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Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

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Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

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I love being on tumblr with you guys it feels like we're all out here in the sandbox going 'look at this cool shell i found' and then people go 'oh hell yeah sick' and all pass it around to look at it

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10 year old Dick: "Bruce, when you get married, can I be the best man?"

Bruce: "Of course, chum."

---

12 year old Dick: "Hey Clark, do you think when you get married, I can be your best man?"

Clark: "I don't see why not."

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25 year old Dick: "In my defence, I had no way of knowing you'd end up marrying each other."

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Tim, after a long patrol, collapses onto the couch and ends up falling mostly on Dick

Jason, in a lightly mocking tone Awww, look at the sleepy baby

Dick humms and shifts, trying to get more comfortable with the extra weight

Jason grins, sees the opportunity to annoy Dick, and leans on Tim to put more pressure on Dick, stretching widely, I’m so tiiiired

Dick too tried to realize Jason is being a brat, starts patting Jason’s hair Me too man, me too

Jason who is also exhausted from patrol feels his eyelids start to droop, begins to doze on Tim unwittingly

Tim is completely unaware

Tim later wakes up trapped not only between Dick and Jason but all their other siblings have joined the pile in some way

Tim glances sideways and sees Bruce sitting in a chair

Bruce, not looking up, Alfred has already sent the photos to Barbara

Tim huffs then goes back to sleep, knowing attempting escape is futile

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“People think that Clark is Bruce's sugar baby” WRONG. People think that Clark is his personal assistant because Clark spends every minute of his existence next to Bruce in a clerk's suit. He never wears a badge for a newspaper representative because he has a personal pass to every building owned by WE. He constantly takes notes while Bruce whispers in his ear. He brings Bruce coffee at charity events because Bruce doesn't maintain any human-like sleep schedule. He spends most of his spare time in Bruce's office. Half of the staff knows him by name and discusses work gossip with him. When they go public, the board of directors asks Clark to sign papers confirming that Bruce didn't abuse his power to start dating him. Clark just laughs at them.

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Dick, describing how he’s giving Bruce his present: Bruce would never open a gift, right? But what if his gift didn’t look like a gift?

Jason: He would open it?

Dick: Exactly! I left it in a cardboard box on his desk. There’s no card, just the words “open now”, which I wrote with my wrong hand so he wouldn’t recognize my handwriting.

Bruce: *walks past Dick and Jason towards his office*

Dick: Bruce.

Bruce: Dick. Jason.

Jason: Bruce.

Bruce: *enters his office*

Jason: So just to recap, you left an unmarked package on a Gotham billionaire and secret vigilante’s desk on a random Monday with a suspicious message written on it that looked like it was scrawled by a crazy person.

Dick: Mhm.

Bruce: Bomb! There’s a bomb! Everyone out! Let’s go, let’s go! This is not a drill! Let’s go!

Jason: Great gift, bro.

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~ Batman: Universe

"Everything Dad gets, I should have one too" or Dick is okay with whatever new bs Batman gets into as long as he is included. "You have a ring? Where is mine?"

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Clark: "Hey, B, are you okay, you look a little--"

Bruce: "What ever you are about to say, don't say it."

Clark: "Why?"

Bruce, in a whisper: "Because Dick has taken it upon himself to impress me with backflips should I appear upset."

Clark: "And this is a problem because?"

Bruce, still whispering: "Because whilst in all other ways he is a gifted acrobat, every time he does a backflip, without fail, he falls on his face and fighting back the urge to laugh everytime is starting to wear on me."

Clark: "Aww, Bruce. Sounds like he messes up on purpose to try and make you laugh, 'cause I've seen him do backflips lots of times."

Bruce: "Oh..."

---

Bruce, later as he tucks Dick into bed: "If you really want to make me laugh, you should do that thing where you jump onto Clark..."

---

Dick, the next morning leaping from the chandelier: "SKY ATTACK."

Clark, scrambling to catch him: "Jesus, Dick!"

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Weird texture-y thing. He’s pretty.

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izaya is ichigo but evil

evidence:

-both have younger twin sisters

-both of them are voiced by johnny yong bosch

-both of them have an enemy whose seiyū is daisuke ono

-both of them have angered a sword-wielding girl voiced by michelle ruff

-both of them have a close friend known for liking older women whose seiyū is jun fukuyama

-both of them have gotten their asses kicked by a guy voiced by patrick seitz

-both of them have gotten stab wounds from someone voiced by liam o’brien, and both of them have a mentor-like figure voiced by liam o’brien

-both of them have worked with and frequently bothered a dangerous man voiced by dan woren

-both of them have worked with an untrustworthy person voiced by doug erholtz, and both of them have been threatened by a person voiced by doug erholtz

-both of them have caused a character voiced by stephanie sheh to have an emotional breakdown

-both of them got kicked out of the supernatural scene after an epic fight to the death where no one died

-both of them lie to their dads

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Anyway I'll now present to yall dick grayson's entire character arc using only two memes, behold:

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beautiful blue acrobat birb,,

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Jason, reading a newspaper: "Holy shit. Lex Luthor's name is Alexander? I had no idea..."

Tim: "What, you thought his parents just named him Lex?"

Jason, shrugging: "Well, yeah. Parents are always calling their kids dumb shit. Look at Dick."

Tim: "...You know Dick is short for Richard, right?"

Jason, setting his paper down: "What."

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Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂

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Jason: Everyone knows the 4 steps of being a Robin.

Dick: Make a plan

Tim: Execute the plan

Damian: Expect the plan to go horribly wrong

Jason: Wing the hell out of it