donnbells

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Mindful

Definisi prioritas dan rasa cukup bagi setiap orang itu berbeda. Sehingga di perjalanan hidup ini, jika kita membanding-bandingkan "apa yang sudah ada dan yang tidak ada di hidup kita" dengan orang lain—dapat berujung menyalahkan takdir-Nya yang dari kaca mata manusia yang buram dan terbatas ini di rasa tidak adil—lalu ruang syukur di dalam hati pun mengecil, sempit dan merasa serba kekurangan.

Kalau di pikir-pikir, skill untuk fokus hanya pada hidup dan keluargamu saja, adalah kekuatan untuk tetap bertahan hidup dan waras di tengah era ketika banyak orang menampilkan kesempurnaan hidupnya, yang sebenarnya semu dan tak pernah ada. Karena pada kenyataannya; kita semua di uji dan hidup dalam ujian setiap waktu.

Refleksi, 29 Mei 2025 05.19 wita

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“Truly this was the Son of God.”

Matthew 27:50-54

“[50] Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. [51] And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; [52] And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, [53] And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. [54] Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God.”

#Easter #Easter2023 #GoodFriday #GoodFriday2023 #artistsoninstagram #illustration #romancenturion #holiday #procreateapp #ipadpro #art

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1 Peter 2:23-25 NKJV 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

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𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

it’s a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes, you’ve got to step into a role you never signed up for. maybe your mom wasn’t the nurturing, protective figure she was supposed to be. maybe your dad let you down in ways that left scars. maybe your friends only stuck around to take, never to give. the truth? you can’t wait for someone to come and save you. you have to become your own mother.

ask yourself:

if your child was in your shoes—stuck in a bad relationship, getting treated like crap— would you tell them, “stay”? or would you say, “you deserve better than this”?

if your child was chasing their dreams but struggling, would you mock them? no. you’d guide them, push them to be their best. you’d discipline them with love and cheer them on with pride. now, apply that same energy to yourself.

be that mom who says: “get your shit together because you deserve the best life possible.”

but also the mom who says: “it’s okay to rest, i’ve got your back, and i’m proud of you.”

start showing up for yourself the way you needed someone to show up for you. and yes, it’s sad. sad that we even have to do this. but it’s also empowering to realize you can.

personally, here’s my story.

my mom never cared to take my pictures as a kid nor cared if a haircut made me happy or not, it was literally everything up to her convenience. it hurts now because i would’ve loved to look back and see those memories. but i don’t have them. i can count the photos of my childhood—20 pictures in 17 years. insane, right? so, i made a promise to myself: from now on, i will document my life. i won’t delete my photos. i’ll make sure there’s a record of who i was, what i felt, what i achieved. and when i have kids? you bet i’ll take pictures of them. i’ll curate their childhood with care because i know what it feels like to not have that.

but being your own mother isn’t just about the pictures or the memories. it’s about analyzing everything you missed out on and providing it for yourself now. it’s about being selfless enough to let go of bad habits that hold you back. it’s about kicking toxic people out of your life the way a mom would protect her child from bad influences. it’s about prioritizing your healing, even if it’s messy and uncomfortable. you have to heal your inner child. that 5-year-old who was bullied, that 13-year-old who was treated like shit in her first relationship, that 7-year-old who dreamed big but was told she couldn’t they’re all still inside you, waiting for someone to nurture them. and unfortunately, no one else is going to do it for you. no one else is going to come and fix the damage.

i made a pact with myself: when i have kids, i will raise them so well that they won’t ever need to “heal their inner child” at 17 or 18. they’ll be whole. they’ll be loved. they’ll know their worth from the start. but for now, i’m doing that for myself. and you need to do it for yourself too. because at the end of the day, the only way to heal is to become the person you needed all along. become your own mother.

what is the inner child?

the “inner child” is the part of you that holds your early experiences, memories, and emotions. it’s the 5-year-old you who loved to laugh but was scolded for being “too much.” it’s the 10-year-old you who dreamed big but felt dismissed. it’s the teen you who felt heartbreak for the first time but didn’t know how to process it. your inner child carries the wounds, fears, and unmet needs from your past, but also your natural creativity, curiosity, and joy. healing your inner child means reconnecting with this version of yourself, giving it the love and understanding it never received, and releasing the pain it has carried for years.

how do you heal your inner child?

1. journaling: dialogue with your inner child

dedicate a journal specifically to your inner child. write letters to them, like:

“dear [your name at 5/7/13], i remember when you felt [insert memory]. i’m sorry you went through that, but i’m here now, and i’ve got you.”

let your inner child respond. write as if you’re that younger version of yourself—pour out your fears, dreams, and questions. this process can uncover emotions and patterns you didn’t realize were affecting you.

2. therapy: safe exploration with a professional

a therapist (especially one trained in inner child work) can help you identify wounds and patterns from childhood. they’ll guide you in understanding how your upbringing shaped your beliefs about yourself and the world. therapy also gives you tools to reframe those beliefs and meet your emotional needs.

watch “dear zindagi” lol

3. look at old photos and memories

revisit old photos, journals, or artwork from your childhood. don’t just look at them—analyze them. (i wish i could d this but im stuck with 20 photos so… 😭) what do you notice in your younger self’s eyes, body language, or expression?

• ask yourself:

• what was i feeling here?

• did i feel safe? loved? excited? scared?

• what did i need in this moment that i didn’t get?

• use this reflection to understand your inner child’s unmet needs.

4. create new positive memories

your inner child is still alive within you, and they crave fun, love, and freedom. do things your younger self would’ve loved but never got to do: buy yourself a toy you always wanted. go to an amusement park or build a pillow fort. dance around your room like no one’s watching. this isn’t childish it’s healing.

5. practice reparenting

treat yourself as if you were your own child. when you feel sad or scared, don’t ignore it.

ask yourself: what do i need right now? and give it to yourself.

be the loving, supportive, and protective parent your inner child deserved.

6. identify triggers and patterns

notice when you’re acting out of a place of childhood wounds.

for example: do you get overly anxious when someone’s mad at you? do you seek validation in toxic relationships? trace these behaviors back to your childhood.

were you taught that love is conditional? did you have to “earn” attention by being perfect? once you identify the root, you can start rewiring your responses.

7. inner child meditations and visualizations

find a quiet space and imagine your inner child sitting across from you. visualize yourself comforting them, hugging them, and telling them they’re safe. remind them: “you don’t have to be scared anymore. i’m here for you.”

8. nurture yourself daily

make self-care non-negotiable. eat foods you love, sleep well, move your body, and spend time doing things that make you happy. when you treat yourself with care, you show your inner child they’re worth it.

9. forgive

healing isn’t about excusing those who hurt you. it’s about releasing the hold they have over you so you can move forward. write a forgiveness letter—not for them, but for yourself. (they don’t deserve the love i’m sorry)

“i release the pain you caused me so it doesn’t control me anymore.”

10. promise to break the cycle

vow to yourself (and your future children if you want them) just cause your grandma bleed on your mom and then your mom passed it to you does not mean you will make your future kids life miserable too. the generational trauma must break with you. your future child does not deserve it and so your inner child protect you inner child and when you have a child of your own be the best mother possible, i personally would love to make my future kids childhood so memorable and happy that they will feel the need to comeback and relive their childhood that’s the kind of childhood i want to give them

“i will not let this pain define me. i will create a life of love, joy, and freedom.”

healing your inner child isn’t easy, but it’s life-changing.when you reconnect with that innocent, wounded part of yourself, you’ll find that the love and peace you’ve been searching for has always been within you.

11. foster your inner child’s dreams

when you were a child, your dreams weren’t influenced by fear, rejection, or societal pressures. you dreamed with your heart wide open, purely and authentically. reconnecting with those dreams can heal the part of you that felt unheard or invalidated back then.

a. reflect on your childhood aspirations

• sit down and ask yourself:

• what did i want to be when i was 5? 10? 13?

• what made me happiest back then?

• what did i lose interest in because someone told me i wasn’t good enough?

• write down every dream, no matter how “unrealistic” it seems.

hint: those childhood dreams often point to your soul’s calling.

b. start chasing those dreams now

• even if your dreams have evolved, find ways to honor the essence of them.

• wanted to be a singer at 13? start singing lessons or recording yourself.

• wanted to help people? explore careers like psychology, teaching, or coaching.

• don’t hold back.

it’s not about being perfect, it’s about reconnecting with the passion your younger self had.

c. create small wins for your inner child

• maybe 8-year-old you always wanted to paint but never got the supplies. buy yourself a beginner’s set and paint, even if it’s messy.

• maybe 6-year-old you wanted to be a dancer. take a fun dance class and twirl like no one’s watching.

• small wins send the message to your inner child that they are finally being prioritized.

e. validate your inner child’s feelings and failures

• remind yourself:

“it’s okay that 10-year-old me struggled with making friends. i was just a child trying my best.”

• instead of shaming yourself for past actions, honor them.

every mistake was a step toward becoming the incredible person you are now.

f. use your dreams to shape your future

• your childhood passions aren’t just hobbies—they’re roadmaps to your authentic self.

• align your current goals with your inner child’s desires.

• if 7-year-old you dreamed of making people smile, maybe your career or side hustle should reflect that.

��� if 12-year-old you loved storytelling, find ways to write, act, or share your voice.

fostering your inner child’s dreams doesn’t just heal the past—it builds a future that feels authentic to you. every time you take a step toward those dreams, you’re telling your inner child: “you were always worthy. your dreams always mattered. and now, i’m making them come true for you.”

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Ibu Tercinta

Sebuah novel fiksi dari Korea Selatan, yang menceritakan tentang sosok ibu yang hilang. Apakah ibu menghilang dengan sengaja? Atau ibu menghilang karena anak-anak dan suaminya tidak menjaga ibu dengan baik?

Novel ini begitu mengaduk perasaan, haru - sedih bergantian di tiap lembar-lembar halamannya. Menceritakan sosok ibu, yang setelah hilang barulah amat terasa seberapa besar makna kehadiran dan juga pengorbanannya untuk kehidupan dan keluarga.

Buku ini terdiri dari 5 bab, yang menceritakan dari berbagai sudut pandang dari mereka yang kehilangan; anak pertama, anak ketiga dan suami . Juga ada bab tentang sudut pandang dari ibu itu sendiri dalam menjalani kehidupannya dan kenapa dia bisa hilang?

Dari buku ini, mungkin hati kita akan dibuat jauh lebih lunak dan rapuh untuk menyadari bahwa jadi ibu / istri itu berat, pengorbanannya besar dan seberapapun upaya selama hidup untuk membalas jasanya, tidak akan pernah mampu terbayar.

Kutipan-kutipan;

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Bahwa ibu adalah orang yang ingin kau panggil setiap kali kau sedang menghadapi masalah di kota ini

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Aku bertanya-tanya, seperti apa perasaan ibu di dalam dapur model lama itu? Memasak untuk keluarga besar kita? Ibu dan dapur seolah tidak terpisahkan, ibu adalah dapur dan dapur adalah ibu. Kau tidak pernah bertanya-tanya "Sukakah ibu berada di dapur?

Apakah ibu senang di dapur? Apakah ibu senang memasak?

Kata ibu "bukan masalah senang/tidak, aku memasak karena sudah seharusnya. Aku mesti ke dapur supaya kalian bisa makan dan bisa sekolah. Mana bisa kita hanya melakukan apa yang kita sukai? Ada hal-hal yang mesti dilakukan entah suka/tidak."

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Setelah ibu hilang, aku baru sadar semua hal ada jawabannya. Bahwa sebenarnya aku bisa memenuhi semua keinginannya. Cuma urusan remeh-temeh. Entah kenapa aku selalu membuat ibu kesal gara-gara hal seperti itu.

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Rumah akan terasa hidup kalau ada orang-orang yang tinggal di dalamnya, menyentuhnya, menjadi penghuninya.

Rumah selalu mengikuti ciri-ciri penghuninya, dan tergantung siapa yang tinggal di dalamnya, rumah bisa menjadi sangat nyaman/ sangat asing.

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Bagaimana mungkin kita selama ini hanya melihat Ibu hanya sebagai Ibu, seumur hidupnya? Walaupun aku sendiri seorang ibu, aku memiliki begitu banyak impian, dan aku masih ingat hal-hal dari masa kecilku, masa remajaku, dan sewaktu aku beranjak dewasa. Tak ada satu pun yang kulupakan.Jadi, kenapa sejak semula kita melihat Ibu hanya sebagai Ibu? Dia tidak mempunyai kesempatan untuk mengejar impian-impiannya, dan seorang diri dia menghadapi segala sesuatu yang ditimpakan zamannya, kemiskinan dan kesedihan; dia tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa tentang beban sangat berat yang mesti ditanggungnya, selain memikulnya dengan tabah,mengatasinya, dan menjalani hidupnya sekuat kemampuan, menyerahkan jiwa raga sepenuhnya. Kenapa selama ini aku tidak pernah terpikir tentang impian-impian Ibu?

Kalau aku tidak sanggup menjalani hidup seperti Ibu, bagaimana mungkin Ibu sendiri ingin menjalaninya? Kenapa hal ini tidak pernah terlintas di benakku waktu Ibu masih bersama kita? 🥹😭

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Rumah, 23 April 2024 21.32 wita

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Gregroreo: Waspadalah!

dan mereka tidak tahu akan sesuatu, sebelum air bah itu datang dan melenyapkan mereka semua, demikian pulalah halnya kelak pada kedatangan Anak Manusia.

Biasanya, kita di Kampung Sawah tak suka menyanyikan ini kecuali ketika ada di Jamblang, tapi lagu ini merupakan lagu yang cocok dengan minggu pertama Adven bertemakan Pengharapan. Syair lagunya begini:

Bila sangkakala menggegap dan zaman berhenti, fajar baru

yang abadi merekah; bila nanti dibacakan nama orang tertebus,

pada saat itu aku pun serta. Bila nama dibacakan, bila nama dibacakan, bila nama dibacakan, Pada saat itu aku pun serta.

Syair KJ 268 ini, berjudul asli When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, diciptakan oleh seorang penyair dan pemusik bernama James Black yang sangat mengasihi anak-anak muda. Dia menciptakan syair ini terinspirasi jawaban seorang gadis berusia 14 tahun yang dia panggil namanya ketika mengajar sekolah minggu dan tidak kedengaran suaranya. Anak ini menderita pneumonia dan meninggal dunia, punya latar belakang ayah yang pecandu narkotika. Dalam refleksinya James Black membayangkan, bagaimana jika keheningan saat memanggil nama anak itu terjadi juga pada manusia ketika Tuhan memanggil nama kita di saat akhir. 

Lagu ini punya jiwa misi yang kuat, untuk jadi saksi Kristus dan mengingatkan kita betapa berharganya iman kita dalam Yesus Kristus sehingga kita dikuatkan berharap. Mengobarkan harapan tak kunjung henti sebagai komitmen atas lilin pertama Adven kita nyalakan. 

Yesus pun berharap para pengikutNya punya keinginan yang kuat untuk bersaksi. Hidup dalam berjaga-jaga karena hidup tak selamanya dan kita akan mati. Lalu, kita akan berjumpa kembali dengan Mesias dan akan mempertanggungjawabkan kehidupan kita selama di dunia. Semua manusia akan menghadapi penghakiman. Dan mereka yang mengakui Yesus sebagai Tuhan dan Juruselamatnya, pun akan mendapatkan mahkota kehidupan. 

Karena itu, penting bagi kita untuk selalu berjaga-jaga dengan penuh segala kewaspadaan. Hidup yang waspada seperti ini digambarkan dalam satu kata yaitu gregoreo yaitu sikap awas agar kaki tidak tersandung, tidak salah jalan, bijak dalam bersikap, dan tidak seperti orang buta yang terseok seok ke mana-mana lalu akhirnya tersesat. 

Orang Kristen yang menghayati gregoreo ini akan hidup dengan kesadaran bahwa dirinya adalah sebuah pohon kehidupan. Yang diciptakan dan diberi hidup, untuk membagikan kehidupan kepada sesama. Menjadi Gereja yang memelihara kehidupan. Dalam penghayatan ini, kita merayakan 16 hari anti kekerasan terhadap anak dan perempuan sebagai upaya untuk terus merayakan dan mengumandangkan kehidupan yang penuh dengan keadilan, dan kedamaian bersama seisi ciptaan. Menciptakan dan memelihara budaya anti kekerasan dalam semua aspek kehidupan, dimulai dari kesadaran bahwa hidup ini tidak selamanya, kita bertanggungjawab dengan bergregoreo, waspada. 

Kekerasan bisa terjadi karena dosa. Karena keinginan dan tindakan memberontak dari Allah. Karena sebuah siklus yang tak dihentikan dan diteruskan, diabaikan dan dianggap tak bermasalah tapi menimbulkan damai semua dan kekacauan, melahirkan generasi-generasi baru dengan trauma dan luka mental yang mematikan hidup manusia. Mungkin pelaku kekerasan bisa hidup sampai tua bahkan tanpa sadar luka dan dampak kekerasan yang dia buat. Tapi korban kekerasan bisa menjadi seseorang yang mengakhiri hidup, menjadi psikopat, atau mengakhir kehidupannya sendiri. Dampak mengerikan ini mengkhianati makna hidup yang indah dari Tuhan. Dan tentu saja, berlawanan dengan berita pengharapan dari Adven pada saat ini. 

Maka, Yesus menguatkan sikap hidup yang penuh kewaspadaan ini dengan dua gambaran: orang di zaman Nuh, diingatkan tapi lengah dan pongah. Maka, ketika musibah datang melanda, mereka tersapu dan binasa. Padahal, Nuh dan ketokan palu bahteranya sudah menjadi pengingat dalam kehidupan mereka. Gambaran kedua yaitu dipanggilnya satu di antara dua orang yang sedang bekerja di ladang. Tak ada satu pun yang tahu, siapa yang lebih dahulu akan diambil, maka tak boleh katakan, saya masih muda, waktu saya masih panjang. Sebab, hidup bisa berakhir kapan saja, sehingga kita diminta bijaksana dalam bersikap, gregoreo, waspada. 

Mari kita masuki Adven pertama dengan kesiapan hati menyambut Mesias. Bahwa Dia yang kita sambut kelahiranNya adalah Mesias yang akan datang menjadi hakim atas manusia. Dia yang kita sambut kedatanganNya akan membersihkan dan menguduskan. Maka kita memiliki sikap takut dan hormat kepadaNya. Kita tak sembrono dalam hidup melainkan dengan kerendahan hati, waspada dan bijak menyikapi kehidupan. Dapat -membaca tanda-tanda zaman dengan baik. Jangan main terobos saja, yang penting nanti.

Jika kita bergregoreo maka kita akan belajar terus untuk bisa hidup dengan baik. Bukan hidup dengan asal-asalan. Hidup yang bermanfaat. Hidup yang siap.  Adakah nama kita ketika dipanggil kita siap? Adakah nama kita ketika dipanggil, kita ada? Adakah kita ketika Tuhan memanggil kita, sedia dengan sungguh menanti dan setia kepadaNya? Hidup yang berjaga-jaga akan memberi kita bukan hanya ketenangan dalam menjalani masa kini dan masa depan, melainkan harapan bahwa semua yang kita alami dalam dunia ini tak akan berakhir ketika kita tiada, melainkan akan ada perjumpaan yang indah bersama dengan Mesias yang kepadaNya kita menyerahkan seluruh hidup dan pengharapan kita. Maka, kita akan mudah menjadi tenang dan percaya. Hidup senantiasa penuh hormat kepada Dia. 

Teruslah berharap, dan dalam harapan itu, mari tetap kobarkan pengharapan, dan bagikanlah lilin pengharapan kita ke dalam dunia. Membagikan pengharapan berarti belajar terus mengasihi. Sayang pada semua orang di sekitar kita, peduli pada mereka, menghormati, dan mengasihi mereka. Bukan menindas, melukai, merendahkan. Membagikan pengharapan sebagai manusia yang waspada. Jadilah saksi Tuhan yang setia dan tak gentar, sebab Mesias sudah, sedang, dan akan datang serta diam di antara kita! 

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When you know, you know ♡

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““Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough to just say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless. “My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.” Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.””

—

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

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Worship that pleases God

From Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren (July 2, 2023)

1. God is pleased when our worship is accurate.

We cannot just create our own comfortable or politically correct image of God and worship it. That is idolatry. To “worship in truth” means to worship God as He is truly revealed in the Bible.

2. God is pleased when our worship is authentic.

Worship is your spirit responding to God’s Spirit. We can worship God imperfectly but we can’t worship Him insincerely.

3. God is pleased when our worship is thoughtful.

If worship is mindless, it is meaningless. You must engage your mind.

4. God is pleased when our worship is practical.

‘Offer your bodies as living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.‘ Give God what you’ve got. Where your body is, there is your spirit also. Sometimes worship is a sheer act of the will – a willing sacrifice. 

God-pleasing worship is deeply emotional and deeply doctrinal. We use both our hearts and our heads. The best style of worship is the one that most authentically represents your love for God, based on the background and personality God gave you. Real worship costs. Real worship is rooted in the Word.

“If God intentionally made us all different, why should everyone be expected to love God in the same way?“ There is no “one-size-fits-all“ approach to worship and friendship with God. One thing is certain: you don’t give glory to God by trying to be someone He never intended for you to be.

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“When you stop talking to people, stop talking about them too.”

— arabwife