dragons-imagined - Tumblr blog

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Diversity win! The horniest person you know is on the asexual spectrum

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woke jigsaw doing land acknowledgements for his torture warehouse

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in World War 1 around 8 million horses died but in World War 2 it was under a million which can only mean horses started to evolve bullet resistance

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The Good Place characters and how fast they’d pick up on Dracula

Eleanor: If Eleanor came to Transylvania on a business trip it was definitely a scam on her part to begin with, so her mental transition would be going from “I am scamming this rich old guy” to “Maybe this rich old guy is scamming me?” She’d figure it out, but the question is whether she’d do so before throwing herself headlong into seduction by the vampire brides.

Chidi: On the one hand, Chidi would be desperately trying not to judge Dracula for different cultural customs and be polite to the point of endangering himself. On the other hand, William Jackson Harper said Chidi would have survived Midsommar because he would have bolted the second things started to get weird, so by that logic he might have just frozen in place when the villagers warned him about the castle, panicked about whether it was worse to break his business promises or offend their cultural customs, and not gotten on the carriage.

Tahani: Tahani wants to make a good impression on aristocracy. Tahani is doomed.

Jason: I actually think Jason would figure out that Dracula was bad news pretty quickly, just not necessarily that he was a vampire. He’d start by going everywhere he wasn’t supposed to, learn this dude is some kind of serial killer kingpin, and then when Dracula says “You can go but there are wolves outside!” Jason would say “Sweet, bro!” and go out and get eaten by wolves.

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what if we held hands at spirit halloween

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i love making tumblr posts out of something i just said on discord. if i ever dm you a joke and then you see the exact same thing on tumblr worded differently know that i was using you as a test subject. you are a little rat in a sterile environment and i am a lab coated scientist recording your response to the stimuli in isolation, nodding and going I See. quirkier punctuation would elevate the joke beyond its current comedic potential, i think. run the experiment again in a broader environment igor. we must create the Perfect Joke

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sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

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Small thing that breaks my heart:

When I was in third grade, I told this boy that it would be my birthday in four days, and he said, “okay, then I’ll buy you flowers.” Four days later he comes up to me and says, “my mom wouldn’t let me get flowers but I found you this violet in the grass.” That in and of itself was iconic and so so sweet, but it gets better.

A month later, I had to move, and because it was third grade, the teacher made everyone write me letters to say goodbye. His said, “I hope you have so much fun in your new house that you forget about me. I hope that you’re always happy and you never miss us. I’m sorry I never gave you flowers, but I can give you some now.” And he fucking. Drew me flowers.

No, Joey, I never forgot you. You are the reason I have standards in this life, and I’m so grateful to have known you. I hope you’re happy, wherever you are, and I hope that the rest of your days are filled with as much joy as you gave to me. I spilled water on the card about five years ago, and half of it is a a jumbled mess now, but I still have it. It’s the only card I still have.

The funny thing is this dude and I hardly ever interacted. I knew he played football because he was on the town’s kids’ team and my brother was on the middle school team, and I knew he was one of, like, three Joeys in our year. I had a crush on him but obviously never communicated that because it was fucking third grade, but somehow those three interactions imprinted on who I am as a person. I am forever changed by Joey from third grade.

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Nothing gives the same kind of random ego boost like managing to finally clean up your home and making it nice. Like ooh look at me, I'm living like people do, I made myself iced tea and I am eating my snack from a real plate. I got floors and shit.

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where's that picture that ruined my life

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This is reminder to check up on your own mental health.

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There's a difference between "disabled" and "legally recognized as disabled," and I just want to give a shout-out to all the other disabled people who don't have formal diagnoses, who don't have access to benefits of any kind, who don't have the ability to use even the shittiest and least-helpful resources, because the process of getting legal recognition for disability sucks ass.

And another shout-out to all the disabled people who purposely avoid getting diagnosed, because official diagnoses can be used against you, and you're unable or unwilling to risk it.

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Very informative thread -source