dr-charlie-eppes

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hey guys I'm doing pretty not goo--*calculates the number of people I know irl who follow me*--pretty fine and normal even and--*calculates the odds my boss is following me are slim, but not 0*--and dedicated to productivity, customer satisfaction, a commitment to quality, and--*calculates the odds the Zodiac Killer is following me are slim, but not 0*--where are the bodies.

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T-shirt that reads I STRUGGLE TO INTERACT WITH OTHERS

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"I sort fics by kudos and only kudos on stories with high kudos counts, why aren't there more stories with high kudos, I ran out of things to read." You're part of the problem.

"Authors artificially inflate comment counts by thanking people, I can't find anything with a real comment count to read." No they fucking are not, they're grateful for engagement.

"I can't read anything under 100k." That's the majority of fics you're ignoring, most novels aren't even that long.

"I don't have time to look for the incredibly rare diamond in the rough, so I won't read anything below a certain amount of kudos, comments, and hits." Those fics are popular because people gave them a chance and then snobs like you found them.

"I won't read anthing with a single typos." You made typos in that sentence, get off your high horse.

"One singular author didn't thank me for commenting, I'm never commenting on any fic again so I don't get burned." You're punishing people because someone didn't give you engagement they don't owe you that they might not have seen.

"This fic is three months old, it's so old, it doesn't matter if I comment or kudos, it's old." Fics do not have expiration dates, comment and kudos.

You're killing your fandoms with your snobbish behaviors.

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they put pussy in the water supply to keep the lesbians healthy

ⓘ Fact Check

There are currently no jurisdictions worldwide that mandate the addition of pussy to drinking water, nor have any clinical trials shown that the addition of pussy to drinking water has any significant effect on the heath of lesbians.

For more information on Tumblr Fact Check or to report inaccuracy, please see our reports page.

[dr-charlie-eppes]

no offense to mr. and mrs. antilles but who the fuck looks at a baby and thinks “i’m gonna name it wedge”

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i have a favorite tweet of the year already

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oh okay

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I'm very fond of this video

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Fic writers, put in the tags what the difference in hits is between your most and least viewed fics. Mine is 7,720 (7,779-59).

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candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

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Don’t mind me. Just cleaning your dash