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[dorisbestfriends4ever]

[demo2023 lyrics]

white bull terrier*

and i was two when you got me 

you singled me out behind the rusted wire fence

you never liked living alone

a 30 pound white bull terrier 

with a spot on my face that you kissed 

the day that you got me and took me home 

to where you reside

with the remains of old dogs 

that still sit at the door and wait 

of you to get home

to come home

you hated living alone 

i’m yours now

i hear your recall and i’m there

when you slap your hands

from which you feed me

the ones you bare my body in

but now my teeth can’t grip 

the words to make you hear me

i’ve learned to bite the bullet 

and keep quiet till i’m alone

time alone with you is now time alone with myself

just put me down like a dog 

who wont make it till monday 

and i’m trying to get home

i just want to get home to you

help me decide

if i should try

help me decide 

if i should try

be tall be strong 

white bull terrier

be tall be strong

white bull terrier 

the horse race*

in repetition there is comfort 

and in comfort i’ll repeat the same mistakes 

and when the race is finally over 

they’ll never catch me 

i never made it there 

if we run this race 

would you stand with me 

in the place they left and we can watch them 

move into the space that i was aiming for 

they will cross the finish line 

i am running i am chasing 

they have all moved past me we can watch them 

fall at the finish line 

but i am not complete 

were you watching 

i’m not complete 

in repetition there is comfort 

and in comfort i repeat the same mistakes 

and when the race is finally over 

they’ll never catch me 

i never made it there

(and if i make it i’ll fall at the line, the horse race)

if you keep walking 

over the petals underneath your feet

you will fall through

you will fall through 

no matter hard i try 

i’ve come undone again

i will fall through

i will fall through 

3 plates at this table 

not a single one mine

you will fall through 

you will fall through

bite marks all over this apple 

not a single one mine 

fairfield, conn.*

when it gets quiet that’s when i hear it

hear it the loudest

i should have been there, i should have known

should’ve known better

still haven’t seen you cry haven’t heard you say

never hear you say sorry

hit me as hard as you can

until the boy problems 

leave my voice

hit me as hard as you can

until my breath is gone 

spoken word - she makes me feel better, but for how long will she keep me safe

who’s gonna be there to notice i’ve changed, watch me grow, or stay the same

how was i supposed to know i spoke too much 

it felt like i was right until i got home 

i still can’t talk to my mum i still can’t tell if you leaving was good or bad 

but i promised to keep moving forward, keep growing until i see no one else around me 

i will keep running and i will keep falling 

i watched her as she drew her gun from the holster 

loaded with every vulnerability i’ve told her 

she fires it for the start of the race, i run with no knowledge of the end and i will keep running with no knowledge of the end 

at what point does “no questions asked, at some point i just wasn’t enough” turn into “no questions asked, you tried your best”

i will not find 

my way home 

i will not find 

my way home 

(and i have tried i fell, 

i will keep on running it home)

atsomepointijustwasntenough*

every time i stand by the kitchen 

teach myself how to cry

i forgot the feeling 

wish i understood why

catch the bus every morning 

i’m learning how to fit in

but when i sit there all alone 

they’re always there with me

reminds me of the summer 

the same 3 songs on repeat

if i could take us back to then 

would you tell me the same 

no questions asked 

at some point, i just wasn’t enough