dont-be-a-gonk

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Please state your name and occupation.

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Gangs of Night City - Moxes

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Thinking about Dont Fear The Reaper. Thinking about a V (my V specifically, but this can apply to others too) who, for the entire span of their mission to remove the biochip post Jackie's death who just. Never lets anyone get too close.

Sure, they help the others because they genuinely want to and they give a shit. Whether it be thru force of violence or more steath approaches, they help. They help Panam with her troubles and the other Aldecaldos to the point where they're offered to be a part of the family if they want to be. They help River solve the case with Harris and even attend family dinner later on and he calls them a friend. They help Judy get justice for Evelyn and help the Mox's free themselves and reconnect Judy with her lost home underwater. They get Kerry back together with the rest of Samurai for a last gig both for his and Johnny's sake, and later help Kerry fuck with the Us Cracks too.

And everyone gives a shit about V in return. They're greatful, they reach out time and again to check on V and see if they need help. Especially Panam and Judy, who might even know that V is dying, that V has Johnny Fuckin Silverhand inside their head nonstop, and that the biochip is slowly eating away at them. And yet, they never seem to stop. Never really slow down enough to let anyone care back in return, to let them see just how deep the illness runs, how badly they're hurting in whatever way. They help the others, but they keep them at a distance so they can't be cared for too much in return.

All except for Johnny, that is.

Johnny who, even if he wanted to, can't escape the pain that V's dealing with, nor that ever looming fear of the inevitable end. He's in this body, if it's V's problem, it's his too so long as they're stuck together.

Which is why he finds it curious that V never actually does reach out for help when it's offered. If he were in their shoes (and he is, but he's not in control most times) he'd be taking the offered hand. But V never does. The only person V ever actually calls out for in times of distress is Johnny, and he's the one person who can't actually help, the one causing all of it even.

It makes no sense to him.

But then, eventually when they hit the breaking point on that rooftop, maybe it does make sense. Maybe the reason V never reaches back out, never asks for help, is because they don't want to drag anyone else down with their death. If they don't let the others get too close, they can't get hurt, can't grieve the loss of V that they aren't even aware they'll miss.

The only person V could actually bring along to the end who would understand that feeling happens to be the one who's caused this in the first place.

So of course it's a suicide run. Of course this begins and ends with just the two of them. Nobody else needs to be involved or die for the sake of a dead man and the one who's been harboring him. It's Johnny + V forever, and only them this time.

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And here we are, going down, down, down the rabbit-hole into the heart of darkness.

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Shit... no fixin' this. What's wrecked is wrecked.

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Hardware AKA MARK 13 (1990)

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watched the last conversation johnny and v have in the tower ending when they don't have a good relationship and man, you truly couldn't have made this sound more like a breakup if you tried.

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Cyberpunk 2077 -- Phantom Liberty

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i literally don’t like perceiving the cyberpunk fan base outside of tumblr because what do you mean i just see either constant homophobia about vincent/johnny or aggressive misogyny about valerie ☹️

(not that this doesn’t exist in tumblr either but i see it way more in tiktok comment sections lol)

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Thinking about when songbird puts Johnny on ‘mute’ and V missing talking with him or his dumbass comments to fill the silence

Like a never knew I’d miss it until it left

Except he comes back and V is like “ugh this fucking guy (yay)”

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no! healthy relationship will kill the character! he needs an unhealthy codependent romance with a side of power imbalance to live

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something something bisexuals sitting in chairs

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johnny sketch between drawing something else & studying more anatomy.

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a poster i made in class about mantis blades from cyberpunk! 3D model in the background: Cyryl Kacprzyk on Sketchfab. Fonts used: Fantabular Sans MVB, Kallisto. It was made for the A3 resolution so thats why lots of the text is really small haha

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after work. 😪

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Hardware AKA MARK 13 (1990)

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would give absolutely everything to see a johnny immediately post-temperance ending, and i’m talking as soon as he’s out of mikoshi in v’s body

the beginnings of grief perhaps lingering at the back of his mind, but he’s not yet able to register it completely because he still has to get out of the tower. everything seems a blur, and the only thing that persists throughout the haze is the drive to keep the both of them safe, as he refuses to process that what’s left of v is simply their shell. maybe for a little, he thinks there’s still some semblance of us.

and then i think to when he eventually does get out, he has a chance to breathe through the lungs that will never quite feel like his own, and it all catches up to him. there’s a pit somewhere in his - their - chest that he hasn’t been able to make out until this point, one that’s shaped like v. the weight, or lack thereof, of v’s absence finally dawns on him. i wanna see the crushing moment where us turns to me.