doomeddiabetic

[doomeddiabetic]

trying to explain to tumblr that the Middle Class in not their enemy

[doomeddiabetic]

a lot of things get on my nerves. im constantly annoyed. and i also have a deep love of humanity and the world but everything is really annoying

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

i bet count von count has killer fuckin music taste

[doomeddiabetic]

some guy online: looool who do uou think would win in a fight preadator or kevin from home alone 2

me: (has only ever seen platos cave) which party is most similar to the silhouette of a jug?

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

Father just asked me, in response to me picking up our dog; “do you think, if aliens made humans their pets, do you think we’d enjoy being picked up by them” and I had to pretend like I haven’t been on the internet as much as I have

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

i’m starting a collection

[doomeddiabetic]

[doomeddiabetic]

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

[doomeddiabetic]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[doomeddiabetic]

i was at a coffee shop in some random town once waiting on my drink. i was the only person there until someone walked in and walked up to the register and they said something crazy like "don't fuck up my order this time, bitch" and i was sooooooo exhausted i stepped forward and i was just like [firm angry mom voice] "no. no. hey. you need to leave right now." and the barista and the customer both turned to me in abject shock and the barista started laughing and the customer looked horrified like they hadn't seen me when they came in and they said "i'm so sorry oh my god I work here. we're friends. i was just messing with them."

and i was like OH! that's a relief.

the barista was still laughing and they said "you were really about to fight for me. i love that." I said was in food service long enough that i'm always ready to fight a customer at any moment. i would have gone for blood. i would've used my teeth.

[doomeddiabetic]