doopydoopy

[doopydoopy]

stole my jokes

[doopydoopy]

When the Insane Clown Posse met wrestler Terry Funk(taken from his book).

Jerry Lawler approached me about doing the show earlier in 2004, when we both worked a show for the

Insane Clown Posse. The Insane Clown Posse is a pair of rappers, Violent Jay and Shaggy 2 Dope,

who paint their faces up like clowns.

They're also completely insane and a couple of wrestling fans. They put out a videotape where they

were commenting on old matches. One of the matches had me versus Abdullah the Butcher, and they

kept knocking us and laughing at us.

"Look at those two big goofs, acting like they're wrestling. Ha ha ha!"

After I heard about that, every time someone told me they were going to see the Insane Clown

Posse, I said, "Tell them if I see them, I'm going to go ahead and kick their asses! Goofy bastards,

knocking me on a tape and using it without consent!"

Of course, I wouldn't have known the Insane Clown Posse from Adam and Eve, if I'd seen them on

the street. I sure wasn't listening to their damn music!

Finally, I got a call at the ranch from Sabu: "Terry, I've got the Insane Clown Posse here. They

want to come and see you, but they don't know if you're mad at them or not."

"Well," I said, "bring the sons of bitches out here."

They had just finished a show in Corpus Christi, and their next one was in Houston, so they took

their bus all the way from Corpus Christi to Amarillo, and then back down to Houston after they met

me! I told you they were nuts!

And so the Insane Clown Posse came into the house, and Vicki had some chili cooked up. They sat

down and ate a bowl of chili apiece and talked to me. They said they wete sorry if I was upset over

what they said on that tape, and we buried the hatchet.

Then, Violent Jay said, "Terry, we want to leave you some money for using that tape of you."

I said, "No, no, don't do that!"

"Yes, Terry, we're going to leave it under this jar, on this counter here!"

I kept telling them not to, but I walked into the next room before them. They followed me in, and

told me they had to go. We said our goodbyes, and the Insane Clown Posse drove off in their bus.

And I walked back into the other room, to get the money I knew they'd left. I have to tell you, I was

excited. I was thinking, "Oh boy, I bet they left me twenty bucks, or maybe even forty," which would

have just tickled me pink. I thought I'd have enough to pay for the chili, at least, and so I was really

happy at the notion of having twenty bucks.

I went in there, lifted up the jar ... and there was four thousand dollars there!

And so let me tell you people something right now—I love the Insane Clown Posse! The next

retirement match I have, they're going to be in the semifinal! They're the greatest band in the world,

and I have all their records. Haven't got around to listening to them yet, but I have them here

somewhere.

Later, I got a call that they wanted me to work at a show they were putting on, and I went. And I

was amazed. Vince McMahon could learn a thing or two from the Insane Clown Posse, and I'm not

lying. Those boys run a better show, and a smarter one, than even WWE does.

It was a four-day event, held outdoors, about 40 miles from the middle of nowhere. They drew a

total of about 11,000 people, and they were charging 180 bucks a pop, just to get in. And it's two

guys! That's all it is! The Insane Clown Posse is a two-man outfit! I think of a posse as 20 idiots

running around with rifles. But this was just two guys. It reminded me, in a way, of the show my

father did, where his match with "Iron" Mike DiBiase was the only one on the card. They paid the

people who worked for them a set amount, and then they split the lion's share of the proceeds, because

they're the stars! Those two goofy bastards are two of the smartest people I've ever met!

And it was the greatest place in the world to sell T-shirts. I had my Terry Funk T-shirts and was

selling them when I wasn't wrestling. Well, those people were so smoked up on that marijuana, they

didn't need much convincing.

Someone would walk by and see me and say, "Hey, Terry, how are you doin'?"

I'd say, "Come on over here and buy a shirt."

"Nah, Terry, I don't wanna buy a shirt." "Oh, come on and buy a shirt!" "No, I don't know, man." "Oh,

come on and buy a damn shirt!" "Well, OK."

I didn't even wear my own shirt to the ring. I left my vest, my chaps and all that crap. I wore my

Juggalo T-shirt, with the Insane Clown Posse on the front. I like to think of myself as the honorary

third member of the Insane Clown Posse now!

They had the wrestling matches on two different days, and then they had stuff like Vanilla Ice on

one stage, and someone else over here. But hell, Vanilla Ice isn't exactly hot these days, so he didn't

cost them a lot of money. And the Insane Clown Posse would get up there with their quarter-gallon

bottles of grape pop, and they'd shake that stuff up and undo the lids, and those bottles would fly like

a rocket in the air, just squirting that sticky, purple shit all over everyone! And those people, 11,000

idiots wearing clown makeup, loved it.

I'm serious! The whole audience was clowns. And they were happy, peaceful, smoked-up clowns.

But they were united in purpose. One time, one band on stage tried to get the fans on one side to yell,

"Fuck you" to the other side, but these people were all Juggalos. They were all Insane Clown Posse

people, and they saw these guys on stage trying to split them up. Well, they weren't going to have any

of that crap! They started booing and throwing stuff at the guys onstage. The police had to come and

get those guys off the stage! Those people did not want anyone trying to break up their clown nation.

Dusty and Lawler were at the show with me, and we couldn't believe it. This crowd was the

damnedest commotion we'd ever seen, but they were all clowns, and they all got along!

There was another guy there, a crazy wrestler named Madman Pondo. He sees himself as a

combination of Cactus Jack and Jack the Ripper. He dreams about wrestling me. Every time I see him,

he tells me how much he'd like to work with me. It's his dream and ambition!

And I think once I've wrestled Madman Pondo, then I can call it a career. Once we've hit each other

over the head with neon light tubes, shot each other with staple guns and all that other crap, then I'll

feel like I've done it all, because I've wrestled them all, except for Madman Pondo.

The funny thing was, the Insane Clown Posse were pretty damn good workers. My big match on

the first show was me and the Insane Clown Posse against Lawler and two partners.

On the second show, I wrestled Dusty, but it wasn't exactly just like old times. We'd both slowed

down a bit. The day before, we walked to lunch together. It took an hour to get from our hotel to the

restaurant, and it was only a block and a half away.

After my match with Dusty, I was watching the Insane Clown Posse against Madman Pondo and

another psychopath, Necro Butcher. During the match, they did a spot that you might not think would

get over, but it sure as hell did with this crowd.

At one point in the match, Shaggy 2 Dope was lying outside the ring, terribly hurt from the beating

he'd taken. Pondo and Butcher were in the ring with Violent Jay. I was looking at Shaggy 2 Dope,

trying to figure out what he was doing on the side of the ring, there. Well, he took out a lighter and

was trying to light up a gigantic joint.

Seriously, the damn thing was about 18 inches long! Shaggy 2 Dope got it lit really good, then

threw it over the top rope to Violent Jay. Violent Jay, in a great deal of pain, took a bit hit off that 18-

inch-long joint... and he hulked up! He took another hit, and he hulked up more! He took a third hit,

and he was, by God, invincible. He beat those guys all over the place, and the fans were just going out

of their minds. I always thought the spinning toehold was a good finisher. Maybe I should have been

keeping an 18-inch joint under the ring all that time! Who said marijuana was a depressant?

The smartest thing they did was, they figured out a way to make sure they weren't getting screwed

on the concessions. Live event promoters have always gotten screwed on concessions, because it

seems a lot of the time the amount the concession people pay percentages on is less than what they

actually sold. I'm not saying this goes on at every event, but it happens a lot. Well, the Insane Clown

Posse figured out a way that it wouldn't happen to them.

When you went through the gates at the Insane Clown Posse events, you traded in cash for Insane

Clown Posse coins, and the only way you could buy your concessions was with those coins. At the end of the show, every concessionaire has to report all their sales, because they have to turn in their Insane Clown Posse coins for cash. The clowns win again!"