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everything my mother didnt tell you

12th of august, 2016 she didnt tell you that i cry myself to sleep nearly every night because of the lack of you, that every morning i wake up with swollen, reddened eyes, saying 'ive dreamt about him again', that every now and then i pause and space out, no matter what im doing - little does she know, though, that certain activities, shows or objects remind me of you so much that i cant cope, and i need a moment to compose myself. she didnt tell you that sometimes i find things (music, incredible makeup, more incredible beauty vloggers, cats, pugs, stuff youd enjoy) and i only realise that i cant send it to you when ive already copied the url.. she didnt tell you that my eyes get cloudy whenever someone mentions your name around me. she didnt tell you that i act as if nothing changed at all, as if no time had passed at all.. as if i werent the one who caused this. as if i werent the one who created my own personal hell. i still do feel the way i told you i felt when we last spoke about our feelings.. i always will

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Dina Lun

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my piercing has healed

but something else hasnt. and im pathetic that im still so hung up on us, on you and on everything i dont have anymore. but i dont know what should i do or what could i do. i obviously cant ask for your help that please let me get over you, please make me believe that i dont love you anymore and please make me believe that im perfectly fine like this. one year without hearing your voice or touching your skin. one fucking hard year with the biggest amount of tears and evenings spent explaining my roommates why im crying. lies all around me, yes, i say that its enough for me that you are happy but thats just something that im trying to convince myself of, probs to make it easier. i really really want to meet you next year, or the year after that, but im afraid youre not interested and im afraid i wont recognise you, because i have an image of you in my head that i only know because of my dreams. and you know, i really hope that this day of yours will pass without thinking about me, without actually realising that it was exactly a year ago that i said that i wasnt happy with you. counting the days till our next coffee though. (o and pls remember that song i sent you of seafret - still very relevant)

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Floating (2016) by Gianni Passeretti

Quote by Earl Nightingale

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cant forget you. dont want to.

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valahogy mindenrol te jutsz eszembe

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you is me me is you.

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still

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Foam Flower, Roadside in Western Ma.

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oh god

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nyelveszporn

Ewa Partum - L'Alphabet, 1973-1975

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