doomingthenarrative - Tumblr blog

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i yearn for the bog

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two sheep. standing still

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why pray on my downfall when you could pray on my brother's

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[AFTER REVEALING VERY TELLING PERSONAL INFO] But don’t read into that. let’s move along

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The Moonmaiden's Embrace

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shadowzel truthers RISE UP

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not enough people are into shadowheart/nocturne and it makes me feel insane. like what do you MEAN shadowheart used to beat up people who deadnamed nocturne. what do you MEAN shadowheart would frequently have her memories wiped, but nocturne could get her to remember nocturne in a matter of HOURS if not minutes, and would write on her diary about how happy it'd make her to see the expression on shadowheart's face when she remembered? what do you MEAN that if you give shadowheart the noblestalk, a mushroom so rare and potent there is only ONE of them in the entire game, she doesn't remember her parents or the day with the wolves or the mother superior's name but just nocturne? what do you MEAN nocturne was the one who did shadowheart's hair, and she kept at it until her arms were sore, and even without remembering that at all shadowheart still kept the same canonically hard to redo hairstyle? did shadowheart even like night orchids before their hideout, or did they become her favorite flowers because they were there? were they even actually her favorite flowers, or did she just mix up her attachment to nocturne with attachment to the flowers after forgetting her? hello? hello? can anybody hear me????

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Durge 5 seconds after learning he's a bhaalspawn

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it always struck me as kind of hilarious that you have to pass a 30DC check to convince shadowheart not to kill dame aylin but if you're just like "sure do whatever lol" she chooses not to kill her anyway. tsundere ass fuck. killing is bad unless it's out of spite. i have morals unless you try to tell me what to do

but i just got to that scene in my new replay and it made me realize that that's not what's at stake at all

because the persuasion check isn't "don't do this". the persuasion check is, your life is whatever you make of it. you don't have to do something just because your goddess tells you to.

convincing shadowheart not to kill dame aylin is easy. she knows it's wrong, and she doesn't want to, not really. if given the choice, she is literally unable to go through with it even if she clearly wants to, or wants to want to so badly she can't tell the difference

the problem is convincing her she has an option in the first place

the problem is convincing her that her life is her own

shadowheart has never belonged to herself since she was captured. not in body, not in soul, not in mind, not even her memories. she quite literally doesn't know who she is in more ways than one. she doesn't know her past or her family, she doesn't know who her loved ones are (including the sharran loved ones, like nocturne), all she really knows about herself is a fear of wolves that's been implanted into her by lies and an attachment to a flower she can't remember the details of. and a mission. always a mission. the will of someone else she has to carry on, that is not for her to understand or question or think about. she can't even want to serve shar, because she isn't allowed to pursue her intention to become a dark justiciar. she is supposed to be well and truly nothing, empty as the sharran doctrine

(oh, and pain that she doesn't know the reason of. no matter what, she must bear the pain)

how can she see herself as more than her goddess, when she quite literally doesn't know anything about who she is other than her devotion to shar? how can she choose her own destiny, when she couldn't even choose how to devote and give herself over to her?

she can't, which is why, unless you have infinite rizz points and/or roll a nat20, shadowheart attacks you. not dame aylin. you. and she never argues about whether or not it's the right thing, because she knows. what she's rebelling against isn't the idea of letting dame aylin go. what she's rebelling against is the idea that she could leave her cage and belong to no one but herself. because the idea is scary and she quite literally doesn't know where to begin. which is why her obsession becomes to find her parents, even though she doesn't remember them at all. because maybe they can tell her who she's supposed to be, and she can have the comfort of having her path laid out before her again

(which is also why she has to kill them. not because of some hand hurty curse bullshit. but because she just wants them and selûne to become the new shar, and she has to let that go if she truly means to claim herself again)

and now im sad. because it's easier for shadowheart to do turn against shar and everything she's ever had on the grounds of saving someone else than on the grounds that she deserves better than to be a puppet. even if you do nothing, saving dame aylin, to her, is easy. saving herself is a wholly different matter, one she's not sure she has any right to, or wants to, even if it's what she really needs. accepting a selûnite's humanity is easier than accepting her own. losing everything is easier than gaining her own autonomy. and she will fight tooth and nail to be allowed to stay in her own, metaphorical soul cage

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wyll in elegant robes...

(lines-only version undercut)

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I really like drawing mid-battle kissies

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i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

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sorry this is dumb

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another before work scribble