dragondroid

[dragondroid]

a nice little benefit of bottom surgery I didn't get told about before was that i no longer have to worry about slamming my dick in drawers

[dragondroid]

no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

[dragondroid]

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

[dragondroid]

Radio/TV tower, Sint-Pieters-Leeuw, 1996

[dragondroid]

oh you have to go pee? are you like, self diagnosed

[dragondroid]

me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

[dragondroid]

[dragondroid]

[dragondroid]

[dragondroid]

The Onion continues to never miss

[dragondroid]

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

[dragondroid]

when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right

that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?

[dragondroid]

I think Spock could hang out with Squidward because they're the same type of cultured faggot but Squidward would get petty and mean about something and Spock would be like honestly mr tentacles I find this type of outburst very distasteful. & he would fix him

[dragondroid]

One of the funniest things about you Marvel bitches is how much you suck at making gifs

[dragondroid]

It is your sworn duty, when you're in your 30's, to do something every day that would have gotten you viciously bullied in high school.

[dragondroid]

[dragondroid]