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I take it all back there's no way I'm leaving my apartment today.its 84 and the sun hasn't even risen

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whatever maybe I won't go.its gonna be so hottttttt tomorrow

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ugh I have to wake up at like 10am fml. not even for work just to get to the coffee shop next door to spend this dumb gift card before it expires .sigh .what kinda coffee shop closes at 3pm. that's like when I wake up

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not looking forward to waking up early and going out tomorrow but I do what I have to do. now let's see if I actually DO it

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a couple days ago my coworker hit me with the "[when i was in the military] I slept in my coat and boots sitting upright" (hes one of Those guys who goes on nonstop about his time in The Middle East) and I literally laughed at him out loud and said Dude. have you Ever been ice fishing. me and every single other person in minnesota can and has done that. and he was literally dead silent for the rest of the night .ive never hit anyone with such a fatal comeback it was exhilarating

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millions of american soldiers die every year trying to rocket jump. thankfully their lives are worthless

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can someone find me the vine (?) of someone saying beanie weenies in a weird voice.

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the eternal struggle of Good Groceries vs Weed .with good groceries, of course, they taste very good. but with weed, the bad groceries can also taste good. and you can't have both. you cant.

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the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby

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i know if I buy tickets ill be miserable the whole time because I hate standing and I hate loud noise and I hate smells and sights and sensations but nnnnngh the flaming lips opening for modest mouse ....... Seventy Eight Dollers Small Price To Pay To Stand In A Crowded Floor Area And Listen To Two Bands I Like In A Suboptimal Listening Environment

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son of a bitch when you spend money the money goes AWAy

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