dowagerintraining

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Hmm, this sounds familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on why…

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A word (or several) about the Haka that was performed in Parliament.

I hemm'd and haww'd about whether to say anything about this. But just a few weeks ago I stood up at the CTU gathering and gave a speech about how important it is to push back against the government's proposed changes to Te Tiriti O Waitangi, and about how they are betting that people from my background, who look like me and sound like me, won't care. And the truth is I do care. Very much.

For the Brits who are waking up, there's going to be a slew of headlines about how the New Zealand Parliament was today 'disrupted' and 'suspended' because a young female Māori MP performed a Haka, backed by other members of her political party (Te Pāti Māori) in response to a bill being read. This Bill proposes to change the Principals of Te Tiriti O Wantangi, the closest thing New Zealand has to a founding document. It has been proposed by ACT, a small and very right wing party who are a coalition parter to our National Party (NZ Tories). The closest political analogy the UK has to ACT is probably The Reform Party.

Our NZ Parliamentary system is based on the English one (And yes, I said English. I meant what I said). It's very recognisable to me, as a Crown structure and system, as I grew up watching coverage of the House of Commons on UK TV.

New Zealand, in accordance with Te Tiriti O Waitangi, is supposed to be a bicultural society. And Bicultural means Māori and Non Māori, not Māori and 'White' or 'British' - so there is supposed to be room for everyone in this agreement. But Māori are supposed to be centralised in this agreement.

I do not see, in the Parliamentary system, room being made for Māori cultural practices or traditions. The types you would see on a Marae, between Māori people. There is not sufficient room for Haka, for Waiata, for Korero in Te Reo Māori. How do I know this? Because if there was, half of the space of these proceedings would be made available for this. So my feeling about Parliament has been, since arriving here, that it is not truly bicultural. It is not a fusion of systems. It is an imposition by The Crown. Our way or the high way.

So today, when Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke, of Te Pāti Māori, lead that stirring rendition of the Ka Mate Haka in Parliament (and yes, she led it, she did not perform it alone) - I didn't see disrespect. I didn't see disruption. I certainly didn't see hate. Though I wouldn't blame her for feeling that way towards the people who have drafted and proposed this bill.

I saw anger. I saw frustration. I saw defiance to the existence of this bill. I saw people fighting, bitterly, to have their say, in their way, in a system which doesn't acknowledge them, doesn't make room for them, and doesn't respect them. Or rather, only accepts them when they use the strictures and structures imposed by The Crown.

Te Tiriti o Waitangi was supposed to enshrine Māori interests and traditions, and the promise of that has never been truly fulfilled.

If Te Tiriti had ensured true bicultural equality, haka performances in Parliament might not be seen right now through a colonial lense and viewed as an inconvenience by so many people. The fact that this haka was performed as this parliament were voting on a proposed piece of legislation which further strips away their rights and recognition...? It was absolutely appropriate. And I back them all the way.

The Parliamentarians had a colonialised view of how today was 'supposed' to go. This wonderful, young, passionate Māori wahine didn't subscribe to that. She did things her way, backed by people who knew why this was important. If Te Tiriti had ever been enacted properly, this wouldn't have been shocking. It would have been expected. It would have been valued. And this ... toilet-paper-in-waiting disgrace of a bill would never have made it on to the floor.

We're all so proud of the All Blacks doing the Haka at the rugby, aren't we! Great tradition for the rest of the world to share, two minutes at the start of the game, great way to amp up the players and crowd. But reducing Haka, in purpose and tradition, to that sole example? That's a disservice. Ka Mate was the first Haka I was ever exposed to, and yes, it was watching the All Blacks perform it at the Rugby World Cup. It is powerful, and not enough people know the meaning of it. It's more than an entertaining two minutes before the game kicks off. It packs a punch, politically. Go take a look. It was the perfect sentiment for this moment.

Kei runga koe, Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke. Karawhiua!

https://www.toarangatira.iwi.nz/kamate

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You can't shame someone into doing their homework.

But you can shame someone out of doing anything that isn't their homework (or a parental chosen and approved activity eg sports training or music practice.)

And some parents think this is motivation instead of narrowing horizons and controlling behaviour.

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

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Dame Maggie Smith

1934 - 2024

I will be going into mourning for the Dowager Countess for a while.

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*Blows dust off...*

*Lid creaks open...*

Hello...?

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Under these rules, would Alan Lee or John Howe have created any of those stunning works of art that inspired Peter Jackson and gave us the LOTR trilogy of films? Possibly not. And that makes me sad.

Is The Tolkien Estate crazy?

Have you seen FAQ on the new The Tolkien Estate webpage? https://www.tolkienestate.com/frequently-asked-questions-and-links/?fbclid=IwAR3oyGPRKgf1sE3B9D_3e1WtVJaYV0yZHConYXedDJY79tDy8SKmYetqrY4 No fanfiction, no fanzines, no Tolkien music, no Tolkien quotes (without permission), no writing in Tolkien languages (if you intend to post it somewhere), no Tolkien-related events (even charitable and not-for-profit ones - no exceptions), no public readings (without permission), no recordings of reading of Tolkien works (and TE is going to take action against unauthorized audiobooks or readings on social media), no Tolkien photographs. Tell me if it is true, or if someone is joking!

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Anxiety is not activism.

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The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. [...] The thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet. This was the Captain Samuel Vimes "Boots" theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms

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why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

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Okay no one on Tumblr that I've seen has been talking about the wine and cheese thing, but that means no one is reflecting on the absolute weapons-grade hilarity of Boris Johnson trying to inchworm his way out of trouble by claiming that he didn't know about it

Like... that wine and cheese party was the Downing Street works Christmas do. Not just any old social, the Christmas social. There were invitations. There was music. Every single worker in Downing Street was invited, even Debbie from accounts. People who didn't work there but were important to the government got invited.

And Boris is therefore claiming that all his mates got together and had a party and DIDN'T INVITE HIM.

Not only that, but they deliberately kept it a secret from him, because no one wanted him there to ruin the party because no one likes him, and I just...

The key difference between Johnson and Trump always came down to this: Johnson wants to be liked. He genuinely does. Trump wanted to be respected and feared and obeyed, he wanted to be seen as powerful and suave and cool. But he didn't care about how liked he was. Johnson, though, really fucking does. He's a deeply pathetic little twat, and he wants people to like him.

So, his choices currently are

Tell everyone in the country that his own friends and coworkers actually cannot stand him, to the point that they arranged an entire Christmas party without him

Admit that he was there and immediately be hated by literally every single human being in the country, including his own voters (hello North Shropshire), because while the rest of us spent Christmas 2020 in a lockdown and unable to see each other and in many cases literally alone, him and his mates held an illegal Christmas party that the police are refusing to investigate

His popularity is now nosediving in the polls, and it really cannot be stated how much that will be burning him.

Also, pro-Brexit Tories are even pissed off with him now. Which is a bit like someone buying a cake called a pus cake with pictures of pus all over the box and a warning sign that says This Cake Contains Pus and Other Bodily Fluids, and then crying because when they tried to eat the pus cake they found it was filled with pus. But also really funny.

Anyway, I'm placing the bet now: we will see a vote of no confidence, OR he'll jump before he has to experience that (because it would kill him), and our next PM will be Rishi Sunak

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No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don’t care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD

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And it doesn't help when the UK government were blurring the lines between the two for their own benefit...

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I feel like I want to frame this tweet and put it on the wall for this year...

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Puppies waking up

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owning cats is mostly just about getting meowed at