dontthinkitsknowledge

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

my 6yo piano student: did you KNOW that girls can marry girls and BOYS can marry boys? But they can’t do that romantic dance together when one has a rose in their mouth, because only boys can play the guitar :(

me: 👁️👄👁️well actually, girls can definitely play guitar??

6yo: WAIT REALLY?? :O

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

Forever impressed by my colleagues’ abilities to misspell things

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

Has anyone ever probably confronted their feelings about enjoying having no boobs/being flat-chested and doubting whether that’s a non-binary emotion or secretly just an anorexia/wanting to be skinni thing

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

Can’t wait for, like, 2025 when we look back on the 2018/2019 era and say “hey, remember when we were all really freaking depressed? That was a crazy time! Glad we aren’t like that anymore”

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

Gender is a performance and it’s time to play the music it’s time to light the lights it’s time to meet the muppets on the muppets show tonight

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

spin this wheel of all the pokemon. you now have to fight this pokemon. just you and it, bare-knuckle

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

June 5th can't come fast enough

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

I like it when I follow someone new and they seem to be into the strangest discourse out there. And it’s not even completely their fault. You mean to tell me there’s other bitches out there who care about this???? And then I understand why they’re fed up

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

'all age gaps problematic' people are so wild. "what can a 19 year old and a 28 year even have in common??? what do they talk about??" BITCH THEIR HOBBIES???????

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

woke up, mxster freethem... woke up and... smell the pronouns

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

So back when I was a senior in undergrad, my partner went through, like, the craziest nervous breakdown I'd ever witnessed in my life. And like, maybe it makes me a back girlfriend or whatever but I was kind of like, "I'm gonna mind my own business on this one."

So my partner gets super close to two other students in his program. He was a film student so his senior year was being capped off by him making a movie. He decides he's going to make a movie about him turning into a salmon. He gets crazy into it. He starts eating salmon for every meal. He buys a bunch of salmon-related stuff. We found a T-shirt at Goodwill with a salmon on it and he thought it was divine intervention that he was doing the right thing. He walks into the freezing-cold Puget sound fully clothed several times to "get into it." He watches videos of salmon spawning and is like, "Nothing is more poignant than this." He gets a tattoo of three salmon on his arm.

The entire time the two students he got really close to are fully enabling him. It's a folie á trois sort of situation. They're out until six in the morning doing creepy art school shit and encouraging his (possibly no longer fictional) desire to become a salmon. My partner has an answer for everything. "Salmon get eaten by bears," I say. "That's a cool as fuck way to die," he says blithely. "And Salmon are free of the yoke of capitalism."

And if I dared to say, Hey, this is....getting a little odd..., he would throw a full-scale tantrum. I'm not supporting his dream (I wasn't sure at this point if it was his dream to be a filmmaker or his dream to become a salmon). I'm basically like, okay. Be a salmon! Fuck!

We had been dating for five years at this point and this behavior was such a left turn that I just decided to ignore it. And then after all that he basically went back to normal after graduation. Sometimes he'll be like, "That was weird, huh?" and has nothing more to say on the matter.

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

[dontthinkitsknowledge]

i'm so pro-divorce that i forget myself sometimes. a guy on the elevator was telling me unprompted about how he got divorced on friday and apparently "nice congrats" was not the correct reaction