dovebite

[dovebite]

let's build a spud gun with mama dad

[dovebite]

Wilson’s Heart / Either Way I Lose, Nina Simone

[dovebite]

being autistic makes the house md experience tons more immersive because you'll be like THINGS R CHANGING 😦😦😦I HATE CHANGE THIS IS SO SCARY FUCK FUCKKK!!!!!! and that is also exactly how house is feeling

[dovebite]

study

[dovebite]

[dovebite]

house headcanons ♡

and if you disagree with any of these no you don't. i'm actually best friends with david shore. hope this helps! <3

sweet , funny , & fluffy

has definetely said "alright relax it wasn't that funny" when one of the ducklings laughed a li'l too hard at one of his jokes.

loves campy, cult classic movies from the 70's-80's. the rocky horror picture show? tell me he wouldn't eat that tf up.

actually eats like a racoon. especially when he's runing low on groceries. will scavenge through his pantry for days on end like a starved ww2 soldier before his gets his ass out of his apartment and goes shopping. has been caught eating all kinds of dastardly concotions as "meals" like pickle slices, stale bread, and shredded cheese. it gets so bad to the point wilson has gone shopping for him on multiple occasions.

literally just a portable heater. this man is a walking heat rock. warm all the time.

cringe warrior. i mean, this one is essentially canon. he kidnapped the star of one his favorite soaps to keep it from being derailed by his death and fangirled the whole time (s4e14). was literally in love with a book series about a boy detective everyone, including the author herself, said was "targeted towards teenage girls" and admitted to being in online fan clubs (early s7). he is actively consumed by his fixations on random media. would go to conventions for his interests if he "had just a little less self respect" in his words.

cameron found his reading glasses very endearing at some point, going as far to tell him he looked cute with them, promptly making him extremely embarrased about needing them for the next month and a half.

has copies of little women and pride & prejudice stashed somwhere away in his house

big on collecting random shit he finds. just picks up pebbles, moss, pennies, and whatever the fuck else he can find on the ground

in true middle aged white man fashion, has named most of the instruments and cars he has owned throughout his life (definetely named the 60's red corvette from s1 some vintage stripper name).

more angsty (?)

actually very jumpy when spooked. the only reason nobody's really ever seen it is because he's pretty difficult to scare.

has never been squeamish. long before he became a doctor, he was never peeved out by gross bodily stuff. people always found it weird how neutral he was towards the idea of vomiting, bleeding, etc.

pre-infarction, was actually very quick and nimble on his feet. it's one of the things he misses the most.

in the early days of the infarction, where the pain was arguably at its worst (from his perspective) due to just how not used to it he was, he would pull all nighters, doing nothing but laying in bed rotating the idea of amputating his leg over and over in his head.

elaborating on this, though he would rather die than admit it, not amputating is genuinely one of the biggest regrets he has in life.

despises being outside in cold weather for prolonged periods of time because it triggers memories of when he was forced to sleep in the grass as a kid.

more on his childhood, he was genuinely so sweet in the earlier years, nobody who knows him now would believe it was the same person. fed stray animals, said his prayers every night before bed, loved hugs, the whole thing. it didn't last very long. by the time he reached the double digits he gave it up.

anyways queens that's all! what did we think? did we like this? please let me know if there are other characters you want me to do. and if you don't agree with these don't be rude about it or i will start crying

[dovebite]

Cameron: he's here, quick act normal.

The boys:

[dovebite]

end of every season

[dovebite]

house is insane. He calls remy 13 as if shes still just a number to him but also treats her like his kid half the time. He was the only one not to write kutner an obituary but his death hit him so hard he ended up in the psych ward. He faked DNA evidence in court to save a guy he actively dislikes half the time. Hes the most selfish man alive and he blames himself for everything. Hes constantly meddling in his fellows and friends lives because he doesnt know how to actually be involved with people in any way other than Scheming and Plotting. And every time he tries to get better he gets beaten back into being a miserable old man

[dovebite]

obsessed with this screenshot. foreman joins the family tradition of sitting on the furniture. chase wears offbrand converse. what icons

[dovebite]

the game IS RIGGED I REPEAT RIGGED

[dovebite]

[dovebite]

First ever interaction between House and Chase

[dovebite]

[dovebite]

incredibly neurotypical thing to say

[dovebite]

damn…

[dovebite]

House MD main cast headcanons

is most of this Wilson and House? yeah. do i feel bad about that? no.

House:

the biggest fucking music snob you have ever met in your entire life

collects CDs, vinyls, cassettes. has a really cool shelf/case for them too

says he hates animals but there is most definitely a stray cat in the alley by the hospital that he's always feeding

i get the feeling he was a kleptomaniac as a teenager

he's a huge asshole but sometimes he isn't actually trying to be one and will just say whatever comes to mind and forget that people can get offended

autistic and probably knows it

definitely makes the grandpa groaning noise every time he gets up from a sitting position

definitely pretends to sword fight with his cane

legitimately cannot stand to be touched 95% of the time. like it viscerally disgusts him or makes him physically uncomfortable like he's in pain (again: autism)

if he ever were to have a child he would be the world's biggest girl dad. im talking playing ponies and dress up with her and showing up to work with little smudges of nail polish on because she wanted to give him a makeover

would also be one of those fathers who is constantly showing off things their child did. his kid made him an ugly clay sculpture of an indeterminate animal? oh it's going on his desk. his kid made him a mug? he drinks out of it every day (or at the very least holding all his pens and pencils). his kid drew him a picture? it's getting framed in his office.

actually not bad with babies and infants. does he like them? no, but they like him. it's just not mutual

likes to sleep on people (Wilson)

his favorite movie is Rocky Horror Picture Show or some cheesy 80s film but definitely lies and pretends to be some fancy snot-nosed film critic

scared of clowns (don't question this one)

was an extremely sickly child but a very healthy and athletic adult which is why he was so adamant not to amputate his leg

got super drunk in his last year of med school and got a stupid tattoo on his ass. only Wilson knows about it

empathy doesn't come very naturally to him clearly but he hates it when Wilson is upset and even if he can't help he'll sit with him until he feels better

sugar fiend

Wilson:

listens mostly to 70s folk and soft rock but will listen to whatever House shows him too

also collects but it's something so stupid and insane and niche that no one understands what he's talking about when he brings it up

would be super ultra dedicated to it too. im talking he would go to conventions about his interests multiple times a year

has had multiple dogs, cats, and one or two reptiles

got the hyper-empathy autism instead of whatever the fuck House has going on

House tries to tell him all the time that he's autistic and he's unfortunately one of those people that's like "but i can't possibly be autistic im perfectly functional!"

is definitely one of those people that's like "my hip hurts...... storm's coming in" and House just stares at him like this 😐

is always the one that House is playing sword fighting

loves to be held as long as it's someone he's close to like im talking fully and entirely consumed with someone else's body

definitely finds relief from deep pressure (again: autism)

would also be a fantastic girl dad. there would be dozens of pictures of him passed out on the sofa with makeup smeared all over his face bc someone gave him a makeover when he was napping

actually very much wanted children and still wishes he had one

HORRIBLE hypochondriac. he understands it's irrational and won't speak about it out of embarrassment but he's especially like that about cancer. working in oncology does that to you unfortunately

loves babies and toddlers. im talking he does the stupid cooing baby voice and bounces and kisses them. babies also very much like Wilson

he has multiple siblings who all have multiple children so family reunions typically have a giant cuddle pile which is him being smothered half to death by his nieces and nephews

scared of heights

was a pretty sick child but spent like 60% of his time in college with a cold or some kind of bug

would love those stupid roadside tourist trap attractions. the biggest rubber band ball in the United States? oh he'd eat that shit up

has probably fished at least once in his life

whenever house tries to show him something on his phone he pulls out a pair of reading glasses and moves his head back and squints at the screen like a middle aged dad

cries about things a lot and gets a little embarrassed over it, usually goes to House if he's upset

would ask House if he would still be his friend if Wilson was a worm and gets very sad and pouty when House says no

Cameron:

dated a few women in college definitely

immune system of steel. has gone multiple years with literally nothing more than a little cough

carries around those little strawberry hard candies and chewy Werther's original caramels in her purse and offers them all the time

definitely kept a lot of her childhood stuffies

hates really bright lights because they give her bad headaches

would definitely fall victim to the "morning shed" trend but to a less extreme extent. like she buy a silk bonnet and mask and starts using a bunch of products before bed

wears rings because she likes to fidget with them

has super dry insanely frizzy hair so she oils it constantly

had super curly hair until she went to med school and it inexplicably became straight

fear of bugs

has a very extensive before-bed routine

has a cat but the cat has some weird stupid name that doesn't make any sense like Faucet or Pantaloons or something insane

has a really great metabolism but eats like a bird for lack of appetite

Chase:

in contrast has the weakest Victorian child immune system. he gets the flu or strep every year without fail and is incapacitated for at least a week

likes old American folk but likes pop and rap artists like Tyler the Creator and Frank Ocean, things like that

really sensitive skin so trying out any new product breaks him out sooooo bad

Mama's boy as a child (if there's something sad and heartbreaking about this in the show that i haven't seen yet REFRAIN!!!!!)

has a really extensive and exhausting hair routine but it gets oily anyway and is sooo pissed that Cameron has better hair than him

i have an inkling that he would be vegetarian or pescatarian (is that how you spell that i don't know) not for any health or environmental reason he just genuinely hates most meat except for fish and chicken

Foreman:

was a really big fat baby and didn't grow out of it until he was like 13

played some kind of sport in school but not like a mainstream one. like he swam or did lacrosse or something

became a neurologist because he's watched multiple aunts and uncles die of neurological conditions or stop functioning from loss of memory and cognition

VERY strict diet and takes lots of supplements that help carefully tracks his intake of

very hairy but was made fun of for it in high school so he shakes his entire body basically bald all the time

smells absolutely fucking fantastic. like coconut and sugar and vanilla and it lasts all day long

loves working with children and sometimes wishes he went into pediatrics

when House isn't in the room sometimes he cheers up the younger patients by doing dumb stuff, like blowing up a latex glove into a balloon or letting them write on his arm or something silly

hated needles as a kid and still has to turn his head away when he gets shots even though they don't make him that nervous anymore

also a sugar fiend so sometimes he bakes for the rest of the staff when there's a get together or some kind of function at the hospital