blue’s clues toy. In the age of 3 you already know what is yours and not, you will start crying when your cousins asked you if they can barrow your shoes or clothes. I often witnessed when your were talking to your shoes asking them to be with you when you grow up.” 

-mom 

She also told me that I really love flowers and fruits, she said I always keep reminding my father that he need to stop by in the market to buy some fruits or flowers. I was also love helping my mother with her plants and how I often talk to them because my mother told me that we have to talk with the plants for them to grow and grow. I will wait outside the house to see if he brought any of the two that I asked him and when he forget I would ask him such as “do you still love me?” or  “are you mad at me?”. My Father would just look at me and hug me, my mother told me that every time I ask those silly questions me and my father will go in playground. sitting in the swing and talking to me explaining things as if I was a grown up kid who can understand everything that he said. 

I remember when I was in kinder I really love the sea and the smell of it, salty and fishy. Every Friday when our class ends I would usually stop by to collect shells since my school is near in the ocean. My advantage to all my classmates before was my mother wouldn’t pick me up after school going home in my own since I can easily memorize places. I love collecting shells in the seashores and playing with the small waves. I know that when the time I got home I would face my consequence because my mother wouldn’t allow me to play near the sea. When I got home my shoes was wet, socks wet and even my uniform. When my mother saw me she usually shouts with this line “ASA NASAD KA GIKAN!?” (where have you been?) and I will show to her my shells that I collected and simile. Sometimes my mom would spank me because of how hard headed I was, but my father would defend me and after that we would talk about my wrong doings. 

“On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered,  ‘Life will never be the same.’”

- On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman

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MARY AINSWORTH'S ATTACHMENT STRANGE PATTERNS

SECURE ATTACHMENT

Secure connection is classified by children who appear a few trouble when their caregiver/mother takes off but are able to compose themselves knowing that their caregiver/mother will return. Children with secure connection feel ensured by their caregiver/mother, and they know that they can depend on them to return. 

A stranger, confederate, joined the mother and infant. after a set time had passed, the mother would leave the room, leaving her child with stranger. The children with secure attachment to their mother would cry for a few minutes but were able to compose themselves and play with the toys. 

INSECURE/AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

A child with the anxious-avoidant uncertain connection style will dodge or overlook the caregiver/mother showing some feelings when the caregiver/mother leaves or returns. the child will not investigate exceptionally much in any case of who is there. 

A few behaviors which will cultivate an Avoidant Attachment in babies and children incorporate a parent or caregiver who routinely denies to recognize their child’s cries or other appears of troubles or fear. Effectively smothers their child’s shows of feeling by telling them to halt crying, develop up, or toughen up. 

INSECURE/AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT 

Ambivalent Attachment in common, a child with a anxious-resistant connection fashion will regularly investigate small interesting situation or mostly strange situation and regularly attentive of strangers, indeed when the caregiver/mother is present. the child is for the most part ambivalent when they return.

Insecure-avoidant newborn children are related with unresponsive essential care. The child comes to accept the communication of needs has no impact on the parents infant are related with sensitive and responsive essential card. Unreliable ambivalent connected children are related with conflicting essential care. Some of the time the child needs and met, and in some cases they ore overlooked by their parents. 

INSECURE/DISORAGNIZED ATTACHMENT

Disorganized attachment creates from a parent’s reliable disappointment to reply fittingly to their child’s troubles, or by a parent’s conflicting reaction to their child’s sentiments of fear or trouble. 

a child mostly have a troubled to be left out with a stranger or new people to them, the need adjustment to get to know their new babysitter/caregiver.  

When I was in my Childhood, I grow up with a loving family and very supportive father. He always motivate me, play with me, dance with me and take good care of me. Secure Attachment, I always stay with my father side even when he is playing cards with his friends. And every time he left me, I always stay where I was before because I know my father will come and pick me up. I often cry when there is a person who will approach me, I feel unsafe and worried that he/she might pick me up and hurt me. I remember there was a time when my father is playing a card with his colleagues and I was with him, when they are playing I fall asleep and woke up without a single sight of my father. I did not cried but when my father colleague approach me I start crying I feel scared that time and I wanted to see my father badly. They call my father and when I saw him I feel safe and assured.  

[donkeyow]

MARY AINSWORTH'S ATTACHMENT STRANGE PATTERNS