dontfightmecauseillcry
dontfightmecauseillcry
Amberbird
591 posts
Bisexual mess Part of multiple fandoms Also Amberbird on AO3
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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The Realm's Greatest Actor (part 1)
(Prompt) (part 1- you're here!) (part 2- to be written...)
The sigal glowed, and started rotating on the floor. It was working.
Constantine stepped back a little, the chant finished. He glanced at the big bat, and then the room grew cold. Frost covered all nearby surfaces, and he could see their breath. The ghost king was coming.
Cool mist drifted to the floor to reveal a... kid. Alright. Unexpected, but okay.
"Your Majesty," He said, bowing, soon to be followed by his 'colleagues'.
The kid glanced around, legs bent at the knee while he floated, arms limp at his sides.
"At ease," He dismissed, with a wave of his hand and a faux-sigh. "What is it you, ah, require?" He said, in a posh, 'holier than thou' voice.
Batman stood up to speak; "We need assistance with a large monster we believe to be one of your subjects terrorizing our cities."
The kid pursed his lips, doing a small spin, and then narrowed his eyes at Batman. "Hmmm." He did another small, smooth backflip in the air that led him closer to the hero in black.
"What do they look like?" He asked, crossing his legs and arms, floating eye level.
"They are a robot, flying around on a hovercraft and destroying buildings. They are attracting the attention of hostile aliens."
The kid nodded, eyes still narrowed, lips still pursed. "Skulker. I know him. Not very nice."
"Can you help?" Conastatine cut in.
The little king then unfolded himself, a devilish smile on his face.
"I can!" He floated over to the Brit. "For a price, of course." He said, lying on his side. "I fear I may not be able to leave this circle until we make a deal, and thus cannot get to him to stop him..." He frowned, turning away to wipe a single tear off his face that flew into the air before turning to mist.
Constantine sighed. "Naturally. What do you want?"
The Ghost turned back to him, a hand on his chin. "What do you have?"
Constatine glanced at Batman before speaking. "My soul," He said. "Or anything money can buy."
The ghost king looked him up and down. "I don't want your soul... I'm not a fan of sharing." His eyes traced over the various heroes. "Ooh, what a lineup!"
He floated to the side, looking over Constantine's shoulder. "Robots, kryptonians, Amazonians, Atlantians...and people. A nice mixed bag. Very interesting characters. You're all dressed up like heroes! Hah! You don't even have any watches!" The ghost giggled at his own... joke?
Constatine glanced over the heros the gauge their reactions. Some were disturbed, some were serious.
"Do you have hero names too!? Oh, tell me, tell me!" He shook his fists excitedly, kicking his legs and leaning forward.
"I'm-"
"Wait-!" Constaine cut Superman off. "We don't know what he could do with a name. Even a hero name."
The king's eyes locked onto him, not moving an inch, and his smile vanished. Then it returned, but it was different, and he sprang into motion once again. "So, you're the party pooper. Why'd you invite me if you don't want to have fun?" He tilted his head to an almost un-natural angle.
Constantine chuckled, more out of awkwardness than humor. He was about to say something more, but Batman beat him to it. "We don't have time for parties. We need Skulker gone, as soon as possible."
"Alright, alright. I see who's in charge. What is your little group called, anyway? I need it for my dream journal." The ghost smiled, toothy and a little less mischievous.
Batman glanced at Constantine, and with a nod, he replied. "We are the Justice League."
The king snickered. "Alright! Who am I making a deal with?"
Batman stepped forward. "I will buy you one thing from Earth, in exchange for your help. Any one thing that is not a sentient being."
The king looked to the side thoughtfully. "I suppose that's enough. Any one thing that is not a sentient being in exchange for dealing with skulker. Let's shake on it." A contract appeared out of the air, simple, but long. The bat read over it quickly, which was probably a few times for the super-human capabilities of that guy.
"Alright. Let's shake on it." The ghost king outstretched his hand, a wicked grin on his face. Batman took his hand, to which the Ghost King eagerly shook it. Constantine was worried his arm might fall off. The bat almost stumbled from the force, but looked unaffected after. When they let go, a puff of frosty air fell to the ground.
"And I'm off!" The kid saluted and then disappeared. The whole league turned to look at Constantine, then, when he gave them nothing, at Batman.
He responded by pulling up footage from a drone on the screen. For twelve minutes, the king laughed and flew around the creature that had been stealing their bodies and burning their cities. Then, he simply hit him a few times, with some blasts from his hands, and sucked him into... a thermos?
He then appeared back into the watch tower, devil grin still plastered on his face. "It's been a while since I talked to Skulker. He hasn't changed much- no one really does after they become my denisins."
The leaguers glanced around, exchanging looks. They were mostly baffled, but the bats, as always, was stoic.
"So, what is it you want?" He asked, looking grim.
The ghost's smile changed, but just slightly. A little more mischievous. "I'll tell you later. For now, this dimension is pretty sweet... I think I'll stay!" He said, looking around and nodding to himself.
The room grew tense. "What do you mean 'stay'?" Constantine asked.
The king giggled, disappearing and reappearing behind the brit. "It seems like it would be fun, with all the... ya'know." He said, gesturing to the league. "Interesting characters. As I said before."
Constantine tensed, and turned to the king now behind him. "...Well, what are you gonna do?" That earned another giggle.
"I'll tell you for a deal," He offered, hand outstretched. Constantine raised an eyebrow at that, unimpressed.
The hand lowered, suddenly snapping to the king's back. "Guess not then." He drifted over towards the crowd, arms behind his back as he looked them over with more attention than before.
His look of slight boredom turned into a mischievous grin that seemed to be his default smile. "Best to go explore, yeah? Have fun with the clean up! And then, he disappeared. But this time, he didn't reappear behind anyone. He was just gone. But one question lingered.
When would the Ghost King be back?
(Prompt) (part 1- you're here!) (part 2- to be written...)
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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Read @ghostboidanny ‘s post about ghost king danno and miscommunication this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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Tim: Bruce this is Ellie short for Elizabeth. She is our...daughter.
Danny:(whispering) Yeah, let's go with that. He's going to realize that it's impossible.
Tim:(whispering) Well you had me use a cloning machine with a vat of ecto/Lazarus water to create a vessel for her soul. I used both our blood to make her body. It was the only way to get XX chromosomes when I was sequencing her DNA. So yes, she is our daughter.
Bruce: *holding Ellie and not listening* Fantastic, give me at least 2 more of these.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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Thinking about how Dani's episode is called Kindred Spirits, which implies that her unique narrative role is to mirror Danny and act as a foil to him, and then the episode is like "Here's some ✨superficial similarities✨. She is now going to leave the plot entirely and be 💖homeless💖"
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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oh god sudden thought
so as per various DC social media concepts Clark has a Superman twitter where he posts left-leaning but fairly safe & tame stuff e.g. happy pride from Superman. Clark Kent also has his own twitter account where he posts his actual opinion.
what happens if uh. what happens if he forgets which account he's logged into.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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You know how lions and tigers will pretend to be startled by their cubs pouncing on them as a way to encourage their developing hunting skills?
I want that but with Danny and Dani.
Like, Ghosts feed a little bit off fear, or are at least given a boost from it. Learning to startle and spook people was something Danny had to learn all on his own, so when Dani started hanging around more Danny started purposefully acting surprised and startled when she tried to scare him, as a way to train and help her with this small bit of their biology. And Dani doesnt realise it until years and years later that it was just Danny humoring her.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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The Last Wish of a Parent
DP x DC Prompt
Alfred died while Bruce was brutally injuring thugs and Rogues after Jason's death. The heartache over losing a grandson and his age had caused the butler to die before his time. This turned him into a ghost that was basically on a time limit, where he'll be moved to the Infinite Realms and stuck there until he decides to be reborn or is ended.
Alfred has been searching for a person to replace him in secret, as he doesn't want his family to be left fending for themselves with someone who isn't as good as him. Alfred has not found any luck in finding a replacement, as he is just too good of a butler to replace. That is until he finds a young adult that looks like him when he was that age all those years ago.
Danny is on the run, escaping his home dimension to stop him from becoming Dan. The GIW had taken everyone he cared about and killed them, just trying to get him. He had randomly entered a natural portal after making sure no one from his dimension could follow him by sealing it off, but not before getting Dani into the Infinite Realms and keeping Vlad out. It's in this new dimension where he encounters a familiar yet not so familiar face. Sure, this old man has some features similar to his, but he's sure that he hasn't jumped through time. And then he is offered a job to be a butler, which confirms that he's not in the future, and he was feeling antsy to do more things lately since he isn't old enough to take the throne of the Ghost King.
Danny has been slowly learning how to be the next Wayne family butler, even being trusted with the secret identities of them as well. Taking care of the Wayne's also helps his obsession, as he makes sure the Bats are in top condition to protect Gotham and the Earth.
He's slowly been replacing Alfred's cooking, cleaning, and baking with his, which isn't too different from Alfred's usual cooking, cleaning, and baking. The last thing Danny needs to do in order to succeed Alfred is to make his famous cookies and have the Batfam eat them without them saying that it tastes different. Alfred himself has taste tested his cookies and said that they taste like how he makes them. It doesn't stop him from worrying that they're not the same.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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King and Mayor
DP x DC Prompt
Danny has been Mayor of Gotham for a while already. Having become Mayor when Damian had become Robin at 12. He may have another role of power, but that won't stop him from helping others.
He had become the mayor when he was too tired and thinking about other things, like his Ghost King duties, and accidentally signed up for the candidacy. And since almost all of Gotham didn't want their current mayor in power, it was almost a unanimous vote for Danny to be the next mayor.
The Batfam has no clue that Danny is the new mayor, as they all had a lot to deal with during the voting. They all believe that the same mayor is still in power and is being bought off by the Rogues to ignore most of them. Danny is refusing the money the Rogues offer him, as he's already got too much money because of his Ghost King inheritance.
Danny is working on making the city a better place, as Lady Gotham was kind enough to welcome him into her haunt after he lost his to the GIW and his parents. He's also gotten a good chance of getting Batman to investigate the GIW. First, he made sure that none of his workers could be bought out by the Rogues, ensuring that they were well paid and had protection for both them and their families (Danny asks Ghosts with obsessions related to protecting to guard his workers and their families).
Once he had ensured that his workers were protected and paid well enough, he moved on to making sure the GCPD wouldn't be bought out and had good healthcare specialists he found in the Infinite Realms heal the GCPD officers.
The Batfam will learn of the new mayor when Jim tells Batman about the new mayor helping the GCPD be less corrupt.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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hey guys
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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DP Side Hoe Week '24 : Dani - Self defense
wahooo Dani time~ draw this referencing kickboxing pose and karate pose(?). Also trying out screen tones. They sure are.. tones...
References under cut :
Specifically these two poses
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And this one (the google source image is pinterest which is.. not a source at all orz)
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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[ Bruce is out at a comedy event with all his kids. ] Comedian: Are these your kids too? Brice: Half of them. Their parents wouldn’t let me legally adopt the other half. Comedian: So you stole them? Jason: He kinda did. Comedian: You know this doesn’t sound good.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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"What Haunts in Vegas.........stays in Vegas!"
The hypothetical college trio series includes many hard hitting episodes, including this one where Vlad's in drag and has to seduce a short, sleazy human trafficking ringleader while Jack and Maddie play cards in the casino and distract the bodyguards.
This has been sitting in my drafts forever and I probably won't finish it any time soon (i wanted to adapt most of it into a longer comic) so here's a summary of the ensuing shenanigans and gags:
I love the idea that a series about Jack, Maddie and Vlad would feature a lot of stories about organized crime with a ghostly twist, so this is a reflection of that.
The trio plus Agents K and O set up a trap within a ritzy Vegas casino. Vlad, disguised as the silver vixen bait, is thoroughly incensed by his humiliating role but also ironically looks like enough of an effortless knock-out in a slinky black dress that the ruse seems to work on Petri. (Earlier, Vlad exclaimed to Maddie that only "an idiot" would fall for this disguise, followed immediately by Jack not recognizing him and wondering "who the broad in black is", only proving Vlad's point.)
The height difference between Petri and Vlad is so ridiculous that Vlad (who is wearing high heels) doesn't even initially notice when Petri approaches him to hit on him.
Another silly angle that makes Vlad a comically tailor-made fit for the role of Petri's seducer is the fact that Petri is a wine and cheese snob and prefers his women to be "cultured" in that regard. Vlad can't be out-snobbed on either front, so it nearly turns into a pissing contest of who's enjoyed the more exotic and expensive pairing.
Petri asks the 6'3 silver haired goddess sitting next to him if her hair is naturally silver, and Vlad stays in character to say yes, but it was caused by a great deal of stress brought on by her "oafish buffoon of an ex-husband" which prompts Agents K and O to tell Vlad to stick to the script through Vlad's bugged earring, and Jack in the other earring to express surprise that he didn't know his best buddy was married and why didn't he tell him?!
(A vein pulses in Vlad's temple, but he maintains a nostalgic expression for Petri's sake while he discreetly reaches up and mercilessly crushes his earring between his fingertips with an electronic crunch. Agent O turns to Agent K in the hotel suite they're monitoring the mission from. "Heels destroyed his comm." "...This is the last time we work with civilians.")
At some point, an increasingly smarmy Petri places his hand on Vlad's leg, and an uncomfortable Vlad's instinctive reflex is, unfortunately, to choke him.
While all of this is taking place, Jack and Maddie are playing the tables alongside Petri's lieutenants. The idea is that when Vlad lures Petri to the suite where Agents O & K will apprehend him, they will safely subdue the henchmen.
Vlad does manage to get Petri into the hotel room, but things immediately go off the rails at that point. Agents K and O have been incapacitated off screen, and Petri reveals he suspected that this was all a set up from the beginning, so he took the liberty of removing the dangerous element from the equation. Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have their hands full as subduing the henchmen goes poorly and it turns out a large portion of the casino customers seem to be currently overshadowed. A massive fight breaks out.
The GIW files assumed that Petri Fyer was a human, but Vlad had clocked almost immediately upon meeting him that he's actually a ghost overshadowing a human being. Petri Fyer is actually Petrifyer, a large, monstrous ghost that resembles a toad. He departs from his human host to confront Vlad. Petrifyer has a paralytic venom that stuns humans and renders them immobile, so he uses it on Vlad and gleefully tries to decide what he should do with all of them.
It becomes apparent that Petrifyer understood that the whole situation was a set up, but he totally missed the fact that Vlad wasn't who he said he was, and since the paralytic venom is only effective on human beings, Vlad manages to break out of the paralysis by forcing a transformation.
Petrifyer vs. Plasmius ensues, there's some back and forth where Petri is 1) shocked he got catfished, 2) shocked he got catfished by the half-ghost billionaire who tried and failed to take over the world during the global meteor incident, and 3) still very into Vlad despite literally everything that is going on. Vlad proceeds to cheerfully beat the stuffing out of him.
Jack and Maddie manage to husband-wife power couple their way through ALL of the ghost-guests, wrecking the casino in the process. By the time they make it to the hotel room for back up, Vlad is standing in the middle of a destroyed suite, red heels in hand, Agents K and O groaning on the floor, and the dastardly ghost/human duo restrained. Vlad shoots his friends a withering glare and tries to wipe his lipstick off with the back of his hand. It just smears.
Petri turns out to be a case of true possession (over shadowing being short-term and possession being long-term). The meek, unconfident, ordinary gas station employee, Patrick Fitz, is consensually allowing the sleazy toad-like ghost Petrifyer to use his body to navigate the human world and make them both rich.
Once in custody, Patrick and Petrifyer attempt to elicit sympathy from Vlad due to their similar positions and affinity for "ghost-human relations." Vlad just sneers at them and says he is so far out of their league in every possible way they might as well be on different planets.
The mission ends, Jack immediately forgets he signed a non-disclosure agreement, and Maddie practices her card game skills. (Afterward, Vlad offers Maddie a much more understanding apology for the way he used to treat her, and thanks her for not killing him at any point during those days.)
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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MisDialed Hearts
inspired by this Prompt
Link
Tim Drake was cornered—again.
It had been one of those evenings, the kind that made Tim question every life decision that led him to being a CEO and a vigilante. Another gala. Another crowd of sharks in designer suits. Another round of well-meaning Gotham socialites asking about his dating life with a glint in their eyes like they were just waiting to pounce.
He needed out.
That’s when it happened. His phone buzzed with an unknown number. An escape hatch from the universe. A gift from the chaotic gods of Gotham.
Without hesitating, Tim pressed Answer and raised the phone to his ear like it was a lifeline.
“Hey, babe,” he said smoothly, walking briskly toward the exit, waving apologetically to the board members mid-sentence. “You’re calling now? I told you I was gonna be late—don't be mad. I'm on my way.”
There was a long pause on the other end. Then a confused voice said, “Uh. I think I called the wrong number...?”
Tim’s eyes lit up. Jackpot.
“I’ll be there in just a moment to pick you up,” he replied warmly, as if this was a normal thing, as if he hadn’t just started weaving a lie that would need more patching than a Gotham street after Scarecrow blew up half the block.
“Wha–?! Wait—what do you mea—”
Click. Tim hung up with a satisfied smile. He could already feel Babs and Dick squinting suspiciously at him from across the ballroom, probably comparing this situation to “that time Tim faked an uncle for six months.”
He needed someone real to make this lie work. Even if it started with a wrong number.
And he had the number.
— Meanwhile…
Danny Fenton blinked at his phone. He was sitting cross-legged on his twin bed in his Gotham University dorm, textbooks open in front of him, a microwaved quesadilla cooling by his side.
He'd been trying to call his physics lab partner, but either she changed her number or—
Or some random dude just answered way too comfortably and now might be on his way to pick him up. For a date.
“…Gotham,” Danny muttered, flopping backwards and groaning into his pillow. “I’m too tired for this.”
He considered texting the guy back, but he’d barely locked his phone when a black car pulled up in front of his dorm building.
A tall figure stepped out. a sinfully attractive man in a sleek black suit, tossing his keys to a valet who wasn’t even there five seconds ago, like Gotham just conjured them from the shadows.
Tim Drake.
“Are you Danny?” he asked, walking toward him with a smile that said, just go with it, please, but in the most polite, billionaire way possible.
Danny blinked. “Yeah…?”
Tim opened the car door. “Perfect. Sorry I’m late.”
“…okay.” Danny got in. He was too tired to fight this. Also? Tim smelled like expensive cologne and decisions that made bad ideas sound good.
“Just so you know,” Danny said as they pulled into traffic, “I have no idea what’s going on.”
Tim gave him a sideways glance, smirk playing on his lips. “You called me. I just answered.”
“You said you were picking me up for a date.”
“And I’m a man of my word.”
Danny stared at him, dumbfounded. “Are you always like this?”
“Only when I’m being watched.”
Danny glanced behind them. Yep. That was definitely Nightwing in a very poorly concealed civilian outfit tailing their car. Robin was flying overhead. Batgirl’s silhouette was just visible on a rooftop.
“Oh my god,” Danny muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You dragged me into a Bat thing, didn’t you?”
Tim gave him an innocent look. “Do you want dinner? I know a place.”
Danny stared at him for another beat, then leaned back in the seat with a sigh.
“You know what? Fine. You’re hot, I’m tired, and I skipped lunch. Let’s go.”
Tim smirked again. “Excellent. Just don’t be surprised if someone tries to kill us. It’s Gotham, after all.”
Danny groaned. “That’s fine. I’m half-dead anyway.”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “Wait—what?”
Danny smirked this time. “You faked a boyfriend. I fake being alive sometimes. Let’s call it even.”
Tim laughed. “Oh, I like you.”
“I’m still charging you for gas money,” Danny deadpanned.
"But I'm the one driving"
"So."
They were a disaster already. Gotham might never recover.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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They fail at not kissing btw
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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Batman has a system in place to keep an eye on potential future "mad scientists" to make sure he stops them Before they build that death lazer or Before they decide to mutate humankind into lizards.
He keeps a list of all the potential candidates. Depending on how likely they are to go ballistic, he'll visit them more or less often.
The Fentons have been on his list for a decade at this point, but they've always been very low priority. Especially after Constantine assured him that it's impossible to capture or access ghosts with technology. So he hasn't visited them for a few years.
However, the time is here for Batman to check on them once more. Only ... when he tries to find Amity Park on a map, it's gone without a trace. There's a technological black out where the city used to be.
Suddenly worried that the Fentons have switched from ghost hunting to a more sinister science while he wasn't looking, Batman decides to go in person to Amity.
Batman arrives at a city under lockdown by a sinister government agency he's never heard of before. There are ghosts running rampant in the city and bringing destruction everywhere. There's a young hero trying to keep both sides from killing each other. And the Fentons ... well, they've become full-blown mad scientist with a portal to the Ghost Zone in their basement.
Maybe he should have kept a closer eye on the Fentons after all...
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 6 hours ago
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In a protest against censorship, photographer A.L. Schafer staged this iconic photograph in 1934, violating as many rules as possible in one shot.
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dontfightmecauseillcry · 7 hours ago
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Jason: This better be important. I was having dinner with my family, and I don't like being pulled away from it for something unimportant. RedHood gang member 1: Sorry, Boss, we just didn't know what to do. RedHood gang member 2: Yeah, it's not in any of the employee manuals you passed around last month. We're flying blind. Jason: Just tell me what happened. RedHood gang member 1: Okay, so as you know, we were getting a shipment in tonight from our friends the Blue Flame. Everything was going fine; we got the goods, they got their money, and then, BAM, the crate burst open. There was a kid inside the merchandise shipment. Jason: What!? Those idiots thought we were in the market for people!? How dare they! RedHood gang member 2: That's what we thought too! Execpt Blue Flame was just as confused as we were. They started waving thier guns at the kid, demanding to know who he was, and then the kid starts crying- Jason: How old was the kid? RedHood gang member 2: Can't be older than fourteen, and that being generous since he's so short. Jason nodding: Old enough to not be easily manipulated but young enough to be frightened. Okay, I'd like you to go on. RedHood gang member 1: Right, so the kid is crying and we're grabbing our guns too, just in case we have to stop them from shooting the poor thing, when a loud sonic scream rips out of the kid, and destroys the docking deck, taking everything with it. The Blue Flames, the pier, and the bit of nearby ocean weren't just blown away; they turned to ash. Jason: A meta then. A dangerous one at that. RedHood gang member 1: Yeah, and one we think wasn't aware he was a meta until that moment. Jason: What makes you say that? RedHood gang member 2: Look at him. Danny inside the Red hood gang interogation room with a one way mirror:
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Jason: He seems spooked RedHood gang member 1 nodding: He hasn't moved or spoken for three hours. All he asked was that we not tell Jazz. We are still trying to find out who Jazz is. RedHood gang member 2: Whoever Jazz is, they must be scarier than my mother-in-law's if they make someone with a power like that cower. RedHood gang member 1: My mother is a saint!
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